How do you handle insecurity?

[Pezalicious]

I gained a lot of weight over the last 8 months. I was in a long distance relationship, so I'd work at my desk all day and then come home at night, grabbing food along the way, and talk with my boyfriend all night and we'd play games together or watch TV together, because that's all we could do (we now live together). It was worth it, but all that inactivity really packed on the weight. I'd say I have at least 60 pounds to lose, probably more if I want to get thinner and healthier than I was before.

Because I gained weight so fast, I just don't feel like myself anymore, and that makes it really hard to get motivated. I was going to join Curves around a month ago, but I hurt my leg, so I couldn't go (it's just now getting to normal, so I'll start going on walks this weekend).

My main issue right now, other than getting off my deriere, is my confidence. I compare myself to other woman, and of course all I notice are those who are prettier and thinner. I hate that I do that to myself, but I can't seem to break the habit.

And now it's even worse, because I notice when my boyfriend notices other women. I know he loves me very much and that he accepts me no matter what I look like, but I can't help but feel terrible every time I see him looking at another woman, no matter how discreetly he does it. And it makes me feel bad that I know he occasionally looks at internet sites with models on them (not pornography). Also, his ex-fiance (from 10 years ago) weighed under 100 pounds, so that makes it even worse in my head.

I just don't know how to not let that stuff bother me or how to stop comparing myself to others. Has anyone else gone through this before? I feel like I've got the high school mentality all over again, but the big 3-0 is just around the corner.

 

[HERSEY]

We all have times when you think your not worth the attention. You do have to believe you are worth it. Start with the small stuff get yourself a haircut or a makeup lesson at one of the dept. store by you. That may help getting you jump started.

If you are having other issues tiredness and such, talk to your doctor. maybe your thyroid needs to be checked out.

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

It's definitely hard but at some point you need to just accept how you are now and that today you are going to do something about it. After I had my son nearly two years ago I lost all my pregnancy weight but had a super hard time adjusting to motherhood and gained all that weight back and I was heavy to begin with. I would avoid friends I hadn't seen in a while b/c I was so ashamed to be that heavy. Then one day I said enough is enough - the only one losing out was me by not seeing my friends and feeling so depressed. I joined the monthly exercise challenges here and have never looked back. So far I've lost 14 pounds which may not seem like a lot but I feel great and b/c of all the working out I'm even thinner than the scale seems b/c muscle weighs more than fat. I'm now wearing pants I haven't worn in over a year and they fit better than they did when I bought them.

You can lose weight and you are so worth it. My husband loved me thinner and heavier b/c he loves me and not what I weigh. The hardest thing to do is to commit to get started. I started with Leslie Sansone's walking tapes and would alternate 2 miles and 1 mile every other day. Start there and then work on adding some strength training and upping your miles. Believe me once you get started you'll feel so much better b/c you'll know you're doing something about your weight. Good luck!

Laurie

 

[ohMom]

to the WISH board and

i think your journey begins with accepting, forgiving and beginning to love yourself. you are right, you can't compare yourself to others, there will always be someone thinner, someone stronger, someone younger, somone this and that...............but you are uniquely you. Your boyfriend choose you. Allow yourself to be joyful in your life together.

you teach people how to treat you....have you heard that saying? that means if you treat yourself as valuable, worthy, lovable...that's how others see you and respond in the same manner. If you dog yourself, well, other's pick up on that too.

you are a gift and worthy of a happy joyful life. accept it

you found a wonderful place to share in your journey to make your lifestyle healthier which in turn will result in losing weight, getting leaner, feeling good about yourself! i'm so glad you are here b/c it takes each of us to support each other!!