How do you change DH's attitude?!!

[2BoysMum&Dad]

Coming to WDW was my idea of a perfect family holiday (never been before). The kids are really really really looking forward to it (although I now wish I hadn't told them and kept it as a wonderful surprise for the aeroplane trip).

I know it's going to be brilliant, exciting, the best time we have ever had and nothing like any other holiday we have ever had.

Problem is DH

Don't get me wrong, though. DH is a wonderful person and great in so many ways. There are just a couple of "little" things which I would like advice on please!

Number one - he hates spending money - is allergic to it. But, I have overcome the first hurdle on this subject which was him agreeing to spend a lot of money on booking this holiday and the necessary tickets to theme parks and Orlando attractions. I am now hoping he doesn't spend the three weeks drawing breath through gritted teeth every five minutes and saying "how much was that souvenir/meal (or whatever)"!

Number two - he doesn't really know how to have real "fun". He is a typical Englishman in a lot of respects and very intelligent. He got a scholarship to Oxford University and also did his Doctorate there. His idea of relaxing is sitting in a comfortable chair (or bed) in a quiet place (no telly or noise) and reading a good book! Or going down the pub with a few friends for a few beers. Going out for a nice walk with the kids is ok too. We have a theme park near us (Legoland in Windsor) which he doesn't find too bad though!

Any ideas anyone on how to lighten him up a bit! By the way, I DO love him dearly!!

2BoysMum&Dad

 

[zurgswife]

As far as the money goes could you pre budget and save for stuff so It's already thougt of....I realize during a 3 week trip there are a lot of incidentals that would pop up but try making a budget for the meals and souviners ahead of time. That might help...

As far as the stiff englishmen thing...I think the budget might help and just let WDW do it's magic...

Good luck..

 

[shortbun]

I'd schedule so time for him to do his "thing." Time for reading,
a hotel with a comfortable chair. Take the children to the pool
and let DH have some alone time. I would tell mine that I had plugged these times in just for him and that the other times are for the children. My DH loves solitude and having time to explore
his way so we always schedule time for Dad in our trips. As far as the budget, be honest and tell him some things will be expensive but that you've found some ways to cut costs....counter service for some meals, refillable mugs, limited the children to an amount for souvenirs. Tell him this is his vacation too and to let you handle the money, then you'll both relax. I agree with the above poster, let the "magic" do it's job.
I do hope you can schedule some time for Mother while you're
planning!
mimi

 

[2BoysMum&Dad]

Thanks guys for your help. There are some great suggestions. I am all in for planning ahead, scheduling, budgeting etc as I think this is half the fun and will keep DH happy. Only downside, DH is complaining slightly that I am spending a bit too much time on the computer/WDW research and my normal chores are getting slightly negleted! LOL

In my opinion, we are not short of money. We do have a sensible amount of money saved away which DH says we should keep for replacing cars/retirement/emergencies/holidays when retired etc etc. I tend to lean more towards spending more money than we really need to on living. Hopefully, between us, we tend to negotiate the right balance and still end up sending money to our savings accounts!

We all need to budget though. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would still plan carefully how to spend/save the money!

2BoysMum&Dad

 

[ibouncetoo]

You also have the belssing of a long trip, so you should be able to schecule 'down' time for all of you. Spread out the larger expenses, like the nice sit down dinners, so it won't feel as much like you're shelling out the big bucks daily. Don't know where you are staying, but having a fridge in the room is really helpful and if you can show him the 'economizing' of breakfast in the room that could score some points Maybe he (all you you actually) would enjoy renting some water mice and spending some time on the water and relaxing at the Wilderness lodge one afternoon.

I think it's the constant reaching for the wallet that can really freak one out. Maybe it would help if the kids have their own money to carry to buy their own beverages/ice cream bars/popcorn etc. (It's also interesting how kids will think twice when it's "their" money they are spending!) ALso you can plan on any souvineer shoping be done at on of the character outlet stores early in the trip.....I usually get myself a Disney T-Shirt there each trip. Then if you show him these economizing measures, it might make him more comfortable....even if they aren't really necessary based on your budget, it may give him some piece of mind.

 

[ScarlettO]

Are you staying offsite , somewhere to cook?

One of the biggest shocks for first time Theme park goers in Florida is the Very high cost of food at the parks.One of my relatives said that her husband complained at this for every meal and it put a "damper" on their trip. Be sure your Dh is prepared for this aspect of the trip.

Another thing I notice in Florida is foreign tourist often are dressed in clothes that are too hot for Florida. If you are there from March to October, have very lightweight clothes....no knits. Breathable cotton is best.

Have fun!

 

[cindysteve]

Here are some "helpful" tricks to keep him from thinking about money:
1- Never send him up for the food. He will not know what the cost was.
2- Stay on-world and charge things to the room- One big shock after the fact, not constantly watching the wallet empty out.
3- Use meal vouchers, and pay before you leave.
4- Explain that Disney has its own monetary system- Disney Dollars. Create your own exchange rate every day for them- "oh, darling, come now-it was only $50 Disney Dollars, that is only like 5 pounds or something...."
5- Never, I repeat never- bring him with while you shop at DTD. This is a good time to let him relax with his book.
6- Send him to tea at the Grand Floridian to make him thing of home- or golfing.

