Holding Hands?

[crimowls]

No problems with holding hands or locking arms. Most people at Disney don't care or are too distracted to even notice. Never had the issue with the bathrooms either, though many examples of mistaken gender from cast members. "What can I get you sir.. err ma'am" That kind of thing. Mostly from not paying attention.

That reminds me of a cute story. Last trip there, I sat next to this little girl (maybe 4 years old) on the tram. She stared at me for a few minutes then finally got the nerve up and said, "Are you a boy or a girl?" When I told her I was a girl she said, "Oh. Well, do you like my bracelet?" and we had a whole chat about her bracelet and her shirt and her day at Disney. It was too cute.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

My wife gets that all too often too, "Sir." She's been accosted in the women's room too.

I've convinced her now to finally reply, with "You're welcome *opposite gender*" when called, "sir." It will at least alert the person to their gaffe. Enough already.

Bathroom police. G-d save us all.

 

[sydneysmom]

like a previous poster, I'm probably not your target audience, but I feel compelled to reply.

Having gone to The Fashion Institute in NY, I saw my fair share of just about EVERYTHING you can imagine. Does it bother me? No. (except that there were guys that did look way better in a skirt than me ) Having lived on Cape Cod and spent a ton of time in Provincetown, again seeing my fair share....still doesn't bug me. (Now, the drag queens that come out at night...I have to say, that's PURE entertainment!!!) Now, that bring said, gay or straight couples taking it over the edge...yeah that bugs me.

But honestly, I am not going to sheild my DD from life. Life is life and it's made up of a wonderful mix of people. That's what makes life interesting!! And to be perfectly honest, she's probably going to be WAY more fascinated in seeing a Princess or Mickey Mouse than what anyone is doing.

Live your life.

 

[rocksinriots]

This is making me laugh because I get "sir'd" on average at least twice a day. I am a curvy plus sized woman with a pretty large chest. I wear earrings and nail polish every single day. I have a high pitched voice. I have learned that people ONLY look at your hair to determine your gender.

Sometimes I just completely ignore the person "sir-ing" me. I act like they don't exist especially if they are being rude.

I usually just say "yes can I help you" at which point they get embarrassed and apologize.

There are times when I am speaking to a person (this usually happens with elderly women) with my high pitched voice and they call me sir over and over again.

One time I had a US veteran (he had his hat on) come up to me at my job and say... "hey sir maam sir... whatever the **** you are where is the bathroom!"

The reason I love children is because they will always ask.

Once when I worked at a toy store I was dressing a doll for a little girl and her mom. The little girl said "are you a girl or a boy?" Her mom was soooooooo embarrassed and started to say something to the little girl. I said that it was OK and replied "yes I'm a girl." She said "awesome me too! Do you like purple it's my favorite color?"

Just yesterday a little boy asked me "are you a sissy boy?" I said "actually I'm a girl with short hair." He said "oh that's cool I like you you're nice!"

Another time a child with a bowl haircut and baseball uniform walked up to me and yelled for her mom. When the child's mom (who was in a dress and makeup) came over she said "please tell me you're a girl!" I said "yes I'm a girl." The child got a huge smile on their face and said "See mom I told you there were other girls like me with short hair and boy clothes! I can't believe it ! This is soooooo cool! Thanks for answering my question!" I replied with "no problem always be yourself." I could tell her mom was totally pissed at me but oh well!

Oh perceived gender! I love and loathe you.

<3 Rocksinriots

 

[PHILCT]

I kind of hate that this subject always has two standards when talking about scenes of affection at Disney.

There seems to be more likely one standard for straights and one for gays is more the reality.

If a straight couple is seen kissing lightly, a romantic, loving, short kiss at a romantic scene (restaurant, ride, Illuminations, Fireworks, whatever), NO ONE will complain or refer to this as an outward sign of affection. (I like seeing a romantic couple giving each other a light kiss, it means they are having a great anniversary, honeymoon, date, etc).

Same scene, gay couple, same length of a short kiss, same location at Disney, the judgement factor changes, and once in a while a young straight male will shout with all his might his distaste at witnessing this scene.

There really are two standards on this subject when it comes to light affection by two reasonable adults. I would like to be judged equally.

