Houston etiquette questions update post 53

[Katie's Butterflies]

I am going to Texas in a few weeks for a family reunion type thing. I have never met any of these people. It should be really interesting! However, I know nothing about Texas and its cultures. All I know is that California and Texas are quite different in regards to people. (or so I've been told)

So, here come my silly (and probably obvious) questions

• What is the weather like mid-March?
• Will I have to wear a dress at all times?
• Is it rude if I do not take off a hat inside? (I have illness related hair loss).
• Anything else I should know?

Pretty much all of these people are from Texas. Several of them are very religious as well. I do know enough to stay away from conversations about religion and politics.

I am a very shy individual with poor (read no) social skills about to enter a very big social event. Any help is greatly appreciated!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just go and be yourself.

 

[NotUrsula]

The weather mid-March in Houston is likely to be sweater weather; upper 50's/low 60's. They could get a cold snap, though; bring gloves and a fleece.

As long as the event is not formal (like perhaps a church wedding or a gala 50th anniversary party) no one is likely to expect you to wear a dress. Even if it is a bit dressy, professional-type trousers will be fine. (The exception would be actual Pentecostal church services, where all women are expected to wear dresses and keep their arms and collarbones covered.) What they will probably expect you to wear is makeup -- not necessarily a lot, but it is unusual in that part of the country for an adult woman to go totally without it.

Assuming you are female (kinda figured from the dress question ), no one will expect you to remove a hat indoors. However, a baseball cap is appropriate only at a jeans and sweats kind of party. If it is dressier than that, wear an appropriate dressier hat.

As for the other things you should know, only one springs instantly to mind: the name of the city is Houston, and you don't pronounce the H -- it's pronounced U-STUN, accent on the first syllable. (They won't lynch you if you say it wrong, but they will appreciate it if you say it correctly.)

You're right about the religion and politics. Just keep a low profile until you figure out which way the wind blows in this crowd on those topics.

 

[ToddyLu]

Southern folks generally have a way of making strangers feel comfortable. Several of them will single you out and make polite conversation so you know you are welcome to the event. They will appreciate your answers and some form of polite return conversation...not much. They may also hug you...it is an acceptable friendly gesture and not meant to make you uncomfortable. Smile. Texans are not so different from those of us in Hospitable Mississippi. It is polite to try several things on your plate. Yes M'am, No M'am, Thank you M'am, Please. Always go up to the person hosting the event and tell them you had a good time, lie if you have too. Thank you for inviting me the party was lovely is sufficient.

DH just came in and asked me what I was typing...I explained to him that you were going to Texas....He said what ever she does "tell her not to pee on the Alamo".....OK just a little humor there...but that is my DH for ya.

 

[ToddyLu]

Believe me we are far more interested in folks from California than they are of us. They will say a blessing and probably hold hands around the table or something to start the festivities. You will be fine, can you come back with a trip report?

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Just go and be yourself.

Thanks, always good advice… I’m just a bit nervous, that’s all.

Believe me we are far more interested in folks from California than they are of us. They will say a blessing and probably hold hands around the table or something to start the festivities. You will be fine, can you come back with a trip report?

Thanks for the heads up.
I don’t think my trip report would be very interesting lol, but I’ll find out. Of course, with my dad around, we’ll probably have quite an adventure. Something always happens when he travels. lol

 

[Kathi OD]

Just my experience from visiting family in Houston...doesn't matter what time of year I go, it's ALWAYS humid there. Be prepared to face the humidity.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

As for the other things you should know, only one springs instantly to mind: the name of the city is Houston, and you don't pronounce the H -- it's pronounced U-STUN, accent on the first syllable. (They won't lynch you if you say it wrong, but they will appreciate it if you say it correctly.)

Thanks for pointing this out. I would have never noticed my title. I can’t believe I mistyped it! I used spell check too! I promise, I do know how to spell Houston. lol

The weather mid-March in Houston is likely to be sweater weather; upper 50's/low 60's. They could get a cold snap, though; bring gloves and a fleece.

Thanks! That sounds just perfect!

