Hiring a Nanny?

[Maggie'sMom]

Can anyone offer advice on hiring a nanny?

Here's the situation: My DD is bipolar. We've been struggling to keep her stable this year, and her behavior when she is not stable is a problem. We are switching from a private school with a full day Kindergarten to our public school so they can provide her the special needs services she needs. The private school has not been cooperative in implementing even the most basic interventions she needs to be successful, e.g. a sticker chart for behavior and a 10 minute break mid-day somewhere quiet. They promised back in October they would do these things, but haven't followed through and are now flat out refusing to do anything to help her. Unfortunately, our public school only offers a 1/2 day Kindergarten. During a meeting a couple weeks ago when the decision to change schools was made, the special ed coordinator from the public school district assured me they would write the IEP such that DD would qualify for a full-day placement. But a different coordinator is responsible for writing the IEP, and we are now being told she will not qualify for full-day.

She will not do well transitioning between the public school and a daycare on a day to day basis. I said this at the evaluation meeting and everyone in the room at that time agreed that would not be a workable situation for her. My parents live 2 hours away and are offering to alternate weeks living with us so they can care for DD during the time she is not in school. However, I just can't ask them to do this. It is way too much of an imposition on them.

So we are thinking of hiring a nanny. Someone who could care for DD before/after school and possibly full-time during the summer. But I don't know where to begin. Being that DD is a special needs child, I worry about leaving her with someone not familiar with special needs children. I was thinking of contacting our local university's school of education and trying to locate a student studying special ed who is looking for a part-time/summer job. Does anyone have advice? Is there a better place to try to find someone? What are the pitfalls of hiring a nanny? Any advice you can offer would be appreciated.

 

[kpgriswold]

Please check out www.greataupair.com . This is a website where you can enter in any search criteria you want -- age of your nanny, special training, someone with experience with special needs kids -- and find nannies and au pairs from all country (or even the world, if you want.)

Once you find someone who looks promising, you will need to pay a small fee to have acess to the nanny's address, email and phone number. You can then contact her directly, interview her, and make your deal.

The site also has lots of good (and free!) informational articles on how to interview a nanny and what to look for what to avoid. Great reading even if you don't use the site for anything else!:

We've found our last 3 nannies using this site, and love it. We really took our time getting to know the girls well thru emails and phone calls before we hired anyone, so there were no surprises once they started work.

 

[DbleTheFun]

I agree... greataupairs.com is a great site!!!

 

[quentina]

Can anyone offer advice on hiring a nanny?

Here's the situation: My DD is bipolar. We've been struggling to keep her stable this year, and her behavior when she is not stable is a problem. We are switching from a private school with a full day Kindergarten to our public school so they can provide her the special needs services she needs. The private school has not been cooperative in implementing even the most basic interventions she needs to be successful, e.g. a sticker chart for behavior and a 10 minute break mid-day somewhere quiet. They promised back in October they would do these things, but haven't followed through and are now flat out refusing to do anything to help her. Unfortunately, our public school only offers a 1/2 day Kindergarten. During a meeting a couple weeks ago when the decision to change schools was made, the special ed coordinator from the public school district assured me they would write the IEP such that DD would qualify for a full-day placement. But a different coordinator is responsible for writing the IEP, and we are now being told she will not qualify for full-day.

She will not do well transitioning between the public school and a daycare on a day to day basis. I said this at the evaluation meeting and everyone in the room at that time agreed that would not be a workable situation for her. My parents live 2 hours away and are offering to alternate weeks living with us so they can care for DD during the time she is not in school. However, I just can't ask them to do this. It is way too much of an imposition on them.

So we are thinking of hiring a nanny. Someone who could care for DD before/after school and possibly full-time during the summer. But I don't know where to begin. Being that DD is a special needs child, I worry about leaving her with someone not familiar with special needs children. I was thinking of contacting our local university's school of education and trying to locate a student studying special ed who is looking for a part-time/summer job. Does anyone have advice? Is there a better place to try to find someone? What are the pitfalls of hiring a nanny? Any advice you can offer would be appreciated.

