How do you decide what to get the kids for Christmas?

[golfgal]

In our house it is the same thing every year, I make suggestions, DH shoots them down but then when I ask what he thinks we should get he offers no help . I am tempted to not do ANY shopping this year but I couldn't do that to the kids.

The kids don't NEED anything but I am one that believes Christmas is about getting what you want. Since the kids don't need anything I think Dh honestly thinks we should not get them anything.

I suggested getting a flat panel tv for the kids for the basement family room-shot that down right away-yet he has been complaining all year about the kids bringing their friends up to the upstairs tv room that is off our bedroom-seems like a simple solution to ME .

ARRRUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[npmommie]

Do your kids make a wish list for christmas?

I have mine make their Santa list then go from there.

 

[golfgal]

Do your kids make a wish list for christmas?

I have mine make their Santa list then go from there.

Rarely but sometimes we get a few ideas but even that doesn't help because Dh doesn't think they need anything. DS15, for example, wants an Ihome docking station for his Ipod. He and DD15 bought one together a few years ago but they both want to use it all the time now so he asked for one for Christmas. Well, DH thinks the one they have is "good enough" . Of course it is "good enough" but they both like to listen to their IPods before bed. I sent that request over to Grandma so he will get it from them.

 

[NHdisneylover]

In our house it is the same thing every year, I make suggestions, DH shoots them down but then when I ask what he thinks we should get he offers no help . I am tempted to not do ANY shopping this year but I couldn't do that to the kids.

The kids don't NEED anything but I am one that believes Christmas is about getting what you want. Since the kids don't need anything I think Dh honestly thinks we should not get them anything.

I suggested getting a flat panel tv for the kids for the basement family room-shot that down right away-yet he has been complaining all year about the kids bringing their friends up to the upstairs tv room that is off our bedroom-seems like a simple solution to ME .

ARRRUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is exactly how it is in our house too Both kids have birthdays Christmas week so we get double the fun.

In the end I just buy what I think anyway. This year I am in a quandary though. I found something I know my son will absolutely adore. It seems like a lot of money for what it is to me, and he will outgrow it in a year or two BUT I have dropped that much before 9and always on my daughter who generally has more expensive tastes) with items i know she was likely to outgrow soon--but they seemed worth more to ME for some reason. I keep going back to it would be worth it to HIM and would likely make this is favourite Christmas ever--but I just can't quite bring myself to spend it. Isn't that odd?

 

[hereyago]

Maybe you should break it off to him like this:" Either help with ideas or don't bleep about it because it isn't helping".

Your kids are old enough now to tell you what they would like. As for DH possibly thinking the kids should not get anything, maybe not get him anything.

 

[golfgal]

This is exactly how it is in our house too Both kids have birthdays Christmas week so we get double the fun.

In the end I just buy what I think anyway. This year I am in a quandary though. I found something I know my son will absolutely adore. It seems like a lot of money for what it is to me, and he will outgrow it in a year or two BUT I have dropped that much before 9and always on my daughter who generally has more expensive tastes) with items i know she was likely to outgrow soon--but they seemed worth more to ME for some reason. I keep going back to it would be worth it to HIM and would likely make this is favourite Christmas ever--but I just can't quite bring myself to spend it. Isn't that odd?

That is pretty much what I end up doing too. Since our kids are all older teens I REALLY might not do any shopping this year and see what happens. If it comes to Christmas Eve and Dh hasn't done anything I will probably wrap "gift certificates" for things and go shopping with the kids after Christmas. The only thing is that there are some great deals on TV's on Black Friday. DS18 said he might buy one anyway. I told him I would pay half and have that for his Christmas present but that isn't really fair to him since he is away at college and wouldn't be able to use the tv .

 

[golfgal]

Maybe you should break it off to him like this:" Either help with ideas or don't bleep about it because it isn't helping".

Your kids are old enough now to tell you what they would like. As for DH possibly thinking the kids should not get anything, maybe not get him anything.

