!$%&& how can such a smart kid make such a dopey decision?!

[LuvOrlando]

So I just checked my 12 year old son's grades on-line. He has nothing but 100's on tests and quizzes in Spanish class yet he has a 82 average. WHY does this kid have an 82? Because he was laboring under the impression that is was OK to SKIP homework in his language class so he can devote more time to Math, a class in which he has a 95 because Math is 'More important'. Arggghhhhh. My son totally did not hand in 2 easy peesy homework assignments because he was studying for Math instead and lost 18 points because of it.

Please heaven help me speak in language these kids can understand

Did I mention Arggghhhhh already?

I need to take deep breaths and count to 10.

 

[Magpie]

So I just checked my 12 year old son's grades on-line. He has nothing but 100's on tests and quizzes in Spanish class yet he has a 82 average. WHY does this kid have an 82? Because he was laboring under the impression that is was OK to SKIP homework in his language class so he can devote more time to Math, a class in which he has a 95 because Math is 'More important'. Arggghhhhh. My son totally did not hand in 2 easy peesy homework assignments because he was studying for Math instead and lost 28 points because of it.

Please heaven help me speak in language these kids can understand

Did I mention Arggghhhhh already?

I need to take deep breaths and count to 10.

Honestly, I'd let him make the decisions and reap the consequences. If he's happy with an 82 in Spanish - AND he's actually learning the language - then deciding to spend his time on Math is his choice to make.

If it really bothers you, why don't you see if you can help him organize his time so that he can manage to get all of his work done over the course of a week? Make sure he's not procrastinating and putting things off until the last moment, or playing video games when he should be working. But also keep in mind that sometimes it really does come down to a choice of "Either I can do this tonight, or I can do that," and hard decisions have to be made. In that case, Math probably does take priority, and you can offer to write him a note explaining that the Spanish work will be in a day late.

Of course, I'm coming at this from a slightly different perspective. First off - anything over 80 percent is an A in my school district - it's considered to be "Exceeds Expectations", with grades in the 70's being "Meets Expectations". The way the rubrics work, a "9" (90%) is pretty much the best you can get.

Secondly - I'm jealous that you can check your kids grades online! I'm completely at the mercy of my kids and their teachers to tell me what's going on. Which is why I was blindsided last week when MY 12yo son's English teacher called to tell me that he was failing.

We've been working our butts off all weekend to get him caught up. I'll be doing a happy dance if I can get him up to "meets expectations".

 

[Hannathy]

I applaud him for making that decision. I think he has realized the priorities in his life and is doing what works. Depending on what he wants to do in college it CAN be more important that he get the A in math. It is also very important that you not fall behind in Math and that you understand every step or you will be screwed up down the road. So maybe it WAS more critical that he put more time and effort into Math at his point.

He is doing exactly what I've taught my kids to do and that is prioritize and do the most important first and work your way down. I think it is great he was able to do this. (and what I would have told my kids to do ) I would always have them sacrifice a For. Language grade over Math or Science or English.

So no help from me I think he made a great choice

 

[msmayor]

I applaud him for making that decision. I think he has realized the priorities in his life and is doing what works. Depending on what he wants to do in college it CAN be more important that he get the A in math. It is also very important that you not fall behind in Math and that you understand every step or you will be screwed up down the road. So maybe it WAS more critical that he put more time and effort into Math at his point.

He is doing exactly what I've taught my kids to do and that is prioritize and do the most important first and work your way down. I think it is great he was able to do this. (and what I would have told my kids to do ) I would always have them sacrifice a For. Language grade over Math or Science or English.

So no help from me I think he made a great choice

He's only 12. Those grades will mean squat by the time he's ready for college. His ability to learn to manage ALL of his homework is a more important skill at this age, because by the time they get to high school habits are already formed.

My kids have always been taught NEVER to skip homework. In our district, the quality of the answers is not graded...only that they worked and attempted all of the work. Its FREE points to help the average, and can save a kid who struggles on a test or quiz.

Would you set a $50 bill on fire and watch it burn? No...because that's a waste of money. This is precisely why our kids to their homework...because its a waste of points not to.

 

[minkydog]

Oh, I hear you loud and clear. My oldest, DS24, used to go to his teachers in HS and tell them about his "no homework policy." He never did the first bit of homework and his grades purely SUCKED. He barely graduated! And yet, he's a very well-read young man, very intelligent, but he didn't "get" that you have to play the game. Sheesh. No wonder I have gray hair.

All that said, I wouldn't be toooo hard on your boy. A nice solid 82 in foreign language isn't too shabby at all. He's 12. Probably time to let him reap what he sows. I take it he's used to making good grades without a lot o effort. Maybe now is the time to let him see how that's working out.

 

[Hannathy]

Sorry but I still disagree. If he wants to go into engineering or a science he probably wants to take advanced math in High school and in our district the only way you can get all the advanced math courses in is do good in middle school so you get put into the accelerated path.

