Honestly (not) perfect wedding.

[Moonpie]

Just a fun question!

Have any of you been sincerely honest to a bride/friend who had some things go...kinda bad at her wedding. One of my friends recently had a wedding during which some things went noticably wrong, and of course she doesn't know about these things that went wrong because her wedding coordinator was very nice to keep the bad news from her so that she could enjoy her day. But now my friend is talking to me about weddings in a rather smug way, as if things went just perfectly for her... and she is basically telling me how I should do things like she did. Now, I just smile and nod... but...

Have any of you been perfectly honest about a not so perfect wedding?

 

[Fairy_Tale_Bride]

Just a fun question!

Have any of you been sincerely honest to a bride/friend who had some things go...kinda bad at her wedding. One of my friends recently had a wedding during which some things went noticably wrong, and of course she doesn't know about these things that went wrong because her wedding coordinator was very nice to keep the bad news from her so that she could enjoy her day. But now my friend is talking to me about weddings in a rather smug way, as if things went just perfectly for her... and she is basically telling me how I should do things like she did. Now, I just smile and nod... but...

Have any of you been perfectly honest about a not so perfect wedding?

I'd have to say my wedding was far from perfect and I think a lot of things go wrong at most weddings. It's one of those events where that happens a lot! Funny, that your friend, the bride, didn't notice it not being perfect because in my situation it was me that noticed all that went wrong and my Mom. The guests and the groom were oblivious to anything...haha! I'm a perfectionist, so I notice every little detail and no one else at my wedding is like that. It was still a perfect day and I look back and laugh at it now.

It all started when I got out of the limo and hit my head on the door...right on the wedding video too! You can see me mouth "Owww!" haha! I'm mad that it's caught in the video! It even messed my head piece up, so I had to fix it.

I also love in the video, when my groom is getting out of the limo..he's carrying Disney bags full of our wedding stuff...napkins, flutes, etc.

My Aunt gave us our toast and dropped the champagne glass during the toast. The glass shattered all over the boardwalk and spilled all over my dress! We tried to play it off because we were being filmed, but my DH and I both look down and look right back up with smiles on our faces. It led to another great moment when at the end of the toast, my Aunt went to raise her glass and she then remembered she had dropped it. She said...well, that's good luck!

Also, when my DH's father and mother were walking down the aisle...he kept on walking and passed his seat. I have no idea how or why, but it is pretty funny to watch the video and see him have to turn all the way around and walk back! We don't know what he was thinking!

Then my DH's parents didn't follow my parents out down the aisle after the cermeony for the recessional. They just sat there!

Let's see...I also had cake smashed on the top of my wedding gown by accident when my Uncle hugged me at the reception...this was before the wedding photos were taken!

My DH was sweating so bad out in the 98 degree heat and he had drops of sweat puring down his face. The drops were actually dripping off his chin and a big drop then went down his nose...it was just hanging there! During our vows...I had to wipe it...haha! Everyone got a nice giggle out of that moment and my DH had to start laughing. I had to take care of it...it looked awful...haha!

Then...back to my sweating DH in his tux! He came over during our reception, before the photos and he had silver paint looking stuff all over his face and neck! I was like...what is that!? Then, it hit me! "Did you wipe your face with our napkins?" The print on our napkins that said our names and wedding date and gotten all over his face! I had to find other napkins and water and clean his face! All of this during the reception!

Then, I was so sweaty and hot from the heat that I broke out in heat rash during our wedding cermeony and vows! My Mom could see it getting worse as it started appearing on my shoulders and below my neck! I was so glad I didn't faint in the hot Florida sun, so I was fine with the heat rash. I was in a lot of pain the next day though because my entire body had a rash!

My dress, my DH's tux, and our guests' clothes literally all had to be dried out after the ceremony. We were all sweating to death! That's what we get for having a wedding outside in Florida in June!!!! What lovely memories!


Those are all the funny moments that went wrong! We had bad things go wrong too though that aren't fun!

We had problems with our wedding planner, officiant, and wedding photographer!

Our wedding planner just didn't step up to the plate and wasn't helpful at all!

Our officiant, as I have discussed on the board before, started getting angry and getting attitude with my Mom at our Recpetion.

Our photographer was ready to get the heck out of there and I had to keep putting my foot down about our photos! He wouldn't take the time to fix my train and would yell at my Mom when she tried to. He also was taking photos of our wedding rings and mine was all twisted around. He got mad when I said I needed to fix my ring for the photo!

Well, I won't get into all the negatives, but you get the idea!

Wow...looking back at it all now...

I have no idea how I did it and got through it!

