Help!

[kdm31091]

Okay, fine. I give up. However, I do want to defend that the cheating was NOT obvious, not to anyone BUT the teacher. Everyone else didn't notice a pattern between my notes and the Sparknotes - just saying.

My mom won't budge on the meeting, so I might as well at least TRY to defend myself, no? I'm not gonna go in there and make my mom look stupid and act like she made all this argument/defense up. I have to go in there and pretend I can defend my point, and when it fails, I'll just look stupid, but at least my mom won't -- I'm the one who deserves it, I know.

At the very least, at least after the meeting, it will be SETTLED and done. I know I made a mistake, and really, in context, this really wasn't fair, but life isn't fair.

I'll just dream of summer - my significant other moving in town and no more Mr. English-Teacher-Whom-I-Am-Not-Doing-Well-With!

 

[kdm31091]

But since I'm going to have to suffer through the meeting, how do I make things go as smoothly as possible WITHOUT embarassing my mom?

 

[taximomfor4]

Like I said, several family members read over my paper and the Sparknotes. No one noticed a correlation.

This is not what you said in a pp. YOu said that they only noticed a few things. You also said that your summary was the only part of the paper where more was "lifted."

Take a break, think about the situation again...you did certainly realize you were wrong, and even just one phrase of plagiarism is serious. Trust me, many of us plagiarised in school. I did, in 9th grade. The first time, it worked great and I got a wonderful grade. The second paper, I got caught and got a zero. On my entire research paper, where only part of the intro was "lifted." I cried. I had always been a principals list student, and was absolutely mortified and ashamed. Tell you what, though. My mom was NOT sympathetic toward me at all. Oh, and I never, ever, ever was tempted to plagiarize again. Not a phrase. It's one of those lessons of youth.

YOu seem like a quite level-headed, reasonable kid. I really think if you take a step back, and think about the whole thing, you'll see this for what it is. Maybe you learned more from this zero than you would have with a 40.

Take care, and I wish you the best of luck talking with your teacher. Don't go in wanting credit for your paper, since a zero is fair. Just go in wanting to 'fess up, clear the air, and thank your teacher for the hard lesson. Sometimes the toughest teachers teach us the most. If nothing else, we learn how to carry ourselves around the tough teachers!

Beth

 

[Cool-Beans]

Tell your mom you want to be a man and own up to it. If she isn't proud of you, she should be. And if she wants you to fight like a ninny, BE a man and don't do it.

Go to the meeting and tell the truth. Beg for forgiveness and a chance to re-write the paper. You might get lucky.

If you walk in there and say, "I used the Sparks notes. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it was a dumb thing to do. I'm sorry and wish I could un-do it, but I can't. Is there any chance I could re-write the paper?" you'll have a hell of lot better shot at some credit than if you go in and lie, fight, whine or cry.

 

[kdm31091]

I'll talk to my mom. Maybe I can talk her out of the meeting.

*cross fingers*

 

[Cool-Beans]

I'll talk to my mom. Maybe I can talk her out of the meeting.

*cross fingers*

Atta boy.

 

[taximomfor4]

But since I'm going to have to suffer through the meeting, how do I make things go as smoothly as possible WITHOUT embarassing my mom?

That's a tough one. If you came clean with her, and she knows that some of your paper was, in fact, "lifted," then she should be going into this with her eyes open. I have no idea what her expectations are...I know that often, moms have that instinct to protect their kids from the world. I can't read her mind, but as a mom, I know how hard it is to watch your kids take their knocks, deserved or not. Don't power struggle with your teacher over this just because your mom wants to fight for points. Just go in, apologize to the teacher, leave the arguing at the door, and have a respectful clear-the-air talk. Perhaps it won't yield the results your mom wants, but maybe she will feel better in the future, knowing that you CAN take your knocks and are beginning to handle your own tough situations. That's a huge step in growing up, and lots of adults have trouble in that area.

It is very sweet of you, wanting her not to be embarassed though!

