How do you feel about this?

[katytrott]

This thread reminded me of a comedy programe we have here in the UK called Little Britain. It can be quite extreme and one series of characters shows a man living his life eg working, exercising planning his wedding, getting married, but with his mum always nearby. Every now and then he would yell "Bitty" and lift up his mums shirt and latch on. On a couple of episodes, you see him him with his Grandma going "Grandma bitty" and latching on to his grandma. It is so foul to watch (the rest of the programme is not much better). What it is doing is trying to make something that is in society that is not popular and take it to the extreme, oh, and make it funny!
That shows the attitude in the UK to BF in public.

It is attitudes like this that 1)keep breastfeeding rates low and 2)keep the breast as a sexual object.

I just wanted to add two comments to this quote. When I was doing my nurse training I spent some time with Midwife. She told me about a lot of women who, when asked "will you breast or bottle feed?" were totaly blank about breast feeding and had no idea that women did that. How sad.

I don't, however, see that it is wrong to have the breast as a sexual object at all. Why shouldn't it be if that is what suits a couple? I gave up bf when my son was 3 months old. I would have loved to continue a lot longer, but my Dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer soon after he was born and had an op soon after and I wanted to be in the forefront of his nursing care. I just couldn't manage bf at the same time and with all the stress I was under (hubby was also going through nervous breakdown and we were in the middle of a major extension on our house, tough time!) it was best to give up. I found once I had gone on to formula a weight had lifted from me as there was one less thing to worry about.
Anyway my point is I really don't think I could be close in the bedroom department with my hubby if I was still bf. I know that sounds totaly daft, but I can't change that. There are times when the breast is a sexual object and I was squeemish at the thought of them being used for both!! That is just my own hangup, however, but breasts will always be sexual and there is nothing wrong with that as well as them being functional.
You are all right about animals using them, but we are human. We are fundamentally different to animals, we take pleasure in sexual activity.

I hope with our next child things will be completely different (and for my hubbies sake I don't have any hang ups )

 

[disneynewbee]

I'll probably get flamed for this but I'm going to say it anyway. I noticed alot of bf moms saying they only give there older children the breast in the morning and at night and when upset or injured. I don't really understand the whole upset and injured thing. My kids have been bottlefed and I have no problem with breastfeeding but I think it's weird to give kids food or drink to comfort them when hurt or upset. I don't offer my kids a bottle when hurt I pick them up and hug them and kiss there boo boos. I don't think it's wise to teach kids to turn to food when upset or hurt. I also think breastfeeding at 4yo is a little much but that is just my opinion. Just because I would not breastfeed a 4yo doesn't mean others don't have the right to wherever they want. Different strokes for different folks.

 

[Zoemakes5]

You know, I usually refrain from even looking at these kinds of threads. I know the OP was truly looking for an opinion...would people be offended/put off by NIP for her young toddler and baby, as it's a bit uncomfortable. But, typically, if someone even indicates boundaries or tries to explain that there are situations where it does make them uncomfortable, they are a huge target.
I'm so very sorry, but breasts and peni$es and ******l areas are "private parts". While I don't care whatsoever whether someone is NIP, I would prefer not to see their breasts. I would prefer my children don't see thier breasts. While it is most definitely natural, there are alot of other body parts that are not appropriate to expose when using them for their natural purposes. Whether that is sexual activity, or urinating, or inserting a tampon, or whatever. In most instances, even though the other activities are natural and part of their purpose, they are done behind closed doors or in areas where one would expect it (like at a urinal in a men's restroom, no closed doors, but you know what you're getting.) Or in a bedroom. (BtW, Please don't tell my DH that my breasts aren't sexual in nature at all, they might get less attention, and I don't like that idea at all!)
Now, I'm totally not advocating that breastfeeding needs to be done behind closed doors. Not even close to that. But, I do think it's rude to assume that your viewpoint is the only right one, that everyone else is wrong to even consider that someone who is NIP should take some slight precautions to respond to reasonable and valid concerns of other people. And, that simply by stating, to sum it up "it's natural, stupid" that it makes it all okay.
To the OP, I still say that for the most part, you should have no problems with anyone NIP, particularly if you're even the slightest bit discrete.

