Hey guys, can I have some opinions? **EDIT:Poetry Thread**

[VolleyballQt07]

***Feel free to post any poems you wrote so we can see your poetry ability! (That totally did not make sense!)***

So today in studyhall I was bored so I wrote a poem for my friends.......

Can you please tell me what you think about it? I think its good but thats just because I wrote it. I was hoping to get some feedback.......


Thanks,
Brit
VolleyballQt07

~*My Best Friend*~

There are times I think that little things will make my world end.
But I have support, that I call, my best friend.

There are times I think that life is unfair.
But I have my best friend, who is always there to care.

There are times I think that I am not good enough in the world.
But my best friend cheers me up by bashing another girl.

There are times I think I may have a crush.
But every time I see him my best friend always laughs and makes me blush.

There are times I think I am lonely and un-cool.
But my best friend is always right beside me, acting like a fool.

So, there are times I think that my world will end.
But then I always think of you.....my best friend!​

 

[Rockstar mentality]

Thats cute. Its a real talent to be able to write poems. But no offence but arent poems supposed 2 go into great detail of is my english teacher just lyig 2 me like she normaly does

 

[XxCuriosityxX<3]

I like it! Its cute.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

I loves it.
Simple but Cute!

 

[ohdisco]

Thats cute. Its a real talent to be able to write poems. But no offence but arent poems supposed 2 go into great detail of is my english teacher just lyig 2 me like she normaly does

Well, it depends on what kind of writer you are. I don't write poetry (I wrote 15 year old angsty horrible poetry though, haha), but I write prose and I go into great detail.

In all honesty, that was a very, very cute poem . Simple, but very cute.

 

[BabyPiglet]

Very cute.

 

[sallskellington]

awwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[reminisce]

thats very cute, but i think that maybe the second line doesnt really need any commas

 

[joepic]

How sweet! I'm sure your friend will love it!

 

[VolleyballQt07]

Thats cute. Its a real talent to be able to write poems. But no offence but arent poems supposed 2 go into great detail of is my english teacher just lyig 2 me like she normaly does

I'm not a true poet so IDK rather do I really care.......

thats very cute, but i think that maybe the second line doesnt really need any commas

Yeah I figuredthat after I printed it out then I was like "Eh! Whatev!" lol

Thanks guys.

My mom and one of my other friends read it and they both said it sounded suicidal.....I was like really shocked!

 

[BabyPiglet]

I'm not a true poet so IDK rather do I really care.......


Yeah I figuredthat after I printed it out then I was like "Eh! Whatev!" lol

Thanks guys.

My mom and one of my other friends read it and they both said it sounded suicidal.....I was like really shocked!

Oh my gosh, it's not suicidal! It sounds like any other teenager to me.

 

[VolleyballQt07]

Oh my gosh, it's not suicidal! It sounds like any other teenager to me.

lol Thanks Jenny! My friend read it and was like "OMG! Do you have suicidal thoughts?!" And my mom was like "That's good but it souns suicidal. I was like WTH? It was a simple poem for my friends. But whatever.

I'm glad you guys like it!

 

[VolleyballQt07]

I wrote this poem for my Parenting and Children class last semester. This one is kind of sad but we had to write poems for abuse/violence.....


Here in the dark, cold room.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I wait for my husband’s attack.
Wanting to get up and leave,
I know he soon will be back.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I sit here and ask myself why.
Why is he so controlling?
Why is it so hard to cry?

Here in the dark, cold room,
I sit here and quietly wonder.
That if do I get up and leave,
Where oh where will I wander?

Here in the dark, cold room,
I think about my best friend.
And how she is always there,
Beginning to the end.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I sit here and wonder about.
All the other women in the world,
And how the abuse numbers have sprout.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I look at my wedding ring.
And remember that one special day,
When we got married in the spring.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I remember my high school years.
And think of all the times he had hurt me,
And all the times I shed those tears.

So here in this dark, cold room,
I wait for my husband’s attack.
I want to leave but I know,
He soon will be back!

 

[reminisce]

i write lotsa poetry..heres a little blip

each waking moment
and joyful minute or year
is a gift to be treasured
to hold what is dear

 

[::Snow_White::]

I just wrote one for this poetry contest.
I don't really want to post it though.

I would post some of my other ones, but all the bad ones are the only ones I have on my computer.
I have better ones in my book, but I turned it in for english class and won't get it back. Or if I do, it'll be awhile.
Although my teacher did tell me today that she was grading mine and it was really great.
I love poetry.

That was cute btw!

 

[BabyPiglet]

I wrote this poem for my Parenting and Children class last semester. This one is kind of sad but we had to write poems for abuse/violence.....


Here in the dark, cold room.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I wait for my husband’s attack.
Wanting to get up and leave,
I know he soon will be back.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I sit here and ask myself why.
Why is he so controlling?
Why is it so hard to cry?

Here in the dark, cold room,
I sit here and quietly wonder.
That if do I get up and leave,
Where oh where will I wander?

Here in the dark, cold room,
I think about my best friend.
And how she is always there,
Beginning to the end.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I sit here and wonder about.
All the other women in the world,
And how the abuse numbers have sprout.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I look at my wedding ring.
And remember that one special day,
When we got married in the spring.

Here in the dark, cold room,
I remember my high school years.
And think of all the times he had hurt me,
And all the times I shed those tears.

So here in this dark, cold room,
I wait for my husband’s attack.
I want to leave but I know,
He soon will be back!

My friend Caty wrote a small poem similiar to that but in the end the woman dies.

 

[Axel]

I wrote this two years ago and if this isn't "dark thoughts" to you, I've got some other stuff I could pull out.

These thoughts,
They shouldn’t plague me,
But they do and
They cage me.
I can’t take it;
I can’t stop it.
All these feelings,
Whirling inside.
I feel helpless,
I feel dead.
I don’t feel fine.
I may tell you
That I do,
But don’t believe me,
It’s not true.
What I need is a shoulder
(To lean on)
An ear
(to whisper in)
What I need is
Y o u

 

[StitchfansJr]

I got bored one day and I just wrote this.

"Life is a rollercoaster
It has more than just ups and downs
but sharp turns and corkscrews
Sometimes in life we
can be going up a
big hill then going
straight down
Maybe even enough
to make you cry
At the end of the ride,
you thought "Wow it's
over already?" and life
beneath you vanishes
so you go to a place
called heaven to ride
another roller coaster-only
this one has no sharp curves
that are mind-boggling
but just a straight line."

 

[AngienLuLu]

Aww!
Thats really cute.

 

[marypops!]

Run
Around
In
Nothing
But
Orange
Waste

I don't know... It's something I randomly made up yesterday...