That is pretty much the conversation we have every year. The ONE year he helped with gifts we spent triple what I normally do .

I have ideas for for the twins already, nothing yet for DS18 though. ME coming up with the ideas isn't that big of a deal, it's DH's shooting them down that is driving me nuts.

 

[npmommie]

Rarely but sometimes we get a few ideas but even that doesn't help because Dh doesn't think they need anything. DS15, for example, wants an Ihome docking station for his Ipod. He and DD15 bought one together a few years ago but they both want to use it all the time now so he asked for one for Christmas. Well, DH thinks the one they have is "good enough" . Of course it is "good enough" but they both like to listen to their IPods before bed. I sent that request over to Grandma so he will get it from them.

I think someone ( your dh) needs a lesson on christmas. LOL
christmas is not about "need", its about sometimes getting something you just "want".
why is he making christmas "practical"?
LOL we can be practical the rest of the year

 

[Magic Mom]

My kids don't get a lot during the year, so there is always something they ask for at Christmas. This year DD really wanted a texting phone and some stuff for her horse. DS will be hard this year. He's in college, and he's asked for Sperry's so he will get those, probably money for new tires, and some school supplies.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Sounds like your problems have nothing to do with Christmas gifts.

 

[jen0610]

Even with teens, like yours, they know they have to write down a list of what they would like to get for Christmas. They are allowed to put whatever they want on it, but know that "Santa" will get them whatever "Santa" thinks they will get the most use out of.

There have been things that they asked for, that they never thought we would actually get them. Have asked for it before and was told a resounding NO!!

The major gift for DD13 this year is a blu-ray player for her bedroom TV. We have gotten enough of the new movie releases in blu-ray, that she can no longer watch movies in her room. She either has to watch in her brothers room - like that happens often - or in the family room.

DS15 is getting a stereo system that has a i-pod docking station. DH was 15 when he got his first stereo, so we are doing the same for our son. He has no clue and will be shocked.

Your idea sounds wonderful. Your DH needs to take his Bah-hum-bug hat off. Get them nothing, cause they don't need anything. If my kinds only got what they needed, it wouldn't be very fun shopping for the gifts or them using their gifts.

 

[RitaZ.]

Do you have to get his approval on purchases? Just buy what you want for the kids.

 

[rodeo65]

My Dh has almost nothing to do with the kids gifts, has absolutely nothing to do with my parents, brother, SIL and their baby and now that we don't speak to his family neither of us has anything to do with any of their gifts So I choose what I want and that is best for everyone! I shop through the fall as I see things and would go nuts if I had to check with him on everything.

When they were a part of our lives, from the time we got married (actually, even from a year or two before) I was still the gift girl. He hates it, has no interest in it. Of course given the response I frequently got from MIL, I can see why he hates buying for them!

I always have to tell him what I want for Christmas or birthdays so now I just don't bother, If I have to tell you what to get me and then you go and get it, I might as well get it myself. To me getting someone a gift is about picking something you know they will love and want. That requires paying attention. Which I tell him every year. A few years he went the jewellery route and did well, but I've told him that I really do not need anymore jewellery so he's back to square one.

Normally, I just listen to what the kids are talking about through the fall. This year it's all about the Zhu Zhu and Battle Zhu pets. Then I fill in with things I think they need - clothing, or new toothbrushes for stockings.

Since our family gift this year to all of ourselves is going to Disney in January and since we're spending Christmas in FL with my parents, I had to shop for small gifts this year - and not too many either. I have bought for the kids and it all fits in one medium suitcase. DH and I are not buying for each other because we're heading to the outlets while we're there. Easier year by far - maybe we'll make Christmas travel a new tradition.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Just realized that I didn't answer your question. Our boys write lists - even the 13 year old who knows that there is no Santa. My wife then decides. I nod my head and stay out of the way.

 

[Magic Mom]

In our house it is the same thing every year, I make suggestions, DH shoots them down but then when I ask what he thinks we should get he offers no help . I am tempted to not do ANY shopping this year but I couldn't do that to the kids.

