Homeschool Chat Part III

[KibbyCat]

My big question is...will it mess her up if we try this for a year and it doesn't work?

Probably not. Most likely, your daughter will flourish having a year "off" where she can focus on learning and excelling at her strengths without all of the drama to distract her.

And is high school a right of passage that we should all go through?

Personally, I don't think so. Just as each child is unique, their learning styles are also unique, and "high school" (as in the Public school experience) can be good or bad based on that style. For kids who learn best by seeing print in a textbook or listening to a teacher lecture, the school experience can be positive. The social aspect adds to it. But for every other kid (who doesn't fit the state's cookie-cutter mold on the assembly line of public education), it can be more harmful than beneficial.

I just don't want to mess my kids up any more than DH and I already have...! I would appreciate any thoughts you guys may have...Thanks a million!

Ultimately, it is your decision, but I think that your willingness to give it a try is a hugely positive step. Your kids may not get it now, but when they're grown, they will appreciate the fact that you cared enough about their educations to want to give them the best.

 

[disneymom3]

HS however I can't help thinking that she could get much farther with her education if we took all the "drama" out.

My big question is...will it mess her up if we try this for a year and it doesn't work? And is high school a right of passage that we should all go through? I just don't want to mess my kids up any more than DH and I already have...! I would appreciate any thoughts you guys may have...Thanks a million!

Okay, I am a mom who currently feels like the biggest mistake I have made by far on my parenting journey is taking my daughter who was homeschooled since K and putting her in high school. Don't get me wrong, she adjusted great, was more than ready academically, has plenty of friends etc, but I still hate it. It uses SO much time that is just wasted. I keep seeing all of the things she could be doing that she doesn't have time for. At this point we are looking at bringing her back home next year and I know that decision is going to result in a lot of tears. It's not good. There are many other reasons that I am really not up to getting into tonight.

So, if you want to try it, do it before high school. The only thing it might "mess her up" on is math if you don't do it at all. Otherwise, you have to figure it's like a transfer student. They don't come in all having done whatever it is your school may consider a requirement for 9th grade.

As for the right of passage, there are TONS of kids homeschooling through high school now. It's not such an atypical experience as it was even 10 years ago.

 

[disneymom3]

I need help. I'm having a really hard time scheduling my day with homeschooling my 11-year-old son. I have all these great ideas, but they seem to fall through the cracks every single day! My husband is worried he isn't learning enough. Heck, I'M worried he isn't learning enough! I'm failing at this, and to be honest, today I would tell you that I hate homeschooling. ugh. I know a big part of it is that my son has tourettes and ocd, and that's frustrating and difficult to get around. He follows me around all day, and I miss my freedom! There, I said it. Mommy guilt.

Does your test require standardized testing? Even if it doesn't and considering the special needs your son has, I would strongly suggest finding someone who is qualified to administer a Peabody Individual Achievement test. It is so worth it. Generally they cost about $50 and will give you a great idea of where your son is in the basic topics. Then, you can have him tested in the future and see how much he has learned or progressed. It's a really great tool.

If we get to a fun project that is totally a bonus! I have also switched to a 4 day week. Now we rarely finish in 4 days, but Friday is our overflow day. With a 5 day schedule I was always stressed out because we always have a bad day that sets us behind. Now I just use Friday to catch up.

Are you using a curriculum? Maybe a switch is in order. I had to switch this year (November) because he was just fighting me every step of the way. With the new curriculum he has done a 150 (not quite a 180 but pretty close).

I LOVE the 150. that is such a great attitude! You know, I actually am more likely to do hands on stuff than the basics. i used to figure a good day was when we got math, reading and some other topic done. Now, I go with something hands on or exciting that I know they will really remember and then we do math and reading. I focus a lot on trying to fit math and reading into our daily lives more than just on accident.

We're kind-of all over the place with our curriculum. Math-u-see, a 6th grade Reading workbook, Science workbook, and then just whatever else we want to do. I'm not organized about it at all, and I think I need to get in gear. One thing I'm unsure of is...how do I know what he needs to know? I'm afraid to ask the school that I pulled him out of....but if he decides to go back there next year or the year after, I don't want him to be behind.

