Hey, Catholic parents with children in CCD. . .a ? and Input, please. (VERY LONG)

[The Mystery Machine]

I really feel like the oddball but I loved learning about my religion. I remember the teachers begin very dedicated men and women of faith who were volunteering their time and effort to the process. I enjoy adult education classes and Bible studies in my parish to this day. I don't think I'll ever be "through" learning about my Christian faith. I really feel bad that so many others had negative experiences of religious education.

I also love learning about different faiths. I just do not agree with them.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Bamboozled by an old thread again.

 

[darolyn]

My 16 year old son just text me how much he dislikes CCD classes while in his class: 3rd. If he does not go, his father will make his life living misery. He will not be allowed to do anything. All choices wll be removed and absolutley no priveliges. I am upset for I hear both sides and am stuck in the middle. I understand both sides yet both are unyielding. I am petrified that our lives are about to make a horrible drastic turn. Any advise

 

[Kitty 34]

My 16 year old son just text me how much he dislikes CCD classes while in his class: 3rd. If he does not go, his father will make his life living misery. He will not be allowed to do anything. All choices wll be removed and absolutley no priveliges. I am upset for I hear both sides and am stuck in the middle. I understand both sides yet both are unyielding. I am petrified that our lives are about to make a horrible drastic turn. Any advise

and to the DIS.

 

[jevs]

My 16 year old son just text me how much he dislikes CCD classes while in his class: 3rd. If he does not go, his father will make his life living misery. He will not be allowed to do anything. All choices wll be removed and absolutley no priveliges. I am upset for I hear both sides and am stuck in the middle. I understand both sides yet both are unyielding. I am petrified that our lives are about to make a horrible drastic turn. Any advise

My advice is to start a new thread about your concerns as this one is several years old and previous replies may not be relevant.

Btw. Welcome to the DIS...

SOOO many new posters on the CB lately, wonderful!

 

[lynxstch]

Too early for Halloween yet, but here we go with Zombie threads

 

[Westcoastwild]

My 16 year old son just text me how much he dislikes CCD classes while in his class: 3rd. If he does not go, his father will make his life living misery. He will not be allowed to do anything. All choices wll be removed and absolutley no priveliges. I am upset for I hear both sides and am stuck in the middle. I understand both sides yet both are unyielding. I am petrified that our lives are about to make a horrible drastic turn. Any advise

I usually don't respond to zombie threads but darolyn...if you hang around...care to explain how that qualifies as a "horrible drastic turn"? CCD is only once or twice a week if I understand correctly...I attended Catholic school for 12 years, which means a religious class five days a week, and the long term effects have been, well, nothing. I'm not devout but I'm not antagonistic either. In terms of the rest of the thread- I went through confirmation but I really don't get the whole idea that it's the "last step". It doesn't mean much if your kids don't attend mass or follow Catholic teachings.

The graduation thing and the altar server thing sounds like my mother. No kid is going to regret NOT being an altar server or partipating in senior services. They WILL get sick of hearing their Catholic parent lament over that loss for the next several years, though. So your son should attend the class for his own sanity because his father is never gonna let that go.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I said something polite on another old thread and got treated horribly.

 

[Kitty 34]

I said something polite on another old thread and got treated horribly.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Thanks kitty

 

[cornflkgrl]

Quoting:
"Here do the kids get any choice in this ??? why send them there if the don't like it ??"

No, sorry my kids don't get a choice. They don't like school sometimes, but they still have to go. We made a commitment at their baptism to bring them up in the Catholic faith and that is what I plan on doing. When they are 18 and out on their own, they can make a choice.

Actually, they do have a choice. I told the priest I was an atheist and my parents were forcing me to be confirmed. He would not allow me to go through confirmation no matter how much my parents huffed and puffed. Confirmation is reaffirming baptism. Catholic baptism is a choice parents make for babies. Confirmation is the choice the teen makes for themselves to stay with the Catholic church.

 

[cornflkgrl]

Didn't realize this was a zombie. Should have read through ALL the pages.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Didn't realize this was a zombie. Should have read through ALL the pages.

Its okay, we have all done it. You are not alone

 

[Jaya]

In my public grade school (1-8) in the 1950's, everyone in the 4th and 5th grade went to "Weekday Religious Education" for an hour once a week. As long as your parents didn't object, you marched with your class one block away to a large Baptist church for "religious education." Yes, PUBLIC school.

Can you imagine that happening now? Of course, we always started each school day with the Pledge of Allegiance AND the Lord's Prayer.

Times sure have changed.

 

[Aliceacc]

I teach (math) in a Catholic high school, and my 3 kids have/do attend CCD since they are public school kids. I taught CCD for about 10 years... I only stopped a few years ago when my husband rose to a position leadership in a big parish organization. Since someone had to be home with the kids, I scaled back my own volunteering.

Here's what I see as the problem: far too many parents send their kids to CCD and expect those 60 minutes a week to take the place of other religious training. They're too busy to take the kids to mass, or too concerned that the kids won't behave there as toddlers, or have an important soccer conflict, or simply not interested. One of my neighbors-- she has a preschooler-- was disappointed that the local (non-Catholic) nursery school hadn't taught her daughter her prayers. I suggested she start with the Sign of the Cross and Grace before meals.

Many of the kids I taught in 5th or 6th grades had not been to mass since their First Holy Communion. And the odds were decent that the next time they would be in mass after Confirmation would be for a funeral or wedding. Some, like a neighbor, admit that Confirmation is merely a way to get grandma to get off mom and dad's case about a lack of religious background.

