How do you handle MELTDOWNS!!!!

[Mama_Lee01]

I was wondering how you handle your kids meltdowns at Disney. My 3 year old is usually mild mannered but recently he been having full hissy fits when things don't go his way. We're going to Disney in a few weeks and I know the tears will come. I always tell him "There's a corner(time out) everywhere we go."

 

[TaliaB]

Phew...I thought I was the only one with a changing three year old.

Sadly, the corner doesn't work for mine. The only thing that decreases the meltdown frequencies are daily naps.

 

[mommy2_3]

mine dont even take naps anymore. i have a 2 & 3 yr old (they will be 3 & 4 when we go to disney) if my kids throw a fit we let them stand/sit there and cry. once they calm down i get down eye level and ask are you done yet? if they say yes, i say ok lets go if they say no we stay in that spot untill they are done with their hissy fits. i dont care if people look at me. the only way for my kids to stop is if we stop and let them work out their fits. if we keep going while they are throwing a fit they will throw a fit longer. this will be our first time to WDW so not sure if it will work here, i dont see why it wouldnt since it works when we are at the zoo, store or playdates.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

My DD is bipolar and meltdowns/tantrums/fits are unfortunately rather common for us. Of course, the primary things to do to avoid meltdowns is to make sure your child gets enough sleep and isn't hungry. But some other things that help when the meltdowns happen:

1) Move him as quickly as possible to a place where you are removed from other people and there is less noise and activity. Not only is that calming, but it also removes the aspect of seeking attention from other people.

2) Back away and give him space. As mommy2_3 mentioned, let them stand there and cry. As long as he isn't doing anything that would endanger himself or others, let him work through it. Avoid eye contact as well. If you interact with him, it may prolong the meltdown.

3) If he is acting in a way that might hurt himself or others, sit him in your lap, facing away from you, and wrap your arms around him in a bear hug so his arms are pinned and he can't flail about.

4) To avoid meltdowns in the first place, give warnings of transitions. I usually give my DD 5, 3, and 1 minute warnings. Also, before going into a store, be clear what you are intending to buy and how much you are willing to spend. There are a lot of shops for souvenirs at WDW. For our last trip, DD earned Disney Dollars to spend on stuff. That way it was her money to spend, but when it ran out, then it was gone.

 

[GrtWtNorth]

My dd was an angel at WDW at 6 months and TDR at 13 months. Now, nearly 24 months, we struggle to get through a trip to the grocery store. Be firm, be consistant, and be prepared to bail.

Try to enforce rules consistently, and with the same tone. Today's lectures included:
"You have to hold my hand in the parking lot. It's not an option. We can do this the hard way or the easy way." (Easy way, she holds my hand. Hard way, I grasp her hand firm enough she can't pull away. Today, she decided to hold my hand while we walked through the parking lot, and I allowed her to let go once we were on the sidewalk.)
"Don't touch that rack of sunglasses. You have a pair at home, you don't need more." (I took her hand and led her away from the display rack, despite her protests.)
"You have to stay with me. Don't wonder away, or I'll put you into the shopping cart (or buckle you in the stroller or carry you)." (She followed me through the produce section, but I carried her after she took off in the salad dressing aisle.)

DD has an excellent vocabulary and communicates very well. However, she has a hard time coping with different rules at home versus daycare versus Grandma's house. If we had different rules at WDW, she would be totally messed up.

If we were planning a trip to WDW with her, my wife and I would (or should) have a game-plan about what reaction is appropriate for what behavior, so that we're on the same page when it comes to discipline. And we wouldn't be afraid to leave the parks for a quiet spot in a nearby or our own resort room if necessary. As wonderful as Disney parks are, there's no downer like a wailing toddler at your feet.

FYI, these are my opinions about what works for my child. I don't like to be told how to parent, and I don't want anyone to think I've got the perfect answers.

 

[tweedlemom]

10 hours of sleep at night, mid-day break, shady benches w/hydrating fluids to soothe them if they loose it. Calming voice will relax them much sooner.

 

[Hoopfamily]

We've found that setting clear rules and even clearer (realistic) repercussions is king. Same thing at home, the beach, the movies. Our daughter understands that she is not to act like a wild animal. However, we give her a little more wiggle room on some things. Kids are kids. If you think Disney is big and overwhelming, think how they must view it.

To the Poster who lets her kids "work it out". Really??? You're gonna let your kid throw down a hissy fit until they work it out. I'm glad we're not going at the same time.

 

[jamie&Greg]

We've found that setting clear rules and even clearer (realistic) repercussions is king. Same thing at home, the beach, the movies. Our daughter understands that she is not to act like a wild animal. However, we give her a little more wiggle room on some things. Kids are kids. If you think Disney is big and overwhelming, think how they must view it.

