How do you respond to rude invitations?

[Queen2PrincessG]

So SIL's sister send this event invite over Facebook. And I quote:

Come enjoy brunch & relaxation to celebrate the arrival of our newest family member!!!! The new baby girl has plenty of clothes sizes 0-12 months, so if you could bring just a pack of diapers that would be such a blessing to them!.....She also has a small wishlist at Target

Ok A second showers are tacky in my eyes even if it's for a child of a different sex. Second where do they get off telling people what to bring? Obviously every parent loves getting diapers but if they are considered a "blessing" maybe you shouldn't be having a second kid. I checked out her Target list and was surprised to see breast pump. Someone bought her a breast pump last pregnancy and you know what happened to it? She forgot that she placed it on the ground outside and her husband backed up the truck over it. It was a hands free Medal pump--not cheap.

It just rubs me the wrong was as does many thing with that side of the family.

 

[Jennasis]

So SIL's sister send this event invite over Facebook. And I quote:

Come enjoy brunch & relaxation to celebrate the arrival of our newest family member!!!! The new baby girl has plenty of clothes sizes 0-12 months, so if you could bring just a pack of diapers that would be such a blessing to them!.....She also has a small wishlist at Target

Ok A second showers are tacky in my eyes even if it's for a child of a different sex. Second where do they get off telling people what to bring? Obviously every parent loves getting diapers but if they are considered a "blessing" maybe you shouldn't be having a second kid. I checked out her Target list and was surprised to see breast pump. Someone bought her a breast pump last pregnancy and you know what happened to it? She forgot that she placed it on the ground outside and her husband backed up the truck over it. It was a hands free Medal pump--not cheap.

It just rubs me the wrong was as does many thing with that side of the family.

You lost my sympathy at this comment.


In my family, every new birth gets a shower.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I agree it's tacky.

I would buy some diapers or something off the Target list (unless I had already bought something) and go and meet my new niece.

It's not worth getting worked up over.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So SIL's sister send this event invite over Facebook. And I quote:

Come enjoy brunch & relaxation to celebrate the arrival of our newest family member!!!! The new baby girl has plenty of clothes sizes 0-12 months, so if you could bring just a pack of diapers that would be such a blessing to them!.....She also has a small wishlist at Target

Ok A second showers are tacky in my eyes even if it's for a child of a different sex. Second where do they get off telling people what to bring? Obviously every parent loves getting diapers but if they are considered a "blessing" maybe you shouldn't be having a second kid. I checked out her Target list and was surprised to see breast pump. Someone bought her a breast pump last pregnancy and you know what happened to it? She forgot that she placed it on the ground outside and her husband backed up the truck over it. It was a hands free Medal pump--not cheap.

It just rubs me the wrong was as does many thing with that side of the family.

Well since they rub you the wrong way to begin with I think getting them diapers is perfect.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Oh, I am so sorry I/we will miss it. We have that thing to do at that place.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

In my family, every new birth gets a shower.

I had a shower for DS, but when DD came around, I didn't feel right having one, being that she was our 2nd. Well, I found out that family was a little miffed that we didn't have a party. SO after DD was born (she was ~6 weeks old) we had her first official party. We did not register for anything, nor ask for anything, but family and friends brought gifts anyway. I think it was great how it all worked out.

 

[AshleyW]

You lost my sympathy at this comment.


In my family, every new birth gets a shower.

Same here, to both comments.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Diapers aren't a "blessing" they are a necessity, like formula, for the next 18 months of a child's life. They are something you should plan on buying for yourself. A blessing is a safe birth where mom and child are ok. A blessing is that your pregnancy goes smoothly and with only the usually kins like morning sickness and swollen feet or a sore back.

In my circle of friends the second isn't given a shower. People will give gifts after the birth but the general idea is that if you are having a second you are prepared to buy what you need.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think that I would react the same was as I would act. If I was going to vist the baby and would have brought a gift i wuld simply bring the diapers as was asked. If I had no intention of going to visit the new baby or was choosing not to bring a gift I would ignore teh invitation and move on. It sounds as though this was a casual get together to celebrate the new baby and your SIL had gotten questions what folks could bring. This is small potatoes in my world.

 

[Scurvy]

So SIL's sister send this event invite over Facebook. And I quote:

Come enjoy brunch & relaxation to celebrate the arrival of our newest family member!!!! The new baby girl has plenty of clothes sizes 0-12 months, so if you could bring just a pack of diapers that would be such a blessing to them!.....She also has a small wishlist at Target

Ok A second showers are tacky in my eyes even if it's for a child of a different sex. Second where do they get off telling people what to bring? Obviously every parent loves getting diapers but if they are considered a "blessing" maybe you shouldn't be having a second kid. I checked out her Target list and was surprised to see breast pump. Someone bought her a breast pump last pregnancy and you know what happened to it? She forgot that she placed it on the ground outside and her husband backed up the truck over it. It was a hands free Medal pump--not cheap.