As long as the event is not formal (like perhaps a church wedding or a gala 50th anniversary party) no one is likely to expect you to wear a dress. Even if it is a bit dressy, professional-type trousers will be fine. (The exception would be actual Pentecostal church services, where all women are expected to wear dresses and keep their arms and collarbones covered.)

I do not believe there will be a church service, though I’m not completely sure. I do know though that most of these relatives are Southern Baptists.

This reunion is taking place because one of my relatives is turning 90 and in poor health. My dad and I have not met many of our relatives on his mom’s side, and apparently we aren’t the only ones who have become distant relatives over the years. I think most of the socializing will be in homes with one big gathering somewhere.

What they will probably expect you to wear is makeup -- not necessarily a lot, but it is unusual in that part of the country for an adult woman to go totally without it.

Makeup?! That might be a problem… lol The last time I wore makeup was when I was 7 and performing a ballet recital.

Assuming you are female (kinda figured from the dress question ), no one will expect you to remove a hat indoors. However, a baseball cap is appropriate only at a jeans and sweats kind of party. If it is dressier than that, wear an appropriate dressier hat.

The hat I usually wear for restaurants and such is a fleece kind of newsboy hat. It’s semi-dressy. I love that hat.

You're right about the religion and politics. Just keep a low profile until you figure out which way the wind blows in this crowd on those topics.

I have friends from all sides of the spectrum and so I know how to redirect things and make very non-committal sounds.

 

[Katie's Butterflies]

Just my experience from visiting family in Houston...doesn't matter what time of year I go, it's ALWAYS humid there. Be prepared to face the humidity.

Just got to love that humidity. Thanks for the heads up.

Southern folks generally have a way of making strangers feel comfortable. Several of them will single you out and make polite conversation so you know you are welcome to the event. They will appreciate your answers and some form of polite return conversation...not much. They may also hug you...it is an acceptable friendly gesture and not meant to make you uncomfortable. Smile. Texans are not so different from those of us in Hospitable Mississippi. It is polite to try several things on your plate. Yes M'am, No M'am, Thank you M'am, Please. Always go up to the person hosting the event and tell them you had a good time, lie if you have too. Thank you for inviting me the party was lovely is sufficient.

I have heard of southern hospitality, I’m just worried about insulting someone unintentionally. An incident in Ireland concerning potatoes comes to mind…:

DH just came in and asked me what I was typing...I explained to him that you were going to Texas....He said what ever she does "tell her not to pee on the Alamo".....OK just a little humor there...but that is my DH for ya.

I’ll make sure not to pee on the Alamo. Thank you husband for the heads up! Lol

 

[HunnyPots]

A dress at all times??? I've lived in Texas all my life and I don't even own a dress!

 

[Planogirl]

A dress at all times??? I've lived in Texas all my life and I don't even own a dress!

I only own one, a cocktail dress and I lived in Houston most of my adult life!

OP, just relax and be yourself. It's rare to see much formality in Houston.

 

[EMom]

I have to disagree about the way Houston is pronounced. DH's family lived there for nearly 50 years and we lived in the area for a good 15. I have many relatives from the area. Between living in the area and visiting the relatives, we heard thousands of native Houstonians pronounce "Houston." I never heard "U-stun." You hear the H when it is said. The first syllable is like the word "you" only with an H in front of it. So....HYOU-stun. Even the Mayor of Houston says "HYOU-stun." I'm sure some people don't pronounce the H, but they must have hidden for the 15 years we lived there and the 50 DH's family there.

BTW......Southern Baptists.....not big drinkers....if they're following the rules. Don't bring wine as a gift until you see someone else do it first and get a positive reaction.

If they know you have a medical condition that causes hair loss, you could wear the most hideous, enormous hat in the world and no one would say a word. That would be rude.

Check the weather report right before you go. It could be very cold if they get a cold snap or it could be in the 80s. You never know. But it will be humid.

Have fun!

