How do you handle meltdowns at the park?

[SerinaEmily]

I'm having nightmares about my kids behaving atrociously at Disney.
I am trying to mentally prepare myself to expect them to have meltdowns because I know they will happen - I just don't know how to deal with them in the parks or better yet prevent them.
We're going to be off schedule, off our normal routine, over stimulate, full of excitment, worn out, hot and tired .. so we're bound to have cranky moments ..

My 6 year old son is a grumbler and a sulker if he doesn't get what he wants - I can totally see him acting rude and unappreciative if we say no to some little request and then stompong around argueing about everything .. he knows this is unacceptable and at home he never gets away with it (for example at Walmart last week I abandoned the cart of school things we were getting for him when he wouldn't stop moaning about a $30 toy he wanted) But I can't just up and leave Disney and I don't want our memories to be tainted by a big blow up over his attitude about things - any suggestions?

Then my 4 year old daughter can be a treat as well ... I'm already coming prepared with lots of snacks because I've noticed her behavior gets worse the hungrier she is .. but that aside she gets very upset very easily .. like if she's anxious about something (ie rides or characters) she will just freak and start crying, I'm really trying hard to prepare her for the rides and stuff so she knows they are happy experiences - I know she'll love rides once she goes on them once cause she's a thrill seeker lol. But what if she's overtired and it's 10am and she goes into a tailspin about nothing like yesterday she had a meltdown over not being allowed to eat 3 kraft singles in a row.. at home she'd be told firmly to knock it off and eventually she'd chill out but what if she goes off on Main St? She seems to enjoy working herself up over things, and while ignoring her at home is effective how do we ignore her in front of a million people? Everyones going to think we're horrendous parents.
Ironically I'm least concerned about the 1 year old .. she's a piece of cake compared to the frustration the other two can cause us. They're not total brats though lol .. they're really great kids who just have their 'moments'

...


so .. how do you deal/prepare for these 'moments'? I can't be the only one who has meltdowns at Disney?

 

[can'twait]

Well, I'm sure you'll enjoy the "Have you ever had a shock?" and "Have You Ever Lost It?" threads. LOL!

I was wondering this same thing myself, as my kids are 5 & 7 and are behaving horridly at summer camp. I told the younger one that if he misbehaves we will take him to the park but he won't ride anything. Mean Mommy!

First, I would suggest getting the free planning dvd from Disney so they can see what it will be like. My kids are addicted to it and when they see the rides say "I wanna go on that!" Rock N Roller Coaster - yeah, right. I've already explained that the rides are all "Disney magic" and not as intense physically as most park rides, for the most part, and nothing will hurt you, so I hope they will not be freaked out.

I'd like to hear everyone else's suggestions too.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I've been known to put my kids in the naughty corner. If they meltdown, it is usually out of the park--for some reason, we are a pretty happy famliy in the parks. But when they get moody--we don't do anything. We may not leave the park--but we do take a timeout. We've had the same rules every trip disney or otherwise. A slight change to take place as the girls will have to use allowances to purchase their souvenirs. But what worked for us was not to depart from what we do at home.

Offer to take turns for picking rides in each land. This means that one can't pick small world one minute and the other picks splash mountain the next--everyone takes a turn including mom and dad. Have your fast pass plan in place--family vote for where to get a fast pass....and then go and get that pass.


It stinks having to travel with firecrackers--but the trip isn't the time to abandon the discipline practices you use at home. You just have to modify them. No you won't pack up and go home....but they can lose their pick at a ride, sit out of a ride (for baby swap rides, not a big deal--on a non-baby swap a parent is forced to sit out ).

Another thing--save purchasing souvenirs for the end of the day or end of the trip. Make a mickey incentive chart (you can ask a CM for mickey stickers that you can use). When they get so many--it's souvenir time.

 

[Goingtodisneyworld]

I too am anxious for answers!!! I can tell you last year we had a definite meltdown over Frozen Mickey treats, first mistake we let DDs 2 & 4 chose & of course they each wanted something different, so we bought 2, & someone wanted what the other had, they were messy, etc. I truly can’t remember the whole scenario, However the Biggest problem was my DH, whom I usually try to shield from these problems, he just wanted to die of embarrassment, & felt we should leave the park as to not bother everyone plus everyone was looking at us (ha ha)!!! Anyway I always try to give a sympathetic smile to others when I see them happening & explain to my husband they’re no biggie, let’s just get through it together as fast as we can!
P.S. I also agree with you it does help our little DDs are for the most part well behaved.
P.P.S. If you see us not having a Disney moment, please feel free to smile & maybe let my DH know everything will be OK )

One more thing ~ Now that I think about it, I really do think the basics are most important: enough sleep & PSs, so you are sure to have scheduled meals, esp for DH )!!!

