How do you tell a friend...

[Amberle3]

Here's my problem. There's a small group of us (4) that get together once a month for a kind of pot-luck dinner. One of my friends has recently discovered downloading movies.

Now first of all I'm not all that comfortable watching a downloaded movie. She brought one over last time and the quality was terrible, but aside from that I felt like I was committing a crime just watching it. I've told her this before, but she just basically laughs at me and tells me I'm a "goody two shoes".

The bigger problem is that we have very different tastes in movies. Generally speaking the movies she thinks are great, I think are horrid. She's just downloaded a movie that she's wild about and wants us to see at our next meet. Well neither of us here want to see it at all, I don't know about the third friend.

I can't figure out how to tell her thanks, but no thanks without her going into a snit about it. She obviously doesn't remember us talking about the movie when the commercials were on TV and the discussion on how I didn't want to see the movie at all.

So how can I get her to not bring this movie? If she does bring it, I'll end up spending that time cleaning or something, because I really have no desire to watch it at all.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just say, 'Please don't bring any movies'.

 

[Disney Princess 6]

First off - what is a downloaded movie? Do you mean that someone videtaped it at the theater and put it out on the net? I wouldn't want to watch that either no matter what the movie was!

Why don't you just tell her that you prefer to keep your meetings "movie free" so that you all have time to chit chat. If you have to be quiet for a movie, you won't have time to talk and catch up. This "excuse" allows you to get out of seeing her films without singling her out.

 

[BeamsofLight]

If the purpose of you get-togethers is just to get together, rather than to watch movies, I agree, I would say something to the effect of "Let's do something where we can chat and stuff this time, instead of a movie."

If the 'meetings' have always been about movies, then it might be a little harder. Still, I would think if she was a true friend, she wouldn't be shattered by hearing that you're not interested in that particular film. Beyond that, you know at least 1 other person in your group isn't interested, so 50% of your group isn't. Whenever I have a get together with my friends for movies, we choose by majority rule.

 

[Serena]

How about cutting her off at the pass. Either meet somewhere else, like a public place, or have someone already have a movie ready and say that when you speak with her.

Like, come on over, so and so has this great movie we're going to watch.

 

[holycow]

Good suggestions here....I would say hey we meet to get together and talk not watch movies....since she is coming to your house I would just say...thanks for bringing the movie but I really don't feel we should be watching it...I know how uncomfortable it is but! say something!


Holycow

 

[ballroombelle]

I agree with the above posters-keep the evening "movie-free". Maybe cook at your place instead of bringing prepared foods over-just talking and working and avoiding canned entertainment!

Or some alternate entertainment-some low-rollers poker or pictionary?