It just rubs me the wrong was as does many thing with that side of the family.

I assume this is a shower being thrown for someone else, and not for the person who actually sent the message. In that case: Mentioning gifts is becoming more acceptable on shower invitations, as long as the guest of honor isn't hosting their own shower. I'm not a huge fan of it - still prefer the information to be passed verbally - but it isn't a huge etiquette violation any longer. I am also a big fan of second showers, since I view the shower as being something to get the mom to be ready for motherhood. I think anyone who wants to give a gift still will even if there isn't a shower. All that being said, I would either accept the invitation and bring diapers or something from the wishlist, or I'd decline the invitation and leave it at that. I wouldn't get upset or worked up about it.

 

[Nancyg56]

You lost my sympathy at this comment.


In my family, every new birth gets a shower.

We do not have second baby showers in my family unless there is a big gap betweenbabies, but honestly it would not matter to me. I always celebrate a new baby with a gift so this kind of "invitation" would not bother me. If teh new Mom needed diapers over new baby outfits I would just pick up diapers.

 

[Sneezie]

Sorry, but I don't find it rude at all. (And, no, I'm not your SIL's sister ) I can totally understand her asking for diapers instead of "more" clothes. Babies grow out of them so quickly that they barely get to wear them anyway. And the wording wasn't rude, in my opinion, either. I don't think what she did was any worse than someone handing out gift registry cards for their wedding. It's actually a bit of a convenience. At least now you don't have to run around looking for gift ideas.

And, I guess if her husband rolled over the last breast pump she had, she would need a new one.

 

[monkeybug]

I must need to go to charm school or something, because I don't see anything wrong with that!
To me it seems like she's just letting people know that they don't need clothes, and diapers are something they do need. I don't think the fact that she used the word "blessing" means they can't afford diapers, I think that's just how some people talk. My good friend always says blessing when she means thankful. For example I offered to bring a dish to her house for a get together and she said "oh that would be a blessing!", doesn't mean she can't afford to feed her family though. LOL, far from it in fact.
And the breast pump thing? Well, I guess if her other one got run over than she does need a new one right? I mean it's not unheard of for even otherwise responsible people to be forgetful is it? I could see something like that happening in my family, I certainly hope that if I were to accidentally break a gift it wouldn't make people think I was unworthy of receiving them in the future.

 

[LuvLDM]

Eh, I would just show up w/ a package of diapers.

 

[phorsenuf]

Wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. Since I would be bringing a little something anyway when I visited it's nice to know what would be appreciated, whether it be clothes, diapers or even a meal.

 

[SaraJayne]

Call me tacky then. I had showers for both my babies. The second one was just as special as the first.

If the invite offends your delicate sensibilities, don't go and don't send a gift.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

I just think it's tacky how her sister wrote it. They have no class or finesse this family. I HATE greeting cards. They end up lost or in a shoe box in my house so I requested that people buy a children's book equivalent to the price of the card and write their message in there.

Either way i'm not going because we are leaving for a cruise that week.

 

[Jennasis]

. Someone bought her a breast pump last pregnancy and you know what happened to it? She forgot that she placed it on the ground outside and her husband backed up the truck over it. It was a hands free Medal pump--not cheap.

It just rubs me the wrong was as does many thing with that side of the family.

By the way...MISTAKES HAPPEN. She accidentally broke something so doesn't deserve a new one???

But I think the real issue here is your last line. You just have an ax to grind.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I didn't have a shower for my second baby, but I don't think down on people who choose to have 2nd showers. And I didn't see anything wrong with the invitation. Most invitations that I receive seem to include where they are registered or a color scheme suggestion. In my opinion, that just makes it easier for me to shop.

It is weird to need a 2nd breast pump though. Oh, I just read why she needed a 2nd one. Nevermind then.

 

[Nancyg56]

It just rubs me the wrong was as does many thing with that side of the family.

My Son IL had to explain to my DD that just because is family does things differently than our family does, they are not rude........bad..............ill mannered. They are different.

Everyone comes from different backgrounds with different traditions and different tolerances. My cousins will often host showers for their own kids. We all acknowledge the purpose of a shower and even though we know that Emily Post would not approve none of us cares. We are all actig together with the best of intentions. It looks as though this branch of your family has their own way of getting things done, it differs with teh way you are used to and you hav decided that different equals wrong. As Jeff pointed out to my DD....it does not.