If you never let him see the checks you should be fine.

I have no idea how to teach him to have fun. You will just have to force it on him until he figures it out.

 

[tlgoblue]

If any of these suggestions work for you, let me know which ones! My sister is married to a "typical Englishman" who sounds just like your DH! They have never taken a holiday, and his idea of fun is sitting in front of the telly with a 6 pack. (He's from Bolton, hence the 6 pack and not a nice Scotch.)

Unfortunately, my sister would spend every cent he had if he let her, so his restraint is somewhat understandable. Still, he just doesn't part with $$, unless it is for an Armani suit. We have suggested all inclusive trips like a cruise. That way he knows how much he needs to save , and exactly what he'll be looking at spending. Still nothing. But again, more good news, they have zero debt, aside form their house, which they just sold, so I guess that's zero debt.

I don't know how Darling sis stands it. Three kids under 5 and never a break. I'll be looking forward to hearing how your DH copes with your upcoming trip! Have fun!

Tracy

 

[janette]

My DH is somewhat like that. We are DVC members and always stay in a 1bedroom so he has plenty of space at the room. OKW is wonderful for this, lots of quiet and a porch. He didn't realize how much DVC was at first (although he signed the papers) after our first stay he didn't mind at all buying more points so he could stay in a 1bdrm all the time.

He's not very budget minded and enjoys all the restaurants. We time our trips to get the most out of an AP so while the girls & I do the parks he just hangs out most of the time. He might go to the parks for a couple of hours, do his favorites and then is ready to go.

I've learned not to push for more, if he doesn't want to do what we are doing I just go without him.

I take advantage and alter my touring plans to spend time with both my girls. They have different interests so I'll leave one with DH sometimes and take the other one to do things that they like.

Another good thing that has come of this is that he doesn't like change much. WDW is about the only vacation he is interested in because he has his favorite restaurants and is comfortable in the rooms etc. Someday the girls & I might venture and travel more on our own but for now it's nice that he likes to go to WDW as much as we do although for different reasons.

 

[Kallison]

Tell him the more you plan the better time you will have. You don't won't to spend all that money and not utilize your time in WDW wisely. From my experience, people who wing it with no clue do NOT have fun at WDW. Good Luck. DH is a saver too, but when we are on vacation we don't think about what we are spending.

 

[nativetxn]

Good luck with this. My DH is severely Disney impaired. I can't <i>pay</i> him to enter a park

As far as the money is concerned, remind your husband how much further the pound goes in the US, y'all have an excellent rate these days, right?

 

[clh2]

Originally posted by 2BoysMum&Dad


Problem is DH

Don't get me wrong, though. DH is a wonderful person and great in so many ways. There are just a couple of "little" things which I would like advice on please!

Number one - he hates spending money - is allergic to it. But, I have overcome the first hurdle on this subject which was him agreeing to spend a lot of money on booking this holiday and the necessary tickets to theme parks and Orlando attractions. I am now hoping he doesn't spend the three weeks drawing breath through gritted teeth every five minutes and saying "how much was that souvenir/meal (or whatever)"!

Any ideas anyone on how to lighten him up a bit! By the way, I DO love him dearly!!

2BoysMum&Dad

Sounds like your DH is a long lost twin of my DH. We did a cruise and spent a couple of days at WDW last fall.

My DH is still gritting his teeth at how much the whole week cost. We probably could have cut out an additional $2-300, however we didn't want to totally do a budget vacation.

For what we got, I think the whole week was very reasonable. We don't take big vacations every year (actually the BIG ones are about every 4 years).

My advice - spend some time visiting the DIS budget boards. There are some people who have some great ideas. Pick and choose what works best for you. I'm thinking that since you are going to be here for several weeks, you may want to find a way to get to a grocery store, and at least try to find a way to get some meals in your room. (Breakfast is very easy to do in your room! It would save a ton of money. It sounds like Disney is fairly generous about allowing guests to bring in a modest amount of snacks/water etc. DO IT! We always brought in our own water bottles and some snacks for DD.

You didn't mention how soon your trip is. I would highly recommend the cruise! As they said in the disembarkation talk, your final bill could sail under the door with a little "whoosh" or it could land with a pretty big clunk. Ours "whooshed" very easily under the door. We did not spend any money on "fru-fru" drinks. We limited the money we spent on souveniers (I can never spell that on correctly!).

On the shorter cruises - either 3-day or 4-day, while you can spend a ton on shore excursions, you can spend the Nassau day entirely on the ship - there is lots to do, that doesn't cost extra, and depending on the ages of your DS's, they could possibly be somewhat independant on the ship. Plus, on the ship - your meals are included in the cost of the cruise. Your DH could be as busy or relaxed as he wants to be. The cruise is also a great opportunity for you and your DH to have some alone time too! If your DS's have a habit of eating you out of house and home - there are many opportunities to do this on the ship - without costing you a dime. There are also many different options for accomodations on the ship. Visit the Cruise boards on the DIS. Many people have unlimited funds - we did not. The cruise board has advice for people of all economic concerns. On a scale of 1-12 where category 1 is the Walt Disney suite, and category 12 is the least expensive - we were in a category 10.