 

[swilshire]

Our biggest meltdowns last year came from DH48 and DD18. The little ones were fine.

It WAS sad to watch the "we'll have fun if it kills us" interactions between families. We were AP holders, so left when we got tired. I'm sorry that we'll be on day passes this year and will think twice about leaving early.

Sheila

 

[rt2dz]

Generally--Different things will set off different kids. I think the best thing you can do is know the triggers (not enough sleep, hunger, etc) and try and avoid them. Next, try and stick to the same (effective) discipline strategies at WDW as at home. It might not be any fun, but have one parent leave the the one who can't control themselves and go sit it out for a while. What's the recommendation...one minute per year (age)?

Mainly, just follow the five basic rules: Let expectations be known, explain the consequences of noncompliance, warning, follow through, & BE CONSISTENT.

Specifically, maybe you could put your 6 yo in charge of his own spending money. If he has only a specific amount to spend, then a meltdown over not getting something might be less likely to happen. Be prepared for even a non-napping, non-stroller user at home at age 4 (or even 5 or 6) to get more worn down at WDW. You might want to look into renting a stroller (maybe even a double) while there if you see this happening.

Personally, in addition to some of the strategies above what we do while at WDW is put mellow things between highly stimulating activities. A train ride around MK or jumping into a show. We've also noticed that switching parks also works really well--or a sit down meal. If it gets really bad (and it hasn't ever happened) we're prepared to just leave for the day. We also DO NOT wake our kids up to get an early start at the parks. It isn't worth it if they are simply going to be in a bad mood all day. The pay off for us is just too little. We don't push our kids in other ways also. No matter where we are in line, if they start to act up about going on a ride (might be frightened or whatever) at least one of us takes that child out of line and sits it out. It's not fair to the people around us. We never make them see characters if they balk.

Other than my $.02, just grin and bear it. Most people with kids will get it. Those without probably will someday. And, thankfully, you'll probably never see those people again. It's just a moment. If they have them at home, they'll have them elsewhere. Heck, they might surprise you and be so in awe of WDW, that they'll be better behaved than usual.

Oh yeah, don't sink to their level. BE THE ADULT!! Yes, we all look when kids are acting up--want to make sure they are safe and not being kidnapped--but what makes most of us cringe, is the adult who is yelling and throwing a temper tantrum like a 4 year old.

 

[lovetheworld]

It will most likely happen....don't worry it happens with every family. You will have sympathy when you see another mom and dad dealing with the same issues and the melt downs. I have a DS 3yrs old and and 11mo DD they are generally pretty good and are used to travel and the parks. Some times finding a COOL, DARK ride help to calm them down. Also don't sweat the small stuff....pick and choose your battles. HAVE A GREAT TIME

 

[liamandcaili]

I think all parents traveling with young children have experienced melt-down of some sort. The key to avoiding the majority of them is to know your child. If your child behaves badly when tired, take frequent breaks, make sure you attend some of the sit-down shows and perhaps visit the pool or some of the Disney play areas. If your child is young, you might even take a longer walk to encourage a nap in the stroller.

If your child gets upset about not being able to buy toys, set a limit on souveniers. My children were each able to purchase one thing each day (with their own money that they had saved). This avoided lengthy stays in the shops and prevented arguments about what they needed to have.

My son is particularly sensitive to sugar. Disney is completely covered in sugar, but for the most part, I avoided the Mickey Bars and the doughnuts, and opted instead for the bowls of fruit found in the parks (even MK...in Liberty Square). That satisfied his need for a snack, but it didn't make him overly hyper.

If you need to get into the threats, which are prevalent, avoid the "Stop, or we'll go home!" What's so bad about home? Anyway, the children don't believe it. I just told my children that if they didn't behave, I would return them to the hotel, hire one of the hotel babysitters, and the rest of us would go have fun without them. I think I only had to say that once...a day I succombed and let them have doughnuts.

