Honest advice and opinions please...

[sajetto]

My DF and I are getting married in January next year. For the past few months we have been set on planning an intimate wedding. We just bought into DVC and have a little savings left over. We just sold his house and are going to rent for a while before we buy another.

Now, on to the question. We went to see my parents this week to talk about the wedding. My dad has been pushing for a custom but has left the decision up to us. Here is where it gets tricky...My parents wrote us a check for $20K and told us to make our choice. Either do an intimate and keep what is left over or blow it on the big wedding.

Which would you do?

 

[DisneyBrideWannabe]

Wow, are your parents looking to adopt? Anyway, you could throw a custom on 20K, and keep your own savings for the future. Are his parents willing to chip in (rehearsal dinner, farewell breakfast, or flowers). On the other hand, if you have a lot of debt (credit cards, college loans, cars) I would consider paying them off and with what is left, choose the wedding that fits. Overall, I wouldn't feel guilty to splurge and go with a custom if that is what your family is pushing for. It's not like you'll be out on any cost personally, and you even make some money back with the extra guests you're inviting. Good luck.

 

[TexasCourt]

Sajetto,
Wow, does this sound familiar. I am in the exact same shoes as you are. My mother is giving me $25k, and told me to spend it how I see fit. If that means blowing it all on a wedding, than she is fine with that. If it means getting married at a JOP, she is OK with that too. For me, an intimate wedding is a perfect way to have a classy, lovely day, with the people that mean the most to you, and you will still have (what is in my opinion) the most important thin: beautiful pictures and memories. For me personally, I just cannot spend all that money on one day. Yes, I know it will (hopefully) only be a once in a lifetime thing, but I think an intimate will be just as special. For all of our friends in Texas, we will be having an at home reception, and people love that idea. Here, we will be sharing photos, videos, etc. of the wedding and honeymoon. I guess it is all in what you want. Since we are both young, I would rather get this huge head start now. I am more of a save now, so I can relish my dream home later type person. I love nice things, but I know in order to get some of the things I see in my long-term goals, I will have to make choices. I too want to buy into DVC, and although am not using my wedding money to buy it, I would rather buy into DVC and have a small wedding, than throw a huge wedding and no DVC, if that makes sense? (I know you already purchased the DVC). Anyway, everyone does what is right for them, and there is no wrong answer. It is just where you see yourself, and if you would regret spending that much on a wedding. I told DF (who does not care either way, although he likes the idea of saving for our house now....I think the idea has really grown on him) I would wake up the day after the wedding and have SEVERE buyer's remorse. I know myself, and I know I would, but again, that is just me. Sorry so long, feel free to PM me if you want to talk!

 

[sajetto]

Hey Courtney!

Nice to see ya 'round these parts My parents are going to throw a huge at home reception for us when we get back no matter what kind of wedding we do. Michael keeps telling me to keep the money, I think that I probably would feel a serious case of buyers remorse too if I blew that money on something that wasn't tangible. For the intimate we are going to let Disney do the photos, Stan Severance is doing our video, Jack Day is the officiant, We are staying at OKW, No extra floral, and we are doing the MK photo shoot. That is still a lot of money the will be chipped away from that check. IF we went custom the cost of the video, floral, and food would go sky high! Thanks for setting my head straight sweetie

I guess all brides just want to be the center of attention and throw a huge party, but it is just for one day and I don't need it. Now a house, I need. I may be PM'ing you in the future so that you can keep me in check so I don't lose my head or lose sight of the fact that it is just ONE day.

It's one day, It's one day, It's one day......


see I feel better already

 

[WDWbride2007]

I completely agree. It is just one day. Raul is about to graduate with his masters and I have three more years to my PhD. We want a beautiful wedding, but at the end of the day, we don't want any debt. So we decided to go with the intimate wedding. The most important people in our lives will be there, and we are really splurge on the reception dinner. All in all, it was a perfect fit for us. Good luck!