 

[Brian Noble]

How do you feel about public breast feeding in WDW? Babies and toddlers? My DD will be 14 months on our trip and still nursing. For the record I am extremely discreet, 90% of people wouldn't even notice I was feeding, and I usually have her under a net poncho when she's feeding to stop her from being distracted and to stop others from feeling uncomfortable.

Just one man's opinion (worth even less than usual given the subject matter), but I think this is perfectly reasonable. You are making an effort to be discreet, which isn't required, but will be appreciated by many.

 

[4theloveofdisney]

I have NEVER seen a bf 4 year old "clamouring and making a scene trying to pull mom's boo-bah out". Unless you've experienced bf a 4 year old (and I have), then please leave ridiculous comments like this out of this (almost) respectful bf thread. A 4 year old can wait to bf, and usually prefers to bf in private. I don't know where people get this idea that a child over the age of 15 months runs over to mom, pulls her shirt off, unhooks her bra, and demands to nurse. Yes, a young toddler will sometimes get demanding to nurse if it's naptime or there's been a problem (like getting hurt). But a 4 year old who still nurses has learned the give-and-take of nursing and will not assault mom at any given moment just so he can nurse!

Mary

Why is that such a ridiculous comment? Maybe your child didn't/doesn't do this but that doesn't mean that other children do not.

 

[robinb]

I'll probably get flamed for this but I'm going to say it anyway. I noticed alot of bf moms saying they only give there older children the breast in the morning and at night and when upset or injured. I don't really understand the whole upset and injured thing. My kids have been bottlefed and I have no problem with breastfeeding but I think it's weird to give kids food or drink to comfort them when hurt or upset. I don't offer my kids a bottle when hurt I pick them up and hug them and kiss there boo boos. I don't think it's wise to teach kids to turn to food when upset or hurt.

I'm not going to flame you, but I think there is something that you are missing. Nursing is not only for food. Everytime a child is nursed she is comforted by the physical proximity and touch of the mother. For those of us who nursed into toddler-hood it natural to offer a breast to a crying child. It's not a food thing ... I don't think I was even producing milk in the last few months. It's pure comfort for the child in a way that the child knows. And it works! A little nursing and a little cuddle and the kid goes on their way.

FWIW, I don't want to make it seem that formula-fed children are not held, cuddled or comforted by their parents when they are fed. Of course they are!

 

[BamaFan121s]

I didnt nurse either of my girls, b/c it just didnt feel right to me I realize that that is my problem, and I dont think it is wrong to breast feed, just wrong for me. I dont think it's wrong to b/f in public, as long as you are trying to be discreet A blanket, or something over your shoulder should give ample privacy. I dont see how any one could object to nursing as long as mommy's breast isnt on display for all the world to see.

I completely agree with you. I completely understand the need and freedom of bf. Can it be done distastefully? Of course...ANYTHING can be done distastefully. Do I personally want my 5 y.o dd observing someone else bf? No, but that is my choice and if the situation arises, we will move...we have our right to make that decision just as much as you have yours. Is it a natural part of life, yes, but I will choose when to explain that to my dd.
I didn't breast feed my daughter by choice, so sorry, I can't "put myself in your shoes" or "see things another way," but I respect anyone's right to choose to bf if they want. Do I think it is OK to sit out in the public, in view of everyone almost completely exposed? Heck no. A breast exposed would be frowned on generally...a child attached, IMO, does not alter the situation that much. But you know what...with the exception of ONCE, I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT HAPPEN. If I did, I'd respect your rights and just look the other way.