I will set my timer for 1 second the next time I kiss my partner at Disney.
But can I have two seconds at Illuminations or at Chefs De France?
If the young straight guy says "EWWWWWW !" would the rest of the world please tell him off for saying that? I never heard a straight couple having to endure that "EWWWWWW !" for a light kiss.

Someday it will be great when no one is offended by a light kiss by a gay couple at Disney versus saying that they don't like scenes of affection displayed by "any" couples at Disney.

Thinking about my last Hug and Kiss to Jay at Illuminations on New Years Eve!

Phil

 

[PghLybrt]

I kind of hate that this subject always has two standards when talking about scenes of affection at Disney.

There seems to be more likely one standard for straights and one for gays is more the reality.

If a straight couple is seen kissing lightly, a romantic, loving, short kiss at a romantic scene (restaurant, ride, Illuminations, Fireworks, whatever), NO ONE will complain or refer to this as an outward sign of affection. (I like seeing a romantic couple giving each other a light kiss, it means they are having a great anniversary, honeymoon, date, etc).

Same scene, gay couple, same length of a short kiss, same location at Disney, the judgement factor changes, and once in a while a young straight male will shout with all his might his distaste at witnessing this scene.

There really are two standards on this subject when it comes to light affection by two reasonable adults. I would like to be judged equally.

I will set my timer for 1 second the next time I kiss my partner at Disney.
But can I have two seconds at Illuminations or at Chefs De France?
If the young straight guy says "EWWWWWW !" would the rest of the world please tell him off for saying that? I never heard a straight couple having to endure that "EWWWWWW !" for a light kiss.

Someday it will be great when no one is offended by a light kiss by a gay couple at Disney versus saying that they don't like scenes of affection displayed by "any" couples at Disney.

Thinking about my last Hug and Kiss to Jay at Illuminations on New Years Eve!

Phil

Thinking about it, I think you are right. I also think there is a different standard for women compared to men too.

? Why is it when this question os asked do people always bring up the fact that a peck is fine but making out in front of everyone is just wrong and over the top. That was never asked so why address it? It reads as if that is all we do. So frustrating!


Responding to the bathroom issue: Happened again last night ending with some nasty comments from Mom amd Dad. We went to a local sports bar to watch my GF game on tv. I would imagine most people there knew her. The game is a WOMENS FOOTBALL game. She went to the bathroom and a girl from a close table (maybe 14) went in after her. Oh the comments at the table when that girl got back. Luckily we were close to done and left. We said nothing (as most know her as a player and you just can't mouth off in those situations). The parents were of cource waiting at the exit ,smoking in front of the doors. They needed to shout a few nice things at us.

 

[ban26ana]

I'm also not the target audience, but I'm with all of the PP. Just don't have sex in front of my kids, and you're good to go.

I've never seen anyone stopped by the bathroom police. I'd be super ticked off if someone stopped me. And even if you were a man, what exactly could you possibly do in there? We have individual stalls, so you're not going to see anything. You're not going to go in and start wildly molesting young children with a billion parents in there. So what if a man were to accidentally go into the women's room? People need to get over themselves.

 

[taylor3297]

I see no big deal with people holding hands in public. Who cares if it is two girls, two guys, or a guy and a girl. When my granny was still alive I would take her to the mall whenever I was visiting. She always held my hand even though I was a grown up. She told me that holding hands isn't sexual, it is sign of showing affection for someone you love. I was never embarrassed to hold her hand in public.

Now who here remembers holding hands with their friends when they were little. Did anyone think twice about that? Nope. So I say go ahead hold hands if that is what you want to do. Also, if you are having a romantic moment a kiss would be a nice thing to do.

My dd who is 7 recently saw two guys exchange a quick kiss at the airport. She thought nothing of it. A little boy that was standing near her said to his Mom " eeww gross those two guys just kissed". Before that boy's mom could say anything, my dd turned to him and said "What is wrong with people kissing who they love? Don't you give your daddy a kiss? He is a boy"

The mom didn't say a word and just walked off with her son. I told her that I was proud of her.

The only thing I regret not doing is reminding my dd that sometimes people have two moms or two dads.

 

[Luvchefmic]

No problems with holding hands or locking arms. Most people at Disney don't care or are too distracted to even notice. Never had the issue with the bathrooms either, though many examples of mistaken gender from cast members. "What can I get you sir.. err ma'am" That kind of thing. Mostly from not paying attention.

