House Cleaner found my mother's will - WWYD? Update Post 98 p7

[JamesMom]

Hi,

I posted a week ago about how to invest the proceeds of my mom's estate, but this throws a wrench in the whole shabang...

1 - Mom died Feb 12
2 - We searched through paperwork and found no will
3 - Hire an attorney to probate her estate intestate
4 - So far 3 of the five grown children of my mom have signed paperwork giving me sole Adminstative duties (other 2 are forthcoming)
5 - The estate is to be split 5 ways.

But we hire a couple to clean out my mom's house to ready it for sale and they found a will just yesterday (April 2)

Some background on my family

- My mom married 3 times. First marriage had 2 kids who were raised by her mother, second marriage had 2 more kids she left with her ex-husband when they divorced. I am the only child of my dad (3rd husband) and the only one she raised through college.
-The only money my mom has is becuase of a law suit settlement on the wrongful death of my dad when I was 15. She has drawn on his social security.
-My oldest brother is an alchy and has been unemployed, willfully since last March and has been living on unemployment this whole time. He and my momdidn't always get along.
- My other siblings, including my brother mentioned above have not had a relationship with my mother for over twenty (if not thirty years) by mutal agreement. I have not met one of my silbings, and seen the others only a handful of times.
- My siblings had nothing to do with my mom for the last year of her life despite knowing her terminal illness. I had sole responsibility for her care. My oldest brother who lives 20 minutes from me ( and thus my mom) visited her four times during that last year - the last on her deathbed.
- I have a relationship with my oldest brother as much as his alcholoism will permit. We see each other at least monthly. If I honor the will our relationship will be destroyed unless I cut a deal.

Now - this is what the will says -

EVERYTHING is left to me as executor except for a car which she no longer owns going to my sister from my mom's first marriage. Nothing for any of the other siblings.

The will is notarized and witnessed and follows the convention required in the state of Texas. It was executed in 1987. At first glance, it should hold up in court as my mom's alz did not surface until mid 90s.

What do you do...

I am crying while typing this. I would kill my mom if she weren't already dead for doing this to me, lol

 

[DisneyMomx7]

It sounds like your siblings got the short end of the stick from your mom. I wouldn't add to their hurt by leaving them out of the estate.

 

[mom2val]

If it were me. I would file the will. Legally morally you have to.
Then I would take what ever cash there is and split it evenly. You can give each person I believe $13,000 each year as a tax free gift. This can be set up as a trust for them to get their share annually. Our if they want all their money at once you will need to figure out what taxes you will have to pay on the "gift" you give them and hold that back.

My family is going through this right now. My grandfather died and left everything to my brother. He cut out his 2 kids and the other 3 grandkids. It is destroying our family bc my brother refuses to give back anything to our Dad or our Dads sister and certainly nothing to me or my 2 cousins.

 

[Zeebs]

Would it not be illegal to withold the wills existence?

I would still spilt it between all the children, I agree with PP they sound like the got a rough deal.

Kirsten

 

[Mary•Poppins]

Wow ... what an issue. I really don't have any advice. I think what you decide will depend on how you envision your relationships with your family in the future. It sounds like you are the responsible person in your family (like me *sigh*) ... and it tends to be unfair.

Good luck with whatever you decide. If you do use the will, I would probably get the cleaning people to sign a legal paper documenting how, when and where they found the will.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I would give the will to your attorney. As sole beneficiary, I think you can elect not to receive the entire estate, but I don't know legally what the steps are to split the estate among all the kids. You don't have to accept the entire estate just because it is left to you, but since there are no contingent beneficiaries, I don't know what you would need to do. I would consult your attorney and make him/her aware of the existence of the will and of your wishes as beneficiary.

If the will holds up in court, you can also elect to take the whole estate. But I wouldn't count on having any kind of relationship with your siblings if you choose that route.

 

[crisi]

You have to file the will. You have to. Its fraud if you don't.

Talk to an estate attorney. Once the money is yours, you can redisburse it to your siblings, but you may have to pay gift taxes on it. I don't know if you can disburse it to your siblings out of the estate.