 

[SerinaEmily]

I think all parents traveling with young children have experienced melt-down of some sort. The key to avoiding the majority of them is to know your child. If your child behaves badly when tired, take frequent breaks, make sure you attend some of the sit-down shows and perhaps visit the pool or some of the Disney play areas. If your child is young, you might even take a longer walk to encourage a nap in the stroller.

If your child gets upset about not being able to buy toys, set a limit on souveniers. My children were each able to purchase one thing each day (with their own money that they had saved). This avoided lengthy stays in the shops and prevented arguments about what they needed to have.

My son is particularly sensitive to sugar. Disney is completely covered in sugar, but for the most part, I avoided the Mickey Bars and the doughnuts, and opted instead for the bowls of fruit found in the parks (even MK...in Liberty Square). That satisfied his need for a snack, but it didn't make him overly hyper.

If you need to get into the threats, which are prevalent, avoid the "Stop, or we'll go home!" What's so bad about home? Anyway, the children don't believe it. I just told my children that if they didn't behave, I would return them to the hotel, hire one of the hotel babysitters, and the rest of us would go have fun without them. I think I only had to say that once...a day I succombed and let them have doughnuts.

Another thing--save purchasing souvenirs for the end of the day or end of the trip. Make a mickey incentive chart (you can ask a CM for mickey stickers that you can use). When they get so many--it's souvenir time.

omg this is such an awesome idea!!!!! I haven't read the other responses but this is totally doable and will work! Great tip!!

 

[JMSMommy]

Well, DS6 is the one who has the most meltdowns at home and this will be his 3rd trip. He is actually pretty GREAT in the parks. Enough stimulation to keep his mind going, and he knows the rules are the same. We have sat out on a bench before with him. I can only remember ONE tantrum, he was 2.75 years old, it was the 3rd straight day in the parks, we had been basically opening and closing them (he had already outgrown naps) and as it was closing time we had to leave. DS6 did NOT want to leave and screamed in his stroller the whole way out, and sort of jumped/fell out to stop from leaving. Dh picked him up, carried him the rest of the way and he was asleep before we got to the car.

We plan "down" times in the parks each day. Sit down meals, the "slower" attractions like Hall of Presidents, Carousel of Progress, waiting for Indiana Jones, etc. In EPCOT we get a double stroller and let DS6 ride and "rest" some.

We have a rule, no souveniers until the last day and then ONLY the ones we could not get in DTD. They have a money limit, and DS6 knows how to "handle" his spending money as he saves up and pays for his own toys in the stores.

Sugar treats are a rarity at home and at Disney. With dinner ONLY. Snacks are fruits, veggies, or "meal" kind. The LAST day we might treat with an ice cream or something. We also pay CLOSE attention to red dye #40 in products (no fruit punches). This is one of DS6's triggers for hyperness.

Waiting in lines causes the most problems, we follow a plan, make FULL use of fastpass, and have ideas for that "line" if we hit it. Waiting at Fantasmic, or for Spectromagic, we eat and let the kids play games (cards, pictionary, I spy, and if dh and I get tired...gameboys).

We watch the "stimulation" they get too. If they are getting whiney or wound up, ear plugs are used (to cut the sound stimulations). We then put the 2 year old in the stroller and walk fast (soothing to him). DS6 we have him close his eyes and we sit on a bench and give him a BIG hug which helps him "release tension" since he hugs us back. Then we high-tail it to one of the darker, slower attractions.

 

[luv2go2disney]

I am so glad I ran across this thread. I too am very much dreading the "meltdown". My DD4 is very good at this and knows exactly how to push my buttons. I feel like we have tried everything with her and nothing seems to keep her under control...My DS3 is very good and kind of makes up for her craziness...I very much appreciate all of the pointers here and hope that my children and I don't meltdown. Actually I tolerate it better than my DH, he would be the one to say, "stop or we are going home" my DD is now smart enough to say "yeah right we are too far from home...". I need to make him read this thread. Hopefully we will be the ones with the VERY well behaved kids, since they are enjoying WDW so much!!! I am not holding my breath!!! Sorry to highjack your thread. It is just good to hear someone else dreading this as much as I am!!!!

