Help!!

[yayashelly26]

Ok, so my dbf has no interest in Disney at all so I usually go with girl friends. Well I was planning to go by myself next year and my friend has decided to come with me. Here is the issue: He is a guy, however he is gay. He is a very good friend. My dbf is kind of having a freak out over it. I told him to chill out and that he was being silly, but I would love some feedback from you guys. Is he being unresaonable, or am I?

Thanks!

~Shelly

 

[LaurenT]

If he knows your friend is gay he's being unreasonable. Ask him how he would feel if he found out the girls you usually go with are gay....

 

[thelittlemermaid2]

In my opinion it is good to have guy friends outside of your boyfriend, and he should trust you enough to let you go. However, I know the dynamic is different in every relationship, and I can't gauge what "freaking out" means to you. If this issue is causing major waves in your relationship ask yourself: is one trip worth the tension it is causing? If it is then I suggest having a serious chat with him about how you feel.

 

[parkluvr]

I agree with pp that if your relationship is serious, it is probably not worth jeopardizing it for one trip. This is not meant to be an attack or anything, just curious, but how would you feel if he had a fairly attractive female friend who claimed to be gay who wanted to accompany him on an out of town trip?

 

[jagfanjosh3252]

I am pretty sure her friend is not claiming to be gay. If your BF know your friend and knows he is gay. I don't see a problem at all.

 

[LaurenT]

I'm going to disagree with pp's who said don't jeopardize your relationship.
What kind of relationship is it and what future does it have if his insecurities over a threat that doesn't exist is going to control your decisions?

 

[bryanb]

There is some truth to both of your points-of-view. In a perfect world, your bf would not be threatened by your gay friend. But it's important not to just dismiss him.

Of course, you know your relationship best. If your relationship is worth keeping, both of you should work to understand each other's point of view.

Your BF should try to understand what this Disney trip means to you, and what your very good friend means to you... and why it is important to you to go on this trip with your friend. If he has concerns, you might take this opportunity to understand why he is concerned (being careful not to just dismiss his feelings but genuinely learning about what causes them). At the very least, it will help you both know each other better -- for better or worse.

I agree with other posters that one trip is not worth ruining a good relationship, but talking it through might help you both feel better about the decision to go or not to go.

 

[yayashelly26]

Thanks guys! It is not a relationship ender or anything, it just kind of annoyed me a bit that he would first say no (we don't have the type of relationship where either one of us tells the other what they can or cannot do), and that he would not trust me. We are over it, I pretty much just told him to get over it, it's happening lol

On to more Disney planning!!!!

Thanks ladies!!

~Shelly