The kids don't NEED anything but I am one that believes Christmas is about getting what you want. Since the kids don't need anything I think Dh honestly thinks we should not get them anything.

I suggested getting a flat panel tv for the kids for the basement family room-shot that down right away-yet he has been complaining all year about the kids bringing their friends up to the upstairs tv room that is off our bedroom-seems like a simple solution to ME .

ARRRUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

If DH won't give you suggestions, then get what you want for them within your budget. He's being a scrooge and playing some passive aggresive game for some reason. Stop playing along and just move ahead with gift shopping without him.

 

[wdwiala]

My hubby doesn't know what Santa brings until he sees our kids open their presents on Christmas morning. It works for us!

DH likes to get each child one thing special that he shopped for each year. Last year it was a Nerf gun arsenal. I have girls, but they LOVED it. Maybe your hubby could purchase an item of his liking and let you choose everything else.

I like your idea. My kids would ADORE a big tv for our basement so that their friends could hang out.

This year, I am getting "the family" a Cricut cutter. Hubby will gripe and moan about how he can cut this stuff out at his job for free. Still, I think it is going to be handy for my girls and I. Gonna get it anyway. I can't control what Santa brings!

 

[mjkacmom]

I ask the kids what they want, and they get about 4 things, plus stocking stuffers, with at least one big ticket item. DH sees what I bought on Christmas Eve., when we set the gifts in front of the tree. He's never once inquired about what I'm getting. I buy for my IL's as well. He just buys for me.

 

[Darcy03231]

OP - I've been in the same situation early on in my marriage. Since my DH has no interest in shopping or wrapping, I do all the shopping and wrapping without any input from him. I don't even ask his opinion anymore. Gifts are bought, wrapped and put under the tree. Everyone is surprised on Christmas morning (including DH). He doesn't have any issue with taking credit for stuff though. One year I bought DSD a real pearl necklace, earrings and bracelet (her birthstone) and made out the tag from her Dad. She got very emotional over it and of course he took all the credit!

I will say this only works if your DH also doesn't care what you spend. I'm the family budgeter and have a budget worked out for everything and DH knows that I won't ever overspend or spend money we don't have.

 

[golfgal]

Do you have to get his approval on purchases? Just buy what you want for the kids.

Approval, no, but we generally discuss purchases-at least bigger ones.

Just realized that I didn't answer your question. Our boys write lists - even the 13 year old who knows that there is no Santa. My wife then decides. I nod my head and stay out of the way.

Can you come give my DH lessons

If DH won't give you suggestions, then get what you want for them within your budget. He's being a scrooge and playing some passive aggresive game for some reason. Stop playing along and just move ahead with gift shopping without him.

Which is what I usually do but I get sick of his whining after the fact too

OP - I've been in the same situation early on in my marriage. Since my DH has no interest in shopping or wrapping, I do all the shopping and wrapping without any input from him. I don't even ask his opinion anymore. Gifts are bought, wrapped and put under the tree. Everyone is surprised on Christmas morning (including DH). He doesn't have any issue with taking credit for stuff though. One year I bought DSD a real pearl necklace, earrings and bracelet (her birthstone) and made out the tag from her Dad. She got very emotional over it and of course he took all the credit!

I will say this only works if your DH also doesn't care what you spend. I'm the family budgeter and have a budget worked out for everything and DH knows that I won't ever overspend or spend money we don't have.

I think I just need to do this and stop asking him for his opinion-I'm trying to be nice by asking. I know what we can afford and if it were up to DH we would spend about $10 total on Christmas stuff

 

[Sgt Mickey]

Sounds like your problems have nothing to do with Christmas gifts.

I agree.

Sure my kids don't NEED what they are asking for but I thought that was the idea of the WISH lists and such.
Maybe it is the money he dosen't wish to spend. If so I would talk with him about a budgetscared1:I know I know) or maybe he dosen't enjoy Christmas? Past trama?