 

[superdiz]

Why would you want to taint her image of a day that she thinks went perfectly for her? It was her wedding day. I think if someone came up to me and said something negative about the day I had tried my hardest to plan and looked forward to for so long... well... I would lose them fast as a friend and I'd probably ***** slap them into next century I'd keep it to myself for sure!

 

[ead79]

I'm sorry that your friend is having a smug attitude. That's not polite at all. Some people just get really uppity that "their way" is the only way to do a beautiful wedding. This simply isn't true, but some people just seem to feel that way. As rude as she is acting, I think it would be hurtful if you told her about the things that went wrong. It wouldn't serve any purpose except to make you feel better, and I think it's not a good idea. Plus, she may actually be aware of what went wrong and be overcompensating by putting on a show that her wedding was perfect.

 

[wendy46001]

Just a fun question!

Have any of you been sincerely honest to a bride/friend who had some things go...kinda bad at her wedding. One of my friends recently had a wedding during which some things went noticably wrong, and of course she doesn't know about these things that went wrong because her wedding coordinator was very nice to keep the bad news from her so that she could enjoy her day. But now my friend is talking to me about weddings in a rather smug way, as if things went just perfectly for her... and she is basically telling me how I should do things like she did. Now, I just smile and nod... but...

Have any of you been perfectly honest about a not so perfect wedding?

My best friend got married three weeks after we did...So we had a big list of wedding do's and don'ts in our mind....lots of little things went wrong at her wedding and every time my DH and I just smiled and said thank god for Mickey......but in the end most of the stuff we didn’t tell her....a few things she asked about when she got back from her honeymoon...
like she noticed her toasting glasses where different but didn’t say anything during the wedding (her real ones got shattered in the parking lot hours before).....Her videographer didnt make it to the reception (obviously no video).......Also her photographer kept disappearing to the bar during ever significant moment (aka father daughter dance, garter toss, cake cutting) she asked why all the BM kept moving him around all night.....lol.....

But the big things we just kept to ourselves...like her dress wasn’t ready until 20min before the wedding...the groom lost the rings...one of the limo drivers got lost.....etc...

I'd probably just keep a mental note of what not to do and move on....Everyone thinks they had the best wedding ever...so there is no changing her mind on that...pointing things out will just put her on the defensive

 

[Skylarr29]

Lindsey, who was your officient???

 

[BrideToBe82]

Haha I also have one of those friends! My friend just got married this summer so she thinks that gives her the right to tell me how to plan my wedding. She had a ton of things that went wrong with her wedding...

-She paid to transport all of her guests by limo from the ceremony to the reception. The air conditioners in each of the limo's were broken (this was the middle of summer!) and everyone was sweating and one of the guests actually fainted! After the ceremony the bride and groom took pics by the beach and she actually had the limos follow them to the beach and wait for them to take pics. All of the guests had to sit in the HOT limo for 2 hours waiting for them.

-The music for the ceremony kept skipping...she used a cd.

-The flowers were left at the hotel so someone had to get a taxi just to go back to get them.

There were a lot more things that went wrong. It was still an amazing wedding and things always go wrong but for her to act like she is the ultimate wedding planner is soooo annoying.

 

[JandJ]

I agree with those who said not to say anything. It was her wedding day, why ruin her memory? It stinks that she's being like that, but what good would it do to ruin the memory for her?

Y'know I don't remember one single thing going wrong on our wedding day and if it did I don't care at this point. Maybe on that day I thought "oh, that's not quite right" but the mind has a funny way of making things perfect in hindsight. To my knowledge our wedding was perfect, not one thing went wrong, and even if it did, all I remember is marrying my wonderful husband - and really that's all that matters

 

[PirateKitty]

Just a fun question!

Have any of you been sincerely honest to a bride/friend who had some things go...kinda bad at her wedding. One of my friends recently had a wedding during which some things went noticably wrong, and of course she doesn't know about these things that went wrong because her wedding coordinator was very nice to keep the bad news from her so that she could enjoy her day. But now my friend is talking to me about weddings in a rather smug way, as if things went just perfectly for her... and she is basically telling me how I should do things like she did. Now, I just smile and nod... but...

Have any of you been perfectly honest about a not so perfect wedding?

Thats a really good question about being honest about a not so perfect wedding. I was a guest at a wedding of a former employee, and I knew of the history of his mother (an alcoholic). He did not want his real mother present at his wedding, as he kept saying that she could ruin the wedding and reception. Lets just say it was quite an interesting wedding and reception. His mother and her boyfriend were heckling the guests, the boyfriend was throwing cigarettes off the balcony outside onto golfers on the golf course, and the mother spilled a glass of wine on someone's dress and then threw the glass on the ground. Alot of the guests at the wedding were trying to hide what was happening from the bride and groom. To make a very long story shorter...the groom stopped in my office last week, to thank me for coming, and asked for my honest opinion on his mothers actions. I could not lie to him about what I saw, but assured him that his wedding was beautiful, and we had a really good time. I told him that it didn't matter what she or her boyfriend did, and he shouldn't let what anyone says ruin his day. He was very appreciative of my honesty, and kept trying to apologize. I didn't even feel there was a need for him to apologize!

