How do you manage bringing Grandparents?

[natnelliesmom]

My mom has FINALLY decided to accompany us on a WDW vacation! I am very excited as we have extended the invitation each trip and she has always passed.
We are paying for her plane ticket, and accommodations. We are staying in a 2-bedroom Villa at Old Key West, so she'll have her own bedroom and bathroom.
I definitely did not invite her along as a babysitter! We genuinely want her to enjoy the grandchildren and the trip and not be responsible for their care or to watch them so my DH and I can go off alone. We vacation as a family and thoroughly enjoy being with our kids!
I recently made our ADRs and called my mother to let her know what I had booked. She really has no clue about WDW vacations- so she's content to just go along with what I plan.
She commented that I don't have to include her in the reservations. That she can take the baby back to the resort for bed (we will have our 8 week old along on this trip). She said she didn't mind taking the kids back to the room or watching them so we could go with one child or have time alone.

How do I make sure she is not feeling obligated? My DH and I don't expect her to do anything- nothing! Just have fun and enjoy spending time with us. I want to include her in everything she'd like to do with us.

Any tips from others who have taken Grandparents along on WDW trips would be appreciated!
Thanks!
-Sarah

 

[mjkacmom]

We went with my parents (they paid), and my mom said it was great that we had our own rooms, because although they love our kids, and see them daily, they needed a break. I can see your mom wanting some downtime, taking the baby back to the room, or even some time alone. It's hard getting used to children 24/7. I'd also take her up on the offer for a couple of hours alone.

 

[katyjeka]

We are taking my inlaws this Sept. for the 2nd time. I was quite concerned when planning the first trip with them but everything was great. They loved every minute of it, and my dh and I loved watching our children with them. We are really lucky as they are so easy going and just love being with our girls. Yes, they did slow us down, but thanks to them we were able to enjoy a more relaxed trip and realized that there is so much more to disney than rushing from ride to ride.

 

[PolyndianPrincessJes]

My grandparents and my mom have been twice with me and the kiddos (DS4 and DNiece7) since the kids' first trip last May. I always give them the option of sitting this or that out, heading to a gift shop, etc. Last May, I made ADRs for my grandparents at Artist Point so they could have some child-free (well, at least free of "their" children) time. Your mom may not want to eat alone, but she might enjoy an afternoon at the resort or something.

My grandparents did often take the kids back to the pool while my mom and I rode the big rides. It was a pretty easy give and take for all of us. Just let her know she is free to join you here or there or go at her own pace, etc.

 

[Macduffy]

My mom sounds just like your Mom and she's coming with us in September!!! Like most grandmothers she will sacrafice anything for her grandkids including a nice meal for the nap of a little one.
I would just keep telling her the same thing you wrote "we vacation as a family"! To appease her I would tell her that if something comes up and her taking the kiddo's back to the villa is needed (cranky etc.) you'll definetly let her know but that you want to have this vacation as a family and want her to experience the magic of Disney through her grandkids eyes!

 

[EthansMom]

We meet up at WDW often with my Mom and StepDad. They are usually content to just do whatever we want to do.

It sounds like your Mom is like that too, but she's trying also to tell you that she's happy to watch the kids one or two evenings while you go out. IMO, if your Mom is happy taking the kids and you don't have a problem with that... I think you should tell her, "Well, we like to take our vacations as a complete family, but it might be nice for DH and I to have a nice meal alone one evening, if that's alright with you!"

Also, we usually head back to the resort in the afternoons for the kids to hit the pool. And usually, Grampa is ready for a nap right about that same time. Also, we have to pace our days (later night one day, earlier night the next, not too much planned for any one day) for the Grandparents as well as our kids (well, and me too.. DH is a dang energizer bunny).

FYI, I don't know what ADRs you made, but we did Hoop De Doo for the first time last year and the entire family really enjoyed it... the kids AND grandparents still rave about the food and the show... It was on the top of the "must do" list for next month's trip.

 

[amamax2]

I don't know how old your mom is, but we took my mom with us last year to DL - it was really great to have her with us and let her experience it with our family. BUT, while she was a real trooper - and we tried to slow the pace down as much as possible - she was pooped after two days. She is in relatively good shape, but just not used to all that walking and the heat!

So, your mom may WANT to go back to the hotel with the baby for a rest, lol!

My best advice is to play it by ear, try to keep an eye on her as to whether or not she seems to be getting tired (my mom wouldn't tell us, but it became apparent towards the end of the second day. She didn't want to miss out on anything!) and let her know that you would love to have her join you for whatever she wants, but it's OK, too, if she doesn't want to. If she seems like she's getting tired, you could always "suggest" she take the baby back to the hotel "because the baby seems to be getting fussy." Also, give her the schedule, maybe the night before, so she can kind of gauge what she's up for (I think that was one of our mistakes - she didn't really know what the plan was, just followed along).

