help...please help...

[AmandaSparks730]

If you've been reading my "Dear TB" posts, you'll know that I've been writing to someone named "Twilight". He's a friend of mine, won't give his real name.
He's depressed, and not in the "my life sucks, blah blah" depressed. He's depressed as in he's DEPRESSED.

My friend and I are trying to help him. He keeps saying "things would be better for you if I wasn't around" and "I'm not worth it".

No matter how much we tell him that we care, and that he's a really good person (which he is), he won't listen. Lots of stuff has happened to him (loss of friends, loss of family, abusive dad that left them, etc). I'm just scared of what'll happen next. It's his senior year, so he's off to college in September (RIC, in-state).

I can't seem to help him. And when I CAN help him, he doesn't want me to.

Advice...please...please advice...

 

[disneychick2721]

You need to give him a good slap in the face (not literally) and tell him enough is enough. Say that whether he wants to believe it or not hes an amazing person etc. Tell him that even though theres been tons of bad things happen to him something good is always around the corner.

 

[Smiley.Socks]

Aww Meg!
I wish I new what to tell you, but I don't.
Maybe he just needs his space for a while..
Maybe he can't let anyone in because of all the stuff that's happened to him.
I think you should just let him know that you care about him and that you're there for him if he needs anything.
I wish I could have been more help.

 

[Huit]

You need to give him a good slap in the face (not literally) and tell him enough is enough. Say that whether he wants to believe it or not hes an amazing person etc. Tell him that even though theres been tons of bad things happen to him something good is always around the corner.

That won't help anything. Give him his space.

 

[pigletgirl]

He needs help ASAP!

He sounds like he is suicidal. Its nothing to fool around with. He may even need to go to the ER immediately.

Megs, you are a wonderful person but this isnt something you and your friends can fix by yourselves. He sounds super sick.

Also, ask him why he's depressed and why he is having thoughts of suicide and if he has a plan.

I urge you....PLEASE get him help!!! Please please please!

 

[BabyPiglet]

Aw, I'm sorry Meg!

I'm really no good at advice, so I don't have much to add. I think all you can do is try to give him some space when necassary and make sure he knows you're always there for him.

 

[HouseMD1120]

You need to call 911. He sounds suicidal. Hes in need of immediate treatment and needs to go on suicide watch. You REALLY REALLY need to get help; It isnt something you get fix yourself. Its serious.

 

[imabrat]

You need to give him a good slap in the face (not literally) and tell him enough is enough. Say that whether he wants to believe it or not hes an amazing person etc. Tell him that even though theres been tons of bad things happen to him something good is always around the corner.

Absolutely not! BTDT, that'll push him right over the edge I guarantee you.


Meg, he needs help NOW! Call 911, bring him to an ER, do whatever you have to do to get him help. He's going to fight you tooth and nail for it, but don't give a damn. You can not sit there and let him wallow in his self-pity. It's not safe for you, and it's not safe for him.

 

[life of the party]

All you can do for him, is to just BE THERE.

Dont use all your time with him convincing him he's good enough.
Prove it to him.

Hang out with him, laugh with him, be his friend!
Dont just talk about his problems, that will just sink him deeper into depression.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

Oh God. Thank you, guys, SO MUCH.

I can't call the ER (at least, not at the moment), but I will tell someone about this (either I or my friend will. I'm also best friends with his sister, if it has to come to that).

For now, I'm just there for him (hugs, long talks, laughing). If this gets worse by tomorrow, I'm getting him help, I promise.

 

[disneychick2721]

Absolutely not! BTDT, that'll push him right over the edge I guarantee you.


Meg, he needs help NOW! Call 911, bring him to an ER, do whatever you have to do to get him help. He's going to fight you tooth and nail for it, but don't give a damn. You can not sit there and let him wallow in his self-pity. It's not safe for you, and it's not safe for him.

Yeah I definitely worded that wrong.
I didnt mean yell at him or anything but I meant what you said (the part I bolded).

 

[bananda]

some types of depression are caused by a chemical imbalance. in that case, the best thing you can do is get prefessional help.
i also think you should talk to someone because this can't be easy on you. as much as you need to support him and surround him with love, you also need support.
i'll put you both in my prayers

 

[Cassidy]

I'm not help, whatsoever.
I'm young, and have never been through this.

But I'll pray for him. I'd be crazy not too.

..you both need one.

 

[nerdylightbulb]

No offence to anyone, but your friend probably wants attention. If you ignore it, he'll eventually stop.

 

[Cassidy]

No offence to anyone, but your friend probably wants attention. If you ignore it, he'll eventually stop.

what if he doesn't want attention?

what would happend if they ignored him, and he killed himself thinking everyone hates him?

just asking.

 

[Sparx]

No offence to anyone, but your friend probably wants attention. If you ignore it, he'll eventually stop.

i'm kinda feeling that too. the truly depressed and suicidal often don't cry out for help.

personally, i'd talk to his sister first, and approach it as, "has soandso been acting a little weird lately? he seems upset about something." and then see what she has to say.

 

[nerdylightbulb]

what if he doesn't want attention?

what would happend if they ignored him, and he killed himself thinking everyone hates him?

just asking.

I've known people like that. When people asked them what was wrong, they wouldn't say anything and they'd act like it more often. Finally, people got tired of it and ignored those people and they stopped.

 

[Cassidy]

I've known people like that. When people asked them what was wrong, they wouldn't say anything and they'd act like it more often. Finally, people got tired of it and ignored those people and they stopped.

well, that could be a possibility..but there is a chance its real, and he is really depressed.

what would happen if its real? wouldn't you feel terrible for ignoring him?

 

[HouseMD1120]

i'm kinda feeling that too. the truly depressed and suicidal often don't cry out for help.

personally, i'd talk to his sister first, and approach it as, "has soandso been acting a little weird lately? he seems upset about something." and then see what she has to say.

Some people who are truly depressed and suicidal realize that what they are about to do is stupid and they want help. Not every depressed person is a hermit who refuses to talk about his feelings.

But Meg, you really need to tell someone today, at least his parents or the school counselor.

 

[AmandaSparks730]

The school councelor? I guess she could help. I'd tell my guidance councelor, but she's out from yesterday-tomorrow. We have a vacation next week, too.

But in response to nerdylightbulb, he's not crying out for attention. I know him better than that. He doesn't like to draw attention to himself, so that would be totally out of character for him.

I'll try to talk to his sister, but just a warning, it might be a little biased.

Then again, we were on the topic of suicide last night (he and I), and he claims that he's not...I won't let that go, though. I'd talk to his parents (well, mom and stepdad), but I don't know them that well. They have a lot to worry about (her dad died a few months ago, and my best friend just had surgury).

But really, thanks for the help.