For a couple of days - my DH didn't have to raise his eyebrows at any dinner checks! I'm not a spa kind of girl - so that didn't add to the final bill. I don't like coconut or fruity drinks - so it was easy for me to resist the alcoholic beverages that can quickly take you from a whoosh to a clunk with the final bill. Our DD had her own money to spend on the cruise, so she wasn't constantly begging for souveniers either.

One mistake I made - I did not even have a clue about how many character opportunities were available on the ship. When we went to WDW, I booked too many character meals (Chef Mickey, Cinderalla's Round table, and the Ice cream Social) for a 3-day stay. The Ice cream social is a very inexpensive character function, the others are pretty pricey. I would have skipped Cinderella's, Crystal Palace and Chef MIckey had I had a clue just how many characters were on the ship!

Good luck with your DH!

Now, my big problem is how to get DH to want to do another cruise...

 

[kasar]

Can you start stocking up on Disney Dollars? I don't know if you have a Disney Store but if you do, you can buy a few at a time. You won't really miss those few dollars but over several months they would really add up. That way, all your little expenses like food and trinkets are already paid for. Our kids always ask for Disney Dollars for Christmas and birthdays so they always have a pocketful when we go.

I hate spending money, too but I still love to vacation. I want to spend the money - I just don't want to know how much! LOL My husband is the "money guy" on the trip, I'm the keeper of bags and children. I know it sounds silly but I'd rather wait until the trip is over and I know what a great time we had before figuring out how much we spent! Maybe you could keep your husband blissfully ignorant a bit, too.

 

[2BoysMum&Dad]

Another load of useful information guys. Thanks.

We will be in CBR end of July until mid August.

Any ideas whether Disney stores in the UK sell Disney dollars?
There is one near us. I can ask, of course, but wondered if
anyone knows?

2BoysMum&Dad

 

[Girls Scout Leader]

My favorite way to budget during a trip, is to pre-establish how much I will be spending each day. Say, for myself, $50 a day. Since I will be spening 5 days there, I will have 5 envelopes each with $50, and take out one each day. I will know instantly how much I have left to play with, and I don't over spend. It's nicer than carrying all with me and then getting sticker shock at the end of the day when I see how much I spent without realizing all the little bits here and there.

My DH is the same way with $$. At the end of the week after paying bills, I'm likely to say "look how much we have left!"
and he's likely to say "That's all we have left?"

 

[2BoysMum&Dad]

Someone here kindly suggested we could rent a refridgerator in our room (CBR) and eating quite a few meals in the room to save money. Anyone know how much money I would save (approximately) as I would have to take into consideration the cost of renting the refridgerator.

Another idea, to save renting the refridgerator, would be to get an ice cooler box/bag with bags of ice from the free ice machines to keep milk and any other items which need to be kept cool.

I realise this is a budgeting subject and should be dealt with on the budgeting board, but we are also discussing how to keep a difficult DH happy!

I will certainly keep you all informed after our trip regarding how it all went!

Thanks everyone. Sounds like I am not alone with all your similar stories - makes me feel like part of a big family of Disney fans! (eyes welling up!)

2BoysMum&Dad

 

[mickeyfan1]

Well, I hope that for the three weeks you are buying APs, the trade off is 8 days of Park Hoppers = an AP ticket.

As far as keeping the hubby happy, don't forget there is an English pub in Epcot World Showcase. Although the beer is cold, as that is how us Yanks drink it, he can get a pint of Guinness, or Harp, or a Black and Tan, and maybe that would make him a little happier. Of course, the prices will be a lot higher, but sheesh, right now the Pound will buy almost 2 dollars US, what a treat that is for you.

My DH is 1/2 Brit, and hates all theme parks. I hope you have a magical time!

Edited becasue as usual, my typing is very poor.

 

[cubsfan]

Good one Marsha!

That would be my advice exactly! First day! Take him right to the back of Epcot's World Showcase to the Rose and Crown Pub and get a couple of pints of ale into him! lol! And while we're on the subject.....if everything in Europe is metric, why are they called pints and yards instead of litres and metres?
Just wondering....

Brian

 

[MerryPoppins]

Oatmeal, pop tarts, breakfast bars, fruit all can be fixed in your hotel room without a refrigerator. With a fridge you could add yogurt, milk and cereal.

We seldom eat a breakfast in the parks. We eat something on the run from our room and do at least one meal counter service each day. Food is probably where you will spend the biggest bucks.

I agree that you should get APs. Then you won't feel guilty buying another day's tickets. They are paid for so you might as well use them!

 

[tw1nsmom]

My DH isn't very budget minded, but one thing that eases the pain of food expenses is to subtract out what you would spend on food at home. You would be spending that much anyway, so it really shouldn't count as vacation expense.

Also, have you considered renting a house for your stay? Most likely it would be the same price or cheaper than CBR and you would have a lot more room and usually a private pool. You could also cook most of your meals or at least breakfast and snacks.