How do you control the urge to buy?

[jodim]

I know this is going to sound awful, but lately I am out of control. I spend wayyyy to much money, and I *know* I shouldn't be doing it.

I have most cards at max and our savings is not growing because I spend anything extra that should be going that way.

To be fair it's almost always clothes, etc for the kids... sometimes they are truly things they need, but I don't make them wait until a different week, because quite frankly I don't want to go back to the store/mall.

We eat out at least 5 nights a week and I just can not seem to break that habit.

What do you do when you have the urge to buy something you know you don't "need"???

 

[QVCshopper]

I do a few things:

First, I join the No-buy Thread on here. It is a very supportive group.
Second, I exercise instead of shopping. I like walking.
Third, I combine trips to the store and tell my kids we aren't spending any money that day (my 5 year old told me to quit my no-buy day because he wanted something and I told him it could wait until we were near that store; it's a coloring book).
Fourth, I try to stop wanting stuff. Our society is crazy about stuff. I am trying to get away from that. Do I really need a new dress for that wedding shower or do I already have something that works?
Fifth, I stock up on easy meals. I work a few nights a week, those days my DH and I see each other for about an hour. Easy dinner it is!

You don't have to be as extreme as I am. I have my own views and habits and they work for me. I also am a person who LOVES to save. But, the above all help me reign in when I feel like I spent too much (on a Disney vacation, lol)!

 

[ah1126]

I do the best when I don't leave the house. If I go out, I spend money!

 

[jodim]

Thanks for the advice. I will check out the no buy thread, as I need help!

 

[QVCshopper]

Thanks for the advice. I will check out the no buy thread, as I need help!

New people are always welcome! We all have our own goals, but the gals are really sweet.

 

[crazelion]

Stop going to the store every time that need something.

have some easy cooked meals at the house. I work nights at the ball field. I always have hand salad, lunch meat, fruit, tv dinners when I don't want cooked. P.S. I do feed the kids a good healty meal when I not working nights.

Use what got at home.

Learn to do Free events in the city.

Get another source income for fun stuff.

There is free stuff out there. You just have to look for it.

 

[Abbeys_mom]

I hear ya!

I once read that if you stuck with something for 30 days, it becomes habit. So, we challenged ourselves to not eat out for 30 days. Boy, January sure did bite. But, we did it. And on February 1, we went out. We both were let down, we spent how much of our hard saved money on THAT? After that, it became so much easier to NOT spend that kind of money. $5 every day for a venti soy latte? Seriously? I can make it so much cheaper.

Now I appreciate things so much more. When we cleaned out our shed this spring, we found so many things that still had the tags on them. We just didn't use or appreciate what we had, and now we do. Our entire lives have changed since January. We paid off two maxed out credit cards, cash flowed a huge tax bill, built up an emergency fund, and are close to paying off my car note 10 months early.

We are making over six figures and always felt broke. We were broke all right, our values system was what wasn't working. We fixed that, and got on track to pay off our house 20 years early.

While we never fought about money - we loved to spend it together - we never were close to hitting our goals. Now we are fighting debt together and keeping each other accountable. It is fun, DH sells something on eBay we say "Ohhh, that just bought a plank of floor board!" or "Ohhhh, we now own our front door". When I manage to save a chunk of cash, DH is proud of me. At the end of the month, instead of stressing if tuition or the mortgage gets paid first, we decide which bill to lob that month's savings at - way more fun!

As for the temptation, we just don't go there. I took a TWO MONTH Target break to break that habit. If I feel the need to want something new, I check out Freecycle (and give something too, gotta keep up the karma points!) or the free section of Craigslist. Hey, it is new to me, like my new $600 pristine dishwasher we got for free!

Once I set my mind on something, I do it. Wealth building is my latest goal. You can do it too!

Good luck, and sorry for the ramble!

 

[jodim]

I hear ya!

I once read that if you stuck with something for 30 days, it becomes habit. So, we challenged ourselves to not eat out for 30 days. Boy, January sure did bite. But, we did it. And on February 1, we went out. We both were let down, we spent how much of our hard saved money on THAT? After that, it became so much easier to NOT spend that kind of money. $5 every day for a venti soy latte? Seriously? I can make it so much cheaper.

Now I appreciate things so much more. When we cleaned out our shed this spring, we found so many things that still had the tags on them. We just didn't use or appreciate what we had, and now we do. Our entire lives have changed since January. We paid off two maxed out credit cards, cash flowed a huge tax bill, built up an emergency fund, and are close to paying off my car note 10 months early.

