Hope someone's here this late - should I be worried?

[mathlady11]

My daughter who's at Vista Way hasn't contacted me in over 24 hours. VERY uncharacteristic of her. When I looked at her work report it shows "NCNS", which I assume to mean "no call no show"?

I have phoned her apartment directly and have been leaving cell messages all evening. Usually she'll at least text to say she can't talk then.

Am I crazy or should I be worried? What can I do from OHio?

 

[mathlady11]

okay it's 5:20 am - still no texts or anything. When would be polite to call her aprtment again?

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I would call again. We are moms we are supposed to be worried. I am sure everything will be fine, but you have every right to be worried and should keep trying.
My thoughts with you (her)...

 

[ndeelou]

Just wanted to send a good thought!

And a hug!

Betsy

 

[mathlady11]

thanks. i'm really concerned now. i;m having the guard go check her apt because no one there is answering. If she is okay I'm probably embarassing the heck out of her...

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

As a mom, you need to do what you need to do. I hope all is well.

Please let us know, I am finding that I am worried for her. I have 3 daughters, they are still young but I feel for you not knowing.

 

[mathlady11]

Good news I think she's ok. At least according to her roommate who saw her yesterday. Bad news - she's being a teenager which really isn't like her. I guess she's being a late bloomer.

I know I'm better off with her being irresponsible than hurt or worse. But I will feel better when she actually calls me.

Thanks for the good thoughts. It's been a long night.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

So glad for you, and now I can say waht I wanted to say before (but was afraid to in case something had happened to her.)

So what if you are embarassing her? You are her mother and are always going to worry, it is your job! Yes, she may be embarassed but hopefully that means the next time she thinks about doing something like this again she will think twice. With all the things in the news nowadays, it is your duty to make sure she is ok. Yes, we have to let them grow up at some point, but when I can't get ahold of my loved ones even for a little while, I worry. It's called love, she may hate you for a minute (we've all been there), but she will know that you did this because you love her. Remind her she would not have been embarassed if she had just let you know she was OK.

Glad all is well...

 

[graygables]

I'm glad your DD is OK. I'm a little flabbergasted that you checked her work record? She is an adult, correct? Both of my older DDs did the CP and now work at WDW full-time. They did not have to "check in" every day, but on an as-needed basis. I'd pop an email to them several times a week, but they were there to work their hineys off and have fun. Believe me, Disney doesn't want anything to happen to them on their watch, so if something HAD happened, you'd be the first to know about it. This is an excellent experience for growing up and taking steps of independence (for both of you!). Worry all you like, but if you hover, I can promise you it will not make for a good relationship later on (lessons learned from my own mother...)

 

[mathlady11]

I appreciate your concern about my checking her work record but you really don't know my duaghter or myself. She had given me her log in info because she had huge problems with her internet connection and couldn't check it herself.

She only turned 18 at the beginning of June and I don't really think "adult" is a product of age, but experience and knowledge. This has been for her, an extremely challenging experience, but also extemely valuable in terms of learning to put herself out there and be more independent.

The only reason I checked to see if she had gone to work is because it had been an extraordinary length of time since she had contacted me in any way. I didn't ask or require her to check in every day - she has chosen to contact me by text or phone to stress or vent or celebrate. So to not hear from her for 36 hours was way out of the norm.

I don't really know why you felt so compelled to judge me or my realtionship with my daughter. Maybe you should've just gone on to the next thread.

 

[glendalais]

Just in case, here's some information and links that you might just want to keep handy:

Orange County Sheriff's Office
(407) 254-7000
(407) 836-4357 (Non-Emergency Complaints)

Police Department, City of Orlando
(407) 246-2470
(321) 235-5300 (Non-Emergency Complaints)

And of course, heaven forbid you should ever need it, if you dial 911 on your telephone, and explain that your daughter is in the Metro Orlando/Central Florida/Lake Buena Vista area, they will be able to transfer your call, as will any of the above numbers if you explain the situation.

 

[graygables]

I am sorry that you took offense to my post. I was not in any way "judging" you or your daughter, just trying to offer a BTDT perspective on being the parent of an adult in the CP. I know that other parents who may never post read the boards and I'd hoped to bring a different mindset. Again, I apologize and I'm glad she's safe (and hopefully having a great time).

