How could they!?

[olena]

AWFUL! I hope your friend recovers and the humiliation doesn't persist or escalate.

It sounds like something that would have happened at my high school.

 

[SAHDad]

First, this goes beyond horrible, and people need to stand up more often and publicly state "This is wrong, and it needs to stop." (When I was in hs, the bullies could grind me down, but I feel there is a special place in **** for the "good people" who stood by, watched it happen, and did nothing. They chould have stopped it, or at least let me know that I wasn't alone, and they chose not to.)

Second, Columbine didn't happen because of things like this. There really wasn't a "goths vs jocks" thing going on, no Trenchcoat Mafia, etc. Instead, there was one textbook psychopath (Harris) and one suicidally depressed teen who latched on to the wrong "friend" (Klebold).

 

[LUCiD]

@golfgal: The teachers, principal, and the staff just stood there, not doing a darn thing!

 

[Sparx]

that happened to a kid when i was in the 10th grade. people are awful.

 

[sunnyday123]

@golfgal: The teachers, principal, and the staff just stood there, not doing a darn thing!

Are you kidding me?? His parents or someone should call the superintendant (sp) immediately. There is no way this should be overlooked and any adult who let's this happen or doesn't step in is just as guilty if not more so than those students who participated.

My daughter knows that if I ever found out she made fun of someone because of the way they look,dress, a disability, etc it would be a very bad day. I've drilled that into her from kindergarten on and will not tolerate anything less. Someone ( a few actually ) needs a foot up their nether regions.

Have you talked to your friend? How is he?

 

[Stacerita]

Im confused......so they nominated him, voted for him, and he won? Correct?

 

[rie'smom]

Im confused......so they nominated him, voted for him, and he won? Correct?

They did it to make a joke of the boy. It was done to hurt him not to honor him.

 

[shortbun]

Do the teachers/principals not know about this? This is horrible bullying and you know what?....homecoming should be cancelled. These children do not deserve a party if they are going to use it to torture someone. They should all be made ineligible for whatever activities they participate in as well. Bullying should be stopped immediately!!! Your friend needs you. His parents need to know what happened so they can help him. Rally as many nice kids around him as you can. Maybe your group could stage an alternative homecoming party and make sure he comes without having ANY of the mean kids there.
Good luck.

 

[livie1205]

I am not one of those parents that hover...I let my kids get their bumps BUT this stuff makes me sad that they are getting to be teens!!!This is awfull and someone should do something...I am sure he needs a friend right now....please be there for him.

 

[Emimy]

I've been "that kid" that people love to humiliate, and I can imagine what your friend is going through. Honestly, my whole life after high school I've struggled with myself as a person and have pretty bad anxiety because most of the time I can't bear people to look at me, just because my self esteem is so low. I'm slowly learning that I shouldn't care what people think, and if they don't like me then it's their problem.

When something similar happened to me, my friends didn't really know how to deal with it so they just pretended like it didn't happen. I'd say just be there for him, talk to him, perhaps try and help him to see that he is better than these people with their petty, childish behaviour. Take him out and have fun, try and take his mind of what happened. None of my friends probably even remember when it happened to me 10 years ago, but I can still remember it vividly, and it still hurts.

Just for the record, since I've left school, the people who were mean to me are nothing now. They may have been popular and cool in high school, but the tables seem to have turned now

In the end, and after high school, he will meet different and better people. People like you who will accept him as a friend no matter what. I am confident in my group of friends because I know they love me for who I am, not what I look like or what I wear etc. I hope your friend feels better soon, I really do

 

[ericamanda01]

I am so sorry your friend is going through something like this. Just be there for him and remind him that for many of those that are cruel and mean in high school, they will peak there. They think they are so funny and never give a second thought to others feelings, but sadly these years will be the highlight of their lives.

 

[Disney Darling]

I've been "that kid" that people love to humiliate, and I can imagine what your friend is going through. Honestly, my whole life after high school I've struggled with myself as a person and have pretty bad anxiety because most of the time I can't bear people to look at me, just because my self esteem is so low. I'm slowly learning that I shouldn't care what people think, and if they don't like me then it's their problem.

When something similar happened to me, my friends didn't really know how to deal with it so they just pretended like it didn't happen. I'd say just be there for him, talk to him, perhaps try and help him to see that he is better than these people with their petty, childish behaviour. Take him out and have fun, try and take his mind of what happened. None of my friends probably even remember when it happened to me 10 years ago, but I can still remember it vividly, and it still hurts.

