How do we keep neighborhood annoying kid from ruining our summer???

[Wishing on a star]

I wish that could believe that this was a good family and that speaking with the mother/parents would be a positive outcome.

But, NO... I would not take that as a given.

If the OP is unable to keep this un-supervised six year old from showing up on her doorstep. Yes, I would def. not hesitate to call the authorities.

The parents, and the teens, are obviously gone, for hours and hours, on a regular/daily basis.

NO excuse for not knowing what is going on with your six year old child.

NO excuse.

 

[runsandjumps]

When I am not up for play dates or visitors- I simply say we are not available and send the kids home. If your kids want to play outside I just tell the other kids that mine want some space to play alone.

I can totally relate. I used to be one of the only moms in the neighborhood outside with their kids and it seemed like I was the dumping ground for daycare.

I don't think so. Now is the time to be confrontational so you can enjoy your summer.

 

[diamondpixienc]

I do agree with Uncle Remus about talking to the mom about teens not taking care of her. If something were to happen to her, the mom may be held responsible.

^This for sure. I would have no problem informing the parents about the older ones not actually "watching" their little sister. Second, I would let the parents know that your DD will have play dates with some of her other friends too and that her kid should not assume that she is always invited. Finally, also add my DD can not have any friends over during The hours of "X" or not allowed after "X" time. Or maybe you should have them CALL FIRST and just be busy. But defineately tell them about her siblings. Oh, one more thing be gentle about suggesting camps and activities you never know if the issue is financial. Everybody can't afford $120+ per week and that could very well be the reason why she is leaving the teenage sister in charge.

 

[Bob NC]

It is absolutely ridiculous how quickly people on this board leap to "call CPS" (or animal control, or the police, or whatever authority is relevant to the specific situation). Whatever happened to civility and neighborly friendliness?

Nobody yet has mentioned maybe you should call all the local tv stations. I'm sure they would all like to do a week long SPECIAL REPORT on this.

 

[Allison]

It is absolutely ridiculous how quickly people on this board leap to "call CPS" (or animal control, or the police, or whatever authority is relevant to the specific situation). Whatever happened to civility and neighborly friendliness?

We don't know if the 6yo's mom is aware that her teens are shirking their responsibility, and we don't know if the teens have any clue that the neighbor isn't happy to have the 6yo over to play. To me, CPS is a last resort to be contacted when a child isn't being cared for or is being abused, not something to invoke at the first sign of a bad babysitter.

I agree, completely ridiculous.

 

[Allison]

Yes... THIS.

And, again, as you consider whether to let her in, send her home, whatever.....
the moment the girl is in your house, that would be 'implied consent'.

Implied consent to what?

 

[heatherleigh]

Nobody yet has mentioned maybe you should call all the local tv stations. I'm sure they would all like to do a week long SPECIAL REPORT on this.

I agree! People are quick to report someone these days, for something as petty as not changing a baby's diaper within 5 mins after they wet it.

I had a similar thing happen last summer, where I wound up providing free child are under the guise of a "play date". I had to start telling the parents we were busy or had appts, and generally avoided them. They got the hint right away. I was talking to another parent recently who went thru the same thing with the same kid right before I did.

 

[Aliceacc]

It is absolutely ridiculous how quickly people on this board leap to "call CPS" (or animal control, or the police, or whatever authority is relevant to the specific situation). Whatever happened to civility and neighborly friendliness?

Not even to mention the fact that every frivolous report means that already strained resources are being pulled from the cases of real neglect and abuse. Every single time a caseworker has to investigate a false claim, there's some possible case of serious abuse that's not being gotten to.

 

[Darcy03231]

OP I had the same thing happen one summer when my children were younger. I had hired a Nanny for the summer to watch my four children. A little girl from down the street would arrive at my house as soon as I left for work and would still be there when I got home. Both of her parents worked and her older brother (a teenager) was supposed to be watching her. The only difference is that this little girl was really very sweet.

I went down to the neighbor's one evening to talk to them about it. They had no idea what was going on. They thought the brother was watching her. I told them that I was paying the Nanny to watch my children and she really didn't need a 5th child there all day every day. The brother was taking off with his friends and just leaving the little girl to fend for herself. They were paying the brother to watch her rather then send her to summer day camp as he wanted the money so he could buy a car. By the following week the child was in summer day camp.

This could be a similar situation and the mom could have no idea. I would talk to her.

 

[mrsklamc]

Not even to mention the fact that every frivolous report means that already strained resources are being pulled from the cases of real neglect and abuse. Every single time a caseworker has to investigate a false claim, there's some possible case of serious abuse that's not being gotten to.

Except that we don't know this is frivolous. If OP talks to mom and 6 yo is being mistreated, she just doesn't come over anymore and it may continue to happen behind closed doors. If older kids don't feed her there's no way of knowing what might or might not be happening when she's home. If a 6 year old is 'mean' then it is most likely because someone is/has been mean to them.

If CPS is called, and it's nothing, then they can determine it's nothing.

I will say though that I did not know when I first said to call CPS that in New York mandated reporters are off the hook when they are not working. It is not like that in every state, so my initial response was mostly about protecting OP.

