Here now, daughter is being impossible!!!(update page 3)

[SenecaWolf]

The security thing doesnt change much, my DD16 has her teddy bear (that has NEVER stayed home since she was 2), her favorite backpack, a couple spiral notebooks and favorite pencils along with all her electronics. Since she had never flown before she was NOT happy with having to have it all put away during take off/landing. Thank goodness for jetBlue and their tv's in the back of the seats!

Also, I know what you mean about ropedrop and getting up early! We had a 7:30am ADR at Ohana one day and I made everyone get up for rope drop at the MK on another, oh dear those were NOT good days. I just finished going over all the photopass pics and you can just see the misery in some of her pics

I found what really helped with QS meals were the menus they hand you while your waiting. We would find a spot off to the outside and either she or my son would go in and get the menu and we would decide from out there. It kept her from having to deal with not only the crowds/noise inside but the added stress of deciding what to eat or feeling rushed. (Decision making is a very difficult thing for her)

For the TS meals most were family style or buffet, for CRT we went over the menu before the trip so she already knew what she was going to order.

 

[dmoore718]

I hope you had a better day! HUGS to you..hang in there...it sounds like things are bound to get better as she gets more used to her surroundings.

 

[Mom2six]

First off .. I know firsthand how horrid this is. I know suggestions have been given already, the stroller (DD was in one until 9, with the canopy to shield her. Sunglasses that can block the light, noise lessening headphones.. and the GAC.... There are some days that after 1 hour it was too much for her... The stimulation, noise, people... it's rough for them. I've learned, let her sleep, and when she gets up , that's when my day starts.. I have my kindle, crochet, and just let her get up on her time schedule.. I've found rope drops are not good for us. I found more meltdowns would also come when she needed something to eat.
DD is now 13 and we are doing Disney this August (it's a surprise), she brings soooo much the whole backseat is filled, dolls, blankets, books. DH blows a fit each time.. but it's the only thing that works..she NEEDS those things , the comfort... it's her security when out of her home.... Maybe she's needs some security?

Anyway it does get better!

Absolutely this! My DS 4 also has much worse meltdowns if he doesn't eat for an overly long period of time...and he has eating refusal problems. But I have found that when he is in stressful situations, it is best to make sure he has munchy foods like cheerios, freeze-dried yogurt drops, puffs (the yogurt drops and puffs are actually toddler foods that you get in the baby section). I don't know if your daughter has eating issues, but I've really noticed that in stressful situations his blood sugar seems to drop faster, and he is more willing to munch than at home. Perhaps making sure that she has little snacks will help to keep her mood more stable.

I hope you have a better day! Hugs.

 

[gilesmt]

This may sound totally weird and may not work but it is worth a try. I have to say my DD was not diagnosed with ASD back when she was little, today she may have been, since she does have some social, sensory problems. My DD has had lots of social issues, she has not celebrated a birthday since she was 5, she hates crowds and she hates noise. I never realized this worked for years and years and I now think it must be something like the weights they use on children with autism. She had to have her sweatshirt tied tightly around her waist when we went to Disney, even today at 21 she still needs this, I guess it is like her feeling tied down an stable, at least that's what she tells us. It does not matter how hot it is she has to have it. She is able to use a fanny back also, tightened around he waist. I also agree with stroller and canopy. And I know you are there and this may be hard, but look into fidget toys, my DD still needs pipe cleaners to fidget with while in line, it goes faster to her so I won't argue, other wise every other person in line has to put up with her loud annoying comments every 10 seconds.

My heart goes out to you. I know she is young but my last suggestion would be to do early morning and late nights. This worked great for us after age 7, we would go and do two to three hours in morning. Then to tire her out we would go swimming for three or more hours, and then sleep three to four hours and back to the parks after supper, for four hours. Makes for a chaotic vacation, but less crowds for both DD with CP and DD with whatever her problem is, they now say BiPolor but I don't think so, and me blind, this was better for getting things done and saving my sanity.

 

[Mama Who]

How frustrating! Here:

I don't have a lot to add since I don't deal with anyone on the autism spectrum. However, one thing I WOULD like to say is that this could be a wonderful opportunity for either dad or mom to take the five year old for some one-on-one time to go ride some rides, watch some shows, have a mickey bar. Take a little time each day and trade off with kids, and go spend some time with them alone. Yes, it's a family vacation, but if you're having these kinds of issues there's no reason that everyone should have to be involved in the melt down - and you don't necessarily have to split for the whole day. It might actually make it easier to take a two-three hour time frame and separate everyone!

Hope everything gets better fast! New experiences are tough on almost all kids, plus Disney is FULL of people, sounds, music, yelling, mechanics, etc, so you've got a double whammy; good luck to your family!