We are making over six figures and always felt broke. We were broke all right, our values system was what wasn't working. We fixed that, and got on track to pay off our house 20 years early.

While we never fought about money - we loved to spend it together - we never were close to hitting our goals. Now we are fighting debt together and keeping each other accountable. It is fun, DH sells something on eBay we say "Ohhh, that just bought a plank of floor board!" or "Ohhhh, we now own our front door". When I manage to save a chunk of cash, DH is proud of me. At the end of the month, instead of stressing if tuition or the mortgage gets paid first, we decide which bill to lob that month's savings at - way more fun!

As for the temptation, we just don't go there. I took a TWO MONTH Target break to break that habit. If I feel the need to want something new, I check out Freecycle (and give something too, gotta keep up the karma points!) or the free section of Craigslist. Hey, it is new to me, like my new $600 pristine dishwasher we got for free!

Once I set my mind on something, I do it. Wealth building is my latest goal. You can do it too!

Good luck, and sorry for the ramble!

I appreciate the ramble!! If we can do the 30 day w/o eating out I think it would make a huge difference. We spent almost $1000 eating out last month (and that's just what was on our debit cards, I don't even want to think about what we actually spent! We never charge meals to our CC's, but we spend cash for them often too.)

I am considering locking up our cards in the safe so we aren't tempted to use them, and maybe going back to cash. It is just too easy to swipe it.. and we never spend a lot at once, but we spend 20-50 way to many times in one week, and well it really adds up - quick.

 

[chris31997]

I pay cash for everything and when it come time to go shopping for whatever, I make a list and estimate how much it will cost and take only that much cash with me. If something is not on the list it does not get bought.

 

[DawnM]

This!



I have a cash only policy.

Honestly though, in your case, I think you need more than just not eating out. I would work hard to pay down your debt. Credit card debt is a ball and chain. That $50 meal just cost you $60 or $70 with interest if you aren't paying off the balance each month.

I know many hate hearing Dave Ramsey, but I think that is a good place to start. He has some solid advice for those in debt.

We spent a couple of years getting out of debt and it was like being on a strict diet, but coming out the other side is like finally putting on that little black dress you finally look fabulous in.



Dawn

I pay cash for everything and when it come time to go shopping for whatever, I make a list and estimate how much it will cost and take only that much cash with me. If something is not on the list it does not get bought.

 

[eliza61]

I do a few things.

1) Don't go to the mall. I find on the weekends if my family wants to get out of the house we tend to go to the mall. I had to cut that out.

2) take cards out of my wallet. Since I do a lot of work on the web, it's always been tempting to make on line purchases.

3) now I'm trying to get in the habit of waiting 24 hours before buying. that usually "talks me off the ledge" when I'm tempted to make impulse purchase.

Actually for me the once a week that we eat out is a treat. I'm a working mom, so after a week of work, then kids sports, other kid activities, housework and miscellaneous running around, I think my entire family looks forward to pizza night. So I budget that into my weekly must do.

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

In addition to everything above... if you really get the urge to shop go to the library. You come home with a few books or magazines and you have that feeling of getting something new!

Also, when shopping for DD, I stopped buying her things she is only going to wear a few times. She needed a dress for something, I got her a comfy t-shirt dress from Lands End she will wear a lot more. No fancy holiday dresses that she will wear once. Also with kids clothes- I stay the heck out of the malls (most of the time) and buy what she needs online with the exception of cheap play clothes at Target and Old Navy. When we go back to school shopping we will hit the mall, but not much more than that. When she needs a winter coat, I order it online when it is on sale and free shipping- no going to the mall and spending a lot more money!

 

[pigletto]

My single biggest tip to avoid eating out is to plan a menu for the week. The benefit is twofold. One, you make a list to get what you need for the week or use up what you already have. This avoids impulse buying the grocery store and wasting things in your pantry/freezer. Two, you are less likely to give into the impulse to go out when you are tired and hungry. If you've planned your menu for the week, you can throw it in the slow cooker in the morning, or get the meat out to thaw the night before and everything is ready to go during the dinner rush.
Planning for menus saves me a TON. When I don't we do way too much take out or restaurant eating. When we cook everything from home I spend an average of 100 a week for groceries. If we went out 5 nights a week that number goes up to to about 300 or 350 for the four of us. That is a HUGE amount of money that can go into savings for us.

Check out the Eating at Home thread on this board to start your plan for the week. I promise if you stick with it, you'll see a big difference.

