Hopeless

[maedelken]

I feel hopeless. A year ago that wasn't the story. A year ago my husband took a job in North Carolina working for Duke university. We were full of hope for us for our family and for our financial situation. We put the house on the market and began the grueling process of trying to sell it. He would be down there Monday-Friday and back on the weekends. We have four kids it was hard but there was hope that our house would sell and we would be together.

Now a year later the house hasn't sold, the savings is gone, the credit debt has grown, medical bills bc the great insurance HR said he would have wasn't so great, and I am hopeless. His schedule is a little better no home one week away one week but it is still so hard. We thought this would be good sell our house which ended up being hard to afford. Start new and buy one that was more reasonable. On top of everything I took a pregnancy test yesterday and it was positive. I'm worried he is looking for jobs up here but who knows how long that will take. I have reached the breaking point and I want my husband home. I can't even get a job to help out bc he is not here.

This is just not how I envisioned things. So many bills and not enough money. Sad children and a sad over worked stressed Mommy not a good combo.

 

[minnie1928]

I don't know what to say other than . I hope things turn around soon for you so you can focus on the new addition to your family.

 

[Princess April]

 

[NeedaVacation03]

I just want to offer also. I have 4 children and my husband worked out of town for a while. It can be a very stressful time.
Do you have someone who can help with the kids for a few hours so that you can get a little time to do something for you? Maybe a high school student from the community or your church? I know you said money was tight, maybe you could just go to a friends house, watch a movie and drink tea or something. Good luck to you.

 

[KatyMac]

I know there are differing opinions on this board regarding Dave Ramsey, but we are believers in his ideas, which are really just old fashioned common sense. Sometimes, when we are in the middle of a crisis, it is hard to think straight, and having someone who helps us get on the right track is what provides a turning point. I'm sure things feel hopeless, but it's not. Go to the library and check out Total Money Makeover. It will give you step by step instructions on how to deal with just what you are going through. Whatever you decide to do, know that other people have been there, and have been able to turn things around. You can do it- it just takes time, faith, and lots of patience.

 

[mdsouth]

Just try to keep in perspective that you have each other and your kids. I am sure your stress level is to the max. Prayers will be sent on your behalf. I find that often prayers for myself are for guidance during stressful times. It really does help me to take things more calmly.
Finding out you are pregnant now is scary (my DH had been laid off from his job and was just working a temporary position when we found out I was pregnant for the first time - so, I have a sense of what you are feeling.)

Hopefully, your situation will change soon. Pixie dust and prayers are being sent your way.

More people begin hunting for homes after the holiday season - and the economy is looking better than it did last year, so a buyer for your home might be right around the corner.

Is there little things (inexpensive things) that you can do to your home to make it more appealing to buyers? Watch some of those selling your home shows on HGTV, they can give you good pointers. I would start by decluttering as much as you can. You may want to consider renting a small storage unit space to hold lots of the things you want to keep. Just by moving it out of the house will really help sell your house. People want houses with lots of storage space and lots of people have a hard time seeing how much space there really is for storage if it is full with your stuff. So, move your stuff into a storage unit for a few months and see if that helps.

It is extremely hard to sell a house when you have kids that you constantly have to pick up after, but it will be worth it once you are all together again.

Please update us on your progress - or just use this thread to vent. We are here for you.

 

[Halloweenqueen]

My husband's company was bought out in 2007. We had the choice of finding something new, or moving from NC to WA.

He looked for the 8 wks before the transfer. No offer compared to the one in WA. We decided to go for it.

He left me in NC, with five kids and a home on the market. It was pure hell. It was four months before we saw him again. We had already planned a WDW trip before the job transfer and kept the reservation, never thinking we would be apart that long. It was another long 4 months when we received an offer on our home. It was for much less than we wanted, but we accepted. Little did we know how bad the market would become!

There were nights when I begged him to pack it up and come home. Times when I would just sob myself to sleep, just overworked and tired. The house showings in particular were stressful. We had 140 showings before our home sold!

I know the stress you are feeling. Hang in there. It does get better.

I'm happy to say we have been together in WA for almost two years now.

Best wishes and good luck with the home sale.

 

[bunny213]

and your family... Barb

 

[Silent1CB]

 

[terri01p]

 

[cbg1027]

Sorry things aren't going well for you. I'm sure lots of people here can empathize.

Did you list the house with a Realtor, or have you been trying to sell by owner? If you were doing by owner, maybe you should look in to hiring a Realtor.

Also, as a PP said, why not try to rent it out? The rental market has remained virtually unaffected by the recession. If you have a 30 yr mortgage on the house, you would probably be able to set a reasonable rental rate at enough to cover the mortgage payment.

Best of luck. It's a new year....maybe things will get better in 2010!

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I am so sorry that you are going through this but you can make it. It may be tough but I have always found that I am a stronger person for making it thru some of the things that we have been through. Just have faith.


I do agree about reading Dave Ramseys book. It may really help you & your husband decide what to do next. I wish you the very best of luck.

 

[java]

You are having pregnancy freak out. I had it too. Relax and breathe. It seems scary right now because you are thinking about the new mouth to feed. But you have been surviving currently. I have been in your shoes and freaking out and it's all good now.

What is being said on why your house hasn't sold? Is it overpriced? Are things just not selling where you are. A house here just sold for $150,000 less than they originally listed. Really those people got a good deal on that house imho. (It was a corporate sale) I know that isn't the easiest thing to think about.
But it will sell at the right price.