To the Poster who lets her kids "work it out". Really??? You're gonna let your kid throw down a hissy fit until they work it out. I'm glad we're not going at the same time.

e k

I'm not the OP, but that is a very common method and works for some people, Especially if the child is to young to understand rules and punishment. Not all children are the same so not all parenting is the same. It isn’t nice to judge

 

[leebee]

"Protester" goes to the side until the fit ends. You can't make it happen! Try to think of why there was a meltdown; is it time to leave a park and find something more restful to do?

 

[kamik86]

mine dont even take naps anymore. i have a 2 & 3 yr old (they will be 3 & 4 when we go to disney) if my kids throw a fit we let them stand/sit there and cry. once they calm down i get down eye level and ask are you done yet? if they say yes, i say ok lets go if they say no we stay in that spot untill they are done with their hissy fits. i dont care if people look at me. the only way for my kids to stop is if we stop and let them work out their fits. if we keep going while they are throwing a fit they will throw a fit longer. this will be our first time to WDW so not sure if it will work here, i dont see why it wouldnt since it works when we are at the zoo, store or playdates.

Lol I don't have kids but that reminded me of when I worked at a summer camp and there was this girl that if she didn't get her own way would just pout. She would stand there not talk to you, cross her arms and just not do what you want. Some of the councelors had a huge problem with this thinking the whole group had to go to swim or arts and crafts together and would give in once all the other kids started to get upset about missing fun stuff. When I had her in my group and she did this I told the other councelors to bring the other girls to whatever fun activity they had next. Took out a book and sat down for a nice break... It was too short though she decided to behave and join the other girls in less then 5 min.

 

[imthatgirl]

At home, we just ignore them. they eventually give up when they realize you just don't care.

At Disney we compromise. It's their vacation too and I expect them to have just as much input as the adults. Many times we just give in to them while there...hell it's Disney they should feel the magic too. But to be completely honest I can't come up with a time my kids had a meltdown at Disney. Maybe because we basically follow their lead there.

 

[mom_2_K'Lynn]

My DD doesn't have meltdowns at home at all, but when we went to Disney it was hot and overwhelming, so the meltdowns happened. By day # 2 we realized that we let her sleep until she woke up the morning, no matter what time that would be and then go to the parks. About midday when it was at the hottest temperature we would head back to the hotel for a nap and if she napped she knew she would get to go swim for a little while. Then later about 4 or 5 we would head back to the parks for some rides and shows. She got so used to this schedule that it worked out perfectly for us always knowing when and what we were doing. Not sure if thats an option but if it is, deffinately give them time to relax.

I just say go with what the child is telling you. If they are complaining of the heat, saying they are hungary, or telling you they are tired, its really not worth the fight and in the long run won't be enjoyable for you!!!

Hope you have a great meltdown free trip!!!!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

To the Poster who lets her kids "work it out". Really??? You're gonna let your kid throw down a hissy fit until they work it out. I'm glad we're not going at the same time.

Do you have a method that will make a child go from meltdown to calm in 0.2 seconds? If so, I'd love to hear it. Otherwise, sometimes the only thing you can do is remove the child from the situation and keep them in "timeout" until they regain control of their emotions. Then once they are calm, they can rejoin the fun.

 

[MomRN]

It really depends on the cause of the breakdown. We have done the "work it out" method. We have done the nap method. We do a little bit of everything, so there is no set answer. Reminds me of the peds office and they asked what method of discipline we used and my answer was "all of the above" Sometimes timeout is appropriate, sometimes distraction is.

 

[robinsegg]

At home, we send a child to his/her room when throwing a fit. The child can then "work it out", but has no audience and no one else has to be bothered with it (we feel this prepares them for later life, when no one will spend time with them if they can't control themselves).
However, we also give them an "exercise", if you will, to help them get over this sort of thing: Lamaze-like relaxing breathing. If they can take a deep breath, sometimes it will break up the "fit energy" and help them to calm down faster.
One other thing that's important is communication. We allow our kids (now 9 & 7) to tell us they want anything . . . but they know not to expect us to buy it for them. This gives them the freedom to express their desires, knowing that when it's appropriate and possible we will fulfill certain ones.Whether it's a toy they see on TV, candy at the store, or going someplace special, they know they can tell us what they want. This took some time to put in place and to get it to work . . . but it's *really* worked for our family, and made communicative, happy children.
Now, we haven't started this with our 11mo yet , and we go when she'll be 17mo . . . so I don't know if that will work . . . but we may try

 

[MissChris]

Our daughter was 3.5 when we went to WDW last November and my only advice is: be prepared to leave. Mentally, emotionally prepared to just walk out if it is required.