Lastly, while I will not speak for all grandparents, my experience has been that most get enormous pleasure out of giving the parents a "night to themselves" or easing things by watching one of the kids as long as it is not expected of them.

Have a wonderfult time and take tons of pictures!

 

[ScotsMinnie]

We have taken my Mum with us the last few trips and actually it works pretty well. She loves being a part of our holiday and we love having her!

My Mum is the same she always says that we should go out at night just the two of us and we mostly don't. But as she says she is happy to have some time in the villa and loves putting the kids to bed. I would just see how it plays out and not worry about it too much.

My Last years trip report is in my sig if you want to see how it went last year and I have just started this one.

Have fun!

 

[cuppycake]

We've traveled at various times with our parents and kids and have done it many ways. We ALWAYS make sure there are no feelings of obligation (simply by SAYING we don't want them to feel like they have to .....after THEY offer ).

I think it would be nice if you maybe take her up on one nice dinner without the kids, if you're so obliged. That way, you aren't overdoing it, and she can still have the time with the kids that she seems to maybe want to have to help you out.

Another thought (something that we LOVE). My husband's mom is an early to bed kind of lady. There were a few nights where she went to bed in our room (or the kids in her room....we put them to bed first), then DH and I went out to the bar at the hotel, or to take a swim for an hour. THen we would come back and she would go back to her room (or we would grab the kids and bring them to ours).

ENJOY YOUR TIME!! It's so magical to have the granparents along!!!

 

[MALE*RN*777]

I look at it like I do with our kids...We enjoy watching them have fun...Their faces, their talking over and over about their experiences on the rides ans shows, etc. etc. I think thats how parents of parents are in a way. Also if your that close then she should be honest with you about watching the kids as we will do it with our kids kids because we know that we all need time away or time with the older one so they aren't stuck with doing the little kiddy rides all day. Its sometimes just the idea of being at Disney or on vacation at the beach. Just being there is enough. Just my opinion.

 

[micheleq]

My parents came with us in December (they paid their own way) and they babysat for us one night, which was very nice. Since you are sharing a 2BR at OKW, you could easily go out with your DH in DTD one night and not be too far away.

Our situation is a little different because both my parents and brother were with us, and they spent some time doing their own thing. With you, it's just your mom, but that doesn't mean she might not appreciate some alone time.

Have a wonderful trip. It was great to see my parents and brother with my girls at WDW, but my mom, brother and I had our "moment" watching Wishes one night. Mom started to cry and hugged me and my brother, she said it brought back memories of when she brought us to WDW as kids

 

[DISNEYNV]

We were at Disney last December with my parents and also stayed in a two bedroom at OKW...very nice you will LOVE it!!! My parents took the kids to dinner one night to Prime Time at DHS while DH and I ate at Brown Derby. I didn't think of them as babysitters either. It was their vacation as well and we also celebrated my dads 60th bday while there at Christmas. It was magical and while DH and I love and appreciate time alone we also wanted to spend time as a family. It was really the best trip so far to DW!!! I can't wait for october 2010 when we all do it again for DSs third bday! You will have the best time with your mom Enjoy the memories!

 

[scdisfan]

We took DH's parents and my mom with us on our DD's first trip to WDW last December. Everyone had a great time - mostly watching DD experience everything! This was also my mother's first time at Disney and my in-laws first trip in many, many years! So to help ease their minds about getting around without us, we made little cards that had our info on them - resort name, room number, etc - just to make them more comfortable! I am not certain if your mom is familiar with WDW, but I thought that I would toss this one in! When we planned everything, we made certain to let them know that they were welcome and wanted at all events but if they needed to, it was okay to sit something out. We also had the offers to keep DD while we went back to a park or to DTD. We took them up on one evening but didn't stay out but about an hour or so longer. We really wanted to make certain they our parents rested too! I know that your trip will be even more special with your mom! Have fun!

 

[Lstar311]

My mother and MIL both came with us this time because we wanted them to experience Disney w/ my DS. They offered to watch him so my husband and I could enjoy dinner on our own and we let them. We made it very easy for them though, we went to DTD and they came w/ us. We found them somewhere to eat w/ our son while we went and had our meal. I didn't want them to have to lug him and his diaper bag and stroller on or off the buses so we did all the hard labor!

Also, my MIL doesn't really like the pool so when my son napped the rest of us went to the pool or took turns doing things while he was sleeping.