 

[Inigo]

Legally and ethically, you don't have a choice. You MUST follow the will your mother wrote.

You can then chose to give your four siblings as much of the estate as you wish. You don't have to keep it all once the estate is probated, since it will then be your money to do with as you wish.

Condolences on the loss of your mother.

 

[Inigo]

My family is going through this right now. My grandfather died and left everything to my brother. He cut out his 2 kids and the other 3 grandkids. It is destroying our family bc my brother refuses to give back anything to our Dad or our Dads sister and certainly nothing to me or my 2 cousins.

But that's your brother's right. Your grandfather could have left me all his estate if he wanted. It was grandfather's money, and he chose what he wanted to do with it. Just like it's now your brother's money and he gets to choose.

 

[buckler]

Legally, you have to file the will. What you decide to do with the proceeds of the estate afterward is up to you. However, from your description, I would hesitate to give a lump sum of money to an alcoholic. If you opt to give him money, you might want to give it over a period of time.

 

[wdwfan16]

Give the will to your lawyer.

In some states all children that you mother had, ever ones she gave up for adoption, have a legal right to the estate.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

Yes , legally you have to file. After that it is up tp you how you will deal with what proceeds you receive from the estate. If you so choose you can split it with your siblings after it has cleared probate.

It is really terrible what the proceeds form an estate can do to a family. Currently we have an (great-) aunt who is no longer speaking to us after the death of my DH grandfather. Thing is she got nearly everything (Dh got a small inheiritance which we never should have accepted -it has been nothing but trouble) . Our life is by far less stressful with out this woman in it but to watch the whole scenario unfold was a really pathetic thing to watch. All over money. People's true colors really seem to come out at these times.

 

[dd50]

Turn the will over to the attorney. I am sure your mom did what she did for a reason.

 

[TallyTutter]

If it were me. I would file the will. Legally morally you have to.
Then I would take what ever cash there is and split it evenly. You can give each person I believe $13,000 each year as a tax free gift. This can be set up as a trust for them to get their share annually. Our if they want all their money at once you will need to figure out what taxes you will have to pay on the "gift" you give them and hold that back.

I agree, leagally & morally I think you have to file the will, follow her wishes. Once that is done you can do anything with what you inherited.

 

[gillenkl]

legally the will must be filed and your mothers wishes should be respected

 

[mrsklamc]

You need to file the will. Aside from it being the right thing to do, you have now posted publicly that it exists- and people aren't as anonymous as they like to believe they are on the Internet.

 

[mickeymaker2003]

I agree you should file the will. What you do with the money after it is yours is entirely up to you.

 

[dancin Disney style]

I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through. While I can offer no advice on what to do I completely understand the situation. I am very much stuck in the middle of an enormous family drama involving a will. What bugs me really is that I have never felt like I am entitled to any money from anyone. I believe in looking after myself. There are others in my family that are convinced that they should get money for various reasons and really I don't totally disagree with some of those reasons. I hate that this is probably going to end badly and I will forever be caught in the middle.


I hope that you can find a way to work this out.

 

[PBB]

I am sorry for your loss. It must be a very trying time for you as you took care of your mother during her terminal illness.

As others have suggested.....you need to file the will as written by your Mom. It was her wish that you have her estate.

Regarding family........You never mentioned how much of an estate your mother left. If it is a small estate then and you feel that your relationship with your siblings is important and you will lose it because of this then I would distribute it as discussed. If you feel that you won't see some of these siblings after you distribution or they will take this money and drink it away. Then I would not. The problem is that it sounds like you are going to get a mixed response from your siblings. In that case, I would give the family members you are close to a share of the proceeds and explain that it came from you and not the estate. It really is your money. I know you feel a lot of guilt all the way around. It sounds like a tough situation.

I am sorry for your loss.......

 

[EclecticWAHM]

I agree with the posters that said that legally and ethically you must file the will and follow your mother's wishes. That said, once you get money from the estate, it's yours to do with as you wish - and you might wish to make some gifts to your siblings.