Sometimes there isn't time for everything and you do prioritize. Even in school.

 

[Cinderella94]

Sorry but I still disagree. If he wants to go into engineering or a science he probably wants to take advanced math in High school and in our district the only way you can get all the advanced math courses in is do good in middle school so you get put into the accelerated path.

Sometimes there isn't time for everything and you do prioritize. Even in school.

A 12 year old's workload in school should not come down to prioritizing one subject over the other. At this point, they're still learning time management skills, and no 12 year old is getting so much work that they have to pick one assignment over the other. They should be learning how to make time for it all.

My brother is 12 and I'm a senior in HS taking 4 AP classes, so I do know and understand the need to prioritize. But not in 7th (I'm assuming) grade.

 

[HeatherH]

Sorry, but if my kid had to skip two "easy peasy" homework assignments in order to make more time to study for math, then he would need some help in better organizing his time.

There are just no excuses for not turning homework in. I'm with the OP, obviously the kid knows the subject well, so if he has to work an extra 15 minutes to complete the Spanish homework, then that's what he has to do. I can accept if a child does his/her best and works hard and gets whatever grade, but to purposely just skip homework because he needs the time to study for another class...just means he needs to spend more time working on homework. There is no excuse for him not to be getting an A in a class like that. Better he learn that lesson NOW rather than when he is in high school

 

[SAHDad]

Oh, I hear you loud and clear. My oldest, DS24, used to go to his teachers in HS and tell them about his "no homework policy." He never did the first bit of homework and his grades purely SUCKED. He barely graduated! And yet, he's a very well-read young man, very intelligent, but he didn't "get" that you have to play the game. Sheesh. No wonder I have gray hair.

All that said, I wouldn't be toooo hard on your boy. A nice solid 82 in foreign language isn't too shabby at all. He's 12. Probably time to let him reap what he sows. I take it he's used to making good grades without a lot o effort. Maybe now is the time to let him see how that's working out.

I had something close to a no homework policy, but FWIW, my school essentially encouraged it. I took a full course load, and thus should have had something close to four or five hours of homework per night. But, homework never counted for more than 10% or so of the grade. And since grades were not weighted, I could bust my chops in an attempt for perfect marks at honors English, and hope that I was doing better than someone who chose to take basic English instead, since it was much easier.

When homework was actually required, I did it. But a lot of what was assigned was busywork - and, busywork that had to be done a certain way. If the teacher(s) did not like the solution to a problem (even if it was a correct solution and answer, but not the method they taught, nor one required by the assignment), then it scored the same as having done it. (Eg, one English assignment was to write a poem. I wrote, IIRC, a sonnet - but the teacher was looking for some other type of verse, even though it was not indicated on the assignment, nor mentioned in class.)

 

[Magpie]

A 12 year old's workload in school should not come down to prioritizing one subject over the other. At this point, they're still learning time management skills, and no 12 year old is getting so much work that they have to pick one assignment over the other. They should be learning how to make time for it all.

My brother is 12 and I'm a senior in HS taking 4 AP classes, so I do know and understand the need to prioritize. But not in 7th (I'm assuming) grade.

That's not quite true. Due to my son's difficulties with writing, he sometimes had to prioritize. (He's 12, in eighth grade.) Except for recently (when he was doing catch up and working for hours, entirely his own fault!), I will usually limit his homework to two solid hours a night. Anything over that will be turned in late.

Everyone needs downtime in the evening. If I was working all day, and then had to come home and work all night... I'd find a new job. It's okay for the occasional work-around-the-clock deadline, but it can't go on indefinitely.

That said, I agree that if the child is organizing his time badly, then he definitely needs help.

 

[Mkrop]

DS13 is in 7th grade and right now all his grades in EVERY subject are critical as he is getting ready for track placement in HS and possible scholarship opportunities (if he chooses private HS). His general GPA is very important now and will be looked at very closely as well as his standardized test scores. I would not be too happy if he ignored easy peasy homework. Every day we are working on time management skills because of all the time his sports, especially football, takes up.

 

[ENSOCK]

Did you look at him and tell him "good try?" My DS16 tried that at that age also. We would pull our hair out. The best thing was grades posted on the internet. since he knew we were looking everynight and he had things taken away ie cell phone, tv, truck for not doing his easy peasy homework, his grades and homework assignments both came up. He still gets lazy every now and then but he knows what will happen for not doing his work.

 

[marcyinPA]

Sounds like my 15 year old. Nothing but 100%'s in English, except for one zero for a missed homework that he simply "forgot"... He now has an 85%. I continue to tell him that it's not his ability that is the problem, it's his responsibility. Ticks me off. But I can't do anything more than what I'm doing.

 

[Longsx3]

How about this "A ZERO is unacceptable". That is the rule in our house, if DD (14) was to ever just not do an assignment then there would be consequences. This has been our rule since she was little and she has always followed it. At this point I think she would feel almost embarrassed by not having an assignment.