 

[TinyLolitaBunny]

I've just popped across from the Families board where I noticed a rather OTT breast v bottle debate going on so firstly can I ask that this doesn't turn into an argument, I'm just after some opinions

How do you feel about public breast feeding in WDW? Babies and toddlers? My DD will be 14 months on our trip and still nursing. For the record I am extremely discreet, 90% of people wouldn't even notice I was feeding, and I usually have her under a net poncho when she's feeding to stop her from being distracted and to stop others from feeling uncomfortable.

So my question is this - would it offend you to see older children nursing in WDW? Would you rather mums stuck to the nursing stations, or is it okay for us to feed wherever? I don't want to offend anyone or make people uncomfortable - and I never feed in public in the UK because BF in public is virtually unheard of except amongst the brave and if anyone fed a toddler in public where I live it would certainly cause a huge fuss...

Well imho I think you need to be discreet, since WDW is full of all different people from all different backgrounds and ideas. But there's no reason it will offend anyone if you're discreet. Some people will allow everything to be seen and not be discreet and that's what bothers or "offends" some people. Again this is my opinion but if I don't want to see your breast when you arent breast feeding, I dont want to see it when you are... However like you said, you are discreet so you won't bother anyone Im sure. Its just that some people arent. I think that's what the debate is about.

 

[frayedend]

I haven't read all the posts here, but thought I'd give the opinion of an outsider (a guy) who has seen it and isn't really sure what to think.

First of all, yes it's natural and that's what they are there for. I know. My private part is there for me to go pee but I don't think it's okay for me to pee anywhere I want no matter how discretely. Even if I had a container so sanitary reasons wouldn't count, it would not be okay. I know that's a bit of a stretch but my point is that it makes some people uncomfortable so why do it, if there are other options available.

However, having had a screaming baby I can understand if the baby center is not near you, so then I guess I'd say go ahead. Ya know? They should definitely provide more nice places for that. Perhaps more family rest rooms (not bathrooms, but nice rest areas).

But the idea of it being okay anywhere is ridiculous. What I mean is that I saw there was a protest of Victorias Secret because they didn't let a woman breast feed (or they offered her the dressing room and she was upset by this and they should have provided her with a place to feed). My basic idea on that was... well I don't think if I walked in with my 5 year old and his Happy Meal and demanded that they provide me with a place to feed him that they should provide it. Would any parenting rights group protest a retail store because they don't allow people to eat lunch there?

Lastly, if you think bf a toddler/preschooler is okay and you don't feel uncomfortable with it, then I suggest you show this by calling them what they are. What I mean is 39 month old is a 3 YEAR OLD! I don't know anyone and haven't ever heard any parent call a kid a "39" month old or "37 month old" or anything other than a 3 year old unless it was in the context of a BF discussion. That tells me that they are trying to justify it and are acting like a 3 year old is still a baby. (I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm not qualified. It is weird for me to see. I'm just saying, call it what it is)

 

[CleveRocks]

Ok, sorry to go a little off-topic here, but numerous posters have decried the vulgar thought of women's breasts being "sexual objects" ... I hate to be a biology geek here, but from a biological perspective, a human female's breasts have the dual role of feeding the young AND attracting mates. This is not a societal construct, it's a biological one.

PLEASE, allow me to explain ....

Humans are the only animals who walk upright 100% of the time (as opposed to walking on all fours, walking on knuckles, etc.). All other female mammals' "breasts" are not in any way bulbous or protruding or SHOWING to others -- there are for the most part just prominently protruding nipples that the suckling child needs, and the cub/kitten/pup/foal tends to find it just fine by feel rather than by sight. No other mammal has noticable breast tissue (other than perhaps nipples) when not nursing or preparing for nursing. Humans are the only ones. There must be a reason for that, right?

Now, I'll tread lightly here, I don't want to get gross or offend or anything, but we've all been to the zoo (or AK), right? We've all seen female apes and some female 4-legged creatures who have some VERY brightly colored and prominent, um ... body parts when viewed from the rear. These body parts, such as they are, serve as a visual sexual attractant for potential mates.