 

[Junebugwv]

I guess I'll be one to encourage you. Take things easy and enjoy the vacation. Focus on the enjoyment of being at WDW with your loved ones. I've taken a lot of Disney trips in the last 10 years with DH and all 5 kids as well as some trips with married DD and our 2 younger DS. From the plane ride to the final day, the two DS have never had a meltdown or any problems. If you are not having problems with them now, you probably won't on vacation.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Actually I tolerate it better than my DH, he would be the one to say, "stop or we are going home" my DD is now smart enough to say "yeah right we are too far from home...".

Perhaps "or we are going back to the hotel room/condo".



(We live close enough to home--so the going home tactic works if necessary ).

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I guess I'll be one to encourage you. Take things easy and enjoy the vacation. Focus on the enjoyment of being at WDW with your loved ones. I've taken a lot of Disney trips in the last 10 years with DH and all 5 kids as well as some trips with married DD and our 2 younger DS. From the plane ride to the final day, the two DS have never had a meltdown or any problems. If you are not having problems with them now, you probably won't on vacation.

I don't think anybody was being discouraging. I read that OP expects to have the problems b/c she does have the problems at home (or at least on previous vacations). She looked for tips--and we provided them.

 

[SerinaEmily]

lol - I also like hearing that I'm not the only one dreading the meltdowns .. it's good to know others are in the same boat .. thanks so much for all the tips and encouragment

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

lol - I also like hearing that I'm not the only one dreading the meltdowns .. it's good to know others are in the same boat .. thanks so much for all the tips and encouragment

On the other hand--if the inevitable happens..have a camera ready.

It will be great for the future bride or groom of your kids .

With a digital camera--you can have an instant reminder--"behave like this and......(consequence)".

Nothing says Disney like a temper tantrum .

I had my first, last, and only one at age 12. I was in Frontierland.

 

[SerinaEmily]

I had my first, last, and only one at age 12. I was in Frontierland.

details please lol - I need a good laugh

 

[wtpclc]

I hope that you do not mind me jumping in. I am married with no children. I know that I have seen children having meltdowns while at WDW. None particularly stick out, though. Even without children, I realize what an emotional roller coaster WDW can be. That's how it is. I appreciate your concern about disturbing others, but yuo really shouldn't worry about us. Worry about what will make you and your family have the best trip. You have gotten great ideas here. With the concern you are already showing, I am sure that you will be fine.

Just a note, the worst behavior I ever saw at WDW was from a parent. We were riding a bus around 9 pm and there was a little boy (6 - 8) who said, "Daddy, I'm tired." (Not whining, just a statement) Dad's response was, "For $100 a day, you'd better not be tired!" That was awful behavior!

From what I have read here, you all seem to have it together. Enjoy your trips!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

details please lol - I need a good laugh

Okay well technically not the first--it might have been the first or second of the week--the ONLY time at Disney.

I think I was 12---about 6th grade--definitely too old for tantrums. No idea what it was for either. But no that I got so upset that I ran off and hid in a bathroom. No idea how anybody found me, but they did. Now it wasn't anything exciting---nothing like a younger kid would do (no fists pounding on the floor action).

The other time that week was at Old Town. We were at a restaurant--no idea what the heck my problem was--onset of puberty I will blame. That was more of a classic tantrum and invovled throwing a plastic spoon on the floor and stomping it until it broke.

Have fun laughing .



I hope I don't get a payback with my kids .

 

[KristiKelly]

I haven't read all of the responses but I will throw in my 2¢, for what it's worth . Anyway, we've taken our kids since they were each 2-1/2, now 5 & 8 (and baby DD 2 mo, she's too young to beg for stuff but give her time). Anyway, we give our kids their own money. They can spend it all the 1st day, a little each day or wait until the last day but that is all they get (unless they manage to talk Daddy into a little something extra - he's such a sucker!!!). They have learned to wait a few days and get what they REALLY want. Last year DD had to have one of the princess hats, turned out to be hot and hard to keep on her head. Also, we always tell them that Mickey Mouse, Belle, or whoever doesn't like it if they whine and they might not let us come back, yes, I lie . I would suggest stopping in the afternoon for a nap or a swim to relax them. I also have a child, DS, who gets a little crazy when he gets too hungry, keep snacks available, I try to keep crackers or granola bars in the backpack.