Hey, Catholic parents with children in CCD. . .a ? and Input, please. (VERY LONG)

[Colleen27]

I think an issue is the timing of Confirmation. Our church has it scheduled for the spring of freshman year, right in the middle of teen angst. CCD is never fun, I didn't like going as a child, and the only time my kids have liked it was after Confirmation, when they volunteered as teachers. The fact that it's either right after school or early Sunday mornings doesn't help. I think many don't appreciate the sacraments until they are adults, which is why Catholic parents push their children through this particular one. After 8 years of CCD, this is the last year. I have friends who converted to Catholicism as adults, and it's a lot of work.

Yeah, our parish just moved Confirmation from 8th to 9th grade and it is causing a lo of complaints among kids and therefore parents. They also changed it so that kids who attend the parish school still have to attend CCD for two years in preparation for Confirmation, which has gone over like a lead balloon. The kids have religion class 5 days a week and attend mass twice a week already, but now they have to make time for the Confirmation classes as well (often at the expense of sports or other activities, since the classes are on a Tuesday night). Fortunately my older DD was confirmed right before the change. We'll see what happens when younger DD gets there. Older DD decided, at 12, that she wanted to join the Church and get baptized in order to be confirmed with her class. Younger DD has, so far, just followed older DD's lead so I'm not sure where she'll stand on Confirmation when the time comes.

My mom forced me to attend church through Confirmation. It was a celebration not because it was something I chose but because it was the milestone that "freed" me from CCD and going to church every week, and it was 20 years before I set foot in a church again other than for weddings, funerals, and baptisms. I've taken a much more laid-back approach with my kids; they attend Catholic school (for academic reasons) but their engagement with their faith beyond that is their own to shape.

 

[ronandannette]

Actually, they do have a choice. I told the priest I was an atheist and my parents were forcing me to be confirmed. He would not allow me to go through confirmation no matter how much my parents huffed and puffed. Confirmation is reaffirming baptism. Catholic baptism is a choice parents make for babies. Confirmation is the choice the teen makes for themselves to stay with the Catholic church.

God bless that priest for his common sense. There's a degree of sanctity to these processes that is completely denigrated by compelling non-believers to participate. And it no more makes them members of the body of Christ than living in a garage makes you a car. It's all about the engagement of the "inner- man"; mind and spirit - not any outward appearance. Free will is the (God-given) nature of human beings and the choice to accept or reject the gospel call is one of the most significant ways a person exercises it.

And as for infant baptism done as a response to social pressure? I'd love it if clergy would start to decline this sham too. I've been asked more than once to stand as a God-Parent for children whose parents are not professing Christians and have no intentions of raising their families in faith. They seem to think that because I'm "churchy" that I'll lend some sort of vibe to the proceedings that will impress Grandma, or whatever. No thanks.

 

[mjkacmom]

God bless that priest for his common sense. There's a degree of sanctity to these processes that is completely denigrated by compelling non-believers to participate. And it no more makes them members of the body of Christ than living in a garage makes you a car. It's all about the engagement of the "inner- man"; mind and spirit - not any outward appearance. Free will is the (God-given) nature of human beings and the choice to accept or reject the gospel call is one of the most significant ways a person exercises it.

And as for infant baptism done as a response to social pressure? I'd love it if clergy would start to decline this sham too. I've been asked more than once to stand as a God-Parent for children whose parents are not professing Christians and have no intentions of raising their families in faith. They seem to think that because I'm "churchy" that I'll lend some sort of vibe to the proceedings that will impress Grandma, or whatever. No thanks.

I'm guessing you aren't Catholic, where parents have been baptizing babies for 2000 years. And of course the priest said that, there is no way a child is going to be Confirmed if they say they don't want to, to the priest. Catholics don't baptize babies because of social pressure, but because it is our religion.

 

[ronandannette]

I'm guessing you aren't Catholic, where parents have been baptizing babies for 2000 years. And of course the priest said that, there is no way a child is going to be Confirmed if they say they don't want to, to the priest. Catholics don't baptize babies because of social pressure, but because it is our religion.