 

[Boston Tea Party]

I have to disagree about the way Houston is pronounced. DH's family lived there for nearly 50 years and we lived in the area for a good 15. I have many relatives from the area. Between living in the area and visiting the relatives, we heard thousands of native Houstonians pronounce "Houston." I never heard "U-stun." You hear the H when it is said. The first syllable is like the word "you" only with an H in front of it. So....HYOU-stun. Even the Mayor of Houston says "HYOU-stun." I'm sure some people don't pronounce the H, but they must have hidden for the 15 years we lived there and the 50 DH's family there.

I've been in and right outside of Hyou-ston since 1980. I always pronounce the H.

Now Humble is a different story. That would be Umble.


Couldn't imagine a sweater or fleece in March, either, but it has been a cold winter.

 

[Kies99]

Please, please, PLEASE tell me you are not serious?!?!

I can't even read the rest of the posts after the 1st one. You are going from California to Texas. From one state to another.

You are not going to another country. You should not be so concerned about this.

It's Houston, not Paris or Rome or Moscow!

Sorry, don't mean to sound harsh but you need to relax a bit about this. I'm from Pittsburgh and my sister-in-law is from Houston. I wouldn't even think twice about what the "cultures" are.

 

[pogo791]

I have to disagree about the way Houston is pronounced. . . .The first syllable is like the word "you" only with an H in front of it. So....HYOU-stun.

Right.

Now if you were in New York and talking about the street in Manhattan, it's pronounced to rhyme with "house". I went around pronouncing it "Hyouston Street" before I was rapped over the knuckles by a cab driver.

Okay, end of digression. K. B., just be yourself and have fun. Shucks, people in Texas have seen lots of Californians on tv and know that they tend to act strange. Most Texans I know are pretty broad-minded about this.

 

[DizBelle]

I've been in and right outside of Hyou-ston since 1980. I always pronounce the H.

Now Humble is a different story. That would be Umble.


Couldn't imagine a sweater or fleece in March, either, but it has been a cold winter.

How about Kuykendahl (a road in Houston). Pronunced KIRK-en-doll. I have no idea where the R went from the name or came from in the pronunciation but that is how it is pronounced.

 

[MrsSpratt]

I am sixth generation Texan, living in Hyou-ston - I have also lived in Los Angeles.

A lady NEVER has to remove her hat indoors. (Gentlemen are of course, different...)

Weather in March can be gorgeous, or it can be nippy - come prepared.

I wouldn't worry too much about cultural differences - just be prepared for the fact that many Texans think (know?) they live in the greatest place ever - respect their right to that opinion, and you will be fine.

Let us know how the trip goes! You have me curious!

Most importantly - have a great time!

 

[Myothername]

The only thing I can add after living in Texas for 10 years is tell the native Texans that Texas is the most wonderful country in the world and they will love you forever.

 

[EMom]

How about Kuykendahl (a road in Houston). Pronunced KIRK-en-doll. I have no idea where the R went from the name or came from in the pronunciation but that is how it is pronounced.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I got this one! (Not that it will make much sense. )

I knew a bunch of Kuykendahls and I grew up in a completely different part of Texas. They also pronounced it KIRK-en-doll. The family had been in Texas since the mid-1800s and they'd said it that way at least since then. I believe it goes back to what I refer to as "say it fast enough and you'll swear you heard an R." Whether you say the Kuy part as Kai or something similar, if you run that together with en-doll enough times, it does begin to sound as if there is a soft R in there. But Texans don't like soft Rs, so we must have just made it more emphatic over the years. And if you say it with a drawl, you hear the nonexistent, but implied R even MORE.

At any rate, when even the Kuykendahls call themselves KIRK-en-dolls, I have to say that's good enough for me.

And yes, Humble is Umble.

 

[4greatboys]

[*]What is the weather like mid-March?

It's usually warm. Sometimes we have a cold front come through. Just bring a light jacket in case.

[*]Will I have to wear a dress at all times?
Women in Texas do not wear dresses all the time. Heck I rarely ever wear one. However depending on your friends religion some do wear dresses all the time.

[*]Is it rude if I do not take off a hat inside? (I have illness related hair loss).
Men are supposed to take their hats off inside, not ladies.


[*]Anything else I should know?

Nope. We are just like regular people everywhere else.