 

[kdm31091]

That's a tough one. If you came clean with her, and she knows that some of your paper was, in fact, "lifted," then she should be going into this with her eyes open. I have no idea what her expectations are...I know that often, moms have that instinct to protect their kids from the world. I can't read her mind, but as a mom, I know how hard it is to watch your kids take their knocks, deserved or not. Don't power struggle with your teacher over this just because your mom wants to fight for points. Just go in, apologize to the teacher, leave the arguing at the door, and have a respectful clear-the-air talk. Perhaps it won't yield the results your mom wants, but maybe she will feel better in the future, knowing that you CAN take your knocks and are beginning to handle your own tough situations. That's a huge step in growing up, and lots of adults have trouble in that area.

It is very sweet of you, wanting her not to be embarassed though!

I told her the exact story/timeline:
1) I read the book
2) Did the report using the book and Sparknotes

The knowledge I gained from reading the book the 1st time really didn't provide ANY of the info for the report. It came from the Sparknotes and book itself when writing the report.

 

[MushyMushy]

You never did say what book it was.

 

[kdm31091]

The Bell Jar, by Slyvia Plath.

 

[Serena]

I asked my daughter about this tonight. She was wondering since you did all the work already, why did you use the sparknotes at all? You already knew the work?
I think you need to trust yourself more, and I suggest expanding your vocabulary. Maybe a new word a week, or even day. LOL, just to surprise a few teachers if nothing else.

 

[kdm31091]

I asked my daughter about this tonight. She was wondering since you did all the work already, why did you use the sparknotes at all? You already knew the work?
I think you need to trust yourself more, and I suggest expanding your vocabulary. Maybe a new word a week, or even day. LOL, just to surprise a few teachers if nothing else.

Because the night I was working on the report, the book kind of escaped me. My reading comprehension is VERY good in testing but when I actually have to do it in life, I'm bad with details unless I really focus.

Actually, in testing my vocab is that of a 19 year old - so no issues there! But I like learning new, oddball words!

 

[grlpwrd]

Tell your mom you want to be a man and own up to it. If she isn't proud of you, she should be. And if she wants you to fight like a ninny, BE a man and don't do it.

Go to the meeting and tell the truth. Beg for forgiveness and a chance to re-write the paper. You might get lucky.

If you walk in there and say, "I used the Sparks notes. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but it was a dumb thing to do. I'm sorry and wish I could un-do it, but I can't. Is there any chance I could re-write the paper?" you'll have a hell of lot better shot at some credit than if you go in and lie, fight, whine or cry.

I agree. I think I remember you mentioning how it is for you - that your mom is not supportive of you. That must be difficult.

As for studying instead of being online, well, there is more to it that that, I think. You can't even have your mom listen to you about this situation and that you turn to the DIS for advice. I am not sure how accurate my observation is because she could be supportive in her own way - as I don't know her and we are hearing only your side, but from what you have shared with us so far it indicates (gives me an idea) what your life must be like without support you should be getting at home.

Do your parents listen to you? Are they really unsupportive as you said?

A lot of folks who posted already gave such good advice - be a man and be accountable for your actions and learn from it. Good luck!

PS No, I am not Dr Phil nor do I play one on the DISboards, but his situation tells me how important it is for kids to have communication and support from parents.

 

[kdm31091]

I agree. I think I remember you mentioning how it is for you - that your mom is not supportive of you. That must be difficult.

As for studying instead of being online, well, there is more to it that that, I think. You can't even have your mom listen to you about this situation that you turn to the DIS for advice. I am not sure how accurate my observation is because she could be supportive in her own way - as I don't know her, but from what you have shared with us so far it indicates what your life must be like without support you should be getting at home. Do your parents listen to you? Are they really unsupportive as you said?

A lot of folks who posted already gave such good advice - be a man and be accountable for your actions and learn from it. Good luck!

She supports me; it's just that I turned to the DIS because you guys are warm (mostly), easy to talk to, etc. She doesn't get home until 6:30pm most nights, then she's exhausted and doesn't wanna talk about most things. Our major talking is on Friday evenings, then she leaves for her girlfriend's house for the weekend, every weekend.

It's not a sob story - my mom-mom is still here for some of the weekend but she works too. I like being home alone. My mom-mom commented to my mom one time, "Kevin is raising himself, blah blah". I guess I can agree. That's why I'm so anxious to plan and whatnot, it's because I pretty much act 17 now, not 15. I do my own laundry, I vaccum my own room, make my own bed, do my own this, etc. My mom is WONDERFUL mom and I love her to pieces. She just doesn't have time.