Take it from someone who learned the hard way.....IEP = disqualification for full day kindergarten. Do not let them write one. I am dealing with this now for my son.......I learned for the past mistakes.

 

[momofsamandeden]

Have you tried contacting your local homecare agencies? I work with special needs children and I am placed through a homecare agency and most insurances cover it if it is a mental health need. That being said I am trained in behavioral sciences and that is crucial when dealing with a child with mental health special needs.

 

[HicksWDW]

Take it from someone who learned the hard way.....IEP = disqualification for full day kindergarten. Do not let them write one. I am dealing with this now for my son.......I learned for the past mistakes.

I'm confused. What do you mean by IEP equaling disqualification?

 

[princessmom29]

Take it from someone who learned the hard way.....IEP = disqualification for full day kindergarten. Do not let them write one. I am dealing with this now for my son.......I learned for the past mistakes.

Not in our school district. Any child with an IEP MUST be placed in full day if at all possible. The only reason not to would be something medical that means they cannot do full day. Legally students with IEP'S have to be accomodated in the least restrictive environment possible, which means they must be given the opportunity for anything a regular ed child has, and given the support to be able to do that unless it is proven impossible. You are actually better off and have more control over the situation with an IEP than without. Once that IEP is written your child MUST be accomodated in a regular ed classroom if at all possible no matter what kind of resources it takes to do that. It is part of NCLB legislation that every "nontypical" child be given as trypical an enviornment as possible by any means necessary. They are entitiled to a free and appropiate public education that is as close to what a typical child gets as possible. If that means they need a full time aide with them, then it is the school's responsibility to provide that. They are legally bound. If there is no IEP however, then they are not legally required to make any accomodations. An IEP is legal recouse to the parent of a special needs childto get what he/she needs.

 

[quentina]

I'm confused. What do you mean by IEP equaling disqualification?

Full day kindergarten (in areas where it is not the usual) is for high risk children. In our district, we have one class for full day. If you have an IEP, you are disqualified from full day because the IEP gets the children the extra help they need. There are 6 criteria that disqualify and this is one of them (in PA).

Next fight is "no child left behind". I had my daughter repeat first grade....that is a another post!

Know what criteria exists in your state and what will disqualify for full day K. Good luck!

 

[quentina]

Not in our school district. Any child with an IEP MUST be placed in full day if at all possible. The only reason not to would be something medical that means they cannot do full day. Legally students with IEP'S have to be accomodated in the least restrictive environment possible, which means they must be given the opportunity for anything a regular ed child has, and given the support to be able to do that unless it is proven impossible. You are actually better off and have more control over the situation with an IEP than without. Once that IEP is written your child MUST be accomodated in a regular ed classroom if at all possible no matter what kind of resources it takes to do that. It is part of NCLB legislation that every "nontypical" child be given as trypical an enviornment as possible by any means necessary. They are entitiled to a free and appropiate public education that is as close to what a typical child gets as possible. If that means they need a full time aide with them, then it is the school's responsibility to provide that. They are legally bound. If there is no IEP however, then they are not legally required to make any accomodations. An IEP is legal recouse to the parent of a special needs childto get what he/she needs.

Wow....we may be relocating......I wish that was the case here. I feel like my daughter will never get out of learning support class.

My two little ones were adopted from foster care, major developmental delays. Although, I do feel that the LS class has been amazing, I don't want her there forever. I want to see her mainstreamed into the regular setting. I am not sure my goals and that of the district are the same. Just had my IEP meeting last week......expressed my concerns....time will tell.

I will tell you, my son will NOT have an IEP until school has started. He does need full day K, hopefully, we can get him in there.

 

[princessmom29]

Full day kindergarten (in areas where it is not the usual) is for high risk children. In our district, we have one class for full day. If you have an IEP, you are disqualified from full day because the IEP gets the children the extra help they need. There are 6 criteria that disqualify and this is one of them (in PA).

