How do you manage bringing Grandparents?

[Colleen27]

When my mom travels with us she really wants to spend all her time the kids, so no matter how much we tell her she doesn't have to, she always offers to watch them for us to have an evening out. I know keeping up with them can be tiring for her, though, so we struck a balance. She watches the kids for DH & I to have one adult evening, and then DH takes the kids while she & I hit DTD so we can shop in peace with any bored kids rushing us.

Something else I've learned in traveling with her is that if she offers to take a tired/crabby/sleeping kid back to the resort for a rest or a swim, that's her way of saying she could use the break too. DH & I are pretty active and sometimes we forget that DM is 30 years older and works a desk job and has a harder time with the heat and the walking, so over the years we've started incorporating that into our plans - DM took DD to the Princess tea while DH & I & DS did a commando morning at DHS in our first trip, took DD to storytime with Belle at MK while DS & I ran around to ride all 3 mountains, and on this trip, will be enjoying the Playhouse Disney & Princess shows at DHS while DH, DS & I criss cross the parks to hit the thrill rides & Star Tours and relaxing at Nemo with the girls while the boys & I tackle Everest, Dinosaur and Kali at AK.

It took us a trip or two to work out a routine that fits everyone's travel styles, but we have done a lot of traveling with my mom (not just to Disney) and wouldn't have it any other way. At first I worried that she'd feel like a babysitter and she worried that I'd feel like she was intruding on our family time, but neither ended up happening and it just works out so well for us to have her along. She couldn't afford to take my brother & I many places when we were little so she's enjoying getting to experience it all with her grandkids now, and DH & I are able to do more for DS11 than we'd be able to if we also had DD7 & DD1 with us every moment of every trip.

 

[goofymomof3]

I think honesty is always the best policy. Tell your mom you want her to be a part of everything.... but you also will understand when she has had enough. If she wants to keep the kids one night......great, if she doesn't, that is fine too. Your goal is not to worry but to enjoy the time together. Please enjoy the trip, my mother has always wanted to go with us but just never has done it.....she is now 71 ( not that it is too old ) but her health is getting where she can't do all the walking. Go enjoy your mom and children as best you can with out worry. She is your mom you can read how she feels about things and all will be fine.

 

[donaldsgirl]

Hi..we take my mom with us every trip. She does watch the kids for us some but not always...it is nice to have some help if one of your kids has a melt down. Keep in mind, if she isnt used to trooping everywhere, she may want to go back to the room much earlier than you guys will. My mom generally goes with us in the morning to early afternoon and then she calls it a day..Sometimes my kids stay with her in the room sometimes not. I pay for everything when mom goes as well...and it is hard to make sure she understands that she isnt there to babysit, but she LOVES to play with the kids..that is a huge part of her vacation. She also may feel guilty that you have paid for all of her trip but she isnt doing anything to repay...some people are like that. Let your mom do what she wants..that includes watching the kids..have fun.

 

[crisi]

Some people WANT to feel useful.

We took my mother in law - it would have never occurred to me to leave my kids with her. She didn't offer, we didn't ask. It isn't that my mother in law isn't a kid person, or isn't generous, she just really isn't someone who NEEDS to watch my kids. We had a really nice family vacation.

We took my mother - it would have never occurred to me to deprive her of the opportunity to feel useful by watching the kids. Its what she does. Its what makes her happy. An evening with the kids is all she really needs to not feel like she is "intruding" or "being a burden." She has a much better time when she is allowed to discharge her completely voluntary obligation.

Another factor in play is that neither my parents or my mother in law wanted to be with us all the time. They got tired. They got overstimulated. They wanted to go back to the room - and taking little ones back to nap (and grandma can catch a little rest too) or spending an evening babysitting is the ideal excuse.

 

[missfigment]

my mom and my grandmother came with us on the last trip. They volunteered to keep DS so my husband and I could have a night out...and then one of the days they skipped out on the parks to go shopping in Orlando! Which was totally fine with us. I made sure that it was clear they could do whatever they wanted...and they had a great trip! Dont sweat it...sometimes all grandparents WANT to do is watch their grandkids!