Just for the record, since I've left school, the people who were mean to me are nothing now. They may have been popular and cool in high school, but the tables seem to have turned now

In the end, and after high school, he will meet different and better people. People like you who will accept him as a friend no matter what. I am confident in my group of friends because I know they love me for who I am, not what I look like or what I wear etc. I hope your friend feels better soon, I really do

to you Emimy. I too was one of the people the other kids loved to humiliate(as were my siblings, we didn't stand a chance). I was a lower income kid from a single parent home, living in the wrong town going to a school in a rich area w/ well to do kids.

Kids are cruel!! Heck, many times the teachers can be just as cruel. It's almost like it's important for them to also be liked by "the popular kids" so at times they join in with picking on the easy target.

The good news is, when I got away and met new people, I became accepted and well liked as did my siblings.

It was hard for me to trust that for A LONG TIME, though, being accepted. It's hard to trust people after always being the easy target to be picked on and I always felt insecure like they're going to make friends with me just to humiliate me in the end or in the end they really won't like me once they know what a loser I am (that's always what I was told by the bullies). Happily, that wasn't the case and the older I get and the more I'm accepted, the easier it becomes to trust. But, you always seem to carry those feelings of insecurities with you that were planted long ago at a young impressionable age, even if they are just in the back of your mind.

When you're in the situation, in high school, and that's the only life you know as you haven't been able to experience the better life you'll have, it's hard to imagine things WILL ever get better but they REALLY REALLY will.

OP, you are a good friend!! But it's vitally important for you to be the best friend ever to your friend right now (which I'm sure you are). His esteem and dignity have been battered and what is a person, really, without their dignity? Please just surround him with love at this time. It also might help if he can talk to someone, like a counselor or something.

I wish I could talk to him and tell him that things WILL get better that there REALLY is life after the hell of high school.

 

[pigletgirl]

What a horrible thing!

I hope your administration at your school takes action.

 

[Tuffcookie]

This is something that should be addressed NOW. I can't believe someone in authority allowed that to continue. I'm picturing this young man as one that is considered a "nerd" for lack of a better word. Now if you were a teacher/principal and you saw this kid and knew he wasn't in the "popular" crowd and you saw his name on the printed out ballot wouldn't you think they would know something was up and step in? Haven't we had enough publicity about bullying and all forms it takes to recognize it and stop it dead in it's tracks? This is something I feel very strongly about. I can't imagine how that young person must have felt and is still feeling. This makes me angry just thinking about it!

You hear everyday of the consequences of these kind of "pranks".

TC

 

[EMom]

to you Emimy. I too was one of the people the other kids loved to humiliate(as were my siblings, we didn't stand a chance). I was a lower income kid from a single parent home, living in the wrong town going to a school in a rich area w/ well to do kids.

Kids are cruel!! Heck, many times the teachers can be just as cruel. It's almost like it's important for them to also be liked by "the popular kids" so at times they join in with picking on the easy target.

The good news is, when I got away and met new people, I became accepted and well liked as did my siblings.

I wish I could talk to him and tell him that things WILL get better that there REALLY is life after the hell of high school.

I was just talking about this yesterday with friends. About how some kids peak in HS and that's the highlight of their lives, some you never notice in HS yet they become great successes, etc. I was popular in HS, but what I'd call "A-List, but not A+-List." Meaning, not a cheerleader, but best buds with them. I was too blunt and not kiss-hiney enough to be A+ List. And if you were rude and hateful, I'd tell you to your face and that didn't endear me to some people. That level of popularity stayed with me throughout college, etc.

A few stories:

1. In law school, a good friend of mine (very pretty girl) found out my home town and asked me if I knew a certain guy. I said, "Oh yeah....He was a year younger than me and followed me around from the time he was a freshman until I graduated." She was stunned. In HS, he had been nice enough looking, extremely funny, intelligent and I did like him. But there was no way I'd go out with a guy a year younger than me. And he flirted with me a lot, but was too terrified to ever ask me out. Come to find out, when he went to university (with my law school friend) no one knew him there. He got a fresh start, made the best use of his humor and smarts (and decent enough looks) and became the absolute most popular guy at the college. My friend was beyond impressed that the Campus Studmuffin had crushed on me for years. I was beyond impressed that he had reinvented himself and made the most of the opportunity. Good for him!

2. A girl in my class who was soooooo shy, very socially awkward and let me be blunt....not that pretty, came up to me at the 10 year reunion. I'd always been nice to her, unlike some. She had gone in the service after HS, gained a LOT of confidence and assertiveness, learned how to fix her hair and put on makeup, and was a delight to be with. She had blossomed into a happy, outgoing woman and I was thrilled for her.

