How do you feel about child harness?

[robinb]

So I need to ask, what gives anyone the right to make that judgement call on anyone? I also think that saying someone who is saying "better safe that sorry" is restricting independence is a huge assumption.

It's my opinion, that's all. Sorry if I made you angry.

This is Disney World. The biggest tourist destination in the WORLD! This isn't your local strip mall. This is overwhelming for both parents and the kids. Kids are kids, they aren't adults, they are completely and easily distractible (as are adults) and what was ingrained in them before can easily be forgotten. They aren't machines and their brains are not like hearts and lungs that automatically do something w/o thinking. Sometimes, they simply do. not. think. I wouldn't fault anyone for taking more extreme measures in an environment such as Disney. It's NOT normal life.

Meh. My kid was a runner and WDW was a cinch compared to somewhere like Lyon, France where it was difficult for an adult to tell the difference between the sidewalk and the street, not to mention a 2-year old. NO, Walt Disney World not normal life. It's actually safer.

 

[ppony]

It's my opinion, that's all. Sorry if I made you angry.

Meh. My kid was a runner and WDW was a cinch compared to somewhere like Lyon, France where it was difficult for an adult to tell the difference between the sidewalk and the street, not to mention a 2-year old. NO, Walt Disney World not normal life. It's actually safer.

I can appreciate that and I appreciate your response. I understand that's your opinion, everyone is entitled to them. But don't you think an opinion is better based on knowledge rather than what can and often does amount to uneducated assumption? The reason I know that is it happens to me and my son daily. My point is you don't know. Does it feel better to judge someone? Maybe that's the crux of the issue. People are largely h*ll bent on judging others on things that really don't concern them. I'm not wagging a finger at people that I'm holier than thou because I've been guilty myself and OMG, my DH, someone I adore and love w/ my whole heart does it all the time. I bite my tongue most of the time but sometimes I just have to ...well, not. What others do concerns me less and less w/ every passing day. As long as it doesn't harm me, my family or others, it's just not worth my time to worry let alone spend a brain cell to assess judgment.

Disney may have far more security per square inch than the world at large but it's still not "normal". It's extreme, and that can call for more extreme measures. Just because they have the best security and a great record at reuniting parents and kids, I'm not one to disparage anyone for wanting to spare themselves that terror if they know a harness will help in this case.

Maybe I'm just getting "old". Putting my nose in other people's business just doesn't appeal to me anymore.

 

[robinb]

I can appreciate that and I appreciate your response. I understand that's your opinion, everyone is entitled to them. But don't you think an opinion is better based on knowledge rather than what can and often does amount to uneducated assumption? The reason I know that is it happens to me and my son daily. My point is you don't know. Does it feel better to judge someone? Maybe that's the crux of the issue. People are largely h*ll bent on judging others on things that really don't concern them. I'm not wagging a finger at people that I'm holier than thou because I've been guilty myself and OMG, my DH, someone I adore and love w/ my whole heart does it all the time. I bite my tongue most of the time but sometimes I just have to ...well, not. What others do concerns me less and less w/ every passing day. As long as it doesn't harm me, my family or others, it's just not worth my time to worry let alone spend a brain cell to assess judgment.

Disney may have far more security per square inch than the world at large but it's still not "normal". It's extreme, and that can call for more extreme measures. Just because they have the best security and a great record at reuniting parents and kids, I'm not one to disparage anyone for wanting to spare themselves that terror if they know a harness will help in this case.

Maybe I'm just getting "old". Putting my nose in other people's business just doesn't appeal to me anymore.

You seem very upset about my assumed assumptions, but doesn't your son belong in the "runner" category?

 

[ppony]

You seem very upset about my assumed assumptions, but doesn't your son belong in the "runner" category?

He does, but no one can look at him and know that. He ran into the street twice this week! Chasing him only makes him go faster too. I just don't like judgments, on anyone. It doesn't have to be aimed at me to upset me. I do thank you for not firing back at me in defensiveness. I've just spent so many years on the being "judged end of the stick", I hate seeing it happen to anyone. Now when I see children having meltdowns in public, I just feel bad for the parent and child. I have no idea what the reasons are. USed to be a day where I would assume the child was just being a brat. Yep, I've been there. Not proud of it. That's why I often will just plead w/people to try and be less quick to assume. I got those looks yesterday when my son wouldn't get in the car at an alpaca farm. He just had a total meltdown and an almost 5 year old is hard to physically restrain at times. Watching me, a pooh sized woman w/ an ankle brace, chase a 5 year old, was I'm sure a joy for onlookers.