Because humans don't walk bent over at the waist, it would be biologically "inefficient" to have female bodies that spend a lot of valuable resources to produce body parts that generally are not visible during normal activity (even while unclothed). In other words, if a human woman's "parts" looked like an ape's, it would be a waste of biological resources because that part of the body would never been seen while walking or standing even if the woman was nude. Similarly, a female gorilla's or chimpanzee's (or zebra's) hypothetical prominent and protruding breasts would not be noticed by males of the species because the chest area of those animals is not normally visible for any length of time.

At least one gender of all animals have some visual physical sexual attractant. Over time, the human female body produced larger breasts (relative to a typical man's) because that part of the body is prominently seen when humans walk upright. Biologically speaking, there is no need for the extra fat tissue that makes breasts protrude from the chest -- a rooting baby can, by instinct, find and latch onto a nipple without all the extra breast tissue. I've never heard, from a biological perspective, that babies of "larger" women have an easier time nursing and sustaining nursing than babies of who have almost no "extra" breast tissue.

Regardless of what our society has or has not done to make any person or part of a person a sexual object, there ARE sexual attractants even in the human world. But because we have also been gifted with bigger brains and greater intelligence than the rest of the animal world, we don't have to be 100% beholden to anatomy, instincts or unconscious drives.

 

[Hixski]

Lastly, if you think bf a toddler/preschooler is okay and you don't feel uncomfortable with it, then I suggest you show this by calling them what they are. What I mean is 39 month old is a 3 YEAR OLD! I don't know anyone and haven't ever heard any parent call a kid a "39" month old or "37 month old" or anything other than a 3 year old unless it was in the context of a BF discussion. That tells me that they are trying to justify it and are acting like a 3 year old is still a baby. (I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm not qualified. It is weird for me to see. I'm just saying, call it what it is)

I quoted only the last part of your post as that is what I think is funny.

There was an episode of Desperate Housewifes last year on breastfeeding. A women was new in an office and happy they had onsite daycare. She said she still bf her child. Well the child turns out to be 5 or 6 and all the men in the office were freaking out. One of the housewifes decided to take matters in her own hands. She fed the child chocolate milk when the mother was not looking. Of course then the child did not want to bf anymore. The rather humerous part was that the mother was doing it for herself. Kept her metabolism high, did not have to go to the gym, etc. She was the one comforted not the child.

I had said earlier that I had a neighbor that bf all her kids till they were 7 or 8. I have to wonder just who she was doing it for. Them or her????

 

[Bbgrizzle]

I quoted only the last part of your post as that is what I think is funny.

There was an episode of Desperate Housewifes last year on breastfeeding. A women was new in an office and happy they had onsite daycare. She said she still bf her child. Well the child turns out to be 5 or 6 and all the men in the office were freaking out. One of the housewifes decided to take matters in her own hands. She fed the child chocolate milk when the mother was not looking. Of course then the child did not want to bf anymore. The rather humerous part was that the mother was doing it for herself. Kept her metabolism high, did not have to go to the gym, etc. She was the one comforted not the child.

I had said earlier that I had a neighbor that bf all her kids till they were 7 or 8. I have to wonder just who she was doing it for. Them or her????

Thank you for putting into words exactly what I am thinking. I'm not against breast feeding at all--I breast feed both my babies. But BFing a child past a year (or at the most, 18 months) is very weird to me. And it usually is done for selfish reasons, i.e., it's too hard to put the effort into weaning them, keeps metabolism up, it feels good, it's comforting, birth control, etc. Yep, I'll admit it--if I saw someone BFing a 3-year-old, I would never say anything to them, but I'd sure be thinking it!

 

[gbanton]

Eric ... this really cracked me up .

