Help with FIL

[ntburns22]

My DH's parents are divorced and they do not get along. But they will be civil when they are both together. I am hosting Christmas for the first time. MIL and I get along really well. I love her to death. My FIL is coming over too. I really don't want him here but its Christmas. He really doesn't like me. He has never told my DH why. Last year for Christmas all the other DIL's got something really nice from him for Christmas ie: wine glasses & cd boxsets. I recieved a coupon $5 off if you spend $25 or more for Applebees. Does anyone have anytips to help me get through this? I really want to be able to enjoy Christmas but just the thought of him being here gives me the shakes already.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I don't know, but I'd probably regift that coupon right back to him.

I guess the best thing I can think of it just to try not to let him get to you. Avoid him as much as you can?

Good luck.

 

[ntburns22]

I was thinking the same thing. DH said let it go. THe funny thing is it came with a gift card and BIL got the gift card. It has become a family joke. My SIL gave me a shirt box filled with coupons for my birthday.

 

[Disneyrsh]

Start drinking now.

Seriously, I've got an MIL that gets me ridiculous looking ankle socks and old soaps every year for christmas.

I wouldn't re-gift the coupon, though, it might make him be even meaner to you.

Can your husband run interference for you that evening, could you ask him to keep the FIL away from you and do the dealing with him? It might make it mentally easier on you if you knew your husband was running defence for you

Hang in there...

 

[tmt martins]

He might not have understood what it was he was giving.

Remember this is your hosting and you will have plenty to keep you busy .

Let those enjoy enjoy and those that don't get left alone.

 

[ntburns22]

I honestly could never regift the coupon. I don't have the guts to do it. But deep down I would love too. I was too embarrassed to show anyone what I got from him until my BIL came over for New Years. He later asked FIL (his dad) what he did. He repsponded something like it was for $5 off, it was a good deal.

 

[micknpluto]

I cant believe he gave you a COUPON? What's that all about, he has a lot of nerve! You will be so busy that day and you will have plenty of support around. You are the bigger person inviting him to your home. If I were him I would be embarrassed to look you in the eye. He should be embarrassed!~

Good luck..I know the feeling, trust me... Just today I had a huge argument with my BIL, and they are the ones hosting X-mas dinner this year.

 

[KathyTX]

The $5 off coupon is priceless!

Honestly, I think I'd find a way to get a lot more than $5 worth of laughs from it. If everyone opens their gifts and "oohs" and "aahs" over them, I'd be sure to be right there in the middle of it. Maybe you could get everyone to make a game of helping decide what you could order with that $5. (It's a new year, but you should be able to find a way to work other ridiculous and cheap gifts into the fun.)

Truly, I think making a family joke of it is the best way to handle it. He'll look like a cheap meanie, and the rest of the family will laugh along with you.

Best of luck. I think every family has one or two of these really challenging people thrown in...

 

[ntburns22]

I keep telling myself that but it still gives me the shakes.

 

[crazyme5kids]

Has he actually said to your husband he doesn't like you? Maybe he just doesn't know you the way he knows the others? Does he live closer to them or does he see them more? Why not just talk to him? At least if nothing else you could clear the air, it might even be that he doesn't realize how he is treating you. Maybe he heard you or your husband talking about how you like a great deal or coupons and that stuck in his mind. Yeah, you can see I'm a give the person the benefit of the doubt kind of gal LOL! Really though, I think you should talk to him before Christmas.

 

[ntburns22]

I have tried talking to him before regarding my DD's baptism. He had 2 months notice and still didn't come. I told him how disappointed we both were he didn't come. Then came the baptism for DS again atleast a months notice and him telling us he will be there. He was a no show. But he made it to the other grandchildren's baptisms. This is from the man that said to me on my wedding day to always walk 2 steps behind my son not infront of. Still to this day I am thinking he forgot the walk side by side part.

 

[AMcaptured]

Xanax!!

Honestly, IMO, its hard to get through holidays without it.