Help with Family wanting to pay

[brandip22]

I know this has been discussed, but I can't seem to find it at the moment. OK, so we are the DVC members and go all the time. I always ask family to come and they never do. Well, this year, it looks like several of them are deciding to come all at the same time- lol. Well, just possible 4 of them. If they all actually do come, it will be:

My family: DH, me, DS(8) and DS(2)
My Mom
My Cousin and her son (7)
My SIL(45)

My Mom has some health issues and we have always invited her, but she's never been able to come- mainly due to money issues, too. This time, we told her that we'd pay for ticket to get in and meals if she'd watch the boys at night if we wanted to go back to the parks and/or for naps. She will need all the rest!

My SIL- we invited with the understanding that in lieu of payment for the room, she could just babysit one night or two for us. Of course, this was before we thought my Mom would actually come, but it's still cool.

My Cousin- We just told her we were going and she was planning on coming at the same time in a different room. Since it's now just going to be her and her son, she asked if there was a place we could all stay together and she'd of course split the cost. Well, since we are DVC, we of course won't have costs. I explained to her the whole DVC thing and that we don't really pay for the room. I also explained our deals with Mom and SIL. She still wants to pay us her "share" of the cost. I don't know what to do or how to even come up with a cost. I was thinking of re-explaining the whole cost deal and then letting her know how much it would be to rent points and then divide it by the # of people and all. But, still give her the option of nothing or a dinner (which I already did but she refused). Any other ideas how to approach this?

Thanks!

 

[Chuck S]

Since you are basically doing a "barter" with your Mom & SIL for babysitting, I think your cousin buying your family a nice meal out is comparable. We never "charge" people, but they do usually buy us a meal.

If your cousin really insists, I think your idea of dividing the points by the number of people in the room and charging $7 to $10 per point is also a pretty fair way to ask for payment.

 

[disneynutz]

As a member you will be at WDW every year for the next several years. Wouldn't it be better for all if you didn't take everyone at once?

In our family, the bigger the group, the harder it is to give everyone the attention that they need. A few have a good time but the others are miserable. We call it mob mentality.

Good luck,

Bill

 

[LuckyMamaInDE]

When we shared a 2br AKV with my sister's family in 2008, she insisted on paying us something. Really insisted. Repeatedly. To keep peace, I suggested they pay us the maintenance fees for the point difference between the 1br we would have used with just us and the 2br we shared.

We were all using the DDP that trip so buying a meal wasn't an option.

 

[hematite153]

I don't really understand people's math when they say that they don't really pay for a room that they have booked on points. Of course you have paid for it. You purchased the points and you are paying annual maintenance fees.

That said, because you are paying for it, you have the right to use it to treat someone. Let your cousin know that it is a genuine offer.

What sort of room are you thinking of booking? (And/or what room would you book with which sets of people?) Are you confident that all will come? What's your home resort?

My instincts looking at your group are that a grand villa would be terrific, but, an SSR Treehouse would also work quite well. The treehouse is many fewer points and therefore a better choice if you think some of them might back out.

Your cousin and her son would use a studio if traveling alone. You could consider suggesting that she pay the actual cost of your points (i.e. purchase + maintenance) for a studio's amount of points.

I also agree with the advice that it might be better to spread out the visitors.

 

[PHILCT]

I think it is great that you want to get your family together.

I also never charge for a Disney Vacation when I offer family or friends to join me.

The interesting thing is that when my guests were invited in the past it was difficult to get them to either sleep 2 to a queen bed or on the pull out couches. If there was a snorer, then you couldn't even get more than 1 person to a room where the snorer was located.

The more that were invited in a large group vacation, the worse some unexpected bickering would occur within the invited people and not from me. And the more that were invited, the more concern became for who was sleeping where and with whom, and they could get mad at you for adding on more guests to the trip, because you kind of ruined where they were going to sleep.

I have never had 8 people in a DVC dedicated 2 bedroom, it never works out with the sleeping arrangements. The most I ever got into this arrangement was 6, and more often 5.

Even in a Grand Villa with 5 people it was difficult to setup the sleeping arrangements, when there were two snorers involved and everyone was single adults. I always think the owners of the DVC should get the master suite, but oddly not all invited guests automatically expect that in a few rare cases. So now I am really afraid to invite family anymore. Friends for me are way easier.

I expect them to agree to a defined sleeping arrangement before the trip is even booked now. Even after all that agreeing, I have had people begging after the first night if they could escape sleeping in the same room with the snorer that they thought they could tolerate, and thought they really didn't need to buy sleeping earplugs.

I have had invited people back out, and end up with empty beds in a 2 bedroom unit, and the ability to change to a smaller unit or multiple studios was no longer available.

