Help with 4 year old?

[WDWorBUST]

Okay I actually have several questions I'd like to pose to you guys.

1.) Does your 4 year old still nap? And if not what is their bedtime and wake up time??

2.) I want to get DD involved with helping more around the house on her level. She's young enough that it's still fun to her....but old enough that in some areas she could be a huge help. What are some age appropriate "chores"? (And if you have ideas to turn them into games even better)

3.) I'd love ideas on "reponsibility charts" and what items you include and what rewards/incentives you offer.

Thanks for any and all help!
Amanda

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

I have a 10 year old, 5 year old, 4 year old and 1 year old. Only the one year old still naps in the daytime, only time the older ones will sleep in the day time is if they are sick or have had a particularly hard day at school (my 4 year old does part time school and she'll fall asleep after school on the day they have swimming) They (the middle 2) go to sleep between 8 and 9pm, we don't do a set bedtime- we never have done, we just work with them taking themselves to bed when they are tired and it works well for us. They're both up at 6am every morning, if not before, so it must be enough sleep for them. My eldest will usually take herself to bed at 9-9.30ish and reads until she falls asleep, she gets up 7am to get ready for school.

My 4 and 5 year old both help out around the house, they tidy their shared room with the help of their older sister. Everyone is expected to take their own plates out after a meal, everyone is expected to bring their own dirty laundry down stairs each day. Everyone is expected to make sure their water bottle and lunch bag is in the kitchen ready for the next day and school uniforms are folded when they change clothes. They can load or unload a washer, although folding clothes they have enthusiasm but not much skill They help with pick up of the family room, my 5 year old likes to be the one to sort the recycling (he has special needs and one of his present obsessions is the environment so we support that) and the composting.

With cooking we like to teach them young- even the baby (16 months) will fetch and carry things in the kitchen- although someone has to give him the right thing or you'd end up with the entire contents of the cupboard he gets a bit over excited . DD4 will fetch ingrediants and stir things, DD10 can cook a family meal if needed.

I think we've always had success in this by never making anything a chore- there's no punishment if it's not done other than the direct consequence (you don't bring laundry down you run out of clothes, you don't take plates out you're not eating next meal etc - it sounds harsh and weird but it works as it means i'm not the nagging mom, they're just reaping the benefits or suffering the downfall of their own actions) We just tell them everyone in this house pitches in because we're a larger family and if we all want to live in a nice house, we all have to help make it nice. Not having them see things in a negative light has worked well for us but we're quite an unconventional household.

 

[hvivona]

1.) My youngest DD is now 5, but at age 4 she still took naps. Bedtime was and still is 8pm and wake up around 6:30.
2.) My kids started making their beds at 4. Granted it was a big ol mess, but they were so proud of themselves. Also, setting the table is a great "chore" for 4 year olds.
3.) Our "responsibilty charts" included things like: make bed, pick up messes, put dirty clothes in hamper, set table, brush teeth, keep room neat...

 

[stopher1]

1.) My youngest DD is now 5, but at age 4 she still took naps. Bedtime was and still is 8pm and wake up around 6:30.
2.) My kids started making their beds at 4. Granted it was a big ol mess, but they were so proud of themselves. Also, setting the table is a great "chore" for 4 year olds.
3.) Our "responsibilty charts" included things like: make bed, pick up messes, put dirty clothes in hamper, set table, brush teeth, keep room neat...

We're with you on all of these, except our DD is just 4 now. She's started to "make" her bed, help set the table, brush her teeth, pick up her toys downstairs and take them back upstairs, etc. She still takes a nap every couple of days but is fighting it on the other couple. My DW WANTS her to still take a nap, but she's definitely about to the end of the road. She WILL still nap mid-day on busier days (a la theme park days when on vacation) if we use the stroller...if not, she'll get cranky, but has nowhere to sleep.

 

[Twingle]

I have twin DD's that are 4 y.o. - they gave up napping right after they turned two, unfortunately!

They go to bed at 8p and are usually up between 6:30-7a.

Some of the jobs they do are:

-putting their clothes into the laundry hamper
-wiping off the table (we use clorox wipes) before and after meals
-putting napkins and (empty) cups on the table for meals
-cleaning up their dishes
-they'll help me put laundry into the washer and dryer
-they'll help me put dishes in the washer
-match up their socks - I fold them
-help with cooking - they'll usually stir things that aren't hot and they LOVE to make muffins, they'll also carry ingredients to the counter for me
-they have to clean up their books, toys, etc. before bed, anything that stays on the floor goes into a big basket I have, and they have to earn it back

Right now, we don't do a reward or responsibilty chart. My DH and I agree that the things they are able to do are part of being a family, and everyone does their share.

 

[nessz79]

I have a 5 year old (just turned 5) and a 3.5 year old. The 3.5 year old still naps every day religiously unless there's a special circumstance. The 5 year old naps mostly on weekends. My 5 year old really needs sleep to function. He goes to bed at 8 and gets up at 6:30. When he naps, it's harder for him to fall asleep at night.