FWIW, most pre-schoolers who still nurse do not nurse in public. They are done with breastmilk as nutrition and they nurse for other reasons. My DD was down to just comfort nursing (morning, bedtime and when she was upset/hurt) for probably the final 6 months that she nursed. I have never seen a 6 or 7 year old nurse and I live in one of the most progressive, crunchy, granola-eating cities in the nation and I live on the "crunchiest" East side of town. I have seen older preschoolers nurse (4-5 year olds) but those children had infant siblings. The older kids wanted to be close to their moms after the baby was done eating and the mom didn't mind.

In this situation the mom should "mind" as well as encourage her child to be more independant. There is nothing wrong with breast-feeding, and nothing wrong with loving your child, but there are more appropriate ways to "bond" at that age.

 

[Bird-Mom]

I quoted only the last part of your post as that is what I think is funny.

There was an episode of Desperate Housewifes last year on breastfeeding. A women was new in an office and happy they had onsite daycare. She said she still bf her child. Well the child turns out to be 5 or 6 and all the men in the office were freaking out. One of the housewifes decided to take matters in her own hands. She fed the child chocolate milk when the mother was not looking. Of course then the child did not want to bf anymore. The rather humerous part was that the mother was doing it for herself. Kept her metabolism high, did not have to go to the gym, etc. She was the one comforted not the child.

I had said earlier that I had a neighbor that bf all her kids till they were 7 or 8. I have to wonder just who she was doing it for. Them or her????

The media does not often take very kindly to breastfeeding. I do not watch Desparate Housewives, but what I gather from the show, it isn't a family show and wouldn't be portraying breastfeeding in a postive light. I would be careful not to confuse a tv show with reality.

You cannot force a child to nurse. If they don't want to, they aren't going to. My older daughter weaned at age 2 when I was 6 months pregnant as I was very sore and my milk had dried up several months earlier (as best as I could tell). I would offer the breast, and she would refuse. She would let me know when she wanted it or not, even when I offered at her usual times. It is very rare that children nurse to 8 years old. All of my friends IRL are extended nursers, and most of their children are done by 3.5-4. I know one child who is nursing at age 5-in the morning only.

If you are interested in longer nursing, look for the research of Kathryn Dettwyer who studied the natural age of weaning..

Also, at some point nursing will decrease and food intake will increase. At that shift, the mama's metabolism often changes and we don't need the extra calories and lose the weight loss benefit.

 

[gbanton]

I'm not going to flame you, but I think there is something that you are missing. Nursing is not only for food. Everytime a child is nursed she is comforted by the physical proximity and touch of the mother. For those of us who nursed into toddler-hood it natural to offer a breast to a crying child. It's not a food thing ... I don't think I was even producing milk in the last few months. It's pure comfort for the child in a way that the child knows. And it works! A little nursing and a little cuddle and the kid goes on their way.

FWIW, I don't want to make it seem that formula-fed children are not held, cuddled or comforted by their parents when they are fed. Of course they are!

What is the purpose of calling it "nursing" then? It you were not producing any milk, then why didn't you just hold your child and hug them? These arguements can sometime be downright silly. Additionally as I commented before our kids need to learn at a certain point to comfort themselves as well and not "in a way that the child knows." I know that they are the exception, but I have seen plenty of these kids and too the observer you would call them "brats".

 

[Bird-Mom]

First of all, yes it's natural and that's what they are there for. I know. My private part is there for me to go pee but I don't think it's okay for me to pee anywhere I want no matter how discretely. Even if I had a container so sanitary reasons wouldn't count, it would not be okay. I know that's a bit of a stretch but my point is that it makes some people uncomfortable so why do it, if there are other options available.

But the idea of it being okay anywhere is ridiculous. What I mean is that I saw there was a protest of Victorias Secret because they didn't let a woman breast feed (or they offered her the dressing room and she was upset by this and they should have provided her with a place to feed). My basic idea on that was... well I don't think if I walked in with my 5 year old and his Happy Meal and demanded that they provide me with a place to feed him that they should provide it. Would any parenting rights group protest a retail store because they don't allow people to eat lunch there?