As a result:
1. CCD must assume, justifiably in most cases, that the kids know nothing, and start from scratch.
2. There's no time for anything beyond the basics. Homework becomes necessary, because CCD classes are playing catchup from the get go.
3. CCD teachers are volunteers. So there's no way to ensure that your kid's teachers know their stuff, or are good at handling kids of a particular age, or that they have any classroom management skills. But the DREs have their hands tied-- without the volunteers, what are they to do?
4. It's tough spending that extra hour in class after a full day. And it's also tough to teach a lesson that has some umph, but will also be entertaining enough to keep a group of kids engaged. It takes some real prep to come up with a lesson plan that leaves the kids knowing more about their faith than they did when they walked in, while keeping them interested enough to learn it.

I'm not sure what the answers are.

 

[aprilgail]

I just don't see why you would force this on a kid that has no interest in it and doesn't want to go- what's the point? Its seems its more for the parents than the kids since they really do not care or want to go. Is it just habit because your parents forced you? If they decide later in life they want to be confirmed then that is when they should do it- when THEY WANT it, not just because they are forced into it, sorry- just doesn't seem right a "forced confirmation"

 

[gemini2727]

I teach (math) in a Catholic high school, and my 3 kids have/do attend CCD since they are public school kids. I taught CCD for about 10 years... I only stopped a few years ago when my husband rose to a position leadership in a big parish organization. Since someone had to be home with the kids, I scaled back my own volunteering.

Here's what I see as the problem: far too many parents send their kids to CCD and expect those 60 minutes a week to take the place of other religious training. They're too busy to take the kids to mass, or too concerned that the kids won't behave there as toddlers, or have an important soccer conflict, or simply not interested. One of my neighbors-- she has a preschooler-- was disappointed that the local (non-Catholic) nursery school hadn't taught her daughter her prayers. I suggested she start with the Sign of the Cross and Grace before meals.

Many of the kids I taught in 5th or 6th grades had not been to mass since their First Holy Communion. And the odds were decent that the next time they would be in mass after Confirmation would be for a funeral or wedding. Some, like a neighbor, admit that Confirmation is merely a way to get grandma to get off mom and dad's case about a lack of religious background.

As a result:
1. CCD must assume, justifiably in most cases, that the kids know nothing, and start from scratch.
2. There's no time for anything beyond the basics. Homework becomes necessary, because CCD classes are playing catchup from the get go.
3. CCD teachers are volunteers. So there's no way to ensure that your kid's teachers know their stuff, or are good at handling kids of a particular age, or that they have any classroom management skills. But the DREs have their hands tied-- without the volunteers, what are they to do?
4. It's tough spending that extra hour in class after a full day. And it's also tough to teach a lesson that has some umph, but will also be entertaining enough to keep a group of kids engaged. It takes some real prep to come up with a lesson plan that leaves the kids knowing more about their faith than they did when they walked in, while keeping them interested enough to learn it.

I'm not sure what the answers are.

I've been a Rel Ed teacher for years, and all I can say is AMEN.
Instruction in the Faith a huge responsibilty for the volunteers and, sadly, many parents provide no backup at all as far as teaching their children our traditions, prayers, or taking them to Mass. One hour a week can't make up for no religious instruction at home.
I have always wondered why some of the kids were even there?

 

[PopSugar]

My 16 year old son just text me how much he dislikes CCD classes while in his class: 3rd. If he does not go, his father will make his life living misery. He will not be allowed to do anything. All choices wll be removed and absolutley no priveliges. I am upset for I hear both sides and am stuck in the middle. I understand both sides yet both are unyielding. I am petrified that our lives are about to make a horrible drastic turn. Any advise

You bumped an ALREADY Zombie thread( orig-2004..first bump Jan 2016)
What do you call this-
A DOUBLE ZOMBIE???????

 

[mjkacmom]

I think an issue is the timing of Confirmation. Our church has it scheduled for the spring of freshman year, right in the middle of teen angst. CCD is never fun, I didn't like going as a child, and the only time my kids have liked it was after Confirmation, when they volunteered as teachers. The fact that it's either right after school or early Sunday mornings doesn't help. I think many don't appreciate the sacraments until they are adults, which is why Catholic parents push their children through this particular one. After 8 years of CCD, this is the last year. I have friends who converted to Catholicism as adults, and it's a lot of work.

 

[Hikergirl]

I was forced to attend CCD, and a Catholic HS. I did it because I didn't have a choice then. I made my confirmation (11th grade back then) and then the choice to continue practicing my religion became mine. I didn't step foot back into a Church unless it was for a wedding or a funeral. When my first child was born, I did have her baptized because I knew it would break the hearts of my grandmother and my father if I didn't. Same with my second. I did not baptize my third.
My children are being raised without religion. My family did not disown me either.

You can force your child to go to CCD, go to Chruch, but you can't force them to believe and have faith. I couldn't imagine forcing my child to share my beliefs, isn't part of parenting to raise them to be independent and think for themselves? As long as you raise GOOD people, who cares if they practice your religion, or any other for that matter?
Darolyn, I feel sorry for your son, and if what you say about your dh is true, he may find that none of this will matter because your son will be an adult soon, making his own decisions, and may resent your dh for what he forced upon him. Is losing a relationship with your child more important than making sure they are have and practice the same religion as you?