 

[JandJ]

sajetto, just my 2 cents, you are making the right decision. No matter what kind of wedding you have, you will be getting the most important thing - your wonderful husband! We were in a similar situation, I could have had any wedding I wanted because DH is such a saver, but the Intimate fit us perfectly. We bought a house before the wedding, got rid of my debt, and still have savings left over. I say, save the money for a house, to pay off debt, etc. You'll have a beautiful wedding and memories to cherish forever, and you don't need to spend $20k for that

 

[groomtb]

I'm in the wrong family

how about just a 10~15k custom...

 

[faeriegrl]

I gotta chime in here.

My parents offered the $20k in cash or a wedding. I opted for the wedding.

It wasn't the smartest FINANCIAL decision but I loved my wedding. It was just one day.

You gotta decide. Has a big wedding been a lifelong dream of yours? Mine was, and it had to be a Disney wedding. If it's NOT, I would highly suggest getting back into a home. Renting is the worst way to throw away money. It's so hard to get into a home from an apartment! I would definately not rent if you can get away from it.

We are in major debt from our wedding and it makes things very hard. Even on a $20k budget, the wedding IS NOT much nicer than the intimate. You just feed more people. The important thing about a wedding is getting married. Yes, I know I had a ton of extras at my wedding (not as many as some!) but to be truthful, it will be a long road ahead of us to pay everything off.

We did go over $20k to pay for our honeymoon, travel and such. I would go for the intimate if I were in your shoes and worry about getting a roof over my head that I owned.

My 2 cents!! Just an opinion so please don't take offense.

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

Brittany, I'm also glad you chimed in about going over your budget. Reading this thread, and mentally adding up the expenses, I had a hard time seeing how you could really have a "great" custom for $20,000. It seemed more likely that the total family expenditure (including travel) would have been more like $30,000-40,000 to have all the elements you had. With a $20,000 budget, if you want all the extras, it seems like an intimate would be the best way to go. ~Ev

 

[engagedatWDW]

Seems like we have a lot of level headed brides here (which I think is a good thing!). I just wanted to add that I think the Intimate is the perfect compromise. You're getting a beautiful location and ceremony with photography and cake for a reasonable amount of money. My parents are paying for 99% of everything simply because if we paid for it we'd have to save up for 10 years. Eventhough they say it's our day and we can pretty much have anything we want, I know that at the end of everything they'd rather give us money for savings or a house instead of writing a check to Disney.

 

[Ember]

Just reading the posts on here... Is it possible to have a custom wedding for $10,000?? I'm only having 30 or so guests, want a high tea/lunch sort of reception, and an illuminations dessert party. I'm not going for all the extras (the coach, the MK photoshoot, etc). I'd just like to know if I'm totally off my rocker here... I really don't want to go over about 12-15k for the wedding.

 

[WDWbride2007]

Ember,
I guess it depends on what you include for the 12-15k. If you are only talking about wedding day expenditures, then I think it is totally doable. If you are including rehearsal dinner, travel, hotel, your dress and accessories, tux, wedding rings, gifts, airfare, honeymoon spending money...then I don't think it will be possible to be honest. We are having an intimate wedding at the WP. With dinner and an upgraded cake, we are looking to spend about 7k. When we add up everything, it is a lot of $$$.

 

[Rustyflwr3]

We are in the same situation; we have accounts with money intended to pay for our college education and our wedding. We could take the money that was left over from college and save it or we could use a lot of it for our dream wedding. We are choosing the custom wedding. As the intimate wedding is beautiful and fits the style of many people, it's just not us! I personally cannot imagine having a wedding without the love and support of our friends and family that we have known and that have been in our lives! We are not having an at home reception, but if that were the case, the wedding would probobly be a lot smaller, possibly an intimate. What you should do is what you feel is right for you and your future husband. It's just one day, but its the most special day of your life, and how you spend it, whether it's with 15 other people or 200 other people, will be just as special and memorable! Good Luck and no matter what, your day will be awesome!