 

[PaulaSue]

We have gone 2 times with both sets of GPs. Not so much taken them along but more as a family vacation. (We are both only children.)

We plan well ahead, 3 rooms close in same hotel. One meal a day with ressies for all 9 of us but for 2 nights that each set of GP get to take the girls out alone and Dh and I get 2 date nights. We have some time a day together and some time a day along with the 5 of us.

Works out well and we are planning our 3 time in a few years if my father and his can still make it health wise otherwise we are talking about just the girls doing a crusie with the 6 of us in 2 cabins and then half a week at the parks.

 

[trekkie2]

Ok, have to put in a grandma perspective I was able to go for a week last year with my son's family. They have 2 little girls 3 and 7. It was wonderful! DS and DDIL we so worried when I sat with the 3 year old during rides, took the kids back to the hotel one night so they could have a night in the magic kingdom alone, and generally did kid things for the trip, that I was not going to have fun or feel like I was there to "babysit". But for me it was magic to get to watch ants in animal kingdom with the baby while everyone rode, and to swim with them while mom and dad were out. I made such awesome grandma memories on that trip! Parents sometimes forget that we grandmas love to spend every moment with those little ones, we realize how fast they grow and trust me, a vacation "babysitting" grandkids in disney is about as wonderful as it gets

 

[scard192]

I'm a grandma going to Disney in September with my daughter, son in law and 3 year old grand daughter. The "kids" invited me to come along (I'm paying my own way) and I was thrilled! To be able to watch my grand daughter (DGD) experience WDW for the first time is priceless and I am so happy that they asked me to come. I know part of the reason is that the extra person will be a help to them. I don't care for the "thrill rides" and am happy to ride the kiddie rides with DGD while her parents have fun on the other rides. I have my own room and have offered to take DGD back to the room for a nap some days and to have her sleep in my room if her parents want to have a "date night" to them selves on evening. A break on a hot afternoon sure sounds good to me.

IMO, if your parents offer to take the kids off your hands for awhile, take them up on the offer. Grand parents LOVE spending time with the grandkids; if they didn't want to do it they wouldn't offer.

Hope you have a wonderful vacation, this is our first family vacation and I think I am looking forward to it more than anyone.

 

[Snow Shoe]

Well Pa and Grand E, we're the grandparents, have taken our children and their families to WDW for years now. We always offer the parents a "night out" and take the grandkids, to one of their favorate restraunts to eat and then off to a park, usually MK to have fun. We have been fortunate to take all the grandkids to WDW for their very first visit, and this October will be another grandkids firist vist. YEAH!!!! Watching the grandkids amazament as they walk down Main Street, see the castle, and looks when they they see Mickey, Pluto or Goofy for the first time is priceless. We are very fortunate to be able to do this with them now, and hopfully in the many years to come.

 

[Nancyg56]

Another Nana perspective here! We have had several family trips and have always offered to keep our DGD with us so my DD and DSIL could have time on their own. They always said that they did not want time, actually they said that they wanted to take Kady and have time for the three of them. Once we started our vacation it was different. We took Kady with us while they slipped off with my DS and DDIL or while they went out with their cousins. We got to watch Spectromagic and spoil her, follow her arond the dining room at 'Ohana, make castles on the beach while watching teh Elevtric Water Parade and spend long afternoons at the pool just enjoying her antics while her parents played cards with the others.

I think that if you make your plans as a family but are open to heading off alone your Mom will have a wonderful time alone with your children. None of our adventures with Kady were planned in advance. We just took advantage when opportunities arose.
One of my favorite memories was when my DD and DSIL wanted to ride EE in AK. Kady and I just walked the animal trials alone, talking the entire time.

I would suggest that you ask your Mom is there is anything that she would enjoy doing alone with the children, and if she wants that but does not know what activities are available you can make suggestions. Just know that if she is offering she means it. DIsney, grandchildrena dn grandparents are a recipe for

 

[xbatman]

We went with my dad and stepmom in 07. We stayed at WL, and they stayed in their RV at Ft. Wilderness.

They are very active, so we spent time before our trip planning several days for them to be in the parks with us and several days golfing on their own.

We also planned a night for DD (4 at the time) to have a sleepover with them one night at the campground. They went to the Campfire sing-along, made smores, etc. They had a wonderful time, and all still talk about it.

The three of them look forward to sleepovers they have at home, so it was that much more fun at WDW!

By wanting to go along in the first place, your mom is showing she enjoys being with all of you. I doubt she looks at the children as any kind of obligation, or she wouldn't be joining you on vacation in the first place. Most grandparents feel good about helping out with the kids.