Help Please..

[Trinity524]

So, my DH just got a promotion at work. YAY!

We are currently going to be staying at CBR, and there is another family we know are staying there as well. I guess I should also add that now my DH is now considered her boss...(we all work at the same place and I work in a different department). Not sure how it would appear if we were at the same hotel, but we've been friends for years.... I just priced out an upgrade to WL (our dream resort) and we can afford the extra 1000. I am sure they would understand, but would you upgrade or am I just making this harder than it is?

 

[mrsklamc]

Did you plan to go together or was it a coincidence?

 

[mkstlowe]

If you planned on going together. Then you should stay together. So if this person can not afford the extra $1000. Then you should stay where you are at. If you have been friends for long time. Then the change in postion means nothing.

Good luck in what you decide.

 

[Trinity524]

We did plan to go together.... thinking that because he's now technically her boss, we should probably just tell someone and it should be okay. We planned this prior him getting interviewed or a getting a promotion.

 

[bumbershoot]

When DH and I started *dating*, and he was my Lead, the first person we told was the person in charge of scheduling reviews...

It would never occur to me to worry that going on a vacation with a friend, even if they were newly my boss or I was their boss, was such a forbidden thing that someone would need to actually switch resorts!

As long as he treats the friend as he treats all other employees *at work*, I can't see it being a big deal. Run it by HR if you wish, of course.

 

[amoggio816]

As long as she understands work is work and vacation is VACATION then you should be fine.

 

[eyor44]

I wouldn't worry as the trip was planned before he got the job. Any future trip, I would think how it would look to other employees unless it is a small group and they are all aware of the long time friendship.

 

[Trinity524]

We worries at the perceived favoritism. We all (her, her husband, me, my husband) worked in Jacksonville, FL together and when that site closed down, we moved to San Antonio, TX. Seeing that we became neither family had family here, we became close. He became her team's lead a year ago but now that he would have her reporting directly to him, we worried about the perceived favoritism when it came to raises and reviews. The are a small group of tenured analysts, but I think I just freaked a bit because I would NEVER go on vacation with someone on my team. (I am a manager in a different group).

How would you feel if your manager went on vacation with one of your team members?

 

[akcire]

I think it would be MORE awkward if you upgraded to a Deluxe. If I had planned a vacation with you and you then became my boss & upgraded to a better hotel, it would make me feel like you were now "too good" to stay in a moderate.

Since the vacation was planned before the promotion leave it alone. If it works out you can continue to vacation together, if it is awkward it can be the last time.

Disney is a big place, how much time you spend together is up to you, the hotel is of little consequence since you would not be sleeping in the same room.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think it would be MORE awkward if you upgraded to a Deluxe. If I had planned a vacation with you and you then became my boss & upgraded to a better hotel, it would make me feel like you were now "too good" to stay in a moderate.

Since the vacation was planned before the promotion leave it alone. If it works out you can continue to vacation together, if it is awkward it can be the last time.

Disney is a big place, how much time you spend together is up to you, the hotel is of little consequence since you would not be sleeping in the same room.

THIS

 

[kymmyk13]

I would not worry about it, your families are still going to be friends, this was planned before the promaotion and I hope neither side lets this affect the realtionship. Just understand that some people will think he is showing favoritism even if he is not, because you all are friends. It is kind of like on here, certain people are always negative and have to disagree.

 

[tlbwriter]

I think it would be MORE awkward if you upgraded to a Deluxe. If I had planned a vacation with you and you then became my boss & upgraded to a better hotel, it would make me feel like you were now "too good" to stay in a moderate.

I agree. I think anyone should understand that when you planned the vacation, you were coworkers, especially if you don't vacation together in the future.

 

[jodifla]

I agree. I think anyone should understand that when you planned the vacation, you were coworkers, especially if you don't vacation together in the future.

Why can't they vacation together in the future, though?

I worked in the same department for 20 years. After 10 years, I was made the boss of the department. That didn't stop me from seeing my friends -- my co-workers -- outside of work at parties, for movies, for lunch, etc.

 

[Karenj2]

I know that perception can sometimes outweigh reality, but I think you're overthinking things.

I'm in the same Bible study as my boss - she started coming to the church I go to, and then was invited to the Bible study by a mutual friend. At work, she's fair to a fault, but outside of work, we're friends. The only place where she drew the line was being Facebook friends, but since she's actually leaving the company in 12 days , we're now friends there, too.

If you want to forstall any possible issues with other coworkers, what if your DH were to talk to his entire department, and just lay it on the line - "I'm friends with X outside of work, but as your manager, I will treat you all fairly."

Anyway - I wouldn't change your vacation plans, and just enjoy yourself - it's a vacation after all!

 

[mrsklamc]

Anyone would understand that you had planned the trip before the promotion. If you planned to go together and stay at the same hotel then switching now is downright rude & honestly if the friends were offended (which they would have the right to be) it might cause more problems at work than what you're worrying about.

Go enjoy your trip as planned....though there's no need for the three of you to discuss it at work any more than absolutely necessary.

 

[JennyKS]

My boyfriend works in the same department as me and is techincally my boss. People have thought we have been going out for years, when actually it's just been the last 3 months. But we've taken vacations together for a couple of years. We go out to lunch together all the time, sometimes with and sometimes without his other employees. Since this was planned well before the promotion I don't think the other coworkers are going to think anything about it. And honestly, I don't think they will think anything about it when you go on your next vacation with them. I love love love vacations with friends!

Nobody at work gets jealous of the relationship between me and my boyfriend. We are normal work friends at work and then the other at home. We both know better then to cross any lines at work.

 

[okeydokey]

Why can't they vacation together in the future, though?

I worked in the same department for 20 years. After 10 years, I was made the boss of the department. That didn't stop me from seeing my friends -- my co-workers -- outside of work at parties, for movies, for lunch, etc.

Exactly, I don't understand the problem here.

 

[tlbwriter]

Why can't they vacation together in the future, though?

I worked in the same department for 20 years. After 10 years, I was made the boss of the department. That didn't stop me from seeing my friends -- my co-workers -- outside of work at parties, for movies, for lunch, etc.

Seriously?

It's generally considered inappropriate to socialize with the people you supervise. I'm not talking about going to lunch together, having drinks with the gang after work, etc. Vacationing with someone is generally something you only do with close friends, and a wise supervisor avoids anything that smacks of favoritism.

 

[timmac]

Though only somewhat related, I'm reminded of a time from my youth many years ago, when my step-mom found a conference taking place at CSR, and persuaded her boss to send her (my dad, brother and I, got to come along as well, of course). Her boss came also.

On the first evening when we met up with his family, my step-mom presented to him a list of all the different seminars and talks that looked interesting to attend. He looked at her with a strange expression, and said, "What? I'm here on VACATION!"

Point of the story, though, back to the OP, is that--as another PP suggested-- work is work and vacation is vacation. If you get along well with someone from work and can spend time together while on vacation, then all the better. Either way, that you work together, even in a boss/subordinate way, doesn't really make much difference.

Have a good time

 

[Trinity524]

Seriously?

It's generally considered inappropriate to socialize with the people you supervise. I'm not talking about going to lunch together, having drinks with the gang after work, etc. Vacationing with someone is generally something you only do with close friends, and a wise supervisor avoids anything that smacks of favoritism.

This is what I was worried about. I appreciate your candid view.

I suppose most of you wouldn't have an issue of your boss going on vacation with one of your coworkers. When I think about my boss going on vacation with one of my coworkers, the first thing I think of is it being inappropriate. Lunch- fine. Maybe I am overthinking it, but I suppose I am putting in how I would feel and maybe not the feelings of others.