That reminds me of a cute story. Last trip there, I sat next to this little girl (maybe 4 years old) on the tram. She stared at me for a few minutes then finally got the nerve up and said, "Are you a boy or a girl?" When I told her I was a girl she said, "Oh. Well, do you like my bracelet?" and we had a whole chat about her bracelet and her shirt and her day at Disney. It was too cute.

Sad that we lose that all accepting non-judging outlook on life isn't it?

I'm straight but I would rather see 2 people holding hands and being in love (no matter what the "gender") than see 2 people arguing, bullying, and makling their own "little scene" (again no matter what the gender)


and FWIW I lurk here a lot I find it a very peaceful board

Ruthie

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Okay, first off, full disclaimer. I'm a happily married straight female.

That said: I think there should be MORE gay PDA. I have a very good reason for this.

Out of all the small children who will see two girls or two boys kissing there will be some who will grow up to be GLBT and all the others will know someone who is GLBT. If kids (and everyone for that matter) are exposed to affectionate gay couples and it is considered just as normal for two men or two women to smooch in public as it is for a man and a woman to smooch in public, those kids will internalize that perception. If those kids internalize that perception those kids will either grow up to be non-homophobic or may just be more accepting of themselves when they become teenagers and suddenly (gasp!) understand in a cogent manner that they are attracted to people of the same sex.

As a former HS teacher, I dream of the day when gay teenagers have the same percentages of suicides and depression as their straight peers, and I honestly think that having same sex PDA accepted on the same standing as straight PDA, as well as knowing family, friends, neighbors, teachers, ministers, cashiers, shoe salesmen, accountants and fire fighters who are somewhere in the GLBT spectrum is the only way that will happen.

 

[MistressMerryweather]

Also, not your target audience, LOL but I have no problem with holding hands or locking arms either. I am not gay and neither is my best friends but we have always walked with our arms locked together. People who mind something as trivial and loving as that just have their panties in a bunch. Now, as a mama of 3, I don't want to see any making out in front of my littles, gay or straight. No need for that there. You know the old saying...get a room!

 

[lillielil]

We hold hands/hug pretty much constantly and unfortunately, we have gotten some negative reactions from people at WDW. The one that stands out the most was the straight couple that formed a barrier between us and their children while we were in the line for Space Mountain, and then yelled at their kids not to look. Of course the kids hadn't even noticed anything until they said that!

On the other end of the spectrum, when we were walking around with bride and groom ears, we got loads of positive comments from cast members and even from other guests.

No "wrong bathroom" issues here, but I still don't understand why we have separate bathrooms to begin with.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Another member of not your target audience--but when we travel with friends to WDW it is pretty much a non issue (I think my best friend had an issue once on a bus, not PDA related though and we all had to deal with someone loudly being disapproving (clearly wanting us to overhear) once while waiting for a boat but that seems to have been started because my son had on red nail polish. You cannot avoid all the idiots no matter where you go--but Disney is about as close as you can get to it.

The bathroom thing is funny (though I am sure it is annoying to live with). It can't be all about the hair though. My son has very delicate features and loooong eyelashes. He cut his hair really short last summer (he ended up hating it but that is another matter) and STILL got called a girl fairly often (even when wearing very boyish clothes and no nail polish!). Between that and his 13 year old sister frequently being confused as his mother we have decided people are just weird

I say go, enjoy each other and don't worry about it. Have a fantastic trip.

Okay, first off, full disclaimer. I'm a happily married straight female.

That said: I think there should be MORE gay PDA. I have a very good reason for this.

Out of all the small children who will see two girls or two boys kissing there will be some who will grow up to be GLBT and all the others will know someone who is GLBT. If kids (and everyone for that matter) are exposed to affectionate gay couples and it is considered just as normal for two men or two women to smooch in public as it is for a man and a woman to smooch in public, those kids will internalize that perception. If those kids internalize that perception those kids will either grow up to be non-homophobic or may just be more accepting of themselves when they become teenagers and suddenly (gasp!) understand in a cogent manner that they are attracted to people of the same sex.

As a former HS teacher, I dream of the day when gay teenagers have the same percentages of suicides and depression as their straight peers, and I honestly think that having same sex PDA accepted on the same standing as straight PDA, as well as knowing family, friends, neighbors, teachers, ministers, cashiers, shoe salesmen, accountants and fire fighters who are somewhere in the GLBT spectrum is the only way that will happen.

