How do you keep your relationship "alive"?

[sk!mom]

This question was inspired by one of the marrige/cheating/lunch with others threads. In one of them someone mentioned the need to keep your relationship "sizzling".

This can be difficult especially if you have kids. They can suck the life right out of you. (just kidding- I love my kids.)

How about ideas on how to manage this?

 

[onecoolmama]

Go out on dates, take long lunches, Rendezvous Weekends.

For times we are home - lingerie, candlelight dinners, bubble baths, and massages.

 

[onecoolmama]

I forgot sexy emails and letters.

 

[katerkat]

Send him away every month. No, seriously, things are always much better when he comes home from a trip/deployment. I appreciate him a lot more, plus we get to work on our communication while he's gone through emails and infrequent phone calls.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

We make sure have have at least a few days a week where we do something together...maybe not "sizzle" type stuff , but something, whether it's taking a walk, going to a movie, or going somewhere together to do something we both enjoy.

 

[inaminute]

My DH's job has him working a lot of overtime and away more than usual. I'm self-employed and love what I do, so it's easy for me to get lost in work.

We take special care to reconnect every now and again. Whether it's going for a walk, an afternoon in the park, going to an outdoor concert--whatever strikes our fancy. We just take some time to be us. The best part is that, after 29 year of marriage, we still enjoy being together!

When we take time to reconnect, well...the sizzle takes care of itself!

 

[MouseClubMom]

Season hockey tickets! Guaranteed 40 dates a year. LOL

Of course it works only if you both enjoy hockey!!!

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Read self-help books on improving and strenghtening your relationships, watch tv shows about the same thing.

 

[Kteacher]

We try to take one "adult" vacation every year. Our kids are getting older ( 17, 14, and 12), so it's getting easier to do this. A sense of humor helps, too We just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, and have been together for 25 years

 

[sue1013]

It's hard to spend alone time with your spouse when you have little ones. My grandmother gave the best advice when I had my 1st baby. She told me to never let the children take over your relationship, always remember you two started this family and are the backbone of it. To keep the family strong you must keep your relationship alive to grow, because your children will and if you don't take care of yourselves you will have nothing left. If she could find alone time with 8 children I figured I should be able to.

 

[winniedapooh]

I dunno.....for us it is the little looks we still give each other! We hold hands all the time, if we are at the mall and for some reason we are walking without holding hands one of the kids will ask if we are mad! We do date nights and go out to eat to have adult conversation. I love spending time with my DH, love it when he works overtime and gets the next day off! It is the way he holds me and tells me he loves me. It is the way he calls me at work every day, knowing that most times I am with a client and will not pick up, and will leave me a love message and then sing a verse from; Carousel of Progress, A Dream is A Wish, or It's a Small World! He is the love of my life and my soul mate and when I think about our tomorrows it is always with him!

 

[lightningcoach]

A defibrillator and handcuffs.

 

[CamColt]

Originally posted by lightningcoach
A defibrillator and handcuffs.

Hmmm??? DH works for a company that makes defibrilators....

 

[lightningcoach]

Originally posted by CamColt
Hmmm??? DH works for a company that makes defibrilators....

There you go- BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!!!! ZAPPPPPP

 

[Lady Cluck]

DH and I have our 15th wedding anniversary next month, and we've known each other for over 20 years. We say "I love you" before going to sleep, and before leaving the house each morning. I listen to him rant about his job, and he tolerates me going on about my genealogy hobby.

It has taken some time, but he is slowly coming around to enjoying the trips to WDW every few years. We are in the mid west, and on a budget, but manage to save up for a stay at a Deluxe resort now and then.

I think it was our last trip to the Poly, Samoa, Pool View that won him over him

 

[Kitty 34]

We love planning big family trips together.

 

[danny1649]

37 years and what has helps us more than anything is dinner out with wine and dancing twice a week she goes out Tuesday's and I go on Fridays.

 

[buddy&wooz]

Always kiss good morning, good night, hello, see you later...

Laugh. Find something, anything, that makes you both laugh and watch it, play it, visit it, as often as you can.

Really listen to each other.

Don't be afraid to talk about the important stuff. Share everything, don't have his and hers, just have "ours".

Put your spouse's feelings above everyone else's, including parents, friends, the boss...

Remember that you have to work at a relationship, if you feel a spark is missing create one.

Convince him that WDW really is a magical place. Midway through our first visit there together with our kids, he was ready to plan our next one, without them, and we did it, 5 months later!

We've been together 25 years, married 18, and still feel like we're teenagers in love, so we must be doing something right .

 

[Mr.BsMom]

Originally posted by danny1649
37 years and what has helps us more than anything is dinner out with wine and dancing twice a week she goes out Tuesday's and I go on Fridays.

Too funny!!

My answer to the OP is simple: We genuinely like each other - he's my best friend - and we like spending time together. We have our bad days just like everyone else, but in the end, there's no one I would rather come home to and share my life with. Our relationship is "alive" because we're both alive! It gets better every day!

 

[Crankyshank]

We hold hands, spend time together. Make sure we have quality alone time. Try not to give each other alone time when we're stressed out. We have JBC anniversaries (just because) and we make a special effort to spend quality time enjoying each other.

And "testing" my new product line quarterly always helps