THIS! It has benefits for the older girl and the whole group too. If Dad takes the 5 year old on a ride and then later you all meet up the 7 year old may be less likely to refuse to do what her little sister has already done... and even if she does, the 5 year old won't be too scared to go because of her older sister's issues.

 

[of2dbeach]

One thing that might help and I have suggested this before ear plugs!! Sensory over load for Autistic kids is terrible. My son is 19 Autistic/ Epileptic.. My daughter is 9 and they say she isnt on the spectrum but I know she is. She wears ear plugs in the parks and says it helps her out alot. When she freaks I grab her arm so she cant run take her to a quiet area and help her calm down so we can talk. After I find out whats bothering her we can usualy works around it or through it. My son cant do Disney anymore at all. We have been to other parks and he is fine. I think it is just too much with the sights, sounds, sensory etc. DD9 likes Epcot alot better she says its more "Open" .The stroller is a great idea. We had DD9 in one forever and she liked to put a light towel over the top of it to "hide" . I hope things settle and you can enjoy the rest of your trip!

 

[My2CrazyGirls]

I just wanted to say thank you so much for the responses, they have meant a lot to me The last 2 days have been much better than the first day. We have hit some bumps in the road but overall not as bad as day 1. We have started to rent a stroller for her and that has helped very much! I wish we had ear plugs for the girls though, they are both sensitive to sound. All of a sudden the 5 year old wont go near characters and she had no problem with them when she was 3.5! She has had lots of meltdowns which is sure throwing us off as she is not typically like that! Just when our 7 year old is behaving, the younger one is melting down! I will write more when i can and let you know how the rest of the days go. Oh, and since the girls like the pool so much i changed tomorrows plans and we will have a pool day and go to MK at night....maybe that will work out?

 

[AnnaNonamus]

It could very well be that she just needs some time to adjust to the schedule change. Everything is big, loud, and different from what your Aspie is used to.

Try to stick to as much of her normal schedule as you can- meal times, bed times, bath time, etc- any little things you can do to make it as normal as you can, do that. Those little things will help her adjust and acclimate to being in a new situation.

It might also help to have a schedule laid out for the day ahead of time. For instance, the night before sit with her and write out the things you plan to do the next day.

"At 8am, we are going to wake up, and get ready for breakfast. We will be eating at 8:30am, and by 9:30, we plan to be on a bus to XXX park. When we arrive, we would like to go to this section of the park, where each of you kids will get to pick something to do in that section. At 1pm, we will be eating at XXXX restaurant. By 2pm, we will be in this section of the park. We will have snack time at 4pm. DInner will be at 7pm at XXXX. We will be leaving the park at 9pm, and will be back to our room by 10pm"

Something along those lines. Give her some lee-way in deciding what she wants to do, but also some structure in how far you'll go. IE: if you're at the Tea Cups, and she wants to go on a ride, limit it to a choice in the same section of MK, as opposed to treking back and forth. This will limit the time she has to get freaked out, and will also limit the time you have to be frustrated when she changes her mind.

You could also give her a few "Opt Out" cards. Let her decide when she arrives at a ride, whether or not she wants to ride it. Allow her to decide on her own whether or not to use an Opt Out card, all the way up until it's time to get on the ride. Give her a set number each day, and make sure she understands that she may use them until they are gone.

Mostly, structure is going to help you the most over the next few days. Good luck!

 

[EvangelineG]

I just wanted to say thank you so much for the responses, they have meant a lot to me The last 2 days have been much better than the first day. We have hit some bumps in the road but overall not as bad as day 1. We have started to rent a stroller for her and that has helped very much! I wish we had ear plugs for the girls though, they are both sensitive to sound. All of a sudden the 5 year old wont go near characters and she had no problem with them when she was 3.5! She has had lots of meltdowns which is sure throwing us off as she is not typically like that! Just when our 7 year old is behaving, the younger one is melting down! I will write more when i can and let you know how the rest of the days go. Oh, and since the girls like the pool so much i changed tomorrows plans and we will have a pool day and go to MK at night....maybe that will work out?

So glad things are going better!

 

[dzorn]

Don't be afraid to split up. When DD was having an off day we would head back to the hotel and let out other DD say with Dad and enjoy themselves.

I remember the first time DD rode sorin. She was putting up such a fuss the CM said the could not start the ride with her like that. I asked for them to just give me a minute. We had a little conversation about I would never make her ride something unless I honestly believed she would enjoy it. Stuffed her Blues Clues dog inside her hoodie so he could see the ride also. (blue also has to see the screen if we go to a movie). She loved it. Each trip we try one new ride or show that's our goal.

