Help requested from UK Disers!

[Pugdog007]

My DD18 is dating a boy from England. They haven't been dating very long, but seem to have gotten serious really fast. He was here to visit her last week, he's coming back in October, and his family has invited her to WDW in Dec.

Today, his Mum sent me an email asking me if I'm ready to buy a hat yet??? Is this something to do with marriage? If so, is it customary to get married young over there? Doesn't everyone go to university first?

Sorry for all the questions. Just a bit concerned as she just started college. I like him a lot... but really hope he isn't talking to his parents about getting married! Not to mention that I wouldn't be too happy if my only child moved to England!

 

[Claire L]

University isn't such a big thing over here, what with the costs etc but marrying young also isn't a great thing either AFAIK. Most people get married in their mid 20's, well most of my friend's did, sometimes they are a little younger and sometimes a little older.
The hat comment is probably just a little thing that is often said here when a couple are serious but it doesn't mean marriage is on the cards right away.
Oh and what's to say that they would settle in England, I would guess that the US could also be a good choice, well it would for me if I we in that position.
Hope all goes well for you and your DD.

Claire

 

[yo-ho-yo-ho]

I think his mum is having a wee side joke, don't read to much into it.

 

[shellbell]

I wouldn't worry too much Its something we say as a joke over here. You will probally find she wants the best for her son too

 

[UKDEB]

Yes, it sounds very 'tongue in cheek'. Sounds like she's just trying to lighten the mood and break the ice with you. I'm sure if she'd posted it here, rather than written it in an email, it would have been followed by a .

 

[Pootle]

I also think it was a joke. 'Get ready to buy a hat' is often used with tongue in cheek It was probably a gentle reference to how serious the youngsters are - at the moment!

People are marrying later and later here and I read recently where average age is somewhere in the late 20s with 30s being common. Sure you don't need to worry

 

[jen_uk]

It sounds like it was just a joke! Plus you may find that he would rather move to the USA than her move to the UK! I would!

 

[carolfoy]

I'll agree with the joke - a flip comment we all make.

 

[Boo Boo Too]

I agree with the others - it is a bit of a jokey comment made over here. She may also be using it to gauge your reaction too...

If you are "worried" try a having a light chat with your daughter (nothing too heavy/serious)... maybe check how your daughter is feeling about college and her "long distance relationship" - just to make sure she is ok with everything.

I agree with others - if it was the choice of settling in the Uk or the US... I would go for the US.

I met my husband at university (when I was 18), started dating him at 19, married him at 23 and we just celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. We didn't rush into anything, but the wedding did come about sooner rather than later because of parental pressure (his parents - not to get married, but not to live together... we were living together, but lying was becoming more awkward!).

Boo

 

[catherine]

My cousins DD (20) just got married to a boy in the states. They first 'met' on the internet and we figured that it wouldn't go anywhere. Anyway he came over here to meet her family and she then went over there to spend time with his family and it went on from there. I think he just has to finish college and then they are planning on settling over here in the UK.

 

[Pugdog007]

Thanks so much for the info! Even if they do get married in a few years, I'm not planning to wear a hat! I'd look ridiculous!

I'm making an assumption that they would want to live there for 2 reasons. One, if it were me and I had a choice of Alabama or (London) England, I would choose England. And two, he has mentioned working for or taking over his Dad's business and it's in England.

They met on a cruise over the Summer.

 

[UKDEB]

if it were me and I had a choice of Alabama or (London) England, I would choose England

LOL, the grass is always greener, isn't it? I would give my eye teeth to move to the States!

 

[jen_uk]

LOL, the grass is always greener, isn't it? I would give my eye teeth to move to the States!

So would I!!!

 

[jjpenguin]

If any of you remember Rhys, he met his American girlfriend on line and they were married fairly soon. She went over to the UK to be with him.

 

[catherine]

LOL, the grass is always greener, isn't it? I would give my eye teeth to move to the States!

It's funny when people find out that DH is from California they cannot believe that he chooses to live here!

 

[tony64]

These people should be locked up ( they must be mad to choose to live this side of the pond)

Given half a chance I bet most UK disers would move stateside.

 

[Pugdog007]

Well yeah this is all a surprise to me. I love London. I've been trying to figure out whether or not I could move there if my DD ends up there. Why would you prefer the states to England? Seems like a great place to me.

Hey... you think the BF's just trying to get a green card?

 

[Boo Boo Too]

Well yeah this is all a surprise to me. I love London. I've been trying to figure out whether or not I could move there if my DD ends up there. Why would you prefer the states to England? Seems like a great place to me.

Ok, am not familiar with Alabama, so can't compare...

Am very familiar with California (have family over there, so visit once of twice a year), Colorado (go skiing there once a year), been to New York a few (3?) times, Chicago a couple of times, Florida (all over) quite a few times, North Carolina (and down the coast to Florida) a few times, Nevada a few times, Arizona once and probably a few other places along the way...

... From what I have seen, the US is a beautiful country. I love the space and how things are "spread out". I love the weather in California (infact, I would LOVE to live in California...). The skiing in Colorado is fab. My experience of most Americans is that they seem like a genuine and very nice bunch . The service industry (restaurants etc.) in the US is generally a lot better than the UK. The food seems to be better in the US (particularly steaks, seafood, fish etc).

I am not a BIG city person - so London or New York or Chicago don't appeal. I would only want to live in a city if I was REALLY rich (i.e. would probably live in a penthouse apartment right on the Thames with a HUGE roof terrace garden...). But even then... am not that keen on cities. I live in a small (very historical) city and that is ok.

I think that you get better real estate in many parts of the US than in the UK. For what we have paid for a house in the UK, could have a HUGE house with a big garden and lovely pool in Orange County, California... (and probably something better in other parts of the US).

Boo

Hey... you think the BF's just trying to get a green card

Nah, just sounds like young love to me

 

[catherine]

Hey... you think the BF's just trying to get a green card?

Some of my DH's 'friends' said that I was only marrying him to get a green card! I hadn't known him very long when we got married! I guess now that we've been married 18 years and have two DD's they no longer think that!

 

[Boo Boo Too]

Some of my DH's 'friends' said that I was only marrying him to get a green card! I hadn't known him very long when we got married! I guess now that we've been married 18 years and have two DD's they no longer think that!

My husband's British Citizenship came through 6 months before we got married. Apparently his mother was really annoyed - since they needn't have gone through so much cost, hassle and "string pulling" to get his British Citizenship if they had known he was going to marry me...

Boo