How do address your In-laws?

[Wishing on a star]

After reading about the in-laws on the Bachelorette thread, I became really curious.

Just how do you address your inlaws?

I am wondering if there is a big regional difference here, so if you post to the thread, maybe you could mention what part of the country you are from!

Thanks!


Edited to add:
I was going to post a poll here, so people could vote anonymously, but the system did not prompt for a poll?
ooops! I see where I messed up on the poll part now... sorry!

I was going to put...

Mr. or Mrs ___________
Mom or Dad __________
Address them by their first name
Do not feel comfortable with either of these for some reason

 

[Lewski709]

First names, but I try to stay AWAY.

 

[barrett7890]

my husbands father died before i met him, i call my MIL by her christian name

he feels really awkward calling my parents by their names so trys not to be in a position where he has to use them! he gets on really well with them both and they love him to bits, but for some reason it makes him embarrased or something

 

[believe]

By their first names. I know that my MIL would have no problem if I called her mom, but that doesn't feel right to me.

Kentucky

 

[Alice28]

I call them by their first names. My Sister in Law incessantly calls them Mom and Dad and MIL has told me this drives me crazy. MIL and I had a discussion once that it's fine to call her Sara- she didn't raise me, she's not my Mom, and my own Mom is still alive and kicking.

 

[Pooh67_68]

I am from Northeast PA.

First off my husbands parents were divorced and I only meet his father once. As for his mother I would call her mom and we got along great.
Both in-laws are gone now.

 

[MAC3]

From Massachusetts here,

I mostly call my mother in law Mom and sometimes by her first name.... I also have variations of her first name that I call her (all in fun).

My DH call my mother by her given name. I don't think he's ever called her Mom?

 

[crz4mm2]

First names.
Mom and Dad didn't seem right to me either. I am sure neither of them would mind though! They are the best!
My mom always told everyone to call her Mom. NOt just my DH, but all my friends as well.

Cathy

 

[princess lovers mom]

first names...
upstate NY

 

[Rajah]

First names, here

 

[disykat]

West Coast. First Names. My inlaws would probably prefer I call them Mom and Dad - not because they feel like I'm family, but for the authority/respect (?) it would give them. My BIL calls them Mom and Dad, but he married into the family very young and doesn't really have parents of his own. I was 29 when I married into the family and have no need to view them as my parents.

I have to add that we don't have ANY honorary family like titles for nonfamily. My kids don't have any "aunts" etc. that aren't actually aunts. I had a neighbor that I loved dearly that used to call herself "grandma" to my kids. As much as I loved her, she wasn't my kids grandma and I didn't want them to call her that.

 

[vald1977]

I use their first names as well. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I used mom and dad but it doesn't seem right to me since they aren't my parents .

 

[caitycaity]

dh gets along with my parents very well. sometimes i feel like they like him more than me. he calls them "mom and dad."

i do not feel comfortable calling his parents mom and dad (and it's complicated by the fact that his parents divorced and his dad remarried several years ago....) i call his mom, stepmom, and dad by their first names. they have encouraged me to use mom and dad (and first name of stepmom) but i just do not feel comfortable with that.

btw, dh is from the west coast, i am sort of from everywhere except the south.

i think this probably has to do with people's individual relationships with the people involved rather than geography.

for example, my dad was brought up on the westc oast and the midwest and he called his inlaws by their first names. my mom was raised in the midwest and called her inlaws mom and dad b/c she had a very close relationship with them.

 

[LisaTx]

By their first names.

Calling her Mrs. Lawrence is not a geographical thing, it's a control thing. If I were Meredith I would have walked out of the house and kept going as soon as the mom started telling me how I was going to live my life. I feel sorry for any woman who eventually marries Lenny.

 

[luvmydogs]

I call MIL Mrs. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . We get along well, but are not really close, if that makes sense. Dh, who is adored by my parents also uses Mr. and Mrs. We're originally from eastern PA. I can't even call my best friend's parents (whom I've known for over 30 years), by their first names--it just makes me uncomfortable! But, I do have intimacy issues so that may explain some of it.

 

[peg2001]

First names.

Peggy

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow! I love all of these great replies!

I did wonder if there were any geographical customs. But sounds like it is more of a 'relationship' thing!

My Inlaws are originally from a completely different part of the country. They were/are offended that I do not call them Mom and Dad. As to them, 'that is what everybody calls their inlaws'.

I could just never call them that. The possibility never really entered my mind. I too was a bit older when DH and I were married. So, I definately do not need another mother and father. DH says that in deference to our respective parents, that we not call our inlaws by Mom and Dad. So, even with his parents feelings, we are in complete agreement.


PS: Boy, Lanny's mom IS frightening!! LOL!!!!

 

[CEDmom]

From NJ here. DH's father passed away before I met him so I only have a MIL. We've never had much of a relationship so I rarely address her at all. Before DD came along I'd call her Mother Rose when necessary (my DH calls her Mother which IMO kinda tell you how warm and fuzzy she is ) Anyway, DD calls her Babci (Polish for Grandma) so that's what I call her when I need to use something. Even though DD is her only grandchild we still rarely see/hear from her which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

DH calls my mom by her 1st name (my Dad is also deceased).

 

[Gupsmom]

my in-laws have passed away. I used to call them Mom and Dad and my DH calls my parents Mom and Dad. For us it was never a question. It was just a matter of respecting their title. I know my parents are hurt that my BIL calls them Mr and Mrs.

I guess as long as everyone is comfortable with the choice, it doesn't matter.

Jess

BTW...I'm in Western NY

 

[Wishing on a star]

Hey, cute story on the Babci... I know someone with Inlaws of Polish descent, and their kids call their grandma a close derivative, something like 'Bahhba'

I just noticed a VERY good point! About how you can now use the terms for Grandma or Grandpa.... When DS came along, then I could then use Grandma and Grandpa which alleviated the issue a little bit!