Next fight is "no child left behind". I had my daughter repeat first grade....that is a another post!

Know what criteria exists in your state and what will disqualify for full day K. Good luck!

It sounds like half day is the norm is your area, and that is where children with IEP's should be placed, in as close to a typical environment as posible. It would be a BAD thing to have a bipolar child with no IEP in a full day class. The teacher could by law make NO accomdations for her that are not being made for whole class as needed. She would not have access to an aide or to do something like the 15 min cool down midday the op describes unless it was something that the calss as a whole had access to. There could be no modification of the curriciulum to meet her needs. She would be expected to receive instruction like everyone else in the class, with no reteaching when she is having a bad day, or pulling her out when she cannot handle being part of the group.

 

[princessmom29]

Wow....we may be relocating......I wish that was the case here. I feel like my daughter will never get out of learning support class.

My two little ones were adopted from foster care, major developmental delays. Although, I do feel that the LS class has been amazing, I don't want her there forever. I want to see her mainstreamed into the regular setting. I am not sure my goals and that of the district are the same. Just had my IEP meeting last week......expressed my concerns....time will tell.

I will tell you, my son will NOT have an IEP until school has started. He does need full day K, hopefully, we can get him in there.

this is federal law. It sounds like your school system is choosing to over look it. If you ask for your child to be allowed to try a mainstream classroom, they should by law accomodate that request unless and until it proves impossible. What would he be geting in full day that he would not be getting in half day with sped support??

 

[sparklynails23]

If the teachers at the private school couldn't handle her, I think you will have a difficult time finding a college student who can. I would look for someone with experience and pay accordingly if I were you.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Thanks for all the info! I'll check out the greataupair website and also a homecare agency. I hadn't thought of that as an option.

In our school district, 1/2 day Kindergarten is all that is offered unless an IEP is written specifying that the child needs so many services that they can only be provided if the child is in school all day. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, DD is academically at grade level or ahead of grade level. She functions well enough in a normal classroom that she will not need intensive services that will require her to be at school more than the 1/2 day.

From what we've discussed so far with the principal and the special ed coordinator, she will first be placed in a separate class for children with emotional disabilities. Once they get to know her, learn what her triggers are and what she can handle and what she can't, she will most likely be moved to a regular classroom with an aide, and eventually the aide will be with her only part-time. She can perform well most of the time in a regular classroom with some simple interventions.

She was at the same private school for preK last year during the time we were going through all the testing and diagnosis process, and was able to perform successfully with just a sticker chart as an intervention. Unfortunately, the teacher she has this year has refused to do the sticker charts because she "doesn't think they will work" and the school director is backing her rather than me. DD's psychologist spoke with the teacher, and the teacher completely dismissed what the psychologist told her. I involved the public school district to have an MFE performed. The school told me they would follow the suggestions of the special ed team. HA! An OT found significant sensory issues and suggested some simple things the school could do and was rebuffed. The teacher and director have decided that they don't want to deal with DD so they refused to implement anything the special ed team suggested. The enviroment at the school has become toxic for DD. We are trying to move her as quickly as possible. But hitting some snags.

Today was just one hell of a day! I had a ton of stuff to do at work. I'm dealing with all this stuff regarding the schools. DD's dad was being a PITA. DD was being moody. She knows she will be switching schools and it is worrying her. So her moods have been all over the place. I can't say I blame her because my moods have been too! Just dealing with all this is almost more than I can handle right now. I'm feeling like I'm about ready to snap. So right now I am venting here and having a drink. Both are making me feel better so thanks for "listening" and for all the advice.

 

[happymommy]

I don't have any personal experience with this, but my good friend has twins that have some learning and developmental delays (also severe speech apraxia, and couldn't hardly make any sounds until at least kindergarten).