I just need to say again that comparing urination to caring for your baby is ridiculous.

I also wanted to make clear what happened with the Victoria's Secret protest. In 2 separate incidents, women asked for a dressing room to nurse. They were denied, so they sat down to nurse their babies. They were asked to leave b/c the store personnel was afraid that the patrons of the store would be offended. Can you see the irony? VS sells skin. Nursing shows far less skin than anything you buy in VS.

 

[Hixski]

The media does not often take very kindly to breastfeeding. I do not watch Desparate Housewives, but what I gather from the show, it isn't a family show and wouldn't be portraying breastfeeding in a postive light. I would be careful not to confuse a tv show with reality.

You cannot force a child to nurse. If they don't want to, they aren't going to. My older daughter weaned at age 2 when I was 6 months pregnant as I was very sore and my milk had dried up several months earlier (as best as I could tell). I would offer the breast, and she would refuse. She would let me know when she wanted it or not, even when I offered at her usual times. It is very rare that children nurse to 8 years old. All of my friends IRL are extended nursers, and most of their children are done by 3.5-4. I know one child who is nursing at age 5-in the morning only.

If you are interested in longer nursing, look for the research of Kathryn Dettwyer who studied the natural age of weaning..

Also, at some point nursing will decrease and food intake will increase. At that shift, the mama's metabolism often changes and we don't need the extra calories and lose the weight loss benefit.

Good grief...I am 46 years old. I would like to think I would not confuse a tv show with reality. I said I thought it was humerous. The reason for that was because I have the neighbor that did bf till the kids were 8.

I still say if you are bf a child till they are 7 or 8 I do not think you are probably just doing it for the child.

 

[kvogel11202]

OK, I really had no problem with discreet BF in public- blanket over the shoulder ect, I don't need to see your breast hanging out. But I have seen several posts here where women have mention that they keep offering the breast after the milk had dried up? seriously? Because that seems very wrong to me. If the child isn't getting any milk, doesn' t that mean it is no longer a matter of "nutrition choice" and now a matter of a child performing a sexual act? If I took someone elses baby and hooked it on my breast - wouldn't I go to jail? I have 3 kids, so I'm not totally ignorant of the whole matter, I just don't understand where you would be coming from? No milk should be a sign that it's time to stop. And there are other ways of offering comfort than latching the kids onto your breast, so that doesn't seem a real valid reason? I bottle fed, and still managed to comfort my children.

 

[frayedend]

I just need to say again that comparing urination to caring for your baby is ridiculous.

I also wanted to make clear what happened with the Victoria's Secret protest. In 2 separate incidents, women asked for a dressing room to nurse. They were denied, so they sat down to nurse their babies. They were asked to leave b/c the store personnel was afraid that the patrons of the store would be offended. Can you see the irony? VS sells skin. Nursing shows far less skin than anything you buy in VS.

Yes, I think I recall that now. But they said that the dressing rooms were needed for people to try on clothes. I think they have that right. Why would they give up that dressing room and make it not available to customers who want to try on clothes. Why would a parent (other than to cause a fuss or make a point) want to feed a baby in a retail store? Every mall I have been in has a baby feeding area, parent area or a nice place right in the food court. I'm not saying that they shouldn't do it in public, just not in a retail store. They have no more right to ask for a dressing room to BF than I have to ask for one to sit down and feed my kids a happy meal. Give me one reason they should?


As for my peeing comparison. I wasn't really comparing the two so much as saying that the argument that "that's what breasts are for" doesn't hold water (or milk ) for me.

 

[faindrops27]

We had a neighbor that bf all of her girls till they were 7 or 8. She was actually bf all of them at the same time. She was probably the most vocal too about doing it anywhere and everywhere. One got done and the next one latched on. And then the next......

How disgusting!! This is beyond sick. And, I almost heaved. That sounds not right at all. That lady was a sicko!! I nursed my second child 14 months. The other, 18 months!! My goodness that lady needed to be locked up!!