How do you spot a fake? (Inspired by scammed posters everywhere)

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Ok... call me a skeptic. I see a post with a long tale of woe and my first thought is, "hmm, sad, but why on earth are you posting here instead of actually out doing something to help yourself?" I immediately put myself into the 'situation' the poster describes and I determine what I would do in the same circumstances. If the poster is ignoring or nay-saying good advice on self-help and asking for donations instead, call me a meanie, but I get suspicious.

So... how do YOU spot a fake? Do you help people even if there's something in the back of your mind telling you something just doesn't add up? Or do you research and look at the poster's history? In this age of information, it's so easy to find out everything about a person. Personally, I am more of a snooper than a believer. Am I jaded or wise? What do YOU do before opening your heart and your wallet?

 

[aprilgail2]

Its funny because I know families with kids with cancer and other familys that could use help, one grandmother that just got custody of three grandkids but was having trouble getting/paying for clothes for them all..I don't ever ask for help on the boards because I don't want to ever hear someone say that I am doing it for profit or anything like that even though I am not...I just make a request during a PTA meeting for anyone that had clothes their kids outgrew and give the sizes the kids need and get them help that way...and give what my daughter has outgrown that i still have. I am a skeptic so unless I know them personally I am hesitant to give.

 

[Disney Doll]

I wing it. I follow my intuition.

 

[FSUGrad97]

For me, if the basic points of the "story" don't add up, I become very skeptical.

In the newest scam post, the poster said that she showed some outfits to her friend (who of course is in dire straits), but her friend did not like them so she (the OP) had them on E-Bay. This is the same "friend" that already had 2 other children and was expecting triplets and her husband kicked her out of the house and she had nothing.

The story didn't add up on the basic level, and when asked questions, the poster started erasing her posts, and claiming she was being attacked.

 

[need_a_Disney_fix]

I am like Disney Doll. I have a very keen sense of mother's intuition and I value it. I can smell a scam a mile away.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Red flags go up when a person "needs help" but refuses to listen to good advise.

I think they are lying or just thrive on attention.

I've seen people post here about how awful things are. As long as DISers are giving out hugs and pixie dust all is well. As soon as other DISers come along and make suggestions that may improve things, the person gets upset. They will also have hundreds of reasons why they can't put some the suggestions to good use.

 

[Kim&Chris]

Like Disney Doll, I use my intuition. If there are one or more red flags (as described), it's usually a scam or a lie.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I don't. I just don't give any money to anyone but the charities I donate to every January. I pick my charities, donate my blood, and the rest of the world can hunt elsewhere. Can't support everyone! (Friends or family is different story, of course.)

In China, parents with blind or deformed children rent the kids out to beggars who ask for money for the poor child!

 

[va32h]

Well I think I listed mine in the thread that got locked.

1)dramatic situation, often involving children

2)request for specific type of item donated, or cash

3)always some reason why practical advice, gov't assistance, or other methods of raising funds won't work

4)dramatic situation continues to escalate, often within days of the first request for help

When someone asks for financial assistance for themselves, the first thing I wonder is "if you are so broke, why do you still have a computer and internet service" , but then some kind-hearted person always suggests that they must be using the library...eh, I'm just really, really cynical.

 

[janette]

Good list va32h, they often seem to be gushy also when someone does send something. They also seem to bump their own gimme threads when interest dies.

As in the latest scam it is often a friend or relative in need not the poster. There are many local organizations to help women and children in need, appealing on an internet board isn't going to get anyone the real help. When the offers for real help or how to find it are ignored it's a red flag.

 

[ilovepcot]

Well, first thing with me...I *never* give to people I can't see face to face. There are just WAY TOO MANY needy people right in my own town that require help in so many ways. Chances are there are needy in your town, too.

 

[joshsmom]

I'm a sap and I know it, so I stay away from everything but legitimate, established charities. I look for charities with very low administrative costs. I saw someone here on another thread about an abused woman needing help and instead of buying it and sending money, the poster sent money to a known Women's Shelter. I thought that was AWESOME. If you have earmarked money to send "somewhere" instead of getting pulled into a scam--you know your money is going to a good place if you donate to an established charity. Just my thoughts.