Don't let your friend get to you. People love to give the impression that everything is perfect, even when its not. And in your friends eyes, it may have been perfect for her. Everyone's gonna have an opinion on how they think your wedding should be. But, its your wedding...

 

[hmgolden]

I wouldn't say anything to her. I would just smile and nod.

 

[jojoandhb]

Sometimes being a good friend means NOT being honest

 

[sajetto]

Sometimes being a good friend means NOT being honest

EXACTLY

 

[Fairy_Tale_Bride]

Lindsey, who was your officient???

Rev. Jack Day...

There is a thread on here that someone posted asking questions about him and me and a few other brides had some "not so nice" things to say about him.

 

[Moonpie]

Thanks for replying everyone!

Now I agree that I would never say anything to her about how things actually went at her wedding. I don't want to hurt her feelings. It's just when she's acting like a bridal-know-it-all I get...tempted . But, don't worry, I won't.

But for me, I can't stand the idea that someone would be less than honest about my wedding to my face. I really do want people to tell me what went wrong, or what they thought of how things looked, or tasted. I ask people what they think, and I want them to be honest with me.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

just keep it to yourself! It was her wedding day and in her mind everythign was perfect

I noticed everythng that went OFF at my wedding, but everyone else didn't!! i kinda tripped going up the aisle!

 

[DisneyFairy19]

actually I have been to weddings where there has been so many noticeable problems, but when the bride brings it up, I hate to make it seem that yea it was a big deal.. I just tell them that I did notice it, but the important thing is that she married the LOVE of her life and not to sweat it...

 

[misslissa]

Ok ok ok... I agree with everyone here in not bringing it up... too bad she is being smug tho

However... I do have a couple of questions.

First for the OP, maybe you can't tell the bride what went wrong, but you can tell us?!?!

Second for Fairy Tale Bride... can you direct me to the post about your officiant? What did he do? How awful that he would be rude!!!

 

[Deesknee]

I agree, don't tell her. Perhaps when she becomes smug, a comment such as, your wedding was lovely, but what is it like to be focusing on your marriage now.
I was married almost 24 years ago. Trust me the wedding is the easy part.
I did have things go wrong. For one thing, my Dad gently pulled up my blusher, kissed me on the cheek, then stampeded across the train of my wedding gown! lol I almost burned the church down by letting the unity candle slip out of my hand. (luckily I caught it). I'm sure the list goes on.
But, to laugh at these things helps to build a lasting relationship. IMHO I hope DH and I can always laugh at these mishaps.

 

[JoD]

I wouldn't say anything to her. From my experience with family and friends everyone thinks there Wedding was the BEST, every time I talk to someone they say they had the best Wedding over anyone elses. A Wedding is one of the most important days of people's lives and they will always remember there Wedding Day as the most perfect and better than anyone elses so let her have her glory and you have yours. I also wanted to say that a friend of mine since 5th grade attended my bridal shower and just had to tell me that she didn't care for the food and it made me feel like crap, to this day that's all I remember about her and my bridal shower. If you are a really good friend don't say anything to her and just bite your tongue.

 

[TinkBride]

LOL! I just gotta tell this story.......

I was a BM in my best friends wedding, my DF was a GM. The couple was great friends of ours and it came in handy later.

After the newlyweds left the reception the BM decided to come out of the closet.....literally at the reception he made a toast and everyhting to tell everyone.....drama ensued......long story short the BM and FOB got in a fist fight in the parking lot.......(open bars are bad with these families)......cops were called.......

Next morning the Bride and Groom call DF and I to get details because we were the only ones involved that were neutral, the only other people involved were members of the opposing families. So we had to tell them all this info while they are in the airport waiting for their plane to take them on their honeymoon.......

I felt terrible telling them all of this and ruining their honeymoon, but they were begging for our honest opinions and as their close friends we had to tell them......

The families are still at odds with eachother three years later over this......but I gotta say this was ABSOLUTELY the most interesting wedding i have ever been to!

WHEW.......we NEVER would have talked to them about it unless they asked.....

I think that with weddings and mishaps at the wedding, it is kinda a “don't ask don't tell policy”. Don't ruin what the bride thought was a perfect day by telling her everyone else noticed mishaps and problems.......because obviously it could have been much worse........