How can I ease DS's fears?

[Sonya]

DS is not quite 3. Being in the mid-west we have a lot of spring thunderstorms and the last of March and start of April have been bad. We have had tornado warnings and hail storms. DS has become afraid of rain, lightning, and most of all, thunder.

Most of the time we can talk him into rationality. But lately things have gotten worse. We went to WDW and were sleeping in the same room and he got used to it. So we are trying to get him on a routiene again. Also, we went on the Pooh ride and he FREAKED when the rain part came. He is now afraid of he dark as well as thunder.

Now every night he asks "no booms mommy?" He is so afraid he wants me to stay in the room until he falls asleep. I know how he feels, I was afraid at that age too. But I also know he needs to be able to sooth himself. We have tried letting him cry, talking to him, staying in the room for a bit, and nothing seems to be working to make it better. How can I make him not be afraid of thunder? We will be getting more, thunderstorms are a sure bet around here.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have a 15yodd that is still afraid... Seriously people develop "phobic" behavior over snakes, spiders, thunder, lightening, mice, etc....

The only way to stop it is to have them face it or have them feel they have some control. So, how could you do that with a 3yo???

How about a "fantasy" approach, since he is 3. A "special blanket" with a "Superhero" on it? A toy that makes him feel powerful. Something along those lines might help for now.

 

[Sonya]

We have tried the lovey thing, maybe we didn't do it wiell enough. Maybe it needs to be magic. Mickey watches over him as he sleeps but that is not enough.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't know...It has been awhile since I have had that age. 3 is the age that children really start to feel vulnerable...they are "alone" in the their room.
I think healthy doses of reinforcing protection will help and time.

 

[Parkers_girl]

I went through hurricane andrew down in miami when i was only 7. I was pretty much terrified of anything that had to do with storms til I was bout 12ish. Even if it would start raining I would freak out and cry. Let alone when it would thunder and lightning.My parents took my to pyschiatrists cuz they thought i was nuts for freaking out during storms..but i grew out of it on my own. He will also grow out of it. In the meantime just talk to him like you have been doing. Maybe give him a special box of toys and activities that he can do during a storm to get his mind off of what is going on. After awhile he will realize that storms happen and no matter what, his mommy and daddy will be there to protect him. My grandma used to comfort me this way and helped so much. good luck and i hope things start going a little bit smoother.

 

[Becky2005]

I feel for you! I've had to do this with my 9 year old thanks to our Disney World trip! GRRR! (I got seperated from the rest of the family in a bad thunderstorm! Now, he freaks when it rains - but he's older and I just have to get overly logical with him but it doesn't make it any easier! Plus the thought of a tornado when it gets especially eerie throws him into a tizzy!)

My DD doesn't particularly like thunder & lightening either, especially when she was little. I read once that someone used the line about "Angels bowling" for thunder...I used that. Then we would make up this entire story about their bowling adventure - we did that for one storm and then for other storms, I just used the "oh maybe the angels are bowling" - it only worked for a short period of time but hey it worked long enough for her to figure out a way to sooth herself.

You may have already tried that avenue but if not, see if it will work - doesn't have to be angels, make it up a story where the thunder is either neutral or the thunder itself is the superhero.

Other than that, just hang in there.

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I went through the same thing when my nephew was 8 and he lived with us for a year and just a little bit ago with my DD4----I took them both outside and we stood in the rain while the storm was going on and we splashed through puddles till we were drenched.---I made both of them face their fears=my nephew it took a couple of times to get him to loosen up enough to enjoy himself plus the one thing I did that my DH said I was horrible for was having the car break down===Not really I just told my nephew the car broke down about a 1/2 mile from home and we walked thru the rain jumping up to grab the rain soaked tree branches and letting them go just as the other one came under it to try and get each other wet,scooping water out of puddles with our hands and throwing it at each other,just stuff like that but I have to say it worked because both he and my DD have no fear of "thunderboomers" at all.

We live just across the border from you so I know exactly what you're talking about--maybe something like Saturday night?!-LOL!

Also same as the above poster do the whole angels bowling story and teach him the song about the old man who fell out of bed!

 

[Aidensmom]

Your description sounds like my son, down to the very last detail.

When he was 2, a tree came through our roof during a thunderstorm. He has also been through a couple of hurricanes. I will admit, my storm phobia is now almost as bad as his after those same experiences!

The advice I have, always let him know you understand, and that you are there to keep him as safe as you can. Don't ever minimize the fear, it is very real.

My son was afraid of ANY rain or wind. I did hold his hand and help him stand outside on some windy days to see that it was OK, as well as take walks with him in the rain (with an umbrella) to show him that rain is not a big deal.

I do believe it is OK to teach the difference between storms and regular wind and rain. There ARE precautions we should take during bad storms, and that is something that is not a bad thing to understand. But we do need to teach that not every breeze or raindrop is something to cause anxiety. It actually took a couple of years, and I do thing some anxiety is still there, but my son, on windy days now wants to fly a kite rather than hiding in a corner. He does still tell me he is being "brave" when he is in the wind though, so I know it does still bother him on some level. I always try to do my best to reasurre him.

 

[golfgal]

When our kids went through this, they all did, we found it helped to read books and watch shows about tornadoes, etc., not the shows that talked about all the damage but shows/books that talked about how the storms form, etc.

 

[Sonya]

Thanks everyone. This is making him so scared that his tummy hurts. We will try telling him stories and DH want to take him outside while it rains but I don't know if he will make it to the door. In the meantime I guess bedtime will be a long and drawn out affair.