In the past I have gotten treated for one very nice table service from each invited guest, and a counter service. It was always there idea. If I reached for the check, they would slap my hand. That usually happened more from friends than family however.

Hopefully your family is way easier to get along with than mine.
I am also guessing it is easier to deal with sleeping arrangements when there are a lot of children involved. I guess you can let the kids do the pull out couch, and the adults get the beds?

But I am curious, are you planning on multiple studios, 2 bedroom, Grand Villa?
Who will sleep where, and with whom or no one else, or is willing to use that living room couch if needed.
I recommend getting a separate studio in case someone backs out, you can cancel the extra reservation.

----

Sorry, you asked what should you allow the extra new guests to chip in.

I think if they are staying for a week, allow them to pick up a table service or two for your family. It will let them feel like they contributed to the vacation.

Phil

 

[brandip22]

Well, even in these few minutes, we have worked a lot out over email. Here's the breakdown for now:

My family: me, DH, DS(8) & Ds(2)
My Mom
My Cousin and part of her family: DC(cuz), her DS(6), her Mom, my Aunt

So, 8 in all. There is a potential that my SIL will want to come, but I think possibly not now with all of them coming. I will offer that she comes on the next trip. We are already booked at a THV for the week. I told DC that I didn't want her to pay bc we were already going anyway in the same room. I've decided we will stay in the THV. It will be cool for the kids and great with that extra room. Here's how we will sleep:

Master: DH and me
Queen Room: DC and DA(Aunt)
Kids bunk: Kids
Sofa Bed: DM
On the very Off chance that my DC's son wants to sleep with her and her Mom, then I can put my Mom in the other bunk if she wants. My boys will likely sleep together. My 2 year old could also sleep in the portable crib- he did some nights last year- he slept with other DS other nights.

My DC said that since I don't want her to pay us that she will pay for all of the dinners, our adult night on the town, and even give each kid spending money. Way too much in my opinion, as I told her! But that is so nice to even offer! I'll be happy with a dinner! I haven't seen this cousin since I was a kid- we are in our mid-30s now! Really, I was probably 12! Actually, I did see her at a funeral about 15 years ago. We keep in touch and our boys have the same name and I love her to death! And her Mom is the best ever! She will keep me in stitches! I am so excited bc I adore this part of my family. My only possible issue is my mother because she drives me nuts. But, I know that she'll be better with my DC and DA there!
Oh, and I'm not worried about them backing out. She's already requested the vacation time and is looking at flights now. I actually told her to wait until I talk to DS(8) teacher in a few weeks just to make sure they don't have a big exam then or anything. I know they won't, but with her buying the plane tickets, I want to be 100% sure that nothing messes it up!
If for some reason they had an emergency and couldn't go, it'd still be OK as we were going anyway and in the same size room. So we'd be out nothing.

Oh, and Phil- I would love a GV, but just don't have the points and don't want to shell out the extra money to rent them at this point. If anyone else adds themselves, I'll decide then how to handle it and we will have to divide the costs of either an extra studio or a GV depending on the situation.

 

[StitchFan73]

You seem to have it worked out but I was gonna suggest you let you cousin pay for your moms' ticket

 

[PHILCT]

Tree House Villas sounds so great !
And a wonderful choice for your family.

Wishing you a great vacation.

Phil

 

[StitchBuddy]

It sounds like you have a great trip planned!! It also sounds like you have a great family!

 

[castleri]

Well, even in these few minutes, we have worked a lot out over email. Here's the breakdown for now:



My DC said that since I don't want her to pay us that she will pay for all of the dinners, our adult night on the town, and even give each kid spending money. Way too much in my opinion, as I told her! But that is so nice to even offer! I'll be happy with a dinner

I think I would try to come up with some amount such as the the actual cost of points for a studio or the maintenance cost for those points rather than the meals. Does she have a clue as to what meals could cost for that size group? At least that lets her pay something without going overboard. As you said a dinner or maybe two would also be good. Sounds like you will have a very good trip.

 

[MinnieGi]

THV sounds great for you group. And I bet the kids will love being in the bunk room together!

I think that is super wonderful your cousin wants to pay something for the room or pay for all dinners. She must not realize how much all those dinners would cost!! Yikes! But still so nice to hear a family story on these boards where the invited guests really seem to appreciate the accomadations rather than start giving the organizer their list of "needs"!

Sounds like it should be a fun trip and mini-reunion!

 

[Dizney_Mike]

I know this has been discussed, but I can't seem to find it at the moment. OK, so we are the DVC members and go all the time. I always ask family to come and they never do. Well, this year, it looks like several of them are deciding to come all at the same time- lol. Well, just possible 4 of them. If they all actually do come, it will be:

My family: DH, me, DS(8) and DS(2)
My Mom
My Cousin and her son (7)
My SIL(45)

My Mom has some health issues and we have always invited her, but she's never been able to come- mainly due to money issues, too. This time, we told her that we'd pay for ticket to get in and meals if she'd watch the boys at night if we wanted to go back to the parks and/or for naps. She will need all the rest!