Whoa, sorry about the novella, just so much emotion... clearly.

 

[magicgirl]

My parents used a harness, or reins as we call them over here, on my Sister and I. We used them on our children and my Daughter uses them on her Daughter. My youngest Grandson never had them and he is a nightmare to take out shopping as he runs away and hides. None of us felt our development or self reliance was comprised .

 

[Chaoticsweetness]

I appreciate the concept of the harness/leash. I have seen countless children wander away from their parents & the parents chase after them. There should be a certain age where its ok to not have them, but I think they serve their purpose.

I do not have personal experience, but I have seen them used in the parks. More so in Magic Kingdom than anywhere else.

 

[Cyrano]

Moving to Community as this discussion is about parenting rather than trip planning.

 

[Mermaid02]

My son was a runner and VERY impulsive~ couple that with the fact that I had avascular necrosis in my hip and you had a dangerous situation. I used one for him and it worked well for us.

 

[MoonFaerie]

He does, but no one can look at him and know that. He ran into the street twice this week! Chasing him only makes him go faster too. I just don't like judgments, on anyone. It doesn't have to be aimed at me to upset me. I do thank you for not firing back at me in defensiveness. I've just spent so many years on the being "judged end of the stick", I hate seeing it happen to anyone. Now when I see children having meltdowns in public, I just feel bad for the parent and child. I have no idea what the reasons are. USed to be a day where I would assume the child was just being a brat. Yep, I've been there. Not proud of it. That's why I often will just plead w/people to try and be less quick to assume. I got those looks yesterday when my son wouldn't get in the car at an alpaca farm. He just had a total meltdown and an almost 5 year old is hard to physically restrain at times. Watching me, a pooh sized woman w/ an ankle brace, chase a 5 year old, was I'm sure a joy for onlookers.

Whoa, sorry about the novella, just so much emotion... clearly.

Right? Fortunately I have really long legs, so catching him wasn't too hard. There was one day though when DD was 2-3 months old and DS was 17-18 months old. We'd gone to the post office. I let him walk, and I put DD in the sling. His had slipped out of mine, and he took off running into the street. I started chasing after him, and DD started to fall out of the sling. THey're really not made for running. Here I am holding DD upside down by her leg, chasing after DS, screaming like a maniac because there was a car coming that clearly didn't see DS. Everything turned out okay, but I bought a leash.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

As long as they are used responsibly, I have no problem with them. Don't be the parent who has the child on one side of the walkway while you are on the other, with the tether strung between, ready to trip someone. Some parents use a tether as a substitute for paying attention to what their child is doing. Not good.

Agree.

 

[aprilgail2]

Personally I hate the leash and wouldn't use one on my child but if someone else wants to I couldn't care less. My daughter one time said "why is that lady walking that kid like a dog"- the lady gave her such a look but she was little and to her it looked like the lady was walking a dog so she asked!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

For those who wouldn't use a "leash" on their kids, did those same kids sleep in a "cage", play in a "pen"?

No, they didn't.

 

[kamik86]

Honestly the only times it really looks bad in my opinion is when you see parents practically dragging a tired child around by the the thing. I'm afraid that the child is going to stop and get pulled down or something.

But if your just using it to remind the child to stay close by then that's cool. Certainly much better then having your child run off or stop to look for something and get lost.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

I used the dogs leash for them. Worked like a charm. They didn't have to be in the stroller or hold my hand, I didn't have to have a heart attack when they disappeared in the millisecond it takes for them to do so.

Well worth any distainful looks I ever got.

 

[tzolkin]

My parents used a harness, or reins as we call them over here, on my Sister and I. We used them on our children and my Daughter uses them on her Daughter. My youngest Grandson never had them and he is a nightmare to take out shopping as he runs away and hides. None of us felt our development or self reliance was comprised .

My parents used "leashes" for my younger siblings whenever we went to Disney or similar crowded/busy places. I was the oldest and they had four kids 5 and under. It's funny that I stumbled across this thread this morning because just yesterday (in a large crowd at a breast cancer walk) my two sisters mentioned how great they think leashes are and that my parents were smart for using them. So they were obviously not traumatized or humiliated.