 

[mhsjax]

How about this "A ZERO is unacceptable". That is the rule in our house, if DD (14) was to ever just not do an assignment then there would be consequences. This has been our rule since she was little and she has always followed it. At this point I think she would feel almost embarrassed by not having an assignment.

Problem is, you have a girl. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. Boys are different, my Dr calls it boy brain. She has 6 boys all in college or older.

OP, My son has the same problem he is 13 and in pre AP classes. He sometimes just forgets to do homework or turn it in. Consequences don't matter to a boy with boy brain. It works for a little while but then boy brain comes back again.

I asked my pediatrician about this, she laughed and told me you know how all babies start out as XX and to become a boy it becomes XY, well the part that falls off to become the Y is their brain, and not to worry, it grows back eventually. Like I said she has 6. Almost everyone I have talked to, especially ones that are smart, seem to have this problem. It is like their brain just isn't in gear yet.

 

[PrincessBelle09]

It sounds like he needs a little help with time management. Look at the bright side here: He skipped homework for one class in which he knew he was doing very well to STUDY more for another class that he was not as confident about and typically does have more academic value. That's still fairly good reasoning. And other folks are right, these grades are not going to matter very long. He has some time to tweak his decision making process and learn how to manage all of his assignments before he gets to high school where his grades will truly affect his future.

 

[hereyago]

He's only 12. Those grades will mean squat by the time he's ready for college.


Not all grades would be squat if the OP's school does this like with my dd12. She is in 7th grade, takes French 1, if she gets a C or lower, she has to repeat it next year. The reason why? Foreign languages and Algebra 1 in middle school will go towards high school. So she passes French 1 and she will take French 2 and then have to pass that in order to get 1 full credit for high school.

And our state is thinking of adding more credits for the standard diploma. it isn't so easy anymore to say grades don't matter.

Whoever thought of the online grading thing rocks!!!!!!!!! It started last year for us when DD was in 6th grade. As for missing homework. Our school has detention for 2 or more missing assignments.

 

[frostywolf]

I feel for you, but I don't have kids so I can't really empathize. I will say, though, I'm sure I was a nightmare at your son's age.

I don't believe I did math homework from 6th grade all the way through high school. Math was incredibly easy for me, homework was pointless. If, on the off chance I had trouble with a concept, I worked through some problems on my own in class, but once I had it, I had it. I didn't need the repetition to help me learn it.

This caused MAJOR problems for me in 6th grade. My teacher gave me detentions, had my mom in for conferences and finally told me that she couldn't put me in pre-algebra in 7th grade, because I wouldn't be able to keep up if I didn't have good homework skills. So, I didn't take pre-algebra until 8th grade. Guess what? Never did homework, test average was over 100%.

In high school, my math teachers for Algebra I, II, Geometry and Calculus all seemed to glance over the fact that I didn't do any math homework. Every class had an average of between 99 and 103. If they called on me to go do a homework problem on the blackboard, I didn't have a problem. In Geometry, my sophomore year, lots of students seemed to have trouble grasping concepts, so while the teacher would be going over homework problems, I would be going from desk to desk for those that still weren't understanding it.

Only class I got burned? Trigonometry. This teacher did very thorough notebook checks, and he didn't give an inch. Only ended up with a B or C in that class, and it was all from my lack of completed homework in the notebook.

I'm not condoning that behavior, but I know I must have given my parents ulcers. Lot's of conflict over homework when I was young.

 

[marcyinPA]

Problem is, you have a girl. I have 2 boys and 1 girl. Boys are different, my Dr calls it boy brain. She has 6 boys all in college or older.

OP, My son has the same problem he is 13 and in pre AP classes. He sometimes just forgets to do homework or turn it in. Consequences don't matter to a boy with boy brain. It works for a little while but then boy brain comes back again.

I asked my pediatrician about this, she laughed and told me you know how all babies start out as XX and to become a boy it becomes XY, well the part that falls off to become the Y is their brain, and not to worry, it grows back eventually. Like I said she has 6. Almost everyone I have talked to, especially ones that are smart, seem to have this problem. It is like their brain just isn't in gear yet.

Yes. Absolutely.

 

[marcyinPA]

How about this "A ZERO is unacceptable". That is the rule in our house, if DD (14) was to ever just not do an assignment then there would be consequences. This has been our rule since she was little and she has always followed it. At this point I think she would feel almost embarrassed by not having an assignment.

What kind of consequences would you give?

I believe in natural consequences. You don't do your homework, or you forget. You get a zero. Your grade is lowered. That is your consequence.

My DS does not enjoy getting mediocre grades. It does upset him. He'll learn eventually! (at least I hope so!). Taking away his iPod or his cell phone is not going to make his memory return. Believe me, we've tried it!