And did you tell your dh yet? Sounds like there may have been a blurt out?

 

[a1tinkfans]

I feel hopeless. A year ago that wasn't the story. A year ago my husband took a job in North Carolina working for Duke university. We were full of hope for us for our family and for our financial situation. We put the house on the market and began the grueling process of trying to sell it. He would be down there Monday-Friday and back on the weekends. We have four kids it was hard but there was hope that our house would sell and we would be together.

Now a year later the house hasn't sold, the savings is gone, the credit debt has grown, medical bills bc the great insurance HR said he would have wasn't so great, and I am hopeless. His schedule is a little better no home one week away one week but it is still so hard. We thought this would be good sell our house which ended up being hard to afford. Start new and buy one that was more reasonable. On top of everything I took a pregnancy test yesterday and it was positive. I'm worried he is looking for jobs up here but who knows how long that will take. I have reached the breaking point and I want my husband home. I can't even get a job to help out bc he is not here.

This is just not how I envisioned things. So many bills and not enough money. Sad children and a sad over worked stressed Mommy not a good combo.

OP:
Can you reach out to a local organization, church or otherwise to help you out, whether that be getting food (to cut your costs) or perhaps watching your little ones in a program, even for a drop so you can perhaps work just a bit to help out. Have you gone room to room, put any/all items you can sell on Craigslist?, every bit will help. Have a garage sale when weather gets a bit better. Have you also taken a very hard look at everything from phone, cable, cells, car costs, etc and been able to perhaps reduce or eliminate some outgoing costs. Are you able to rent/lease your current home and move with DH and keep home for sale and PRAY for a sale....but atleast cover the mortgage???
I hear your "ache" and want to wish you all the very very best in the upcoming year. It is so sad that so many people are in your shoes, across this great country.
Please reach out where you can, family, friends, and get OUT your thoughts, it is no good to feel isolated and your family needs you so very much, now even more so with your upcoming addition to your family. I will keep you/family in my prayers.....

 

[Tanzanite]

You are having pregnancy freak out. I had it too. Relax and breathe. It seems scary right now because you are thinking about the new mouth to feed. But you have been surviving currently. I have been in your shoes and freaking out and it's all good now.

What is being said on why your house hasn't sold? Is it overpriced? Are things just not selling where you are. A house here just sold for $150,000 less than they originally listed. Really those people got a good deal on that house imho. (It was a corporate sale) I know that isn't the easiest thing to think about.
But it will sell at the right price.

And did you tell your dh yet? Sounds like there may have been a blurt out?

Wow Java thats a big reduction in price which state are you in? its scaryto be selling now .

 

[tinkarooni]

Believe it or not January is a great time to sell a house, at least in my experience. Of course with the lousy weather we are having everywhere in the country and the economic downturn it may take longer. We sold two houses, both in January. My friend and realtor told me that after the holidays people begin the search for their new start in life, a new home, just like starting a diet or organizing.

Winter can be depressing enough......Best wishes to you. Try to focus on the task at hand, tidy up the house, hide the toys, make the house appealing to those looking. I know that when I am in a bad place in life focusing on something is better for me than dwelling on what I can not change.

 

[Virgderon]

We had to make a quick move from Chicago to Tampa this year, as my DH lost his job in Chicago.

After watching my neighbor try to sell his house for 6 months, we decided to rent our house.

I think you might want to consider renting out your house. You are stressed and need to get your family back together.

 

[wdwfan16]

I am sorry things did not work out as planned.

 

[eliza61]

I feel hopeless. A year ago that wasn't the story. A year ago my husband took a job in North Carolina working for Duke university. We were full of hope for us for our family and for our financial situation. We put the house on the market and began the grueling process of trying to sell it. He would be down there Monday-Friday and back on the weekends. We have four kids it was hard but there was hope that our house would sell and we would be together.

Sad children and a sad over worked stressed Mommy not a good combo.

Oh Maedelken,
I am so sorry you are hitting a rough spot. I want to point out to you to remember how you felt a year ago. So many times when we get hit with hard times, we forget that things are temporary and will turn around.

As another poster said Jan. is usually a slow time in the real estate world. Weather is lousy and people are realizing they spent too much money over the holidays.

Concentrate on what you do have. 4 wonderful kids. Hugs and hang in there.

 

[DISdreamin']

First, and prayers for your family!

And just to share...DH and I both got offered excellent contracting jobs with a small start-up company in August of 2001. We received one month of super pay (more than either of us had ever made before) and health benefits. We spent almost our entire first paycheck replacing our very old furnace in our home. Things were looking up! Then the very next month 9/11 happened.... All the investor funding dried up for this small company and we went down to an income of $500 a month total - only enough to pay for food and utilities if we were really careful! Then we find out a few weeks later I'm pregnant. Double !

We took jobs cleaning offices on weekends to supplement our income, while trying to toughing it out with the startup (trying to see it through and there just weren't any other jobs to be had in the area). What an odd mix - Ph.D. scientists on weekdays showing investors company technology, cleaning crew on the weekend!

Long story short, we made it through, but it was scary as all get-out for a while! (I don't even like to think about when we got the cancellation notice on our health insurance...I was ~5 months pregnant and I totally freaked.) We are now in a better place than we have ever been, but I look back on that time and remember how stressed we were. So to you and your family! You'll find a way to get through...there really isn't any other option.