Thank you for your reply & support.

As far as what he needs to know, your state probably has some scope and sequence info out there. It can be a good place to start. But when it comes to things like reading and math I really suggest you ignore them. You are homeschooling so you can teach your child at HIS level. So do the levels he needs to learn. choose a topic for history that you both want to learn about or that he is interested. Same goes for science.

If you do decided to put him back in, keep in mind like I said above. Kids who transfer from other states and other districts are not going to have learned the same thing at the same grade. For instance, my sister used to teach about the Gold Rush in fourth grade (she teaches public school in CA.) She was confused why we were studying it in 2nd grade. But I live in MN and that's what we wanted to learn more about. Now, if DD had transferred into a CA school in fourth grade, she would have already learned about the gold rush but might have missed the civil war that was covered in 3rd grade. It all works out.

 

[Nicolepa]

I LOVE the 150. that is such a great attitude! You know, I actually am more likely to do hands on stuff than the basics. i used to figure a good day was when we got math, reading and some other topic done. Now, I go with something hands on or exciting that I know they will really remember and then we do math and reading. I focus a lot on trying to fit math and reading into our daily lives more than just on accident.

Thank you. I will admit it took me a long time to get that attitude! I wish I could start w/the hands on and add from there but like I said my son needs consistency. If we try to do x,y,z in y,x,z order he just doesn't deal with it very well. So I make sure he has x,y,z done and then if we have time we do something fun.

I'm also trying to add stuff in other times when he doesn't look at is as school. For example, I lead a cub scout den. All my boys have earned their rank so for the rest of the meetings I'm going to pick out electives that are educational for my son. We are studying weather right now and one of the electives is weather. We are going to make a barometer. We did this last year and he loved it. I eventually got rid of it and he told me that this time we have to keep it forever.

 

[weHEARTmickey]

Nope, no kittens harmed here. Apostrophe S means possessive noun. The ideas belong to Charlotte, therefore they are Charlotte's!
Peace...

That's what I thought! But that kitty-killer siggie scares me everytime!

 

[Mouseketeer67]

bump

 

[chicagoshannon]

Has anyone here used Math Mammoth and Singapore? I'm using Singapore now but am thinking of Math Mammoth since it's on sale through HSBC. I'm wondering how they compare. Is Math Mammoth rigorous?

 

[graygables]

But for every other kid (who doesn't fit the state's cookie-cutter mold on the assembly line of public education), it can be more harmful than beneficial

I would also add to this line of thought that high school today is not at all like high school was when we were kids just like it was nothing like when our parents were kids. Add to that we've had some interim years to romanticize the experience (if it wasn't horrible) and ah, those were the days, weren't they? Or not. I taught high school 15 years ago. What I saw then was enough to convince me to homeschool my children. When High School Musical first came out, I saw the green gleam in my kids' eyes and I told them flat out, if that were REALLY what high school was like, I'd send 'em in a heartbeat, but it's not. It's about kids who push girls with broken arms into lockers just to be mean. It's about "holding it" because you know if you go to the restroom between 3rd & 4th that you are going to get beat up, offered drugs, or see kids doing things kids shouldn't be doing.

When I first announced I was homeschooling 15 years ago, back before it had gained momentum, people would say, "How are you ever going to prepare them for the 'real world'?" That remark always made me . I would say, "When you are at work, when was the last time someone stole your lunch money? When was the last time someone offered you meth in the washroom? When was the last time someone walked by your desk and shoved your files off onto the floor?" For many, THAT is their high school experience, not the posies and proms and homecoming rah-rah-rah that is so commonly touted as the necessary "rite of passage" which has absolutely NOT A THING to do with the "real world".

 

[bumbershoot]

When High School Musical first came out, I saw the green gleam in my kids' eyes ...

OK I loved your WHOLE post, but what I quoted really got me. DS is 6, just about 7, and for whatever reason he's seen a couple of the movies. Because of the movies, he thinks HS is like that! DH, who *liked* school, had to work hard to convince him to believe HIM and not Hollywood, that school just absolutely completely is NOT like that.