I was raised Catholic - I understand. But our "religion" isn't the same as our faith, is it. Those parents who see this sacrament as entry into some sort of club are the ones missing the point.
ETA - I'll say no more on the boards, please feel free to PM is you want to discuss it further.

 

[PopSugar]

PS

ZOMBIE THREAD circa 2004

 

[cornflkgrl]

I was forced to attend CCD, and a Catholic HS. I did it because I didn't have a choice then. I made my confirmation (11th grade back then) and then the choice to continue practicing my religion became mine. I didn't step foot back into a Church unless it was for a wedding or a funeral. When my first child was born, I did have her baptized because I knew it would break the hearts of my grandmother and my father if I didn't. Same with my second. I did not baptize my third.
My children are being raised without religion. My family did not disown me either.

You can force your child to go to CCD, go to Chruch, but you can't force them to believe and have faith. I couldn't imagine forcing my child to share my beliefs, isn't part of parenting to raise them to be independent and think for themselves? As long as you raise GOOD people, who cares if they practice your religion, or any other for that matter?
Darolyn, I feel sorry for your son, and if what you say about your dh is true, he may find that none of this will matter because your son will be an adult soon, making his own decisions, and may resent your dh for what he forced upon him. Is losing a relationship with your child more important than making sure they are have and practice the same religion as you?

Amen.

 

[drew64]

--it stopped to hold the kids hostage in CCD after graduating from parochial school, thus facilitating the size of the program.

If a church has to hold anyone "hostage" in order to have members, it is time to call it quits and give it up!!

 

[mjkacmom]

I was raised Catholic - I understand. But our "religion" isn't the same as our faith, is it. Those parents who see this sacrament as entry into some sort of club are the ones missing the point.
ETA - I'll say no more on the boards, please feel free to PM is you want to discuss it further.

If parents think of it as a club, so be it. Religion is a personal thing, no one should tell another person that their religion is wrong (which has been causing wars for thousands of years).

 

[katie111]

oops....zombie post!!

 

[Hikergirl]

Just curious, what happens if a kid doesn't do the homework? Are they not eligible to be confirmed?

 

[L&Lfan]

I find all churches/religions at least in the west have trouble keeping the kids engaged unless the kids themselves undergo that personal conversion which is necessary to be committed to one's religion. And if the parents don't practice their faith it's even more difficult to keep the kids interested.

 

[L&Lfan]

PS

ZOMBIE THREAD circa 2004

I think that because CCD has begun again in many dioceses alongside the new school year, this topic has become interesting to some posters again.

 

[Missy1961]

Just curious, what happens if a kid doesn't do the homework? Are they not eligible to be confirmed?

Yes.

 

[aprilgail]

Actually, they do have a choice. I told the priest I was an atheist and my parents were forcing me to be confirmed. He would not allow me to go through confirmation no matter how much my parents huffed and puffed. Confirmation is reaffirming baptism. Catholic baptism is a choice parents make for babies. Confirmation is the choice the teen makes for themselves to stay with the Catholic church.

My cousin forced her daughter to go to confirmation classes- the kid said time and time again that she did not believe in that stuff but the mom insisted she do it- so she made her confirmation (which was a big lie since she did not believe any of that) and hasn't stepped foot in a church since- so what was the whole meaning of the mom making her go through all that- no clue. In my parents religion when I was young you made your confirmation in 4th grade (you didn't make "communion" like Catholic people) So they forced me to go- even at that age I knew that I didn't believe in that but since I was young I was forced to go through with it- if I was in high school they never would have been able to make me go through with that. And they also made me the deal where "if you make this you won't have to go to church again"- so what was the point of it? I made it- it meant nothing to me, I felt like a hypocrite doing it even as a young child. My daughter is free to pick her own religion when she is ready- she can pick none, she can pick Catholic, Jewish, whatever- as long as what she picks MEANS something to HER- its not my place to force a religion on my child that she may not even believe in.

 

[DizBelle]

Religion is a banned topic on the DIS.

Still - life is too short to do something you hate.

 

[JJZMgailey]

Since this is such an old thread discussing a religious topic no longer permit on the boards, I'm going to go ahead and close it.