How do you deal?

[RayaniFoxmur]

I've gotta ask, how do you deal with the opposition and guilt?

FH and I have been planning a Disney wedding for a while now, researching and just biding time. He finally offically proposed on New Years Eve and we've decided we want to get married in May of 2008. This is fine right? Well, I said something to a girl I wanted to be my bridesmaid and she went off on me about the date to the point that she's no longer my friend. She said horrible things to me and about me because I didn't want to push it back another year so she could be there.

Then we told my family today. They all had fits. Claiming we wouldn't have the money for it (We will) and that they probably won't come because it's my second wedding and they just can't afford to come. Now, I haven't asked my mother to pay for a single part of this wedding and she is up in arms screaming because she can't afford to come. We need to rethink it, we need to not have it, we need to do this we need to do that.

I feel guilty! I'm sitting here feeling guilty because this is our dream wedding. We have been dreaming about it for months and even went to France when we were down there over NYE and sighed happily knowing we were going to be married there. I was told I was being selfish because it wasn't FH's first wedding and I'm just "taking over" even though this is both our ideas. I was selfish because not everyone could come. And to not expect any of my more distant family to come to a second wedding for me because "They've gone on that merry-go-round before" (mind you, my first marriage ended due to extreme physical abuse...).

I pray they'll come around. That this is all manipulation to try and get us to change our plans. But it feels so bad! We're both so miserable tonight because of it all... how did you deal?

 

[Pax]

Requirements:

1. Deep holes in remote location
2. Lots of powdered limestone

Pax

 

[dmslush]

All of this is one reason why DF and I are taking our daughter, heading to disney, getting married and THEN telling the majority of our family and friends. There are only a handful of people that know what we are going to do because we don't want to deal with people's hurt feelings and trying to make us feel guilty because we won't/can't accommodate THEM on OUR wedding day.

 

[happylalagirl]

This seems to be a common problem. Thankfully we didn't have to deal with this. My advice to you is to what you and your DF want to do. This is your wedding, not theirs. They are the ones being selfish if they think you should alter your dreams to acommodate them. They will probably come around and if they don't, would you really want that kind of "support" at your wedding anyway? You don't need that kind of stress. It really makes me mad that families do this to couples. It's just not right!! Maybe that's just my raging pregnancy hormones talking right now, but I would be downright mad and I'd let my family know it. But that's just me. Good luck with your planning and don't let others ruin this for you guys. This is your day, not theirs.

 

[disneybride2007]

I told the one's that didn't support the idea, they could all be replaced! They came around and was singing a different tune, about a week later.