Finally go her on a roller coaster (goofy's) she resisted for several years and I did not push it. It was a slow time of year. After riding 3 times by getting off and right back in line I told her I could not ride it again she went another 2 times before DH and her sister had had enough also.

I hope it gets better for you.

Denise in MI

 

[kirstenb1]

OP, glad things are going better!!! I think your pool day is an excellent, low key idea. Also, the resorts often have playgrounds, and neat little areas to explore, so keep that in mind too, when you're looking for things to do.

 

[Mom2six]

I'm glad to hear that you had a better couple of days.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I feel like I want to cry or scream. Our daughter won't walk, she won't go on rides even after we walk across the park because she says she wants to ride something. She stops walking and throws herself on the ground. She is rude to us, won't do what she is told or stop doing what she is told to stop doing. We only did a handful of things and we got to MK at Rope drop. And no we are not trying to do too much. We did not get a GAC and I don't think a GAC would have helped with any of our issues today. I hope the rest of the week gets better. I am extremely frustrated right now

Btw, she is 7 w Asperger's. We also have a 5 year old who has her own issues. And they are constantly fighting. We are the happiest place on earth and I just want to enjoy it!

I did not read any further than your post
My thoughts:

Try and remember that regardless of WHAT you actually get to do, you are with your FAMILY and you all need to stop and take a breather....
I can tell you we spent most of a disney vacation with a child that wanted to stay in the rooms bathtub and play rather than the parks, etc etc...
SO, we loaded up on Disney plastic bath toys at the shop and made the best of it....we did what we could and just let the rest slide by...
Oh and how about he time the arm flapping was so pronounced that walking was a hazard ....
goodness....this too shall pass..............
well, one breath at a time, one moment at a time...
STAY focused on the Positives, you are TOGETHER, you are HEALTHY right NOW and
try and enjoy even the slightest fun times you can. Again,

 

[My2CrazyGirls]

I just wanted to update. As the week went on things did get better. Renting her a stroller definitely was a HUGE help! She was much more cooperative when she had a stroller. She still had plenty of moments where I just did not know what to do! There were a few attractions that I knew she would love but she just refused. I did one with our other daughter and my husband sat with her. Then there were a couple (like "It's a Small World") that she did not want to do (we have done it before and it is one of my favorites) and since she didn't want to, my 5 year old didn't want to so that was frustrating for me. She was refusing to see Beauty and the Beast but we made her see it and she ended up liking it. We told her it would not be scary but she kept saying it would and did not want to enter the stadium. So when it was over I said "Are you OK, I know that was SOOOOOOOOO scary!" as to say I told you it was NOT going to be scary. And she laughed.

Then she surprised me because I said I wanted to do Haunted Mansion since there was no line and asked if anyone wanted to go with me (knew my 5 year old would not as she does not like the dark) and my 7 year old wanted to. I was nervous she would freak but we did it and she loved it and then my husband did it with her too! That was great!

We did not get a GAC and I do not see anywhere that it would have helped. The waits were not long and we used fastpasses. The worst was trying to get a table to eat at the taco place in MK, we walked around for 15 minutes trying to find a table. That was awful, she did not do well there. She also had a hard time in the room always fighting with her sister. Again, a GAC doesn't help with that.

She also started to be much better about taking pictures She all of a sudden wanted to meet lots of characters and princesses and I was thrilled! Thank you all for your advice, it was so helpful to read as I was so stressed. I am getting ear plugs next time for sure! And pool time was theraputic, we swam 5 out of the full 6 days we were there.

 

[bookwormde]

Glad you had a good time, WDW is a great place for our kids to grow and try new things.

 

[StrwLady]

My son was 2 1/2 for his first trip. We went on almost everything he could for his size. I remember when we came out of the Haunted Mansion we asked him if he liked it. He said yes. We asked if he wanted to go again, he shook his head with a serious look and said Nooooo

Subsequent trips he would not go on several rides/attractions. So at some point we came up with brave dollars. He earned brave dollars for something that he hadn't gone on since that first trip (or ever before). Depending on the attraction/ride depended on how many brave dollars he received. Most were $1 or $2 dollars. Sometimes he agreed to try an attraction/ride sometimes he didn't. He only received the brave dollars the first time he went on something. The biggest reward he received was for Space Mountain. This was the first roller coaster he went on. My hubby is a thrill ride type and wanted a partner so bad. Since my son had been asking every trip to get the kitchen sink from Beaches and Cream that was his reward. And the end of the brave dollars.

You could make it brave quarters or whatever you can afford or any type of treat/special thing.

As for noise, my son has ADHD and was sensitive to noises in the past. I always forgot the ear plugs so I would roll up a little tissue and put it in his ears. This muffled the sound just enough.

I am glad things got better and if you are still there, I hope they continue to go well.