I doubt even high schools in Hollywood and BelAir and areas with lots of celebrity kids and acting kids are like that! I know they aren't, as I have a friend whose dad was a celeb, and while he might have gone to school with fun people, they were in a whole different world than I want my kid to be in, and they certainly weren't all beautiful and breaking into song and dance every 10 minutes.

The second movie, I think, where they are whispering "summer, summer, summer" before the bell rings....THAT is the closest they come to my experience of school. Every moment of the day you waited to go home. And once you were home, doing your homework, THAT is where you learned. Then you went back to school (and if you were me you begged to stay home b/c you were so nauseated every morning just thinking of going in) to prove to them that you had learned. Day after day.

DS asks about school often...he wants to be graded, he wonders about homework...I remind him that I'm the teacher and I'm right here. I can SEE if he knows it. And I"m not just going to grade him and leave him behind, not yet at least...I want him to know this stuff, so we'll work on it until he does! And slowly show him how HE can work on it until he knows it, which should serve him well in college.


Wow, you struck a nerve. But we've been dealing with school yearnings since DS was 3 and saw school buses on Blue's Clues and "saw" classes on Dora...

************
In happy news, we're working on catching up to make up for all the teacher and student sick days we've had! Ds is doing SO well. I don't do everything Oak Meadow wants me to do, but I'm working on doing more b/c the floatier woo-woo things they want me to do? Those things work WELL for DS. We're looking at "word families". For me, just listing words helps me. For him, he hates listing words. He LOVED the game of pin the tail on the donkey that we did involving AY words. Loved painting the donkey, painting the tails, the whole thing. For me, I would have had more than enough of it, but he's had the donkey up for 2 days and keeps going back to it. So I'm working on being better for his learning...Oak Meadow is not for the weak, LOL.

 

[bellebud]

DS asks about school often...he wants to be graded, he wonders about homework...But we've been dealing with school yearnings since DS was 3 and saw school buses on Blue's Clues and "saw" classes on Dora...

Are there any homeschool classes anywhere around you that he can participate in (the once a week type thing?) That might satisfy his 'school' curiosity. My kids take homeschool classes w/ their friends every Tuesday (shakespeare, art and science), then we have park day after. So it's sort of like Tuesday is our "go to school day" - even though they're not being graded. But they're w/ 3 different teachers that day, we start at 10am, classes run till 1pm, then we're at the park till 5pm. It's a FULL day, but so much fun for the kids.

 

[gallafamily]

I was curious if anyone has any idea where I can find a example letter for claiming religious exemption? I have done several searches, but can't seem to find one.

 

[sullins5]

For many, THAT is their high school experience, not the posies and proms and homecoming rah-rah-rah that is so commonly touted as the necessary "rite of passage" which has absolutely NOT A THING to do with the "real world".

"Rite of Passage"...this one tickles me because like graygables said it ABSOLUTELY has no merit in how I want my kids raised. Just to give some more input...

We homeschooled our first 2 from 5,6th grade up all the way to graduation. In the 9th grade, due to being newbies (plus it was over 10 years ago), our son thought he wanted to go back to school. We gave him the option of the private school where he'd been or a high school that had a 'gifted' program and AP classes. He opted for the public high school. He had to take the CAT (California Achievement Test) to enter with the school board. They treated him like he was a leper...quite ugly and sure that he wouldn't pass. To my son's credit, at that time (we had schooled 3 yrs at home), he was the only person in our county who had EVER made a 100 on the CAT! So, they let him enter the public high school. What a YEAR!!! He'd come home, tell me for gifted classes the type of books they were reading, how his biology teacher didn't know when the exams were, but handed out the exam the day before (with the answers), and how boys were asking him if he 'enjoyed' himself by xxxx.... My son came home, said "Mom, I don't want to be anything like some of these guys", and was so frustrated. We made him go ahead and finish the year out (thinking he needed the credits), but later on, knew he had only gained knowledge in the end from taking one excelled computer class! When I talked to the principal about all the classes and how I felt they really weren't teaching, giving him the answers the day before an exam, I was told "You have to realize we have 28 kids in the class, and we need alot of them to pass the test"..when I told him "That's not teaching"...he said "You know, no other parent complains about the test with answers"..I told him, I wasn't the parent to 27 other kids, just the one, and I want him to learn, NOT rote memory the day before to pass a test. Pretty sad Huh? So, we brought him back home to finish high school. Now mind you, there are some great public schools out there I'm sure, but for us, we didn't miss the 'rite of passage' some tout it to be!!!