 

[ExPirateShopGirl]

Well I think I listed mine in the thread that got locked.

1)dramatic situation, often involving children

2)request for specific type of item donated, or cash

3)always some reason why practical advice, gov't assistance, or other methods of raising funds won't work

4)dramatic situation continues to escalate, often within days of the first request for help

When someone asks for financial assistance for themselves, the first thing I wonder is "if you are so broke, why do you still have a computer and internet service" , but then some kind-hearted person always suggests that they must be using the library...eh, I'm just really, really cynical.

This was the wise post I remember from yesterday! You called it!

 

[mking624]

I don't mind helping people I've never met face to face (I've done it before), but I have rules I follow when it comes to helping online people....

1. First of all, I consider it rude to come on a message board and start asking for help. It's one thing to ask for advice on how to receive help or how to raise money...but to come on here and say "hey, can you send me this and that?" is something I find out of line. That is a question that should only be asked to people you do know, not for the general public (send your online friends a PM if you really need their financial help).

2. I will only send assistance to those who are established members of a community. I want to be able to see their posting history...because I want to find out what kinds of posts the individual has made in the past and I want an opportunity to get to know someone.

3. I pick the "help me" story apart. I compare every last detail to posts they've made in the past (this is why I want to see a posting history).

4. If questions arise, the person must be willing to answer them. Getting extremely defensive or erasing posts or anything of the sort immediately raises suspicion. A person who is legit will have no problem being completely open...considering they are asking the public for help.

5. I am VERY good at asking questions in a way that doesn't look like I'm using the answer to find out the legitimacy of a situation.

 

[phillybeth]

Well I think I listed mine in the thread that got locked.

1)dramatic situation, often involving children

2)request for specific type of item donated, or cash

3)always some reason why practical advice, gov't assistance, or other methods of raising funds won't work

4)dramatic situation continues to escalate, often within days of the first request for help

Yup. Those, combined with natural skepticism and an instinct for when I am being bullcrapped. Not that I'm 100%, but I'd much rather be wrong than be a fool.

 

[inaminute]

I did get scammed once online. I fell for the sad sob story, which is very unlike me. I guess I was feeling generous that day.

Anyway, it won't happen again. I only give to local charities or situations where I actually know the persons involved. I'll never again give to a stranger online. And, yes, that even applies here on the DIS. I do feel as if I know some people here, but IRL, we're all still strangers.

 

[UrsulasMyHero]

I use gut instinct/Intuition. I;ve been scammed once - and it cut me to the core. I'm a hella lot less trusting than I was before.

 

[poohandwendy]

Years of life experience have taught me to be a natural skeptic.

I often wonder how online scammers can sleep at night, but then I am reminded of something I read a while back pertaining to online 'relationships'.

On the one hand, many people are forming close relationships with others online and do not need face-to-face interaction to feel closely attached, as we can break the barriers of inhibition more easily than in face-to-face situations. This does make many people vulnerable to online scammers. But, it's a double edged sword because many people are not feeling many of the the social responsibilities that come with face-to-face contact. The piece talked about social repercussions of 'virtual' relationships with REAL people. On the one hand, you turn off your PC and walk away...the people are gone...voila, no tangible accountablility. On the other hand, you are interacting with living breathing people who have real emotions and real responses. So, you can have the same affect on people that you do in face-to-face contact, but not be held personally accountable for it. Interesting stuff. (there was obviously much more, I am just scratching the surface)

It really made me think about how often we talk about our RL...as if what we are experiencing here and now (on the net) is not our REAL lives. We mentally separate RL from online life, but we ARE impacting others on the net. It just brings about some ethical issues, moral issues and responsibilities. I mean, do we have no moral responsibility merely because we can turn the power button off and walk away? It really makes you think. It will be interesting to see how internet activity will change society over time.