I completely agree with you. I want my kids to see loving and tender relationships between all types of people and internalize all of them as normal and good.

 

[gandbsmom]

My family lives in a very small town in Michigan, and one of the things I love the most about WDW is meeting and talking to so many different kinds of folks. My town is almost entirely white, straight, and Christian, so I love my sons getting to see and talk to the many kinds of people that live outside of our tiny fishbowl. We were at Disney in December and sat in Casey's Corner with a great couple who were there with their nephew. They were both super nice guys, clearly awesome uncles and very loving to each other. When we left, my 11 year old son asked if I thought they were a "couple". I said yes I thought they were married since they were wearing wedding rings. This led to a great discussion between my son and I. He said he thought both guys seemed really cool. This kind of real interaction, minus societal stereotypes, is priceless to me as a parent. I want my kids to be accepting of EVERYONE, not just people who are exactly like them. So I say - be yourselves. We should all enjoy the beautiful, diverse world we live in!

 

[wallyb]

When we don't do that we walk separately, not due to discomfort or lack of acceptance. Merely the fact that he rarely takes ten steps without finding something shiny to go looking at and can't walk in a straight line.

OMG!
I totally do this too.

 

[Timrobb]

we have never really been into "hand holding" but, it the mood strikes, we certainly lock hands.

Most of the time, I am holding one of DD5's hands and Tim is holding the other. You should see some of the looks we get . We don't give a crap what others think . . .we are proud to be two loving dads with a pretty great daughter.

We leave TOMORROW for our 10 day trip and I will report back on any and all PDA we see !

 

[gmi3804]

This isn't exactly hand-holding, but what do you suppose the reaction from the audience would be at the Hoop-De-Do if the performers asked if we were celebrating anything and I volunteered that we're celebrating 19 years together? We're planning a trip in October to celebrate, and my partner has never been to the Hoop.

We celebrated 18 years last year, and the Streetmosphere performers at DHS couldn't have been more hospitable, especially Dorma Nesmond (natch!). In fact, earlier in the day we'd asked the "Mayor" if Dorma was around, and he said she'd be out later and to look for her because, "she loves her gays!"

 

[karibritt01]

This isn't exactly hand-holding, but what do you suppose the reaction from the audience would be at the Hoop-De-Do if the performers asked if we were celebrating anything and I volunteered that we're celebrating 19 years together? We're planning a trip in October to celebrate, and my partner has never been to the Hoop.

We celebrated 18 years last year, and the Streetmosphere performers at DHS couldn't have been more hospitable, especially Dorma Nesmond (natch!). In fact, earlier in the day we'd asked the "Mayor" if Dorma was around, and he said she'd be out later and to look for her because, "she loves her gays!"

19 years is quite an acheivment... Congrats! I would say go to Hoop, announce your celebration, and to heck with what anyone else thinks. I often tell my kids when they find something that embarasses them "You don't know these people, and will never see them again in your life. Who cares what they think?"

 

[SassyLassy]

Also, not your target audience, LOL but I have no problem with holding hands or locking arms either. I am not gay and neither is my best friends but we have always walked with our arms locked together. People who mind something as trivial and loving as that just have their panties in a bunch. Now, as a mama of 3, I don't want to see any making out in front of my littles, gay or straight. No need for that there. You know the old saying...get a room!

This exactly! When I am with my gf's, whether at Disney or not, I could care less if ignorant people think Im gay. I feel sad that they are trapped in that small mind of theirs. Also, I really want my kids to grow up and just love....love themselves, their friends and who ever they fall in love with. That means that they need to know that we accept everyone for who they are or who they look like. NOW I also want to show them what we dont approve of....I think its grossly inappropriate for anyone to do! They would definitely get the side eye from me !!

Go, have a great time and enjoy yourselves!

 

[OrlandoMike]

what do you suppose the reaction from the audience would be at the Hoop-De-Do if the performers asked if we were celebrating anything and I volunteered that we're celebrating 19 years together?

First of all congratulations!

Second, by all means mention it! Not only that, but when you check in ask the front desk for some anniversairy buttons and make sure you get a sharpie and put "19 years" on them!

And enjoy every great comment you get!

On a side note...the official paper for the company just ran an article on how the wedding pavalion was celebrating 15 years, and one of the pics was of two guys holding hands in front of the pavalion!