We had warned our daughter ahead of time that if she was getting too tired and grouchy or if she was freaking out we would leave the park and not go back until the next day. We went to MK, had a nice couple of hours and then she started freaking out. We gave her a minute to calm herself (I personally think letting them "work it out" themselves for a few minutes is absolutely the best method, more attention to the fit just feeds it and draws it out) and warned her that if she couldn't calm down we were leaving. She didn't calm down. We left.

When she realized we were actually leaving the park she really lost it, total meltdown, but we went back to our campsite, gave her some lunch and a nap and stayed there the rest of the day. Later on we talked about what had happened and told her that any future freak outs would be met with the same result. She was an absolute angel for the rest of the week. She was cheerful, patient, and when she needed rest or food she asked for it instead of screaming. We sacrificed a day of fun which was disappointing for all of us but it totally paid off in the long run.

good luck.

 

[jensen]

I was wondering how you handle your kids meltdowns at Disney. My 3 year old is usually mild mannered but recently he been having full hissy fits when things don't go his way. We're going to Disney in a few weeks and I know the tears will come. I always tell him "There's a corner(time out) everywhere we go."

Big hugs!!! When mine were little and a meltdown occurred, I always knew it was because I had pushed them too far... because they were tired or hungry and they simply needed to stop and relax for a bit. So, I'd stop and give them lots of love and attention... and find a bench or table where we could relax for a few minutes.

 

[Hoopfamily]

Do you have a method that will make a child go from meltdown to calm in 0.2 seconds? If so, I'd love to hear it. Otherwise, sometimes the only thing you can do is remove the child from the situation and keep them in "timeout" until they regain control of their emotions. Then once they are calm, they can rejoin the fun.

As a matter of fact I do have a fool proof method, but I'll get to that in a second. Removing a child to time out is a great method, and completely different from letting them have their fit until they work it through.
Now back to my method it has just a few simple steps.
#1 BE A PARENT
-Control your kids at home, at the mall, at the beach, at Disney.
#2 BE A PARENT
-Take responsibility everyday for your kids behavior.
#3 BE A PARENT
- Teach your child / children the proper way to act not only at home, but in public.

If you follow these 3 easy steps, and take your job as a parent seriously you will drastically cut down on your kids misbehaving.

Now before someone out there loses their mind, I understand that some kids have issues that cannot be controlled. Those kids are the exception not the rule.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

As a matter of fact I do have a fool proof method, but I'll get to that in a second. Removing a child to time out is a great method, and completely different from letting them have their fit until they work it through.
Now back to my method it has just a few simple steps.
#1 BE A PARENT
-Control your kids at home, at the mall, at the beach, at Disney.
#2 BE A PARENT
-Take responsibility everyday for your kids behavior.
#3 BE A PARENT
- Teach your child / children the proper way to act not only at home, but in public.

If you follow these 3 easy steps, and take your job as a parent seriously you will drastically cut down on your kids misbehaving.

Now before someone out there loses their mind, I understand that some kids have issues that cannot be controlled. Those kids are the exception not the rule.

WOW! Judgmental much? I haven't seen one poster on here advocating NOT being a responsible parent. The question was how to deal with a meltdown if it occurs. The problems is meltdowns sometimes occur, especially when you are dealing with a 2 or 3 yo. Those of us who were saying "let them work through it" were not advocating letting a child throw a hissy fit in the middle of a crowd and not caring. But removing a child until they work through it is a responsible strategy. Of course the best strategy is to prevent the meltdown in the first place. And several people have posted those strategies as well. But the fact remains that there is NO foolproof method to calming a child in midst of a meltdown that works for every child. As I said, sometimes the only method is to remove them and have them work through it.

Yes, my child does have meltdowns in public from time to time. It does not mean by any stretch of the imagination that I have not taken my duties as a parent seriously and tried my best to teach her how to conduct herself in public. But she is a special needs child. You can add your little disclaimer to the end of your post, but remember, when you are witnessing a meltdown in public, you have no clue as to whether that child has special needs.

 

[Davids-Coco]

No matter what, even the best behaved, best fed, best sleeping 3 year old with the best parents will have melt downs. They are little social scientists finding their way in the world and still learning how things work. It takes time to learn to deal with things we do every day and a big piece of that is dealing with disappointment and not getting their way... heck I see adults who still don't handle this well!

OP, your best bet is to continue what you are doing and what is working for you at home. It's tough to know that a meltdown will happen and not knowing when... but as long as you are doing what you can to keep it from happening, you are doing your job. And honestly, if you are stressed out, trying your best and your child is having a meltdown, I am the first to pass by and say "hang in there, you are doing a great job!" We need to support each other as parents.