HelpDealing with Schizophrenic

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

No comparison to someone harassing you, putting signs in their window with accusing messages towards you, or (in my case) having a bowel movement on your front porch. No comparison whatsoever. I am sure you know that and are just being contrary.

No, actually I know a person can be med compliant, treatment compliant, and their illness can still wreak havoc on their lives and the lives of others around them. It's simply the nature of mental illness in some cases. I most certainly see them and their illness much, much differently than you do for many reasons. I don't choose to have compassion for only certain members of the disabled population, but I'm sure you know that.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Schizophrenia is, indeed, a chronic illness just like diabetes and high blood pressure. It follows the same pattern in that left untreated it has physical and psychological consequences. You cannot lock someone up for opting to forego treatment, you cannot force treatment upon someone if they don't want it, regardless of their diagnosis.

So, a person with schizophrenia can choose not to treat it because they don't like the side effects of the medicine. Yet, they can give their neighbors the side effects of their mental illness?

I sure do have that "not in my neighborhood" mentality. I don't want to be harassed in my neighborhood.

Same thing in schools. We now integrate to the point where children are expected to learn in environments where mentally ill children throw things, scream non-stop, curse, spit, etc. If you complain that you want your child to be in a more productive environment, you are shamed because you just don't have compassion for the mentally ill.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

No, actually I know a person can be med compliant, treatment compliant, and their illness can still wreak havoc on their lives and the lives of others around them. It's simply the nature of mental illness in some cases. I most certainly see them and their illness much, much differently than you do for many reasons. I don't choose to have compassion for only certain members of the disabled population, but I'm sure you know that.

Do you have compassion for child molesters?

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Do you have compassion for child molesters?

Do you spin freely in a no spin zone?

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Do you spin freely in a no spin zone?

That made me laugh.

But, you did say I don't choose to have compassion for only certain members of the disabled population. Child molesters are disabled. They are mentally ill.

Some of us have different thresholds of mental illnesses and the behaviors that come along with those disabilities.

I draw the line at someone squatting on my porch, waving to my camera, and having a bowel movement. Others may draw the line at daily harassment.

You apparently have more compassion than most. Good for you! And I honestly mean that. Good for you.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

That made me laugh.

But, you did say I don't choose to have compassion for only certain members of the disabled population. Child molesters are disabled. They are mentally ill.

Some of us have different thresholds of mental illnesses and the behaviors that come along with those disabilities.

I draw the line at someone squatting on my porch, waving to my camera, and having a bowel movement. Others may draw the line at daily harassment.

You apparently have more compassion than most. Good for you! And I honestly mean that. Good for you.

I'm not sure I'd agree that a child molester is considered disabled due to their sexual deviance alone, but there we go.

 

[mamacatnv]

So, a person with schizophrenia can choose not to treat it because they don't like the side effects of the medicine. Yet, they can give their neighbors the side effects of their mental illness?

I sure do have that "not in my neighborhood" mentality. I don't want to be harassed in my neighborhood.

Same thing in schools. We now integrate to the point where children are expected to learn in environments where mentally ill children throw things, scream non-stop, curse, spit, etc. If you complain that you want your child to be in a more productive environment, you are shamed because you just don't have compassion for the mentally ill.

It's quite the societal conundrum. I won't even get involved in inclusion conversations anymore, its not worth the argument - I am with you, we have gone too far and many kids suffer at the hands of a few. Same can be said for the un-medicated neighbor, they can choose to remain un-medicated, there is no forcing the issue and the other neighbors only recourse is to make continual complaints to law enforcement who often don't want to get involved.

I have no idea what the answer is, its not so easy to say force med's or segregate a portion of the population, its just not that easy. I do know, after spending many many years battling the system on behalf of my Mother, that the system is broken and does not serve the best interest of the mentally ill either. There needs to be a balance someone but with mentally ill that balance would mean someone losing some of their rights and that does not tend to go over well in our liberally minded society.

 

[roseaster]

The problem is, nobody is "engaging" her. Nobody responds to her at all, even when she is speaking directly to them. Nobody emails or texts her back, but she keeps doing it. So your theory of stop engaging her and she will retreat into herself is not the case here. NOBODY responds! Nobody but her is actually doing anything in this situation. So how are we engaging her? Her neighbors across the street can simply be playing in their front yard with their little boy and she will come out and start screaming at them to stop looking in her windows. Again those neighbors do not respond to her, or even look at her. But she keeps doing it. At what point is it harassment by her? Getting emails about "you will all be responsible if something happens to me" and "all of you who are in on this are going to be exposed" - that is not ok with me. Accusing me of putting pig and dog lights on my car and house to torment her are one thing. Emails with threatening tones are completely another. The last one said my son is going to figure out one day what I have done and he is never going to forgive me. Leave my kids out if it.

Again, I do not block her because I prefer to know when she is having her delusions. Things lately have gotten much worse, and I prefer to know that. I makes me feel safer knowing, rather than wondering what is going through her mind. I do not respond to her, ever. We did end up emailing her husband and letting him know about the texts and emails we have been getting and that we want them to stop.

Her son and my son play together and he is always welcome at my house and is over several times a week playing basketball with the neighborhood kids. So I hope that he feels we are a safe place.

I'm not sure what you want then. You want to be involved in her illness, so you know what is going on. Unfortunately, you can't have it both ways. You can't say you want to know about her psychosis and then be bothered by it.

So far, to you, she hasn't been anything other than a nuisance. She hasn't made any threats towards you or your family. She has woven you into her psychosis, but she has not actually made threats to harm you or your family. You probably can't even consider the messages harassment because you willingly accept them.

There is probably nothing you can do in this case other than accept that she is who she is, and probably always will be. You aren't in a position to force her into treatment, and the police cannot force her to be evaluated until she becomes an actual danger and not just a nuisance.

Again, if she does actually commit a crime or threaten to harm herself then call 911, but at this point you have painted yourself into a corner.

 

[roseaster]

No comparison to someone harassing you, putting signs in their window with accusing messages towards you, or (in my case) having a bowel movement on your front porch. No comparison whatsoever. I am sure you know that and are just being contrary.

...and you are confusing your situation with the OP's. You have had a crime committed against you. Your home has been vandalized. Call the police, make out a report, press charges. That is your right. Someone has trespassed on your property and committed at least vandalism.

Signs in the window you can't do anything about. As far as I know there are no laws against that. Tacky, maybe. Annoying, maybe. Illegal, no.

 

[ols386]

Op, I don't blame you one bit. I would not like having a neighbor like you describe. I understand why you would want to read her emails. At least you can be aware of when she is having delusional thoughts.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

...and you are confusing your situation with the OP's.

No. I am not confused at all. Nobody deserves to live in a neighborhood where they are harassed or have signs hanging that say false things about them. While I know the new trend is to accept everyone with a smile because of their diagnosis, I don't want to be harassed frequently in my own home...crime or not. I don't care what your dx is, stop involving me in your unstable life. Take your meds, get help, move, whatever. But this woman needs to stop contacting her neighbors.

 

[bethy]

No. I am not confused at all. Nobody deserves to live in a neighborhood where they are harassed or have signs hanging that say false things about them. While I know the new trend is to accept everyone with a smile because of their diagnosis, I don't want to be harassed frequently in my own home...crime or not. I don't care what your dx is, stop involving me in your unstable life. Take your meds, get help, move, whatever. But this woman needs to stop contacting her neighbors.

I don't blame you for feeling that way. There probably isn't much you can do to change the situation but I can see why it is frustrating.