High School Graduation Announcements

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Is it tacky to send out announcements and not invite the person to the ceremon?. My DD is graduating from HS in a few weeks. We only have 4 tickets. I had senior pictures made to send to family members and to notify them of her accomplishments (she is salutatorian of her class) and that she has graduated, plus we are NOT having a party. What is your opionion?

Can they be sent after the graduation with a picture? Or should they be sent before? Or lastly, should I not send them out at all?

 

[aprilgail2]

yes it is tacky. Basically its just saying "send a gift!"

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

yes it is tacky. Basically its just saying "send a gift!"

Okay, I definetely get that part of it. Is there a way to send the announcement and add that gifts are gratefully declined. Or something to the fact that it is just an announcement? If so is this still tacky?

Does anyone have another idea on how to announce a graduation and send the picture?

 

[barkley]

i'm sure you will get a variety of answers.

my personal opinion is that it depends on what kind of communication/relationship you have with the intended recipients.

if you have the kind of relationship with certain people where you keep them up to date on your/they keep you up to date on their kid's accomplishments/milestones then i don't think it's inappropriate to send these (and in the absence of a party/open graduation for attendance, the wording on the announcement might be something akin to a post grad. notification such as "on xxx date, our dd yyy graduated as zzz...". that way there's no confusion to people thinking they are invited to the graduation or left hanging thinking they will get a party invite).

if your relationship with certain people is realy only updated with holiday cards or rare phone calls, then i think it's more appropriate to hold on to the photos and include them with your holiday greetings and any photos you normaly send at that time of year.

i'm touched when i receive these types of things from those friends/family who i share a real relationship with, but when i get one (or an engagement announcement, after the fact marriage announcement, birth announcement...)from/for a young person i've had no contact with let alone no real interaction in years with their parent(s) save at most a once a year holiday card with at best a mass produced 'holdiay letter'-i tend to look at it less as a "join us in sharing our joy" announcement vs. an announcement that an occasion that infers a gift should be sent has occured.

 

[4nana]

IMO not tacky at all.

Definitely acceptable and popular in our area to send around graduation date. Matter of fact, my dear parents sent announcements 46 yrs ago when I graduated ! DH and I raised 4 HS honor students we were very proud of, who thankfully went on to be 4 honor college graduates and sent announcements for all ! I feel an announcement and their picture is a nice way to celebrate student's accomplishment with close family and friends, party or no party.

I don't look at it as asking for a hand out, but am always honored to send graduate $$ or gift for their celebration to let them know how proud we are. Congrats to your DD and your family on her success! Have fun celebrating!

 

[laurie31]

Here they are not veiled gift requests; they are just...announcements.

It's not rude to send them to those who aren't invited. In fact, I would be insulted if I *didn't* get one from a niece or nephew. When I graduated (1985) we sent them to all the family. We only have a few tickets as well; no one expects to be invited to a public school graduation here.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Would anyone have a wording that they used. I am trying to find some online, but they all seem to be invites to the actual graduation.

Also, when should I send them out: before or after the graduation...

As some of the other posters have stated, I am over the moon excited for my DD. She has made me and DH extremely proud. I would shout it out for the whole world if I could!!

Thanks for the replies, I am going to search some more for examples....

 

[Tink888]

JMHO, I don't think they are tacky to send or a gift-grab. I've just always taken them as announcements and nothing else. If I wanted to send a gift, I did and if not, I didn't.

We just received one from my DH's niece whose son is graduating this year. We have met them once, years ago. No tickets were included which I didn't expect since we are extended family and I doubt we'll be receiving an invite to any party thrown as we are 1500 miles away. I know they are not looking for gifts, just proud of their son, as they should be.

I think you should send the announcements. Do not mention that no gifts are expected - people will send or not send based on what they want to do anyway. This is an exciting time for you and your daughter. Be proud and let the world know. The people who matter won't be offended and the people who'd be offended don't matter.

ETA - Every announcement I've ever received has been sent prior to graduation.

 

[lucyanna girl]

In our part of the country announcements are the norm and are expected. Kids order them thru the school along with their graduation gowns, etc. We are always happy to get them every year.

Penny

 

[PirateSnowmen]

There was a thread like this about a month ago. There were very differing opinions.

In our part of the country announcements are the norm and are expected. Kids order them thru the school along with their graduation gowns, etc. We are always happy to get them every year.

Penny

That's how it is here, too. When I graduated last year, we sent announcements and a picture to family to let them know I was graduating. Some of the family I hadn't seen in years, and most of them responded about how nice it was to hear from me. If they are sent purely for the gifts, that is wrong. I don't see anything wrong about sending out announcements for the purpose of announcing the graduation.

 

[phragmipedium]

I think this is really regional. Everyone in my area sends graduation announcements and senior pictures, and I don't believe it's viewed as a gift grab - in fact, when we run into family friends we haven't seen in awhile and they know something like this is coming up, they say "Please be sure to send an announcement when graduation gets closer!" I've had a couple people do this since I've been pregnant also, about birth announcements. We send/receive those around here also, as a way to share some early cute pictures of the new arrival and the statistics - particularly for those family members who aren't in the area, might not see the baby for awhile, and would like a little keepsake.

Family members and friends who want to give gifts will and those who don't, won't - whether you do announcements or not. If you're sending them with the spirit of sharing your child's accomplishment and not just coming up with as many people as you can think of in hopes of gifts, I see nothing wrong with it. You should be proud.

Many people *will* give gifts, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. Standard pre-printed announcements will make no reference to gifts, but if you are making them yourself and would be uncomfortable receiving them, I think a small-print "No gifts, please" is simple and standard. Just be aware that those who want to send gifts will probably do it anyway, so unless you are adamant I would not mention gifts at all. I think most commencements are limited in how many guests people have - if you are concerned the the announcement will be confused with an invitation and you are making them yourself, you could state just the date of graduation and leave off the time and location.

