Hope this gives you a chuckle

[drafthorsecrazy]

It seems everyone is going to the fort and I'm up here frozen in Ohio. Hope this gives you a laugh. I've tried to "clean" it up so its not full of ******
Enjoy!



CHRISTMAS IN OHIO

December tenth
5:00pm. It's starting to snow. The first of the season. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.

December eleventh
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shoveled snow for the first time this season and loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later a city plow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled. I waved back and shoveled again.

December fifteenth
It snowed an additional five inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around eleven degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish gray.

December eighteenth
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my butt in the driveway. $145.00 to a chiropractor but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

December twentieth
Still cold. Sold wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guard rail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right quarter panel. Had another eight inches of the white stuff last night. Both the vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That darn snow plow came by twice today.

December twenty second
Two degrees outside. More darn snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all of my eye lashes and eye brows. Car slid on the ice on the way to the emergency room and was totaled.

December twenty third
The darn white stuff keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch the son-of-a-gun that drives the snow plow, I will drag him through the snow by his . I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about one hundred miles per hour and buries our driveway again. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in. If you go outside, don't eat the brown snow.

December twenty fourth
We got 11 more inches. I can't feel my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of depression, because the wife is starting to look good.

December twenty fifth
MERRY CHRISTMAS! They predict 12 more inches of the darn white stuff tonight. Does anyone know how many dang shovels full of snow 12 " is??
To heck with Santa, he doesn't have to shovel this stuff. Wife left me. Car wont start. Wind chill factor is minus twenty two degrees........I'M MOVING TO FLORIDA!!!



Every time my husband and I read this, we laugh and laugh. Unfortunately this cleaned up version isn't as funny without all the four letter words. I didn't want the mods black listing me!

 

[loveDmouse]

That is cute! Thanks for the laugh.

 

[fla4fun]

It gave me a laugh! I grew up in Columbus, and I remember snow well. But the timing is a little off - we never saw snow like that until January/February. Back in the late 70's we had a blizzard that hit so hard and so fast that my dad's car got frozen fast in a slush puddle that turned to ice and it took two tow trucks to lift the car up and out a few days later. I sure don't miss driving in it or shoveling it out of the driveway. Even with the hurricanes, I'll take living in Florida over Ohio any day because that drive to WDW from Ohio was a long, painful trek. Nothing quite like making a quick Disney stop on the way home from work!

 

[ntsammy5]

Very funny. I see you did some creative editing! We actually had 48" of snow a few years ago in the week between Christmas and New Years. Our average snowfall is about 100" per year -- figure about 36" per month for the snow months. Disgusting, but I honestly love it!

 

[mamaloya]

This is what I call snow!!! http://loyafamily.multiply.com/photos/album/21/It_SNOWED

This is the most snow I have ever seen in person. As you can see, we were very excited. This is when we were at Fort Bragg. It was pretty neat, but gone way to fast. Check out our cool snowpeople.

 

[BigDaddyRog]

18 years ago this week it snowed in New Orleans...about a whole 1.5 inches. Thats a blizzard for us...ya never seen so many redneck cajuns slip-sliding all over the road....we have NO IDEA how to drive in that stuff!! I hit 3 cars ( no real damage) on my way home and not one of the drivers even wanted to get out of their cars to look at it...i figured they must have already hit their share of vehicles and were allowing me to have my turn. It was kinda fun...like bumper cars!!

 

[ejmbibb]

Bumper cars, thats funny. Around here I dont even put the truck in 4wd until its up to the rims. I lived in Ga for 7 yrs. when it snowed there, people went nuts. Schools, stores, churches everything closed if there were 2 snow flakes seen in the air at one time.
I was there for the "blizzard of 93" we got about 3 inches on a sat morning, everything was closed until thurs the next week. They didn't wait to see if it got better, just closed until thursday. On tuesday it went up to 50 and on wed it was 60+ but you still couldnt go to a grocery store, "they were worried that the melting snow would refreeze at night and make icy spots
On the day it snowed, I took my f350 2wd out and went driving around, You could do what you wanted, NO ONE was on the road, no even the police, they were not allowed to drive unless it was an emergency.

 

[mamaloya]

BDRog,

I can't believe it was that long ago. I was a senior in high school. I had surgery scheduled for the next week and they cancelled it due to frozen pipes. Saving the sterilized equipment for emergencies only.

BTW, it did snow in New Orleans in Dec of '04 as well. I remember because it was our last Christmas in NO before Katrina. We had 17 of us staying in the parsonage of dh's church in Venice, LA. I told the family coming in that the weather down here was fair and that they only needed light coats. Well, even the one from Michigan was miserable. I remember driving up to NO and seeing the snowmen on the side of the road. It was not as much in 04 as in 89 though. I remember in 89 trying to make it over railroad tracks in my mom's Astro van. They did shut EVERYTHING down though. It was crazy. I don't think 04 was nearly that bad. Oh, and in Covington in 00 or 01 there were flurries with a VERY light collection on the ground. Not that I am keeping track or anything.

 

[debjoisme]

Oh that was so funny. As you can see I too live in Ohio (northeast Ohio ) Last Sunday was crazy, rain in the morning~~blizzard like conditions @ 3PM. Only someone who has shoveled many many inches of snow can appriciate how mad you get when the snow plow does come through and completly covers your driveway apron back up !! We lived in southern Ohio for a few years and were just amazed when the city came to a halt with some freezing rain. The schools closed as did most businesses. We thought that if they had ever expeiienced "lake effect" snow like we were use to, no one would have left their houses for days Today it's suppose to be in the 50's~~~~go figure!! Like we always say up here if you don't like the weather~ wait a minute and it will change again. I haved lived in 3 different states, and always always come back to Ohio ~
Hope those Browns win Sunday and GO BUCKS !!!!
~Debbie

 

[Minnie's Mate]

Bumper cars, thats funny. Around here I dont even put the truck in 4wd until its up to the rims. I lived in Ga for 7 yrs. when it snowed there, people went nuts. Schools, stores, churches everything closed if there were 2 snow flakes seen in the air at one time.
I was there for the "blizzard of 93" we got about 3 inches on a sat morning, everything was closed until thurs the next week. They didn't wait to see if it got better, just closed until thursday. On tuesday it went up to 50 and on wed it was 60+ but you still couldnt go to a grocery store, "they were worried that the melting snow would refreeze at night and make icy spots
On the day it snowed, I took my f350 2wd out and went driving around, You could do what you wanted, NO ONE was on the road, no even the police, they were not allowed to drive unless it was an emergency.

I remember that blizzard. It was a true blizzard, but like almost all snow in Atlanta, it's gone within 48 hours. Our dog had never seen snow and it scared him. Then once he figured out how to "go" in the snow, he had a blast playing in it. We couldn't keep him indoors!

Yep, it did shut Atlanta down for almost a week though. The night before I went to the grocery store for tortilla chips for Mexican my wife and I were planning for dinner and there wasn't a loaf of bread left on the shelves! There was a run on milk and peanut butter, too! All the while the weather folks were saying it'd be gone by Monday. And most of it was.

 

[PolynesianPixie]

Heavens to betsy! As soon as the first flake falls, don't ya know you need to run out to the local Wal-Mart and buy up all the milk, bread and eggs that you can carry!!!!! You just know that if you get snowed in you're gonna want a lotta French toast!