Helping Pre-Teens Deal with Grief

[NYPDwife]

Ok, I teach Religious Education at the local Catholic church and our Priest died the week before Christmas. We all got the news the day after our last class. We've had two weeks off for the Christmas holidays and today will be my first day back.

I know the kids will want to talk about it. How do I get them to open up and share their feelings? Are there any activities that i can do with them (writing a letter to Heaven, etc.) that can help them deal with the loss?

Our Priest was a huge presence in our church and he was VERY loved. Plus, he was only 44, so it's been hard.

Any suggestions would be great.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

How about you approach it more positive like doing a remembrance of some type? A letter to heaven is a bit much, imo. Too heavy for this situation.

I would focus more on his life than death and open communication up that way. Keep it balanced with positives if that makes sense.

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

There are lots of guidelines online about how to talk about this.

I think it's great you're thinking about it. Why don't you use him as your guide - how do you think he'd handle it?

I would open it up by acknowledging his death and asking if the group would like to talk about it. You'll get varying reactions, probably (some will be shy, others will want to reminisce, some might cry, etc). For some of them, this may be the first time death has hit close to home. Others may have dealt with death already.

Since you're in a religious venue, I'd feel comfortable talking about the afterlife that he believed in and how peaceful he must be in the Kingdom of Heaven that he so often talked about, etc. You can also remind them that his spirit will live on in each of their hearts and that the greatest honor they could bestow upon him would be to remember what he taught them. (I assume he probably administed their sacraments and such, not to mention weekly masses and CCD activities. etc.)

BTW, I love the letter to Heaven idea and think it would be a great exercise to perhaps end the day with. Writing is known to be therapeutic.

I'd also try to balance the sadness of the day with maybe something fun if that's allowed, like hot chocolate and cookies or something like that.

Forty four is so young. My sympathies to all of you.

 

[NYPDwife]

How about you approach it more positive like doing a remembrance of some type? A letter to heaven is a bit much, imo. Too heavy for this situation.

I would focus more on his life than death and open communication up that way. Keep it balanced with positives if that makes sense.

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you. I thought of the letter, because that's what I did when my Dad died. I wrote a letter expressing my feelings and I'm pretty sure that some idiot mail carrier read it, but it helped me to get some stuff out and say goodbye.

There are lots of guidelines online about how to talk about this.

I think it's great you're thinking about it. Why don't you use him as your guide - how do you think he'd handle it?

I would open it up by acknowledging his death and asking if the group would like to talk about it. You'll get varying reactions, probably (some will be shy, others will want to reminisce, some might cry, etc). For some of them, this may be the first time death has hit close to home. Others may have dealt with death already.

Since you're in a religious venue, I'd feel comfortable talking about the afterlife that he believed in and how peaceful he must be in the Kingdom of Heaven that he so often talked about, etc. You can also remind them that his spirit will live on in each of their hearts and that the greatest honor they could bestow upon him would be to remember what he taught them. Great idea!! (I assume he probably administed their sacraments and such, not to mention weekly masses and CCD activities. etc.)

BTW, I love the letter to Heaven idea and think it would be a great exercise to perhaps end the day with. Writing is known to be therapeutic.

I'd also try to balance the sadness of the day with maybe something fun if that's allowed, like hot chocolate and cookies or something like that. Another good one. I'll have to put some stuff in a thermos when I get home.

Forty four is so young. My sympathies to all of you.

Thank you!