I'm typically pretty sticky about etiquette (registry info in invites, etc) but I don't see an announcement as a request for a gift. We've received lots of announcements in the past and given gifts to those we felt appropriate and not for others. I'd be surprised to not receive one, especially from close family and friends.

 

[laurie31]

Would anyone have a wording that they used. I am trying to find some online, but they all seem to be invites to the actual graduation.

Also, when should I send them out: before or after the graduation...

As some of the other posters have stated, I am over the moon excited for my DD. She has made me and DH extremely proud. I would shout it out for the whole world if I could!!

Thanks for the replies, I am going to search some more for examples....

I've never seen one that wasn't ordered from the school. They usually have an outline of the school or something official-looking on the front, and then have formal wording inside. There's a slot to insert those little name cards so you know who it's from. We sent those cards in our announcements and also traded them with classmates. Now that I think of it, the announcements that I've gotten this year have the little cards, so that's still how it's done around here, anyway.

Okay, I knew we had one from DH's nephew so I went to look at it to see the wording, and lo and behold, there were two more that came in the mail today, from my cousin's children. I had no idea one of them was finishing high school this year! All 3 announcements had the school seal on the front and inside said something along the lines of "The faculty and staff and graduating class of School Name announce commencement exercises on Date Time Place" and yep, they had the little cards. I had NO CLUE what that one child's middle name was until just now!

I guess if the school doesn't print their own, you could do something as formal or informal as you like, maybe using the school colors.

 

[powellrj]

I made post cards last year for my DSs graduation. I also used them as an open house invite. I just had his senior picture on the front and the open house information on the back. You could use the same idea to announce that she had graduated.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My dd graduated last yr and of the many threads out there, we found it to be a regional thing.

While many will say it is tacky, which I agree, I was raked over the coals by family for not sending them out. My mother was horrified. She was so proud her granddaughter was graduating and could not understand not sending out announcements.

In fact a couple of weeks ago she got a grad pic from me to send to her brother because the one I sent him was too small.

I did end up sending out a few to my aunts, uncles, etc...to appease my mom.

 

[4 Ears]

I am the OP from another thread on this same subject.
I looked up etiquette on the subject and it said to send them out the day of or after if it was only an announcement.
So, I sent them out about a month before grduation with an invite to his "open house", which is a no-no. Did not see a reason to purchase twice as many stamps
He is VERY old fashioned and did not want a "party" because that implies gifts, but we may have an open house
He goes to a public school and it is known that an announcement is much different than an invite to gradauation, although we did not like how they read
So depending on what is the norm in your area, how much of a rebel you are, how much you stick to etiquette...... do as you please

 

[golfgal]

Back in the day it was very common to send graduation announcements. They were almost wedding announcementish. We had the option of ordering these when the kids ordered cap/gown, etc. I don't see any reason not to send them and if people think they are a gift grab, that is their problem. It is simply a way to share an important event in someone's life, nothing more, nothing less.

Around here everyone sends announcements. Generally they include an invite to an open house grad party, but not always. Typically they are a photo greeting card with the information on them, much like a Christmas Card. The kids also post party information on Facebook.

 

[fhtpdw20]

The Senior Class of XXX High School announces its commencement exercises (date, time, location). This was all centered on card. In the lower left hand-corner has line "admission by ticket only".

 

[MIGrandma]

I am happy to get that type of announcement from close family and/or friends. But when they come from someone you rarely, if ever, see then it's just like asking for a gift/money so I hate those.

We got a graduation open house invitation a couple of days ago, not invited to the actual ceremony just the open house. We won't be going, but I feel obligated to buy a card and send a check. It's for DH's brother-in-law's sister's daughter. We never see them. I wouldn't recognize the girl if I saw her in a store. I think it's tacky to invite people that the graduate doesn't really even know. They're just asking for gifts/money.

 

[golfgal]

I am happy to get that type of announcement from close family and/or friends. But when they come from someone you rarely, if ever, see then it's just like asking for a gift/money so I hate those.

We got a graduation open house invitation a couple of days ago, not invited to the actual ceremony just the open house. We won't be going, but I feel obligated to buy a card and send a check. It's for DH's brother-in-law's sister's daughter. We never see them. I wouldn't recognize the girl if I saw her in a store. I think it's tacky to invite people that the graduate doesn't really even know. They're just asking for gifts/money.

Are they really though or are you just ASSUMING that? We sent some invites out to people we know can't attend DS's party and in no way do we expect a gift from them but we thought they would like to know about his graduation because they were important parts of his life as a little boy. I would love for their "gift" to be to come to his party as we haven't seen them in many years because they live in other states.

 

[erincon23]

Around here, they're very common. Several people I know purchased the pre-printed ones from the company that offers the caps and gowns -- "The Faculty and Graduating Class of (high school) Announce the Thirty-Second Commencement Exercises" (date). I'm planning to send out a few -- we were going to have a party, but DS tells us now he doesn't want one (which is fine, hubby is recovering from being out of work for six months, and that cash could go toward school necessities), but I wanted to let family and friends-- all close, none of this major broadcast to people we don't know thing. I made my own announcement -- scanned the crest from the preprinted, wrote a poem about DS's high school achievements, all in fun, and I'll print a couple of pictures of him on the inside of the card (instead of including separate pix). Even if I know a child well, I still like to get the announcement -- I think it's fun and friendly, and aren't we all proud of our kids getting to that point? Some kids I'll send a little something to, and others I'll mentally congratulate (unless I see them somewhere, in which case I'll actually congratulate...)

Erin