They used the stretchy wrist ones, so they considered it like extended holding hands

I do resent the they-make-your-child-look-like-a-pet arguements. I love my dog as my child and I keep him on a leash when I need to BECAUSE I love him. He goes off leash when it's safe. There is no difference. You are responsible for the safety of your child and I am responsible for the safety of my pet. How WE as the parent/owner decide to do that is our business and no one else's.

We grew up in the late 80s/early 90s and my parents got dirty looks and comments. (I think the leashes/harnesses are more common/acceptable today) That was always my mom's thought. Why do you put a dog on a leash? So it doesn't run away or get hit by a car. She had the same concerns for her young children and she felt a "leash" was the best option.

Do what you need to do to make your child safe & don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

I got a monkey backpack style harness after my second child. I kept it in the car and did bring it on our first Disney trips. I never once wound up using it for any of my kids, but if I had ever decided that it would have been the best tool to ensure their safety in a certain situation I would not have hesitated to use it.

 

[robinb]

He does, but no one can look at him and know that. He ran into the street twice this week! Chasing him only makes him go faster too. I just don't like judgments, on anyone. It doesn't have to be aimed at me to upset me. I do thank you for not firing back at me in defensiveness.

You are welcome. Frankly, I have felt somewhat attacked by your posts directed at me. I know you are passionate about this subject but just like you didn't want me to fire at me in defense, I would appreciate the same respect.

I've just spent so many years on the being "judged end of the stick", I hate seeing it happen to anyone. Now when I see children having meltdowns in public, I just feel bad for the parent and child. I have no idea what the reasons are. USed to be a day where I would assume the child was just being a brat. Yep, I've been there. Not proud of it. That's why I often will just plead w/people to try and be less quick to assume. I got those looks yesterday when my son wouldn't get in the car at an alpaca farm. He just had a total meltdown and an almost 5 year old is hard to physically restrain at times. Watching me, a pooh sized woman w/ an ankle brace, chase a 5 year old, was I'm sure a joy for onlookers.

Here's the deal ... we have all been judged for our "parenting skills" at one time or another. I had to bodily remove my screaming and kicking out of control melting 6-year old from DHS one fine morning. Not one the best moments for either of us and believe me, there are far more judging eyes on the people steaming into a theme park than at an alpaca farm .

FTR, I don't assume that someone with a kid on a leash is a "better safe than sorry" helicopter parent. I assume their kid is a runner.

 

[damo]

No, they didn't.

So no crib, no rails on the bed, no containment of any sort?

Interesting.

 

[Heidict]

My parents got one for me after I took off like a shot in the mall one day and got lost. Took them a bit to find me, but after some panic and freaking out they did. I'm sure it was because they were just lazy inattentive parents though. Had nothing to do with the fact that as a child I would run off in a split second. Then again, I guess I just wasn't "gifted or special" enough to follow directions and comprehend the dangers that could be involved with running away from my parents in a crowded place.

We got one for DD and used it a couple of times when she was around 2. Never had anyone say a bad thing to me about it, just other mothers coming up and asking where I got it.

I used to know a guy who hated them and would insult and judge anyone who used one. Of course, he was a horrible father, was never there for his kids and now, as adults, they have no relationship with him. Yeah, he was a great judge of parenting!! So, whenever I hear ignorant, judgmental twits spout on about how horrible the harnesses are and how horrible the parents are, I just remember him and wonder what they have in their closet.

 

[Southernmiss]

Oldest DS now 18 has always been very strong willed.

When oldest DS was 3 and I had his baby brother, I used a leash. He didn't like the stroller. He has always been active. I had to be able to keep up with both of them and this was the best way to keep him safe and not let him get too far ahead of me.

 

[Lindsay22]

I love mine. I have a 2 1/2 year old who likes it so much, she asks to wear it around the house. My 16 month old does not like to sit in the stroller and is not a good hand holder. It's either use the monkey back pack or hold her.
We were at Epcot on Sat and had an umbrella stroller, a baby wrap and the monkey backpack. When the older one wanted to be in the stroller, I had the younger one in the wrap. When the older one wanted to walk, she wore her backpack and the little one sat. When the older one wanted to nap and the little one didn't want to be held, she wore the back pack. Epcot was a zoo this weekend and I would rather have people give me a dirty look than lose my kids in the crowd.

BTW, the Eddie Bauer puppy harness is on sale for $6.99 at www.buybuybaby.com I just ordered one so that both kids can have one