Help! PLEZE! ;)

[LondonLady]

Hey guys! Just needed some fresh thought to help me.
Ok here's the deal. I need lines for being Mary Poppins at a public event. This is a loong way away (almost a year, but still I always procrastinate) Can any of you think of some good lines if a kid comes up and asks me something like
"Where's Bert?" or something to that effect!

 

[AmoDolphin]

Where's Bert; With Ernie!

 

[LondonLady]

oh that joke is bad! BOO!

 

[AmoDolphin]

Thanks. You got somethign better? (j/k)

 

[LondonLady]

Yes actually!

"Two men were talking. One person said, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
The other man replied, "Really? What's the name of his other leg?"

 

[AmoDolphin]

I was eating some cake and this person came up and said "Can I have a bite?"
So I bit him.

 

[goofyandplutoluver]

Yes actually!

"Two men were talking. One person said, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
The other man replied, "Really? What's the name of his other leg?"

"Knock, Knock."

"Who's there?"

"The."

"The Who?"

Hey, I like that band."


Yeah pretty lame, but whatever floats your boat.

 

[goofyandplutoluver]

I was eating some cake and this person came up and said "Can I have a bite?"
So I bit him.

 

[AmoDolphin]

Two people walk into the bar. They order a drink and a mop. THEY'RE SKELETONS!

 

[Sparx]

Two people walk into the bar. They order a drink and a mop. THEY'RE SKELETONS!

Ok. I'm showing my hair color here, but...huh? I don't get it and I feel stupid. lol

 

[AmoDolphin]

You see, the drink goes through the skeleton, and they have to mop it up.

 

[Sparx]

You see, the drink goes through the skeleton, and they have to mop it up.

oh ok. lol

 

[AmoDolphin]

Ah the joy of bordom.

 

[goofyandplutoluver]

"Knock, Knock."
"Who's there?"

"Boo."

"Boo Who?"
"Dont cry!"

That joke it so old but whatever.

 

[LondonLady]

Excuse me guys, but this thread was not posted as a joke topic!

So please exit - the door is that way - if you aren't replying to my original post!

 

[Sparx]

Excuse me guys, but this thread was not posted as a joke topic!

So please exit - the door is that way - if you aren't replying to my original post!

you know. you really can't keep people from replying just becuase they aren't syaing what you want them to.

 

[LondonLady]

oh believe me I know. I'm sorry if I seemed very very mad to you but I just get a bit irritated easily.

 

[Sparx]

oh believe me I know. I'm sorry if I seemed very very mad to you but I just get a bit irritated easily.

don't worry about it. I get worked up over some really weird stuff. lol