here's a good friday laugh

[julia & nicks mom]

my sister just e-mailed these to me - I hope they perk up your day! My favorite is the first one!!!

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the ***** up with cookies.
Great Quotes by Great Ladies!

Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
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The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy....
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-
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I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-
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A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-
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Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-
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Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-
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A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-
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The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-
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Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
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Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-
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Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-
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I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-
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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine-
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When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-
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I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
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If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne -
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When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man- if you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
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I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-
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I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

 

[decker96]

Love the Erma Bombeck one! ROTFL!

 

[Beauty]

Some of those are soooooooo true, especially the age 35 one.

 

[aimee11621]

Thank you for those wonderful words of wisdom.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Those are great! I just forwarded them to my mom and aunt!