 

[wdwfam]

Okay, I have to agree with graygables. It didn't sound like she was judging either. I know for myself, I have gone overboard too many times. My DD is currently in the program. It has been an adjustment, but then again she is 20. I trust her judgment. We have open lines of communication that makes her want to check in with me periodically. I don't have access to her log-on nor do I want it, even though the internet connection down there is sporadic. There is always Panera she can get internet access.

 

[disneychickforever]

As someone who has been on your daughter's end, I just wanted to say something. First off, I'm not judging you or your relationship with your daughter, I'm just giving you my personal experience.

On my program, I also was a recent 18 year old and I talked to my parents everyday. Sometimes I initiated it, but most of the time it was my mom checking in on me. I found that this made it really hard for me to adjust, because I kept getting really homesick. My voicemail was always full (because I just stopped emptying it) and she started to call my apartment 2-3 times a day. It was overwhelming!

I found that I wasn't able to grow with all the amounts of times my mom called me. I understood (and still understand) that it was just my mom looking out for me...but it still kind of got me frazzled that she wasn't letting me get a little space.

 

[Ashley022489]

I'll be 19 when I start my program, turning 20 while I'm down there, and I just want to say that my mom would be just as worried as you if she hadn't heard from me. We talk every day, usually multiple times a day, and no, it's not because she is checking up on me or doesn't trust me, we are just very close and I like to keep in touch to know what's going on at home and to fill her in on my day. It's comforting to me to know that, God forbid anything ever happened to me, my mom and dad would know simply because I haven't contacted them that day. And I don't think it's weird for a parent to be worried about their child, no matter how old they are. That's what parents are there for-to look out for you and make sure you are okay. I have a 22 year old brother who was assaulted while away at school in California last year and my parents wouldn't have known if they didn't have a pattern of talking to him everyday, because when they didn't hear from him and looked into it is when they found out he was in the hospital. Your daughter is lucky to have a parent that worries about her.

 

[fmrcp06]

Dear lord. I have to agree with graygables as well. If she gave you her info to log in when she was having problems, I'm guessing she is done with the problems... so I would NOT be checking her every move down there now...I actually don't even think it's legal for you to be logging on as her... give her a little bit of breathing room. While that is great she calls you every day, its not common. I'm super super super close with my family, but you need to breathe. When I was on the program I was not calling every day and I certainly would not be happy at all if my mother called security because she hadnt talked to me in 24 hrs. YIKES. She is prob out late, having the time of her life... let her be. She will be ok. Let the strings go a little bit and let her enjoy life down there.

 

[belleatheart]

I am almost 20, turning it in 3 weeks. I can say I talk to my mom everday. When I was away at school we would text everyday, not have a phone call that day but normally a text of some sort that day. I recently transferred schools due to one school not having my major, did it in less than a month when i started the new school so now time to find an apartment or anything so moved home for a bit. It is not bad, and now me and mom talk everyday . I love her, but I also know that when I was away we would text at least a hey how was your day, but it is was not checking up on me. I know that when I go down to do my CP I will talk to my mom, but I also know that if I do not text her back on a day she will not worry. She will know that I am crazy busy in the World of Disney. She will also not check my work schedule. She would say that is my business, it is my deal if I do not show up, or whatever. Also I would die if she called security, I think that she would also have to be at a complete breaking point of not hearing from me for quite a few days before it got to that point, not just 24 hours. I know you want to look out the best for your daughter, but the best might be to let her be, if she makes a mistake, help her fix it maybe, but also mistakes are learning curves.

 

[Traveliz]

So is your daughter ok? Have you talked to her? When last you updated you thought things were ok based on what the roommate said but I don't think you had actually spoken to her.

Liz

 

[Saxsoon]

I am the first child to go off to college and I am 18 right now at A&M College Station. I am the one who initiates the call almost everytime and actually talk to my parents at the very least once a day, sometimes more. It actually makes it easier I think, makes me less homesick. It just feels like I am on vacation.

Both of my parents still call my grandparents everyday, so it must be something in the family. I hope to do the same even when I head into the real world. I feel bad if I don't call them.

I think you all need to lay off the OP. You don't know the relationship with her daughter. Just because your relationship with your family is different does not mean all function in that manner. She is being a protective mom. I know my mom and dad are the same way. Also don't take what I say as meaning that parents aren't protective if they don't always check up on them. It sounds like she and my parents are on a similar wavelength when it comes to protectiveness.

 

[Loves Disney]

How is your daughter? Did you finally get a hold of her to talk to?