Jessica

 

[Laurafoster]

I agree do whats best for you. Personally i am a custom but thats only because i have 25 people coming. Im very fortunate in that my parents and my fiances parents are paying 50/50 for the wedding (im buying my dress,invitations etc) and i also have enough to be able to get house and not be in debt.
If my circumstances were different i wouldnt hesitate in going for the intimate! To me its not how big the wedding is that matters, its you getting married and having those few important people around you to make your day special!

 

[Ember]

WDWbride2007, thanks for the opinion. That doesn't include the flights, dress (which my mum bought, yay mum!), hotels, etc. I have a seperate budget for that. It also won't include photography seeing as I'm using an outside vendor. I was just really hoping the wedding itself could stay as close to the minimum as possible...

 

[allisonswonderland]

Sajetto- I told you this the other day- if I could have had an intimate, I would have, but I had too many that I wanted to be there and his family is huge- if you are good with the number of people who are there, then have the intimate and save the rest for a down payment on a house or something.

I am usually very price conscious, meaning I love nice expensive things but I always buy things on sale, well except the Lady Lanells I bought yesterday for my wedding shoes- I did not even flinch when paying. My dad who has not really been a part of my life for the last 10 years is paying for my wedding, if I was offered the cash...I am not sure what I would do - This has been something that I have wanted since I was little - I am 31 and my fiance and I have been dating for well, it will be 7 years this june. We have been careful, so many rush into things and divorce, but some who rush stay married for 50 years also.

I am not having the coach, though I would love it, I just felt like I could not spend 2500 on something that I do not get for very long - I would rather have a mad hatter tea so many people can enjoy it, I know it will cost more, but I guess it comes down to what you want. It is your day, the sensible money conscious side tells me save the money have an intimate, the other side tells me it is one day to celebrate your love and you both as a couple, blow it....like I said I am not sure what I would do - but my family numbers would not allow me to have an intimate.

 

[sajetto]

Renting is the worst way to throw away money. It's so hard to get into a home from an apartment! I would definately not rent if you can get away from it.


My 2 cents!! Just an opinion so please don't take offense.

No offense. There is a very good reason why we are renting and it is in relation to the current market. My DF is a real estate expert and knows that in our area it is a terrible time to buy, however a great time to sell. He sold his 4,000 sq ft house and ran with the profit. That profit more than covers our rent for the 6 months after we marry as well as the down payment on the next home. Which will take that six months (at least) to build This is just a little bit different of a situation.

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

We have been careful, so many rush into things and divorce, but some who rush stay married for 50 years also.

Yep... my husband and I got engaged 5 weeks after meeting, and will celebrate our 25th anniversary in December. Sometimes, you really do "just know". ~Ev

 

[friendofgusgus]

I am really not trying to offend anyone, but I wanted to offer another opinion.

I am an Intimate bride and if we had the money, I'd upgrade to Custom in a minute.

I am pleased with our choices and the Intimate is really okay with me, but we had to make some hard, hard choices regarding the guest list and, honestly, it would be nice to hold a private dinner right there with Disney without searching out one of the few locations on property where that is possible.

If it was even a year ago, it seems like it might have been a bit easier, but Disney is really tightening up what WPs will and will not do and can and cannot allow for Intimates, right down to the timing and availability of ceremonies.

Where I am in the Northeast, it can be a challenge to throw a large wedding with the quality and service of Disney for 20K, so it's actually a real savings for us, even with travel costs, to have our Disney Intimate.

It's true - it IS only one day - but it's also a day you'll only have once.

Just some food for thought-

Jennifer
9 months away today - Wedding Pavillion Intimate 12/11/06

 

[Codie]

Without looking at anyone else's posts (didn't want to be swayed)...I would go a little of both--you CAN do a nice smallish custom for around 15k and then you would have a little left over. WOW--I am green with envy and think you should definitely do it up good!!!

********

Well, now I've read...and I'm apparently in the minority (my dh would say that isn't surprising ). However, just a few things...I think you could have a FABULOUS custom wedding for say 35-40 people--just a few more than 20 but a full reception and dessert reception and you get the annual passes and everything else and keep it at the minimum expenditures. I had 99 guests and we kept it under 17k...just a thought...