3. A girl who was a year younger than me and mean to the point of being evil, got hers in the end. Literally. She was so cruel to some people. She wouldn't take on people like me, who would give it right back. No, she picked on those who could be victimized. She didn't count on those of us who had known those kids since kindergarten having their backs, but we did. She was reasonably popular in HS and kind of cute. After HS, she must have put on 150 pounds and most of it was below the waist. Don't get me wrong. I'm not making fun of people who gain weight, because lord knows I did too. But she was such an *** to people that it seemed fitting that she grew this gargantuan rear end with a life of its own after HS. That put a stop to her making fun of people.

4. As a HS freshman, I got a date with a junior who was the most popular guy in the entire HS. Long story, but someone set the whole thing in motion and it just happened. I thought God had given me the greatest gift ever to let me go on a date with Mr. Perfect. I was the envy of every girl in school from 12-18. Ten minutes into the date, I realized the fantasy I had built up in no way resembled reality. He was gorgeous, but as dumb as a box of rocks. And very pleased with himself. And sooooo ready and willing to talk about himself. It was a valuable lesson that I am glad I learned early. Be careful what you wish for. I guess the second lesson was....Things/People aren't always what they appear to be. All I knew was, I had to spend the entire evening with him and I had no idea how I was going to last. But from then on, I didn't tend to idolize guys. Good looks were nice, but I withheld judgment until I could see if they had something on the inside too. Looks fade.....Go to any HS reunion and you'll see that. It's the character and personality that matter.

I am still friends with some of the A-Listers and A+-Listers I knew from HS. But once HS was over, when I went back home to visit, I found myself chatting with old classmates that I had not neccesarily been best friends with. We'd been friendly, but not close. Maybe they'd been shy, so they'd been less popular. But once they got out of school, they came out of their shell and became very enjoyable to spend time with. And once 5-10 years MAX has passed, no one cares if you were a cheerleader or quarterback anyway. No one asks if you were the most popular kid in school. They care about what kind of person you are NOW.

Truth be told, DH was so shy in HS that if we'd gone to the same school, I'd have never given him the time of day. He knows it and I know it. We met at college and he'd gotten a bit bolder by trying very hard to make friends. What a loss to ME if I had judged him by his "popularity quotient" in HS. I've had 20+ great years with him and I don't give a rat's hiney that he was not the football star or BMOC at his school. He's a wonderful husband and father and that's what matters.

Your friend sounds worth more than 100 of the people who "voted" for him. The are the true losers, not him. You know the girl I wrote about who grew the huge rear end? What your classmates did sounds EXACTLY like something she would have masterminded...... See why I couldn't stand her? It never ends....Some people derive joy from being mean and some follow. Good, true friends stand by their buddies like you are doing. And they will remember that.

 

[C.Ann]

How cruel..

He's lucky to have you as a friend though..

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Second, Columbine didn't happen because of things like this. There really wasn't a "goths vs jocks" thing going on, no Trenchcoat Mafia, etc. Instead, there was one textbook psychopath (Harris) and one suicidally depressed teen who latched on to the wrong "friend" (Klebold).

I was gonna say the same thing but you beat me to it. Klebold and Harris were not bullied. They had friends and were sort of popular.That's a misconception that will probably never die.

As far as your friend goes, my heart goes out to him. High school is hell. Unfortunately, he will probably remember that horrible day for the rest of his life. And that breaks my heart. At least he has a friend in you. I know it's a heavy burden to have to carry, but this really should be reported to a guidance counselor, even if its anonymous. This poor kid should not have to endure this sick bullying.

 

[manning]

Where were the teachers and principal? If they were there and did nothing they are a sad case.

I had a cousin who was a principal and he never stood for anything like this. He would have called a halt to it right then and there and then proceed to dress everyone down.

It's a shame society is going in the wrong direction.

I congratulate you for doing what you did. With friends like her who needs enemys. I'm sure you will have no regrets writing her off.

Give him all the support you can.

 

[manning]

@golfgal: The teachers, principal, and the staff just stood there, not doing a darn thing!

It looks like there are some teachers, staff and a principal who need to be replaced. Make sure this gets around in hopes the parents get wind of it so the have may decide to go to a board meeting or two to demand action.

If there isn't any, vote the board out!!


Also if there are anti-bullying laws on the books the teachers, staff and principal could be in a world of hurt if they don't do anything about it.