High school dress code

[Angelhalo]

The schools' dress code isn't the problem. Where you are shopping is. Do you honestly think that shopping for school appropriate clothing in stores like Abercrombie, whose catalogs are nothing short of soft porn, is going to net you modest and appropriate attire for a child?

Maybe you should re-think the types of clothing you allow your child to wear before you criticize the dress code...or take your daughter's word for it that it is "ignored".

Parents of girls (myself included) are constantly complaining that stores do not carry age-appropriate clothing for our daughters without making them look like street walkers, or mature beyond our years, but if you continue to just "give in" and support these companies by spending your money on their way overpriced product, nothing will change. I refuse to even set foot in any of the stores you mentioned. I could care less what label is on my daughter's clothing, as long as she is dressed neatly and appropriate for her age (10). She does not get all the name brand items, nor do I spend tons of money on whatever pop star clothing line is popular at that moment--it fades faster than they can outgrow the clothes. She has always looked clean, neat, and in style at school without any issue about her clothing from anyone, her peers included.

Perhaps I'm also lucky that my daughter has very little interest in not dressing modestly, and prefers to wear dresses and skirts to anything else, so I make alot of them for her, and she prefers the ones I make to the ones I buy her at Old Navy, etc. She does love Hannah Montana and such though, but since she never has owned a bunch of licenced clothing articles, she doesn't really ask for them now either.

I think the school's dress code is normal, and if she doesn't own anything that breaks the code, then you don't have to worry about her being inappropriately dressed for school. There are plenty of places you can buy proper clothing, you just aren't looking in the right places.

--this is one more reason why I LOVE school uniforms. Takes the discussion out of school clothing shopping, and there are no arguements over what to wear in the morning. pick a top, pick a bottom, and you're good to go. Much cheaper than other clothes, as well.

Except for the uniform thing, I agree with everything you said, but wasn't brave enough to say it. Why do we find it acceptable that kids dress with their buttcheeks almost hanging out of their shorts and then get upset that the schools find something innapropriate about that? When did we lose all sense of modesty?

 

[My sister's princess]

JB111107, This is exactly where I was going, but I didn't dare to say it this way. I am 20 years old, and don't find the need to show my cheeks or my cleavage to the world...... The basics from JCPenny and a few hoodies are great to build around. When you buy more classic clothing *think plain colors, simple cuts* and don't go with what is hot, you can keep it for a few years to. I have some clothes that I have had since my freshman year in highschool!

 

[undercovermom]

you know, I have to say something here...

it is a mother's perogative to dress her daughter in whatever clothes suit the mother's sense of decency, style and budget.

but some of you are sounding very judgmental about other people's choices.

My younger dd is a high school junior and older dd will start college next month. older dd has a part time job at Abercrombie. both girls have been shopping there for years. they have never brought home anything that would violate the school dress code or that was inappropriate for a girl their ages. I've seen things in the store that I won't buy for my girls, but I do like some of their stuff.

 

[My sister's princess]

The world is a judgemental place, and it is a mother's job to protect her children from that. I was in NO WAY saying the OP is a bad mother, or that she doesn't dress her children in a good way. The thought she is putting into trying to help her daughter dress in a way that is hip and within the rules is heartwarming! What I feel is that what teen girls wear has gone too far. If you are 15 you do not need the word "sweet" on your low rise sweat pants, that show your rainbow strings from your under"pants" When a young woman presents her body instead of her mind, she is not doing herself justice.
More than once my mother told me to change, and when I look back on the clothes she told me to take off I thank her .

 

[undercovermom]

and I understand...my daughters wear clothes that are presentable and respectable but still cool and exciting. mom brag, they are both very attractive mom brag, they are both excellent students. older dd's goal is to become an elementary school teacher. younger dd wants to do something with diplomacy/foreign service. I think we've achieved a balance.

 

[Just Jan]

My daughetr goes to a private school so of course there is a dress code ie: length of skirt, collared shirts etc. If the girls choose to wear pants they can't have'outside pokets and they must wear a blazer with the pants, but they can get away with the pocket rule if the blazer covers the back pockets. Who is going to say lift the blazer so I can check the pockets lol. Absolutley no jeans in the academic center EVER!
We buy a lot of her things at Old Navy. She has gotten used to the dress code and doesn't complain, but changes into jeans or sweats after class.
The boys can wear shorts, but still have to wear a dress shirt, tie, and blazer. The kids do look sharp

 

[bsnyder]

Yep, Dan, it's unbelievable, but true! back at you, my friend!

The schools' dress code isn't the problem. Where you are shopping is. Do you honestly think that shopping for school appropriate clothing in stores like Abercrombie, whose catalogs are nothing short of soft porn, is going to net you modest and appropriate attire for a child?

Maybe you should re-think the types of clothing you allow your child to wear before you criticize the dress code...or take your daughter's word for it that it is "ignored".