She fought her school system to have them repeat kindergarten (they were put into it at age 5, despite summer birthdays and they couldn't even say one word yet). They do get also some therapy at school, but she's fought hard for all they get (and she also pays for additional therapy outside school).

Anyway, if you are going to spend any money, I'd recommend hiring an advocate first. She did, and she was expensive, but got the boys a lot more speech therapy at school, plus got the district to finally allow them to repeat first grade. They got an extra year to mature, and are doing really well now.

I'd look into hiring a professional to help you with this, so you can get what your daughter needs from the school. Good luck!!

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

First of all, an au pair is NOT a nanny. Be very careful not to use the terms as though they mean the same thing.

An au pair is basically an exchange student who will look after your child for a set number of hours per week. They are young and will likely have NO experience with special needs children. They are only allowed to stay at a job for one year, so if your DD has trouble with transitions be aware that you will be moving a new au pair in every 12 months.

My advice is to call a nanny agency in your area and explain, in detail, to the placement agent what sort of assistance you need. Professional nannies sometimes specialize in certain areas, depending on their educational background. I would NOT go through online placement services. The advice to check into home health placement is also a very good. Your average college student, even one who is studying to work with special needs children, may not have enough experience under her belt to be successful in implementing the sort of structured routine you want for your DD.

Best of luck to you!

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't have any personal experience with this, but my good friend has twins that have some learning and developmental delays (also severe speech apraxia, and couldn't hardly make any sounds until at least kindergarten).

She fought her school system to have them repeat kindergarten (they were put into it at age 5, despite summer birthdays and they couldn't even say one word yet). They do get also some therapy at school, but she's fought hard for all they get (and she also pays for additional therapy outside school).

Anyway, if you are going to spend any money, I'd recommend hiring an advocate first. She did, and she was expensive, but got the boys a lot more speech therapy at school, plus got the district to finally allow them to repeat first grade. They got an extra year to mature, and are doing really well now.

I'd look into hiring a professional to help you with this, so you can get what your daughter needs from the school. Good luck!!

Why did she enroll them in kindergarten if they couldn't speak? My sister's ds has been receiving ST from EI since the age of 2, and if he's not ready for kindergarten when he's 5, she'll hold him back. Apraxia is a tough one, and she gets services several times a week.

 

[carolinagirl121]

Use a placement agency. I prefer the local over the national agencies. We found our nanny through a local agency and are so happy with her. Using the agency costs more money, but all of the background and reference checks are done for you and they have a larger pool than you would find on your own and can meet your specialized needs. Also, with the agency we had up to a year to change our minds and they would help us find another nanny at no cost. They should find 2 or 3 that they believe suit your needs who you can the interview. We did the interviews and found that we were immediately draw to one person who we chose to hire. While you might have luck online and it is cheaper, I think in your case you would want to use an agency who can meet you needs. If you have any questions, PM me, we just went through the process 6 months ago.

 

[clutter]

There is a website for nannies trained for special needs kids, I just don't know the name of it. Specialnannies, maybe? My sitter (an old family friend) found employment throuhg it, while she was studying behavior therapy in college. Of course, it partly depends on whether there is a college nearby with that kind of coursework.

Good luck.

 

[southtexasmom]

I have no advice on finding a nanny but I do have a lot of experience in dealing with special needs and a school system. Learn the laws, know what services the school is required to provide. Keep a record of every single person you talk to at the school and don't be afraid to go to the school board if necessary. Ask for copies of everything in your childs file.

My son has ADD, he really, really struggled in elementary school, middle school was a total nightmare, most years he had amazing teachers who bent over backwards to accomodate my DS, but I had to really stay on top of everything and had to keep the lines of communication open with the teachers. Now my DS is a senior in high school, he has overcame a lot of issues and should graduate in the top 10% of his class. Good luck.

 

[Bridge203618]

definitely look for a nanny placement agency. Many of them have a lot of experience even with special needs. I worked for one (administratively) here in Ohio and might be able to answer some questions, but definitely the right way to go.