holidays and in-law vent

[Wishing on a star]

wishing on a star--my Inlaws are I think the right word is self centered DH is an only child but man they have no other life but ours!!!

thanks for listening--and for the ideas--next easter has to be better!!!

Dznypal:

Man, can I relate!!!
Let me tell you, I have posted from my own personal experience here, and it is EXACTLY as you desribe... (DH is only child, they are completely and utterly self-centered and self-righteous, etc...)

Let me tell you, point blank, they can only continue to let your life be yours, if you let them...

That's right, people only walk over you and make demands of you IF YOU LET THEM.

Let me re-phrase... If your DH continues to let them. Which he very obviously is doing by leaving you hanging, separated over the holiday, to cook for them.

If you wish to have your own life, and an un-strained marriage with your DH, you really need to discuss this with him, and even consider getting some counseling if your DH continues to constantly place his parents before you, as his wife.

Believe me, this is a battle that I know all too well.

I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when my FIL passed away a few months ago. (very sad, I know, but if you knew him, and the adversarial, self centered, you-know-what that he was......)

Well, guess what, now my DH IS my mils ONLY life!!!

I know EXACTLY where you are sitting... And, I have dealt with this with my DH, and will continue to do so.

I am sorry if you feel you are not able to have a meaningful conversation with your DH, and for him to respect you as his wife.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

trust me, I'll remember a LONG time...have already figured out a super nasty way to pay her back...when you are fat, your kid is short and a brat, you don't go after someone tall and slim w/ a very well behaved smart child, autistic or not. ...just may take my nephew that was polite and gave me a hug this morning...not shorto creapo of witchy SIL...they'll never be able to afford to go, too bad !!!

Yikes! So, the fat short SIL and short nephew somehow have no right to "go after" tall and slim YOU? So you'll rub it in their faces that you can afford to go to WDW and they never will? Charming.

Edited to add this too:

The high point is I have yummy leftovers, and my stupid SIL gains at least a pound a day by the look of her.

Lovely.

 

[minkydog]

Dznypal:

I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when my FIL passed away a few months ago. (very sad, I know, but if you knew him, and the adversarial, self centered, you-know-what that he was......)

I know exactly what you mean. It's horrible to say it, but I was glad with FIL kicked the bucket--he was a nastly old goat who drank and beat his wife.

Our in-laws have had the same conversations for the last 50 years--the wrecks on the Pensacola Bay Bridge, the DJ on WCOA, Aunt Carolyn's latest woes, which cousin is in jail this week , and re-hashing the last funeral, even if is was 5years ago. And they wonder why we moved 400 miles away.

They have come to see us exactly three times--once to get away from a hurricane, once right after FIL died(that's when we discovered how much MIL was drinking ), and once with SIL came up after DH had brain surgery and she announced that she was going home because he was "not sick enough."

DH family has tried putting pressure on us for the last 25yrs, never missing an opportunity to let us know we aren't doing right by the parents. Crap... The upside of living far away is we can do what we want--skip church, watch "Narnia"& eat chocolate all day, play with friends in the creek. Which is what we did.

Our in-laws have always insisted that we drive down and stay with them several times a year. After our last visit(Oh.MY.GOD. ) We said never again and this summer we will be staying at the beach, 10 miles from the ILs--and they can drive to see us!

Or not


We'll be in Destin for Father's Day

 

[Jpgirl]

I feel sorry for all of you who have miserable holidays with family. I used to be in that boat. Started fine with inlaws and then the kids came and boom my mil turned into the most hateful person ever. I absolutely hated every holiday-there was ALWAYS a blow up about a month before. You can't imagine how miserable life was Sept-Jan. Then MIL died and there was a reconcilliation between us and fil. Then he died. Then my mom died and we moved to Texas where there is no family. The holidays are so nice and quiet now. Our kids are 21 an 19 so we just do what we want. This Easter dh and I went to church, planted flowers and then had wine by the pool and cookled out steak. Heaven in Paradise. I do miss family BUT I don't miss the hassles!! Whoever said they're not going to spend the holiday with people they don't like DO IT. Life is way too short to stress out over the holidays.

 

[RUDisney]

Yikes! So, the fat short SIL and short nephew somehow have no right to "go after" tall and slim YOU? So you'll rub it in their faces that you can afford to go to WDW and they never will? Charming.

Edited to add this too: Lovely.

Sing it, sister! If you didn't say it first, I was going to do it.

So glad that you have such a high opinion of yourself wide awake. I'm sure you make one heck of a party guest.

 

[Dznypal]

wishing on a star--

boy have you ever hit the nail on the head as far as in laws go!!!

this might sound stupid but Im starting a notebook and keeping track of the holidays and what we did and with whom!!!

Im starting with last easter since thats mostly when the trouble started!!

Im also putting that T-giving when MIL said 3 days before that she was going to make a chicken and my mom could just call everyone and have them come later!!! Yea 20 people and then my DSIL mom planned her day around what my mom was going to do!!!!

OHMARI

thanks for the nice thoughts about my DS being an officer

I was very surprised at the outcome!!! I thought for sure the officers would be fried!!!!

There fighting to get their jobs back but theres no chance of that!!!

Right now theres not to many that like MPD and yet the "stuff" they have to put up with on the streets!!!! Even before this all happened they got no respect!!

Thanks again everyone for hearing me out and posting about your own holiday happenings with the Inlaws!!

next year will be better

 

[MommytoMJM]

I guess not having living parents and inlaws that live far away has its advantages. No arguments about what we are doing for a holiday. It just Jim, me and if they are available my girls.

Hey, what am I chopped liver? (still expecting you for Thanksgiving [and the girls if thy'd like])

 

[KAMLEM]

when you are fat, your kid is short and a brat, you don't go after someone tall and slim w/ a very well behaved smart child, autistic or not. We're going to WDW in September...have two rooms booked for DS, me, and my mom...just may take my nephew that was polite and gave me a hug this morning...not shorto creapo of witchy SIL...they'll never be able to afford to go, too bad !!!

I actually thought that this post was a joke at first. So, only tall, slim people are entitled to disagree with you? I hope you feel good making fun of a kid who happens to be short - he has no control over that. Would you be happy if your SIL made fun of your autistic child? And then you criticize them because they can't afford to go to WDW? Wow. It must be nice to be as fortunate as you - tall, slim, plenty of money. I'd rather be short, dumpy, poor and NICE!

 

[coolmom99]

I'm sorry that some of you have such difficult in-laws. I guess that I should consider myself very fortunate because my in-laws are wonderful. They are great to my kids and to DH and I as well. I honestly don't know how I would handle some of the situations that you all have described.

 

[TurboKitty]

I am a short, fat mother of a DD well with the autism spectrum disorder, as well as a short DS.

I don't take offense at wide awake wrote.

I think she came into a thread of many vents, and let loose. She could have chosen some words better, but I think she was just so relieved to have a place to let loose some of her frustrations, she let it fly.



Also, jen0610 EEEK! You definitely need a and some

Your mom sounds a lot like my Grandmother, well except that my mother was an only child.