Parents of girls (myself included) are constantly complaining that stores do not carry age-appropriate clothing for our daughters without making them look like street walkers, or mature beyond our years, but if you continue to just "give in" and support these companies by spending your money on their way overpriced product, nothing will change. I refuse to even set foot in any of the stores you mentioned. I could care less what label is on my daughter's clothing, as long as she is dressed neatly and appropriate for her age (10). She does not get all the name brand items, nor do I spend tons of money on whatever pop star clothing line is popular at that moment--it fades faster than they can outgrow the clothes. She has always looked clean, neat, and in style at school without any issue about her clothing from anyone, her peers included.

The price of the clothes isn't an issue, at least for me. I'm comfortable with the budget we've set for her back to school wardrobe, and yes, I realize there are stores that are less expensive, but we all get to choose how we spend our own money, and this is one way I enjoying spending mine.

And I'm not really saying the school dress code is the problem. I like the dress code. But it does sound like (not just from DD but from talking to some other moms) that it's not very strictly enforced. It will be, from my end, but I sure wouldn't mind some back up from the school on their end.

There are plenty of things at the stores I mentioned that are not appropriate, IMO, for my daughter to wear. So we don't buy those things. But there are also plenty of other items that are - cute, stylish and well made. Just no shorts or jeans skirts, at least this year! We'll hit some of the department stores tomorrow, and maybe have better luck.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

OT: I will never set foot in an Abercrombie or Hollister. I can't justify supporting a business who seems to think it is okay to stick some shirtless guy outside their store to sell their clothes (I thought the purpose was to dress them in the clothes they want to sell?) or make soft porn catalogues.

I agree that if you are having a hard time you might want to check out deparment stores. I haven't shopped at the Gap in years but if my memory serves, their stuff was never a problem for dress codes.

Also, depending on her height you could try the misses or petites section of most department stores. I'm 23 and shop in petites, and it's gotten much better. You can find some good wardrobe basics like a denim skirt that is long enough to meet the dress code and some nice polo shirts. Not all of it is "old" looking.

 

[bsnyder]

OT: I will never set foot in an Abercrombie or Hollister. I can't justify supporting a business who seems to think it is okay to stick some shirtless guy outside their store to sell their clothes (I thought the purpose was to dress them in the clothes they want to sell?) or make soft porn catalogues.

I agree that if you are having a hard time you might want to check out deparment stores. I haven't shopped at the Gap in years but if my memory serves, their stuff was never a problem for dress codes.

Also, depending on her height you could try the misses or petites section of most department stores. I'm 23 and shop in petites, and it's gotten much better. You can find some good wardrobe basics like a denim skirt that is long enough to meet the dress code and some nice polo shirts. Not all of it is "old" looking.

I really can't stand Hollister. It's so dark, it's difficult to even read the price tags. And there always seems to be only one register open, with a long line, and then a bunch of young employees standing around chatting with each other. And they have absolutely no concept of customer service.

I've told DD that when she gets a little older she won't feel the need to dress in the identical clothes that everyone else has, and she'll want a store that really appreciates her business. Then she won't go anywhere but Nordstroms.

 

[Angelhalo]

you know, I have to say something here...

it is a mother's perogative to dress her daughter in whatever clothes suit the mother's sense of decency, style and budget.

but some of you are sounding very judgmental about other people's choices.

My younger dd is a high school junior and older dd will start college next month. older dd has a part time job at Abercrombie. both girls have been shopping there for years. they have never brought home anything that would violate the school dress code or that was inappropriate for a girl their ages. I've seen things in the store that I won't buy for my girls, but I do like some of their stuff.

I freely admit that I am being judgemental on this topic. My cousin worked at Abercrombie for 3 years. I love him to death, but I still think that the majority of their clothes are skanky. It may be your perogative to dress your kids in whatever you want, but you should be aware that everywhere they go in those clothes, people are judging them. Its human nature. It may not make it right, but it's the way it is. I look at what so many teenagers wear today and it's no wonder so many of them have such self esteem issues. They aren't deemed attractive and worthy as human beings unless half their body is hanging out of their clothes.

This is MY opinion, and I am entitled to it, just as you are entitled to yours.

 

[Angelhalo]

The world is a judgemental place, and it is a mother's job to protect her children from that. I was in NO WAY saying the OP is a bad mother, or that she doesn't dress her children in a good way. The thought she is putting into trying to help her daughter dress in a way that is hip and within the rules is heartwarming! What I feel is that what teen girls wear has gone too far. If you are 15 you do not need the word "sweet" on your low rise sweat pants, that show your rainbow strings from your under"pants" When a young woman presents her body instead of her mind, she is not doing herself justice.
More than once my mother told me to change, and when I look back on the clothes she told me to take off I thank her .

I agree 100%

 

[golfgal]

The dress code at our kids' schools are enforced, basically no underwear showing, appropriate length for shorts, etc. If kids don't meet the dress code they have some lovely apparel in the office that they can put on . There aren't a lot of kids that try to push the dress code issue here. Do we have problems finding appropriate clothing, not at all. Even at Hollister, Abercrombie, etc. they have choices for longer shorts, etc. It comes down to saying "no, you aren't buying those shorts" and that is pretty much it.