 

[MissManda]

I don't have first hand experience with this, but I have heard my Mom talk about a similar situation. During the summer she watches my niece, nephew and their step sister. The house next door has 4 boys. Three of them around around the same age as my niece and nephew.

The boys have very little supervision, even though their Mom is home all summer long. They just come and go as they please. They are also on the trouble making side...broke a few windows (then blamed my nephew, who wasn't even at my Moms that day, spray painted a neighbor's shed, started a fire in their backyard). Their parents think its "typical boy stuff".

The boys also can't along with the kids my Mom is watching. Anytime they were over arguments would start, someone usually gets their feelings hurt. Also, they would come in the house and take whatever drinks and snacks they want. Like my Mom says, she's not running a cafeteria and paying for the neighborhood to eat at her house.

She finally told the boys to their faces that they were not allowed in her yard/home at all. She also said that "her kids" weren't allowed in their yard/home at all. If they were all playing on the street, riding bikes, etc, that would be fine. But once they hit the yard, that was it. They had to go their separate ways. She was not going to spend her summer listening to kids argue and cry. She also talked with the boy's Mom and told her the rules and explained why.

This approach worked really well for my Mom. I think you would benefit from doing something similar. Good luck!

 

[sbtrfly74]

Implied consent to what?

That you are responsible for their well being. This is even true if your not home and a kid is on your property. My parent have a pool and suspected kids swimming while they weren't home, they would be responsible if a kid drown in their pool.


I had a neighbor that had his daughter (young) and granddaughter 6 living with him. I was a young mother too but a responsible one. When we moved in they had a birthday party and I let my DD go over, even though next door I drove since we dont live in a neighborhood. A few days later the kid was knocking on my door and mom was in her car in my driveway and the kid said "my mom said I could come over for a few hours while she goes shopping".

Yeah that's not going to happen, I politely told her they couldnt play right now and she looked stunned but I never saw her again. Im not going to be a babysitter for any kid unless I invite them over.

Agree that OP should talk to the mom asap, dont let it ruin your time off with your family.

 

[North of Mouse]

When our first child ,dd, was 4 months old, my dh was transferred about 100 miles. We rented a house at first, and the first week these two little girls (about 8) started showing up - real friendly. I was only 22 and wanted to be nice so I started letting them in. What a mistake! They started showing up every morning wanting to 'play' with A------. Say what? Play with an infant?

Also, the minute dh & I would go outside for a little family time they were right there. Were in our face all the time.

I tried being very nice - said she was sleeping, tired, whatever, and they'd be back in an hour. Finally had to tell them they couldn't come anymore. Was glad when we could move as they were not friendly at all after that (both families). I didn't know how to handle it!

 

[DLBDS]

Background: we have two daughters, 6 and 8. DH and I are both high school teachers, so summer is a time for us to spend lots of family time and relax.

New neighbors down the street have a 6 year old daughter who is NOT a nice girl. While at our house, she tried to push my daughter down the stairs twice. She comes over at meal times because she has been left alone and is hungry. Her teenage siblings have her come over, and then call to say that they are going shopping/golfing/movies/whatever and will be home in a few hours.

I am extremely nonconfrontational and don't know what to do. Whenever my kids have other friends over this other girl comes over and ruins their playdates with her behavior. DH and I really don't want to deal with this all summer. As a working mom, I have some sympathy for my neighbor because she needs her child to be watched, but my summer is not her free daycare.

Suggestions??? I'm sure lots of you have had similar experiences.

OMG That's a nightmare! Lock your doors. Change your phone number. Seriously though... you need to distance yourselves from these people. Send the girl back home when she comes over uninvited. They'll get the message eventually.

 

[AshleyD1983]

It is absolutely ridiculous how quickly people on this board leap to "call CPS" (or animal control, or the police, or whatever authority is relevant to the specific situation). Whatever happened to civility and neighborly friendliness?

We don't know if the 6yo's mom is aware that her teens are shirking their responsibility, and we don't know if the teens have any clue that the neighbor isn't happy to have the 6yo over to play. To me, CPS is a last resort to be contacted when a child isn't being cared for or is being abused, not something to invoke at the first sign of a bad babysitter.

Amen! The child's mother definitely needs to be contacted first.

 

[DLBDS]

Background: we have two daughters, 6 and 8. DH and I are both high school teachers, so summer is a time for us to spend lots of family time and relax.

New neighbors down the street have a 6 year old daughter who is NOT a nice girl. While at our house, she tried to push my daughter down the stairs twice. She comes over at meal times because she has been left alone and is hungry. Her teenage siblings have her come over, and then call to say that they are going shopping/golfing/movies/whatever and will be home in a few hours.

I am extremely nonconfrontational and don't know what to do. Whenever my kids have other friends over this other girl comes over and ruins their playdates with her behavior. DH and I really don't want to deal with this all summer. As a working mom, I have some sympathy for my neighbor because she needs her child to be watched, but my summer is not her free daycare.

Suggestions??? I'm sure lots of you have had similar experiences.

Soooo, how was your summer?