My son graduated from high school, got a full scholarship to college and then won his graduate assistantship for his IMBA. Proud? You betcha! And proud of the man he is today!!!

We're down to our 11yr dd now, homeschooling her as we did the other two, and if she turns out anything like the other two as far as academically, we again, will be proud!! Even if she struggles, her 'rite of passage' will be knowing: WHOSE she is, WHO she is, and WHO SHE is supposed to be!!!

...just another perspective from someone who has 'been there' and 'done that'....

 

[Nicolepa]

I was curious if anyone has any idea where I can find a example letter for claiming religious exemption? I have done several searches, but can't seem to find one.

Religious Exemption for what?

 

[gallafamily]

Religious Exemption for what?

Religious exemption for homeschooling...

 

[Nicolepa]

Religious exemption for homeschooling...

Homeschooling is legal in every state in the US, why would you need a religious exemption? States don't care why you are homeschooling, just file your intent to homeschool and whatever rules your state has in place and you are good to go.

 

[gallafamily]

Homeschooling is legal in every state in the US, why would you need a religious exemption? States don't care why you are homeschooling, just file your intent to homeschool and whatever rules your state has in place and you are good to go.

Because I do not think I should have to answer to the school system every year with testing my kids. They are expensive and none of their business. I have to continue to pay taxes to the school system, why do I have to pay for all my curriculum, and then turn around and spend another $100 to have my kids tested? If I use the religious exemption, I don't have to do any of that.

 

[Nicolepa]

Because I do not think I should have to answer to the school system every year with testing my kids. They are expensive and none of their business. I have to continue to pay taxes to the school system, why do I have to pay for all my curriculum, and then turn around and spend another $100 to have my kids tested? If I use the religious exemption, I don't have to do any of that.

I'm sorry if I upset you, I was just trying to understand why. I've never heard of a religious exemption for homeschooling.

I don't know the rules in your state. Can you have him informally evaluated by a teacher? Here I can. So I could have him evaluated by a friend who is a teacher at no cost to us.

 

[gallafamily]

I'm sorry if I upset you, I was just trying to understand why. I've never heard of a religious exemption for homeschooling.

I don't know the rules in your state. Can you have him informally evaluated by a teacher? Here I can. So I could have him evaluated by a friend who is a teacher at no cost to us.

You didnt upset me, just sensitive I guess. Sorry!

I have checked into that, but it is such a hassel to do it any other way. My understanding is that Virginia is one of the only states left that allow it, but I just want to see what other wrote on their letters. Just want to know how much, or how little I need to give. That's the only reason why I'm asking. I do not want to give any more info then needed. I have 4 kids, so I really do not want this to become a HUGE expense.

 

[sullins5]

You didnt upset me, just sensitive I guess. Sorry!

I have checked into that, but it is such a hassel to do it any other way. My understanding is that Virginia is one of the only states left that allow it, but I just want to see what other wrote on their letters. Just want to know how much, or how little I need to give. That's the only reason why I'm asking. I do not want to give any more info then needed. I have 4 kids, so I really do not want this to become a HUGE expense.

Wow!!! In our state, all you have to do is mail in a card, and that's it. We don't even go into detail (really not their business anyway). And as far as testing, we usually got ours 'tested' by a proctor (or a teacher that was listed as qualified) just for our sakes so when it was time for the ACT, PSAT, SAT ours would be prepped!

I've never heard of 'religious exemptions' either, but hope you find what you need!

 

[Nicolepa]

Here we are supposed to have them tested or evaluated every year, but we don't turn it in to anyone so you could get away w/not testing. I test every year because I like to know where he's at.

Other than that we just have to file an intent to homeschool. We don't even have to tell anyone what we are teaching.