 

[hsmamato2]

good advice so far one big thing that might help,is filling your free time with something else,and stay away from stores! Like visiting the library for new cd's dvd's,books,magazines....redecorating your back porch with items you 'find' around the house,not bought items! take up a craft-start exercising/walking/playing at the park with your kids, call some friends and go for a walk...etc etc etc.
when you 'need' something ,don't go right to the store,plan your visit,say,no more than 1x per week,no matter what! make a list of needs....then the day you go, decide if you still 'need' those things..... many times you find you don't-
start cooking for a hobby,it can so satisfying to feed your family well for so much less! go to the library and check out some cookbooks,and start having fun! decide at the beginning of each week decide how much you want to spend MAX! on food,etc- then don't go past that,even if it means a night with a bowl of cereal (my kids love that)

 

[Marionnette]

Try to identify your triggers that send you shopping and spending. Are you bored? Depressed? Anxious?

Once you identify your triggers, look for a substitute activity that won't cost you anything. Running or vigorous exercise is a great way to release endorphins that can improve your mood and give you a little "high" that can be similar to the feeling you get when you make a purchase.

OTOH, find some chore you detest doing and "punish" yourself by forcing yourself to do the chore every time you make an impulse buys. If I knew that I had to scrub a bathroom every time I whipped out the credit card to buy something we didn't plan to get, I know that I wouldn't be making too many unplanned purchases!

 

[nowellsl]

When I was getting out of debt I went on a 3 year spending freeze

The only thing that worked for me was just staying out of stores, especially Target!!!

Try watching Suzi Orman, she was a big motivator for me. There's also a show that comes on right after called Till Debt do us part, the people on that show use a cash jar system that is kindof interesting. Both shows come on on Sat. night on CNBC.

 

[wide awake]

When you get into that "buying something for the kids"...think how they're going to feel when they're your age and helping support you and DH because you ate out every night and couldn't stay away from the mall. That sounds harsh, I know, but I am constantly amazed at those who have no real retirement...and who act as if they will be earning their entire lives. Give your kids something lots more important than a new shirt or cheeseburger...give them the freedom from worrying about how you're keeping a roof over your head. If that doesn't help think about how you're leading them down the road to obesity and poor health by eating restaurant/fast food all the time. Not doing anyone any favors there. If you buy for status...there is nothing you can buy that impresses ANYONE who has a strong value system. Some people have more money/things than others. The way it has always been, the way it will always be. If you have to impress someone do it w/ actions or real accomplishments.

 

[LilSweetPeaPhoto]

I could have written your post. In fact I started to write one like it a week ago and deleted it.

I KNOW we need to save money. I really do. However I can't stop spending. We have a lawn service, we have a cleaning lady, we eat out. We have 2 car payments and DH's is about paid off. We're looking to sell his car and get a new one, aka keeping the car payment.

I'm embarassed to say what I spend shopping, mostly on the kids. But I have an addiction to the GAP for myself and Lush!

So just know, you are NOT alone!

 

[#1hoosierfan]

Eating out is a HUGE budget buster!

I cannot stress enough the importance of meal planning! I sit down once a week and make out my grocery list and list of dinners for the week. No excuses for not cooking. I love looking at new recipes on-line and trying them out too.

Also "treat" yourself at home. On Sunday we got 2 ribeyes from the local butcher shop ($20) and a bottle of wine ($10). I then made some sides and rolls. It was soooo good! Granted it was an expensive "at home" meal, but the same thing at a restaurant would have been AT LEAST $75. We didn't go out to eat last weekend, but we didn't feel like we were missing anything.

As far as clothes go, I am BAD about buying things for the boys. Most of their clothes are Nike or Ralph Lauren. I NEVER pay full price, though. I get them at TJ Max, off of e-bay, or at a consignment sale.

I also look for bargains for myself or I don't buy it. I love Coach purses, but I will only buy them at the outlet store. Most of my clothes come from Target and Kohl's.... on sale and with a coupon. Last week, however, I did find a cute little jacket from Ann Taylor Loft that started at $60.... I got it for $3! I was on all day for that little find!

It really comes down to choices. I choose to bargain shop and not eat out as much so that we can use that money for the retirement, college savings, vacations, etc. Granted I could save even more by NOT buying the designer clothes and handbags (even at a discount) but we can afford it, and it makes me happy.

 

[MinnieVanMom]

Good topic and thanks for posting. I just know what the long term picture is and try to remember my long term goal and not spend so I can go without not to have what I want later.