Help, work and dating

[GailT]

OK, I will not ramble but this guy that comes into my place of work to use the service we prvide (tanning) I get along with great. He graduated with my brother so he is from my town too.he is 41 I am almost 47 I always would say every time I saw him " figures all the good guys are married" WOW, yesterday he was talking about him living back in town, said it was along story so I said what happened. he is going through a divorce, has be seperated for a long time. The question is does it look like I am a hussey if I ask him out for a drink. he sez some things that make me believe that it might be ok, I am torn, I know this guy thinks I am a nice person, I just don't like rejection and am afraid to ask? I'm at a point in my life now I have been dating, feel good about myself ( as you all know I am in remission with my MS) so I think I should go for it, does that seem resonable in this day and age? Thanks for helping me out, I feel like a teenager again.

 

[WDWFOREVER]

Life is to short to waste on "if only". Good luck!

 

[legs22]

You say he is going through a divorce right now? Then I would not start a relationship with this man. Anyone in the middle of a divorce is not ready to jump into another relationship.

 

[Hillbeans]

Well, according to your note, he's been separated for a long time. I don't see any problem with asking him out for lunch, or a drink, and just see if you have any chemistry and go from there.

If there isn't chemistry, you've not invested anything into it and kept your dignity in-tact. I've never thought that men had to ask women out all the time...i've asked out a few men myself, including my Husband.

 

[Pop Daddy]

he is gay

 

[bubie2.5]

Go for it!!!

 

[browneyes]

You only live once, Gail. Ask him out.

 

[TigerBear]

I too wonder how close the divorce is to being finalized. When I was going through mine, at one point my ex and I agreed it was OK for each of us to date. It wasn't until the paperwork was actually submitted to the court - and we were in the waiting period - that I felt comfortable doing so. I got into my first relationship two months after it was finalized -looking back I realize that was too early. I still had so many issues to resolve - even though I had went through therapy. Thankfully, my db is a loving man and he went through them with me.

What about asking him for coffee - something that may just be a friendly gesture? You should come join us on Pin Wizard's single's thread - we have a lot of fun there and frequently talk about the crazy dating world!

 

[bjgrazi]

Pop Daddy - Behave


Ask him out for a drink. I've been there done that. It's a drink not a marriage proposal. Just don't expect too much and all should be fine.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[ScarlettO]

Is there some upcoming event-it's spring so maybe a garden show,an outdoor living, boat or car show or a festival of some sort? You could start discussing it and saying you wanted to go . Then ask if that's the type of thing he'd likes to go to. Maybe it will give him a "hint".

 

[Mishetta]

I like TigerBear's suggestion. Just going out for coffee is an innocent, friendly gesture. A "drink" sounds like a date, but "coffee" just sounds like 2 friends getting together with no commitment. (I know, I'm crazy! )

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't see the harm in asking out someone you think might be fun out for coffee or lunch or something. If he was a girl, you wouldn't think twice about it.

Don't start acting like it's a dating thing right off the bat, and don't read a lot into it...keep it a fun friends thing and see what develops. You may find after you get to know him better that he is not "mate" material, but great "friend" material.

If you feel better, arrange a mixed group of people and do a group outing, to a play or soemthing. Or throw a small get-together at your house and invite him under the guise of "figured you might like something to do".

I agree that you should go slowly and carefully. No matter how long someone has been separated, the finality opf divorce brings up a set of issues, feelings etc. that will need to be dealt with.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Ask him! All he can do is say no. If he does say no then it is no big deal.

Lori

 

[Micca]

You might feel like a teenager, but I think you'd find that acting on the impulses will go much better than it did when you were 16.
If a 47 year old guy couldn't say "no" & make it polite, I would be pretty disappointed in him. And if he says "yes"...

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Go for it and ask him out. What have you got to lose?

 

[Serena]

Let it come natural Gail. But look for opportunities to find out what he likes.
If he mentions a movie, ask him if he's seen it. Tell him you hate seeing movies alone and ask if he would keep you company.
Ok, my mind went blank on any other suggestions. lol Coffee sounds good.