My SIL- we invited with the understanding that in lieu of payment for the room, she could just babysit one night or two for us. Of course, this was before we thought my Mom would actually come, but it's still cool.

My Cousin- We just told her we were going and she was planning on coming at the same time in a different room. Since it's now just going to be her and her son, she asked if there was a place we could all stay together and she'd of course split the cost. Well, since we are DVC, we of course won't have costs. I explained to her the whole DVC thing and that we don't really pay for the room. I also explained our deals with Mom and SIL. She still wants to pay us her "share" of the cost. I don't know what to do or how to even come up with a cost. I was thinking of re-explaining the whole cost deal and then letting her know how much it would be to rent points and then divide it by the # of people and all. But, still give her the option of nothing or a dinner (which I already did but she refused). Any other ideas how to approach this?

Thanks!

You know you could do what I do with my family when they want to pay is just ask for MF for the points they will use. Since AKV is $4.95 a point for MF, thats all I ask them to pay if they want to pay. Otherwise I don't ask them to pay if its family. Its a cheaper way of doing it than asking her to pay an inflated cost of like 7 to 10 dollars a point. She is still paying but you are not guilty of profiting either.

 

[fafalee]

I have invited friends and family also in the past and have done both...either not charge them anything or charge them our cost which includes the price per point (purchase price plus maintenance) for that particular stay. Many times people SOME people will feel uncomfortable and will want to pay for their share. It makes things easier regarding having to pay than to think of some other form of compesating you. When you figure out the actual cost someone would pay to stay at the regular or even discounted rate, the DVC point rate cost is substantially lower. Whatever you decide it sounds like you and your family are a pleasure regarding working things out!

 

[NH Disneyfan]

I have always found that squabbling over payment is just a bad situation. Adults generally want to pay for what they (and their family) costs and this really shouldn't be a big deal. If you deflect and try to work around it, the brain power thinking about the situation and discomfort with the situation erode what should be an awesome experience. A distraction most families really don't need.

Here's what I like to do. For Accommodations, figure out a fair cost. If a studio is fair, go with that and total the points for the stay and charge your cost. That would be original plus maintenance. I also like the idea of just maintenance. For meals, we always try to get the Dining Plan when with a group, because we're all on our own payment system. Another way is to make dining reservations together and determine who will pay where ahead of time.

I agree with prior posts - people just don't know what it really costs and they think a meal is a good thing only to find out it was a few hundred $$$ and then they think about it the rest of the trip. Full transparency should make things so much better.

I think families fight over the stupidest stuff. Seriously, payment for things(?), it should all come out in the end to an equal. Unless someone is clearly gifting a trip to a group and everyone clearly agrees it is a gift and who's accountable, all the back/forth on who pays what and what is fair distracts from what is important - being together.

Set a price, collect the cash, and go and have an awesome vacation happily ever after. It will make everyone feel a lot better.

 

[DenLo]

I think I would try to come up with some amount such as the the actual cost of points for a studio or the maintenance cost for those points rather than the meals. Does she have a clue as to what meals could cost for that size group? At least that lets her pay something without going overboard. As you said a dinner or maybe two would also be good. Sounds like you will have a very good trip.

Good idea. I would figure out the points for a studio, and what portion of your annual dues those points cost you and charge her that amount. And then give her a link to the Hoop-De-Doo Review and she'll see why it's too expensive for her to pay for everyone's meals. http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/dining/hoop-de-doo-musical-revue/seating-prices/

BTW, Hoop-De-Doo would be a fun group thing to do.

 

[kamik86]

I have a group of 9 going in Oct. We are staying in a 2 bed room but we are all close family so it will work like this:

Me and DH in Master bed
My parents in one bed in second bedroom
My sister and neice (16) in other bed
My two other neices (coming without their mom) in the sofa in the living room
My 3rd sister in the sleeper chair.

The way I figured cost was originally my two neices weren't coming as their mom was still thinking of going in their own room and we were all staying in 2 or 3 (if my sister and her 2 daughters came) when I decided to buy dvc I figured out how much it would save everyone and had them give me about half of the savings for room cost. It came to $100. When my neices added in we just had them pay $100 as well.

Thus we are getting $700 from our guests total, which is around 140 points worth of maintenace fees. The room is costing us 240 points. However even though this seems like we are getting less some of these points were the free 2009 ones we got when joining and we get the best sleep spot so we don't mind the extra cost.