We don't have a routine of chores that they do. They are both expected to clean their rooms when told, clean up after themselves when playing. I also have the 5 year old help put clothes away and sometimes the 3.5 year old. The 5 year old puts his plate in the sink when he's finished eating. The 5 year old loves to help clean so sometimes I'll send him around with a dry cloth to help dust and he loves it. The 3.5 year old will sometimes try to copy, but he loses interest quicker.

We don't have responsibility charts, so I can't help there.

 

[Manda]

My 4 1/2 year old still naps. I've been trying to gently nudge him away from it because he really needs to adjust before Kindergarten starts in fall. He really is a mess without it though. He sleeps from about 8 until 6. He absolutely will not sleep past 6. If he would, I don't think he'd need a nap. I just wish I could figure out the magic trick for that one.

As far as chores go, he picks up his toys when he brings them into the living room to play. He puts his dirty clothes in the hamper. He gets the napkins and silverware for the table and fills and carries the water glasses for the table. After dinner, he puts the napkins in the hamper (we use cloth) and carries the dishes to the dishwasher as one of us load it. He fills the cat bowls as well. If the trash bag is light enough, he'll carry the trash to the trash chute. He doesn't do all these things on a consistent basis though.

 

[RMulieri]

My dd is 4. She no longer naps but 7:30 pm is bedtime.She usually reads quietly for about 20mins then she is asleep.Unfortunately, she is up at 5:00 am everyday- we tried to back up her bedtime to make her sleep longer, and force naps- still gets up 5:00. I have a magnetic wipe off reward chart I found at staples.She earns one star per chore per day.Chores are: dressing self,brushing teeth, picking up toys and putting away, eating her meals, listening to Mom and Dad. Infractions lose stars. At the end of the week we tally up stars. 25 and she gets money ( couple of dollars).It seems to be working because I rarely have problems with her anymore.

 

[my2princessgirls]

I have two gilrs, ages 5 and 3.5. The 3.5 year old still naps every day, and the 5 year old naps probably 3 times a week. They both go to bed at 8 and get up at 7.

We have a responsibility chart (got it at Target) that has - make bed, get dressed on your own (I set out their clothes the night before), clean their room, clean the playroom, pick up any toys that have made their way out of those rooms, get ready for bed. They get to put a magnet on each day, for each chore that they accomplished. We just started this a couple of weeks ago, and it has worked wonderfully! It's so nice to have a clean house again! They now pick up their toys before they get something else out because they know otherwise they will have a big mess at the end of the day. We are getting a puppy at the end of May, and we will add feed/water the dog to the chart.

At the end of each week (Sat. night), they get their allowance. We are also teaching them about tithing since they are now earning money, so when they get their money, they put 10% in their purse to take to church the next morning.

The responsibility chart has really been great for our family. It has several more spaces left to add chores as they get older, so I can see us using it for a long time to come!

 

[ksumn1]

My 4 year old will "rest' and occasioanlly map during naptime at school Never ever at home (I wish she would cause I would loooove a nap myself)

She shares a room with her sister so she had to help pick up the room, tries to make the bed, puts the DVD's and CD's up. She get the little trashcans in the bathrooms and by the desk and empties them when we get the trash together. Puts new bags in and replaces the can to the correct room. She also wipes down the girls the bathroom counters with clorox wipes and scrubs the toilet (She loves to scrub the toilets, it's her favorite chore so I "let" her do mine too) She helps with dinner...getting the ingredients out of the fridge, measuring, pouring..... no cutting yet. She is also the microwave Queen since she has learned her numbers. You need something nuked, she's the girl for the job. She likes to vacuume but she doesn't do it well since the vacuume's so heavy. DD also rinses dishes that aren't too heavy, puts dishes away in the bottom cabinets, loads the dryer and clean the lint filter (another of her favorite jobs) She's expected to help but of course it's usually only one or two chores a day. We used to do a sticker chart.....I really need to do a new one. They really enjoyed it. I don't remember why I stopped. I think because DH didn't keep up with it when he was home and I was working or at school, and the girls got mad because he was cheating But it was only if they did extra chores because I feel that as members of the household they have a responsibility to help out. But definately rewarded above and beyond help.

 

[The Moonk's Mom]

My 4 YO gave up naps at two except about once a month, without notice, he will pass out cold wherever he is at 4-5pm and will not really wake up until 7 or 8am the next morning. My older two napped until about age 3.5. We do not have a chore chart. No reason, just don't have one. They are each responsible for their rooms, the oldest for her bed, the two younger ones try. They do the usual with the dishes and keep the toy room picked up and must bring all outdoor toys to the garage at night. They help with cooking, sometimes. But the big thing for them is helping DH with yard work. They have to keep all fallen limbs and twigs picked up.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

My 4 y.o. DD doesn't nap.
She goes to bed around 8 (sometimes falls asleep before that on her own) and she wakes up some time b/t 6-7 am.

She doesn't have a lot of "everyday" responsibilties other than picking up and putting away her toys....Sometimes she'll set out the silverware/napkins for dinner.

We do have a behavior sticker chartfor both my 2y.o. and 4 y.o.. Every 5 stickers she gets a small prize ( like a little trinket toy that you would find in a child's party goodie bag)... and every 25 stickers earns a trip to the mall for an icecream and a dollar store item. It takes her several weeks to earn a mall trip. I take away stickers for naughty behavior, but they can also earn them back....