However, just because I put it on the DIS, doesn't mean I haven't talked to her about it. We've been over the situation 5+ times and we are reviewing it Thurs. night before the conference.

Anyways, I'm just gonna go to the confrence, apologize, and ride it out. The apology alone should get me somewhere!

I'm nervous about the conference mostly because I feel like I'm wasting everybody's time, but I'm going to do my best to be mature and polite. I think just admitting the problem and saying sorry will do wonders even when this is high school not preschool.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Tracy, please calm down. I wasn't defending my cheating. It was not right. I still think this sucks and is unfair, but I'll just try to let it go.

Number one: So you are admitting you cheated?

Number two: Consequences for cheating are usually fair. Sucky for sure, but still fair.

I spent 4 hours on the darned thing, from 2:30-6:30 pm approximately.

I really wasn't going to fight it, and I floundered over it, but honestly, I really don't like the fact that I can spend a total of 14+ hours in something only to fail.

So how much time did you truly spend working on it?

 

[kdm31091]

Number one: So you are admitting you cheated?

Number two: Consequences for cheating are usually fair. Sucky for sure, but still fair.




So how much time did you truly spend working on it?

4 hours on the report.

14 hours total because I spent about 10 hours total reading the book in the first place. Roughly, anyway.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

4 hours on the report.

14 hours total because I spent about 10 hours total reading the book in the first place. Roughly, anyway.

Gotcha.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm sorry...but I don't know how you can defend yourself. You were told not to use a particular resource--and you did. Teachers often keep copies of those off limits resources and thus can figure out if you used them or not. So even if you didn't directly copy from it, some of your ideas were inspired by a banned resource.

My teachers would have done the same thing in high school. I was banned in ALL of my English/Lit classes from using Cliff's notes. Considering often some of the Cliff's notes were incorrect in some of their interpretations, it often made it much easier for the teacher to determine if you utilized them.

The problem with things like Cliff's or sparknotes or any other banned resource...is these are not your ideas. YOu are not analyzing the book yourself--you are utilizing someone else's thoughts to get you your grade. That is why you have been accused of plagiarizing.

Plagiarizing is actually very easy to do even if you do not copy something word for word, verbatim. I got busted for it in 3rd grade (my mom checked my paper and said it was okay even though I told her what I did) and my teacher had a good talking to with me about it. I didn't copy the whole thing--but wasn't really sure on how to quote or paraphrase properly. It was no big deal but a GOOD lesson to learn. (And MY mother didn't make the correlation either and i didn't have her fight my battles with my 3rd grade teacher.)

I suggest you take this as a life lesson learned and perhaps even offer to rewrite your paper.

It is getting silly that teachers have to be point blank word for word clear when they tell you to not use a particular resource for work. You can't have mom fight all your battles. You may not think it is fair--but you are in high school. IF you should get into any college--the professors won't care if they can prove what you did when you cheated.

Learn your lesson and move on.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm sure there are other things we could ALL be doing instead of hanging around here. I could be cleaning the house, or going over my lesson plans for tomorrow again. But I worked hard all day, and I choose to spend some of my free time here, doing what I enjoy. School is hard work, too, and I hardly think posting here is going to made this kid flunk out of school. Besides, there are MUCH worse things he could be doing during his free time...

Sure--but some of us are grownups and don't expect to have the DIS solve all our problems over and over again.

Flame suit on but this kid has been on a lot recently and I am done defending this kid. He's looking for colleges that he can get into with his 2.0 GPA (or something like that--his grades are seriously lacking and yes DISSING for eternity can cause grades to suffer).

I've been nice in the past--and I am NOT trying to be mean now--but it is the perfect time for him to get serious about his studies. This DIS cannot help improve his grades by telling him that he is right all the time (when he isn't).

 

[LindsayDunn228]

LLP, great post!!!!

I know I will get flamed for this, but IMO, The Bell Jar was not a difficult read. Don't see why you would need Spark Notes at all.

OP, you said yourself you cheated. I think you need to say these exact words to your mother and the teacher. Be real about it.